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Hip-to-be-Square

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Everything posted by Hip-to-be-Square

  1. I remember when I was in my early 20's I went to an open casting call for single women to audition for The Bachelor and we had to wait in line and fill out a form and the questions I remember being at the top were: Do you have a passport? Are you an actor/actress? If so, please list experience. I'm not an actress, but there seemed to be a lot of beauty pageant type blondes (some with crowns and sashes) in expensive gowns and spray tanned aspiring male models waiting in line. I'll never forget when I was talking to a girl in line and I jokingly said, "Everybody who auditions for this show is a divorced dental hygienist!" and the girl's face fell and she said, "I am a divorced dental hygienist." What are the odds?!
  2. Greg has Hollywood aspirations with 2:00am Hallmark movie qualifications.
  3. Katie's annoying voice always sounds like it is coming from a sock puppet. I'm not into the Gap crewneck church punch bowl server style t-shirt that they put on Katie- she has a boxy bod and the shirt isn't creating any sex appeal. Katie is definitely leading Michael on; she'd much rather bone a Canadian man whore than move to Ohio, load up the mini van with Capri Suns and hide dildos from a toddler. Andrew is a pro football player in Vienna, he'll be fine without chipmunk-cheeked American Girl doll looking Katie!
  4. I watch The Bachelorette to see running mascara, mental breakdowns, dated menswear and random clips of an ambulance.
  5. I don't believe Katie when she said that Blake sent a simple "congratulations for having a fun personality" message and left it at that. Two horn dogs don't just stick with one DM on Instagram and leave it at that- I guarantee that they took it to Snapchat with the anonymity of video messages disappearing after they're sent. If Katie keeps chasing passion and sexual chemistry while pushing away respectful, handsome and intelligent guys- then she deserves whatever future romantic disappointments might come to her. Katie is the queen of mixed messages to reject Connor over his kissing despite devouring his face multiple times for make out sessions on camera. Katie has zero subtlety in making out and goes from 0-60 with lots of tongue- she's one to talk with her lack of skills.
  6. How could I forget Bentley?! He was such an unfeeling jerk, but also might have been egged on by producers. I wonder whatever happened to Bentley- I'll have to check his Linkedin. I'll never forget when Ben Flagnick was pissed when Ashley turned down his proposal that season- finally someone not saving face. If I were turned down by the Bachelor, I'd tell him he's really missing out and I'd tearfully ask the driver to take me to the nearest 7-Eleven for a slurpee and Big Bite hot dog.
  7. I agree about Pluto being a strange name for a TV service 😄! It is free with some commercials on Pluto TV or you can binge watch/rent a whole season on Amazon.com for $3.99. It's definitely worth a watch- really captures the desperation, outrageousness and awkwardness in its hilarious parody of the Bachelor/Bachelorette shows!
  8. I loved the Jennifer Aniston cameo when I saw it years ago- she has such a recognizable voice that I immediately knew it was her 😆. My other favorite clip from this show is the Blaze clip- Blaze was the original Blake of this season haha. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8cJJrKKDX50
  9. Has anyone ever seen the show called, "Burning Love"? If you haven't, it came out in 2012 and is a such a great and funny parody of The Bachelor/Bachelorette TV shows. Michael Ian Black plays Chris Harrison and Natasha Leggero and Ben Stiller make appearances in it too along with many other great comedians. I watch it for free on Youtube and Pluto TV.
  10. Horrible makeup looks- she started out strong with a peachy gloss, cat liner and bronzer and ended the night looking like she ran into a heavy handed Mary Kay rep. Katie is kind of plain looking to me though and in some lights looks like an odd blend of Vanessa Bayer and Jon Lovitz.
  11. Blake is a hyper sexual fame-whore and would probably fall for a potted house plant if it got him a chance to be on TV- he'll blow her back out in bed, but will never be there for the long haul. I actually think that the men have more chemistry with each other than with Katie.
  12. Exactly! I'm sure Katie isn't abiding by the no masturbation rule and it is narcissistic of her to assume that it is so hard for the men to not work one out while dating her.
  13. Oh come on, Bachelorette producers- Blake did NOT come up with that reenactment of John Cusack in "Say Anything" with the boombox surprise for Katie- so ridiculous.
  14. I think that The Bachelorette should do away with the inadequately trained combat sport dates and instead make the men reenact the Top Gun volleyball scene with Kenny Loggins singing "Playing with the Boys."
  15. Michael's wife passed away from cancer two years ago. I also think that Michael needs some more time to go through the stages of grief and I think that he could greatly benefit from one on one therapy and a support group for single parents who are widows/widowers.
  16. All they are missing is a game of twister and teeth retainers.
  17. I also thought that the date with Andrew was very weird and uncomfortable; all of the dates make me, as a jaded spinster- laugh out loud because they are so unrealistic and thought up by some bubbly producer or set assistant. I want real dates: eating a meal at Denny's or going to Safeway to buy trash bags and a rotisserie chicken, not this flowery bullshit!
  18. hahaha great description of both of them 😆! In addition to Hunter, I also find Tre to be very average looking and I don't know why she gave the last rose to Tre rather than the super hot/smart Andrew M. Blake's head is shaped like a peanut M & M, but he's perfect for Katie since they're both impulsive, self absorbed, hyper sexual and they both overuse the word "like" in conversation. I don't think Hunter will go far in this and his hideous chest tattoos add to my zero attraction to him.
  19. Oh definitely! Hunter is in desperate need of Mucinex and is one casting call away from being a Geico commercial caveman. When I saw that she kept Hunter and sent the stunningly gorgeous, smart and way too good for her Andrew M home, I was so disappointed in her decision making- there goes my Bachelorette contestant crush. I don't even think Katie is really looking for a husband, she's just looking for mind blowing sex- they should've put her on Bachelor in Paradise instead.
  20. I think the three of them probably came up with the harsh phrasing of the Thomas rejection speech while eating Chex mix and Capri Sun juice boxes during a secret slumber party the night before.
  21. I noticed the possible drunkenness in Tayshia and Kaitlyn too! The pursed lips and wide glossy eyes with the head nodding were definite tip offs. Katie is definitely immature and impulsive- chasing instant sexual attraction and passion over good character and thoughtfulness in guys. Fame whore Blake made it through after a 5 minute interaction while great guys were eliminated this week- that speaks volumes about Katie's decision making. Frankly, I look at and listen to intelligent, well spoken and handsome guys like Andrew M and Mike P and that Great Gatsby guy and think they are way out of her league in so many ways- I actually hope that she doesn't pick them so that they can find a more suitable girlfriend in the real world.
  22. Chris definitely brought a calming neutrality to this franchise and I feel like the gaggle of gal pals vibe from Tayshia and Kaitlyn is too much ditsy/overly emotional interference for me. How can Katie make the right decisions if the cohosts say, "Yeah, he was so great" or "I feel like crying with you"? I wonder if they're only going to be hosts one season or if they will be the assistants to The Bachelor. I liked Chris Harrison's hosting a lot. I think that Thomas had ulterior motives, but I think a lot of the guys subconsciously might want to build their brands or be open to dating other women. I thought about it, and I think that the men were most threatened by the fact that Katie felt the most sexually/visually attracted to Thomas. The men used his honest statements of wanting to build his platform/bachelor potential as the scapegoat to have him eliminated ASAP. Katie should have taken him aside to say those things- she wanted to come off as empowered, but it just came off as really hotheaded and confrontational. I'm not a big fan of Katie, I don't find her funny or captivating in personality- but I watch the show for the hot guys, so I'll have to grin and bear it for now.
  23. Based on the previews for next week there are going to be scantily clad men in tiny wrestling singlets on a group date. Last Bachelorette season, there were men in speedos and jockstraps- one of the producers is definitely projecting their kinks onto these group dates and I AM HERE FOR IT! 😆💯💓
  24. Great point! The Bachelor in Paradise has tons of single women on it to choose from and getting on the Bachelorette is pretty much the only way to get onto any spin off shows. I think that guys also go on this show to elevate their status/attractiveness to women in their hometowns once they get eliminated and return home. I've read on other forums that some of these former Bachelorette contestants turn into sleazy players with women after being on this show.
  25. I totally agree! Katie was billed as this far from basic, outrageously funny girl and she's missing the mark for me on those fronts. I don't understand why some of these guys are so bowled over by her.
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