Muffyn

I, for one, am glad that manbun kept his clothes on rather than stripping done to expose all of his tattoos. Figuratively clotheless? Yes. Literally clothesless; there is not enough brain bleach in the world. I LOL'd at the tattoos. Really? "Wolf I am". He really outdid himself with these. He so expected people to be impressed. The editors get major kudos for the reaction shots to ManBun's ramblings. For the cocktail, this could only work if it was in a pitcher on a tray on the station. Pulling it out from under the podium did make it look like the emergency urine jug. Can't get to the restroom? Use this jug! In RW lunch, Isaac went out of his way to stay upbeat and positive while both women in his team gave him attitude. He won Karen over by doing an excellent job. He expedited well and he created two good dishes. He was a strong team player who focused on the entire team's success. Marjorie did OK as FOH. They loved her bread, hated her dessert. She seems like a damn good cook, but she can come off very sour.

Triumph the insult comic dog is NOT funny. Not funny. I switched channels rather than waste brain cells on this BS. What a waste.

The devil entered me . . . on the way out, he wiped his feet on the devil's bathmat. As always, I'll let myself out.

They are dying their hair to match the school colors. I don't mind this commercial. then again, I know many people of many ages with hair dyed interesting colors.

I'll see if I can help with the logic: knees - the devil's doorknobs - do not show, leads to lust in the heart and the loins. Woman giving birth, potentially on a toilet - show it all in detail, god's blessing. Feet - a-okay; wear flip flops regardless of the event, no concerns about old pedophiles with foot fetishes, such things don't exist in the Duggar hive mind. A woman in loose long pants completely covering her - heathen! Whore! Devil's bathmat! Ben's personal love letter, something almost everyone would see as private correspondence to be held dear (regardless of how sappy it is) - share it with the world. Lord it over your sisters and others that your man loves you so much that he has written this sodden prose. College degree - do not show. Oh wait, there's no chance of that. Don't get one. You might be exposed to new ideas. Clown college may be an exception because Jesus. Finally, your countenance - show it at all times, take plenty of photos to share with everyone everywhere ever. The skin on your countenance - do not show. Keep it heavily covered by gallons of makeup. Put on so much eye makeup you can barely open your eyes. Of course, if this makes sense to you, we may need to get you some help.

Maybe they thought Josh would see the photo or this is an old photo from before he was in Jesus jail and he was supposed to stop by. I'll let myself out.

Stay classy, San Diego.

I was at Minneapolis-St. Paul airport early this morning. There was a sign listing things you need to put in separate bins - CPAP, laptops . . . . The guy next to me in line who was almost as tired as I was (we both almost walked right into the ropes separating the lines) looked at the sign in the distance and asked, "Does that say crap in a bin?" I showed I was awake by responding, "They take security very seriously here. Did you bring a stool sample?"

I have a friend who is a professional actor. She often goes to focus groups. It's a little extra money and a way to get her face seen. The funny thing is when she's broke she'll be anyone they want her to be. To date I know she has been a homemaker, a mother of three, an architect, a designer, from the midwest, west, east and south US; she supposedly often goes to spas, stays in hotels, travels to foreign countries, is always home/never travels, drives a foreign/domestic car, never drives, etc. We always joke about her using her acting skills to be in focus groups. Another friend was in a local car dealership ad based on just what you said. It was exciting in a way because he is a transman and Asian, so he helped add diversity to the ad. His statement was blandly positive. He fit the mold beautifully for "real people." I used to participate in focus groups. When I would get bored I would start swaying peoples' opinions for fun. Yes, I'm that jerk. Finally a friend did a focus group on cheese. There were a lot of the types of people you describe. Everyone was trying to one up the other people with their deep, meaningful, expressive comments about cheese and cheese packaging. It went on for several hours. My friend reached her patience limit and screamed, "It's cheese, people! Cheese! Jesus Christ! What is wrong with you? Why do you care so fucking much about cheese?" That ended the session. So, Chevy can show us their real people willing to say incredibly stupid things about a Malibu. Not going to make me want to buy one. And, having rented one, definitely not buying one.

Josh in the girl's bedroom - that would be a dream come true for him. He might see knees. Heck, he's so sly, think of what he could get up to. Oh wait, don't. Don't think about it. No really. It will destroy your soul.

Maybe the bears cover their chairs in underwear. They get skid marks when their poop laden fur hits the seat. (Yes, I did make myself throw up a little. You're welcome for the imagery.)

My brother is in the hospital. My mother, aunt and I were all visiting him at the same time (I gave my aunt a ride). We were watching the weather channel and saw the snow. My mother starts in on this very sweet story about how she used to bundle up the four of us in our snowsuits and send us outside to play. We would come in when we would get too cold and wet. She would throw our wet clothes into the dryer and make us hot chocolate. When we and our clothes were dry, we would clamber to go back outside, so she would bundle us up again and send us out. Sounds sweet, doesn’t it? Four little kids frolicking in the snow while their loving mother looks on with pride, prepared to care for their needs. The problem is this never happened. My mother treated us terribly. She is now trying to create memories of a happy childhood that never existed. I get points, I guess, for not calling her a liar and storming out. There is not enough “om” in the world for dealing with my family.

The rental car I picked up today is a Chevy Malibu. I don't care how much technology it has. It is uncomfortable and it drives like it's weighted down with bricks. I still judge a car on the basics before I look for the fancy extras, So, if it feels like someone is jabbing me in the hip with a metal pole, all of the wifi friendly, shiny new touch screens, teen driver technology in the world will not make me want to buy the car.

If women marry their fathers, Jessa matched JB perfectly when it comes to intelligence. We can also add charm and ability to understand how others react to him. Now I wonder if Bin also has horrible breath?

Dr. Now encourages his patients to eat 3 small meals a day with no snacks. This may be because many of them have said they eat most of the day, constantly "snacking" or that it is easier for them to go over the 1200 calorie plan if they start eating extras. Or it could be that when he hears snacks, he thinks Cheesy Poofs and donuts. However, there are certainly plenty of healthy snacks available.

Have you ever seen the anti-masturbation video for the deaf? The sign for masturbation makes it funny. It's like they keep demonstrating a hand job. Hopefully the Duggars didn't take this as a clue for creating a gesture for adultery.

Years ago California had a series of brown outs to conserve energy. I lived in Oakland a few blocks from the courthouse. Ends up since there was a jail in the building and we were on the same grid, we had no brown outs. If power failed, an emergency override kicked in. Didn't want the jail cells popping open or the badge driven door locks failing. Before that I worked for the power company. During the big quake, my house was one of the first to have the gas inspectors come out. They checked out whole block and had the gas back on for everyone. They also dropped off a few generators for us to share as needed. The neighbors thought I was incredibly important. I was an admin asst in employee assistance. I was high on the list to get help because there was the thought they could call us in to help counsel employees in a disaster. They never did. Since we had power, we set up some outside lights and had a barbecue with our neighbors. Gave generators to the people who needed them most. We built some serious good will and finally met the people on our block. So it really helps to have the right neighbors in an emergency.

I have a full set of Chick Tracts, you know, just for fun. After all, who doesn't enjoy poorly drawn comics of hell and damnation? I've never felt the need to leave them in churches.

In Jason’s dish it seemed like the fish was poached well, but that was the only positive. There was nothing interesting or unique to the plating and overall the food was bland. It was also boring – poached fish with some vegetables. Kwame’s dish had some good flavors but did not come together at all and the pudding was bad. He did try something new. Unfortunately it did not work. Blais: “Bold choice to cook a lobster tail under the duress of competition, and I think you did that.” Um, I think he missed the word “well.” Clearly it was cooked. The cheftestant gave him a funny look when he said “Thank,” kind of like yeah dude I cooked it. Did you have feedback on that? It was an odd comment for the editors to keep. I kind of like Marjorie. She seems somewhat socially uncomfortable. I do think she gives non-finessed answers to the producers’ questions in the THs. Her food looks mighty tasty. Michael V is a good-looking man. Somehow in the kitchen that was lost. Did that cameraperson hate him? They kept filming him from a weird angle.

Brings to mind one of my favorite lines from an SNL sketch, "I am a barfly, your honor." Lust in the heart is a sin. It's the same as actually having sex with someone. Then again, in the Duggar all sins are equal world so are missing the trash can and not picking it up and murder. You're always a retched sinner and you can always be forgiven.

Jessica Williams is a national treasure. That is all. Oh wait, there's one more thing. Apparently she's African American or Black or Negro. I need a GIF of her reaction at that moment. The ignorance runs deep in Whitesboro.

I quickly hit a point yesterday where I was tired of the coverage of Palin's ramblings. I hate that she gets any coverage at all. Often the media giving these loons a platform adds to their popularity. And I was having a really terrible day, so nothing was making me laugh. Then Stephen did his Sarah Palin inspired speech. I scared the cats I was laughing so hard. I want a transcript of that. The nonsensical rhyming, the meaningless catch phrases - gold, Jerry, gold!

To paraphrase Gomez Addams: "I have seen evil! I have seen horror! I have seen the unholy maggots which feast in the dark recesses of the human soul! I have seen all this, officer. But until today, I had never seen... " anything as horrifying as the girls's performance of this song. The song is so terrifying that I can't laugh at the West Wing parody. Someone make it stop.

Chad and his family did seem very sweet. While we had the big "I need to apologize to my wife" scene that was definitely staged for the cameras, what meant more to me was how he always thanked them for what they did for him. Whenever his daughter or wife brought him something, he would thank them. When his wife made dinner, he made sure to tell her how good it was. To me that shows a person who is appreciative of what he has. I was not as taken with Dr. Now's response to Chad admitting he hadn't been taking his medicine. Dr. Now's "Chad is just doing what he wants to do" response was off base. Chad was having trouble affording the medication and he did not realize the doctor could possibly help. Many people are in that situation. As we saw, Chad has a healthy level of pride - he wants to take care of himself and his family. It can be hard to admit that you cannot afford something as important as medicine. Also, the criticality of this medicine may not have been expressed to him.

That poor child. What if he gets JB's looks and Bin's intelligence? He's doomed.