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I was thinking that the owner of the cat with the fish hook through its lip would have done as well going to @Bastet's house. Some really sweet, loving owners this week again.

Goodness, the adventures with the Kihansi spray toads! I could not be more in favor of species preservation and even I was amazed at the lengths they went to. The trip to Tanzania was amazing and I -- duh -- finally got why the toads were named that. They live in the freaking spray from waterfalls! Aw, big dumb pretty giraffes. They learned left vs right leg and to "target," though, so how bad could it be?

It's starting to seem more than a little desperate/manic, right? Jeez, Chris. Take a breath, calm down and maybe stop reading all the shit from online haters. People like you fine! You don't need to prove anything! You don't even need the money.

I'm not sure if aspirational TV is still a thing, but were there ever people or objects on TV that you seriously envied? As a young teen, I needed Laurie Partridge's entire life to replace my own -- the bus, the singing, the cute older brother, the groovy bell bottoms, the perfect hair. Later I was jealous of Monica Geller's West Village apartment -- that awesome balcony window! -- including furnishings and Monica herself as a neat freak roommate who would do all the cleaning and cooking. I'd also surely like to move to the fictional city of Longmire, Wyoming and meet Chief Mathias.

If "regular" men are too humiliated to use unisex (or nondenominational as I like to think of them) bathroom wipes in the privacy of their own homes, I kinda doubt that rugby players would willingly be seen in public huddling inside plastic pods. Also unzipping the things to step out and have a chat with the coach. I'm not a parent but I believe one of the reasons they watch their children play sports is to audibly encourage them. Or at least be readily visible on the sidelines for support. But maybe "third pod on the right" and "cheering in their heads" is good enough for the kids.

Leah, Kevin James, Tony Dovolani and Billy Joel having great fun at his concert. (The video is from a camera phone but I think that's Tony.) I'm so fond of Leah that I even set a recording for Kevin's silly sitcom so I wouldn't miss her upcoming guest appearances.

The Black man with the cane making sarcastic comments to the waiter about being served a watermelon entree? Come on. It's not as if the chef made other diners a different course. I believed the woman when she said she hadn't clocked it at all. If he lives his life at that kind of peak sensitivity, I wouldn't have gone out with him again. Otherwise, good on the producers for finding a guy who was taller than her. I felt for her when she mentioned the lifelong comments from men about wanting to climb her. Although her date wasn't much better with his pointed remarks about her ass. Ugh. Is that considered flirting these days? The blond false eyelashes woman couldn't believe beard guy didn't want a second date with her high maintenance self, but his rapid refusal was the best part of the show for me. Nerd woman was looking for another pop culture nerd, I guess, and instead got someone with no social skills. Did we find out what he does for a living that necessitates him carrying pens? I don't know if I'll be tuning in regularly because I have a low secondhand embarrassment threshold.

Maybe buyers had never heard about personal wipes before? I can't believe that many consumers are getting suckered by the gender claim. People! There are many alternatives out there for 1/3 the price. Being a couple of dude-inches larger does not make a difference. If you are a size queen, there are 8 X 10 aloe wipes by Medline, for example, that are ~4 cents each vs ~12 for Dudes. I thought this was completely ridiculous product when the segment aired so maybe it's sour grapes on my part. Fortunately I haven't done a scientific comparison of butthole sizes between men and women, but my guess is that humans of approximately the same height also have rectal openings of approximately the same general dimensions. Men don't need a specialized wipe!

Ha! It would be funny/painful/instructive to reread old Apprentice forums. I always thought he was a pompous ass but sort of came around in the first season to find him an amusing ass. I didn't watch subsequent seasons so my opinion may have changed, but I'd cringe to see some of my positive comments now.

Regarding the pop-in: People with secret lairs constantly have bad guys appearing unannounced. Might as well open a storefront.

Fer crissake. If Stephen has other commitments or needs to take a night off, air a shitting rerun already. The constant hocus pocus to make the audience believe the show is taped live five nights a week is insulting.

The writers missed a perfect callback to Penny's habit of going jogging and stopping for a bear claw! Although I suppose she could have changed her pastry preference in the intervening years. This isn't a complaint because I enjoy all the main cast, but the show used to be so focused on Leonard's crush on Penny and their subsequent relationship ups and downs but now they're both pretty much supporting characters. It seems like Leonard had fewer than 20 lines the entire episode.

Things could always turn on a dime, but right now I'm very much rooting for the gang of three (plus Maddie and Max) to outsmart the doctor, Lenny, and the FBI. Should be interesting since Maddie and now Jules have romantic feelings towards their FBI foes!

I won't be sorry to see Jordan go but wish him well. Best case scenario, he'll be able to get across his own voice like Sam has. Hasan leaving would sting but I feel like he's already halfway out the door with his standup tours and other projects. Any sharply wry Hispanic comics out there, feel free to apply.

Ah, interesting. I don't follow Tom's career but that sounds like a delicious bomb in the making. Luckily I remain unconflicted because (1) I don't go out to see movies any more, and (2) Russell Crowe is also on my boycott list. (Sorry, @spiderpig!)

Well, it's a long tradition. Rich Little and Fred Travalena used to call each other up and blow raspberries on the phone.

Pfft. All these so-called friends are complaining about things Leah supposedly did while she was still in the church. What does that say about Scientologists being the bestest communicators and most ethical people on earth? Also, did any of these wienies submit a Knowledge Report on Leah at the time detailing her supposedly horrible SP behavior? Didn't think so.

That's odd programming even in the age of DVRs. I just hope Chris will now stop explaining the show name/time inconsistency over and over. Also, ptooey on The President Show. Satire or not, I am SICK TO DEATH of every freaking late night show being 90% Trump jokes.

Going to the first class of an introductory self help course and being made to listen to strangers describe the most painful experience of their lives? Awkward! Also, Terence needs to get an office with non-glass walls if he regularly conducts secret meetings with his spies.

The relatives usually stroll right into the morgue to confront the coroner, too.

I'm a total quitter and give up on a lot of shows, but am still enjoying this. Soapy goodness that doesn't require good acting.

I wonder if Duff's vote carries more weight? Or maybe he just talks Lorraine and Nancy into going along with him if they don't really care one way or the other? He seemed to be the most vocal about the trifle being messy and not meeting the "updated" part of the challenge.

Episode title aside, is the show supposed to be an expose of actors having an overabundance of self regard but zero self control or respect for others? Megan, that director is a childish blowhard. Also, pulling out directly behind someone in car with shining headlights is a shit way to trail them. I would have left the Institute once I saw that the classroom had no chairs. Ain't nobody got time to sit on a pillow, mat, or backless stool for hours.

The Zoo always sends me to the Internet! This time it was to look up bee-eating birds. Who knew? I appreciated the close-up camera angles of them beating the bees to remove the stingers. How the hell did that behavior ever evolve? Nature is wack, man.

Oh, mercy. The litany of sibling injuries, both accidental and purposeful. My two-year-old godson once pushed his baby brother, who was in a walker/bouncer, out the open sliding glass door* to the backyard. There was a step down to the concrete walkway at the side of the house, so the fall required an ER visit. And you know his older brother did it on purpose: "Man, I used to have this pad all to myself." * Okay, yes. It was me but I only ducked out for a few seconds to put something in the garbage!!