Empress1

I like that he stands up to her.

Why doesn’t Shavel pull up her wig?

I am drinking a dessert wine that I’ve been saving for months as the snow sits outside, watching grown women scream at each other. Life is good.

It’s just a vibe I get. I’m not getting “I’m really into you but I’m not ready”; I’m getting “I like you as a friend so I’m doing as little as I can get away with.” It’s not just their physical interaction; it’s moments where he’s looked unhappy or can’t look her in the eye.

I definitely don’t think any man should necessarily be banging any woman as soon as they meet, and I actually think the best thing for Brennan and Austin to do is abstain, because they’re clearly not into their wives and it’ll hurt the wives worse if their husbands sleep with them and then dump them (which Brennan and Austin know). People are like “why isn’t Austin having sex with Becca??” and to me, it’s like … he doesn’t like her That Way, so of course he isn’t. He doesn’t dislike her like Brennan dislikes Emily, but he’s not romantically interested in her. But! Taking Becca out of it. He says he always moves that slowly. So let’s say he meets a woman on Hinge and they date, and he likes her and she likes him. Attraction is there, all that. All the women I know, myself included, would be questioning how into them he was if he didn’t do more than kiss them for three, four, five, six months. I can’t see myself waiting six months to have sex, barring a medical issue (which hopefully we’d discussed) or decision to wait until marriage (which is a decision I wouldn’t make). I would feel like he didn’t desire me. He clearly (to me, anyway) doesn’t desire Becca specifically, but he’s ostensibly moved this slowly with women he DOES desire, and that’s what I’m struggling with. He’s entitled to move however he likes, but if he and I were dating, I don’t think I could hang in there. I’m not going to beg anyone to have sex with me (unless that’s part of the sex, ha ha). I think he’s said it caused problems before and I’m not surprised.

I don’t think there’s a set time and no one should feel pressured to have sex they don’t want, but unless he’s really wooing women outside the bedroom, a lot of women, like Becca and I, are going to feel rejected and hurt if they aren’t expressing themselves physically, particularly if they’ve had the “we are in a relationship” talk. I know men and women who only have sex in relationships and not with people they’re casually dating, but they don’t take six months to claim being in a relationship. Even going further than kissing (and I looooooove kissing and just making out) would help. Like … you’re my boyfriend, don’t you want to see me naked? She has endometriosis and also had abdominal surgery not long before getting married.

Yeah, I was like “?!” when he said that. I hope he’s telling the women he dates that early on. If we get to the month mark and have only kissed, I’m going to assume you’re not that into me and move on. He can go at whatever pace he likes, but he and I would be incompatible.

Yep. He’s not into her and he (and Brennan) both know they’ll look like assholes if they fuck and run. Brennan actively dislikes Emily; Austin likes Becca as a friend at best, and I suspect he knows she’s more into him and he’s going to hurt her. Watched the Afterparty. Michael bought his first bride earrings and kept them for himself - he was wearing them when he told the group about his second go-round. I love that. (He also bought a bracelet that he returned, and a book he gave to another friend). He got a haircut - he has a buzz cut with a part now. He’s also pretty emotionally intelligent. Austin was like “I’m not going to give you details” and Emily haughtily asked “Why not?” Keisha said it was up to him how much he wanted to disclose. THEN Emily said that Becca told her that after the romantic date that we saw, “nothing happened.” Austin said that they didn’t have sex but they went further than they had before. Keisha was kicking Emily’s ass. I love it. “Let me be clear with you, Emily …” Emily was saying that Brennan talked in circles, but Keisha was asking her direct questions (“what happened?” “What did you say?”) that Emily rather bitchily refused to answer - despite giving Austin shit for not telling more of his business that she’d already aired. She came across as a huge asshole.

Well, now I’m curious. I’ll watch the After Party!

Keisha Knight-Pulliam, best known for playing Rudy Huxtable on The Cosby Show, is the host of the After Party. The sex therapist’s name is Dr. Pia (Pia is her first name).

I’ve never thought she’s sweet. That’s not her vibe, and given that her “friends” were basically like “you’re a self-absorbed asshole, how’s this going to work?” when she told them she was getting married, I think she’s probably not so nice.

I was with Becca when she said their joking around was foreplay. I love witty banter - it’s part of how I show affection, and that kind of sparring is often a sign of intelligence (I can’t be attracted to someone I don’t think is intelligent). Becca isn’t getting any more than a makeout session though - which can also be really erotic, but the difference is that when two people are into each other and they just make out, more is on the table. More isn’t on the table for Becca and Austin. Austin wore that hat in bed. I can’t. Cameron was like “Clare, leave me alone. Don’t bother me after surgery.” Ha!

I’m obsessed with the kitchens in the second and third Columbus houses. I’d have bought the third. I particularly loved the backyard in the third. One of them was balking at paint, and like … I’d expect to paint.

She does. Not sure what’s different, and I’ve always thought she was pretty, but there’s something about her this season - she looks really good.

Did production tell Alaura to have that conversation? Because that’s not one I’d have had with my mother at 18. It’s a little too “grown folks business.”

I agree, she adds nothing.

Catching up. Sweet Tea said Jackie and Heavenly are old and out of touch, but did she forget her husband is their contemporary? Also age-shaming sucks - if we’re lucky, we get to grow old. Better than the alternative! Leave Phaedra alone if she doesn’t want to get remarried, damn. She doesn’t have to!

Chance isn’t wrong about the eviction. My friend had to evict her ex when he refused to leave her house. Well, she started the process - the threat of legal action scared him and he left. But he had tenant rights because he’d been there for like a year.

Yo, this friend is a real one.

I’m almost positive you can finance cosmetic surgery through the surgeon’s office. Has to be a better interest rate than a credit card.

Why are her wigs always pulled so low?

Oooh, Shavel needs a bra.

What in the Foot Locker fuck is this outfit?

Why aren’t they using protection?!

How are they affording $4K a month?!