Hip-to-be-Square

Kenny is in love with taco tits- for now 😏! He's pushing 40 and looks like cheap 4th of July firework packaging with all of his patriotic tattoos and has two giant stars near his penis- the man is not looking to finance a ring at Zale's anytime soon, Mari!

James is definitely a handsome hunk of a man! I love his complexion and blue eyes- he'd look great with a short, wavy hair cut. I don't know why he's having so much trouble finding ladies on this show- he was fun and outspoken on Katie's season. I'm always surprised about which guys/girls are crushed on the most or cast aside on this show. I bet he looks even hotter in person.

The PDA this episode was super trashy and lacked any subtlety- especially with multiple couples making out hard core within inches of each other! This reminded me of when I went to the mall years ago and paid for 10 minutes to relax on a robotic body massage recliner in front of Lens Crafters and a young couple sat in the seat next to me and proceeded to dry hump and make out 😆- I wasn't going to waste the robo-massage so I just averted my gaze and drank my fountain soda!

Joe is falling for annoying little girl voiced Serena and her 100% basic personality?! At least Kendall is original with her love of taxidermy and offbeat animal mating facts. Too many sloppy hookups this week- they need a hazmat team on that Boom Boom Room! I hope that the upcoming tropical storm scene next week blows off all of the sets of fake lashes.

If any of these people were genuinely looking for love, they'd trudge through the bleak world of dating apps and singles mixers like everybody else. I have a feeling that they're all here "for the wrong reasons" 😄! Also, did anybody catch the feral dogs eating Chris and Ayala's food during their make out?!

Why are they bringing on more girls?! I'm tired of looking at cellulite free asses and fake lashes- bring on the men!

The nerve of that chinless wonder Brendan for saying, "Natasha had zero prospects, no one was interested in her, I wasn't stopping her from finding someone interested in her". Brendan really thought Natasha would go down easy, but she ripped him a new asshole and I'm proud of her for not backing down. I hope Piper and Brendan enjoy their future D- List laxative tea and biotin gummy ad sponsorships.

I definitely think that Demi puts on a fake voice- when Brendan let her down at the end of their date, her voice immediately dropped and changed to her normal voice which is a deeper pitch without the nasally "sexy baby" type of voice. I think that Demi is a producer puppet and is mostly playing a character brought on to bring maximum drama, hookups and betrayal. On a side note, did anyone notice that Tre did the classic Seinfeld George Costanza "Preemptive Breakup" with Tahzjuan? He knew that his days were numbered and beat her to the punch to have the upper hand!

I like Demi for the same reason that I liked Victoria during Matt's season: they skip the niceties and go straight for the jugular, they're refreshingly vulgar and self aware and they make for great shit TV for me. Demi actually made me laugh when she made fun of the jewelry Deandra was given and when she said she was "planning the name of her first born child" after she boned Kenny. Most of the girls and guys on this show are attractive, but have pretty basic personalities- I think the show wouldn't be as exciting without a "villain" like Demi.

I love the rumpled, tired look on a guy too! Grocery Joe has it down pat: the messy/glossy curls, some crows feet, five o' clock shadow and bushy ungroomed eyebrows. Joe's looks AND his cute Midwestern accent push him into dreamboat territory for me!

An manscaped penis with a tacky tree tattoo will definitely haunt my dreams tonight! 🥴🏐

Mari has a gorgeous, bod and stunning face- I don't understand why Kenny would go from Mari to trashy teenybopper Demi. I do dock Mari for throwing that cake in the fire though- I get where she was coming from, but it looked so delicious! It reminded me of a hilarious scene in Strangers With Candy when the Meat Man is at a pizza restaurant and angrily yells, "Who's pizza is this?! Than it isn't anybody's pizza!!" And then he throws it at Stephen Colbert 😆

Red flags are aplenty with Aaron! He's the type of guy who can turn on the drop of a dime when he's pissed and would make girls walk on eggshells around him if he isn't happy. Aaron has a nice smile and great body, but dating him would make me binge eat out of stress and lose all of my fitness results 😅! He's a hard pass for me- I'd lace up my Keds and sprint to the nearest bus stop. Noah, Joe and Ivan are the hottest to me so far- they're easy going, very handsome and kind which goes a lot further for me than a super ripped body and sloppy sex fueled make outs ala Kenny and Thomas.

Mari kind of blew it when she suggested accepting dates and keeping options open: when you give a guy an out, he'll run for the door. Thomas would date a dolphin if it kept him on this show- I don't think that he's into any of these girls, he just gets off on being desired.

I always know that a fight is going to go down when the camera pans to a bird eating a crab! I hope they Febreze that boom boom room.

That's a great idea! I'll have to give Twitter a gander and figure out how to use it to give him a tweet message (I'm not the best with technology.) That's really cool that he liked and responded to your tweets!

I am obsessed with Burning Love 😄! I finished the first season and now I'm on the 2nd season where they do a satire of Bachelor in Paradise- it is such a great show! Natasha Legerro is so funny as the pant less party girl in the show and if you're a fan of her comedy, you should definitely check out her Honeymoon Special on Netflix with her comedian husband Moshe Kasher!

I totally agree! Riley is what I call a "sexual opportunist"- he may feel a genuine attraction to her, but he's also subtly pin pointing insecurities and desires and accelerating intimacy before Maurissa can really evaluate if they're a good match overall. I think given the cut throat competitive nature of the show, its best for these people to stick to some hot make outs and heavy petting on the beach rather than jumping into bed together before there's a label and exclusivity.

I'm not into super ripped guys either- I like slender, slightly muscled or hefty dad bod builds. I definitely suspect that Riley is stacking some performance enhancing drugs based on the disproportionate size of his arms and upper body and the enlarged veins running throughout his biceps.

Why did Maurissa bone Riley so soon?! He didn't even take her to P.F. Chang's or anything 😅!

I'd take David Spade in a heart beat! I'm 4'11" so I'd make him feel tall and I'm a jaded spinster with a dark sense of humor! I don't even want his money- take me to Denny's and call me pretty, David 😄

Oh I remember that now 😄! Over eager, sexy Noah kept jangling those damn tic tacs in his pocket and tipped em back into his mouth like a finished bag of Doritos- at least he wasn't awkwardly spraying some Binaca in front of Tayshia though!

I don't think that Noah is a virgin at all. Could Noah be a "technical virgin"? Maybe, but I highly doubt it if he's been on this franchise and dated in real life before. Noah has a lot of swagger, he kisses passionately, and has a flirty twinkle in his green eyes. This guy bones 😉

Kenny's clients are probably Kidz Bop CD singers.

Way to go, Chocolatine! All I know how to do on my computer is shop online, write emails and use Primetimer forums!