Melgaypet

NOW, NOW YOU CARE ABOUT THAT WHAT ABOUT AJ YOU HYPOCRITICAL DELUDED WENCH I'm sorry, my head just exploded. Gimme a minute to grow a new one.

I love Bill. Not because he's a good guy, he's a terrible guy. Not because I root for him to win, he doesn't deserve to win. But a soap always needs a character that's bad without being Capital-E Evil. The actor has great charisma and presence. And Bill is a living testament to the hypocrisy of good characters. Anita and Vernon dislike Bill - and for good reason - but they were quite willing to utilize his fixer skills with Martin's Big Secret, weren't they? So that's messy. Which is good. And I still expect hot Bill/Dani sex.

Count me in on thinking it would've worked better for Martin to be the youngest Dupree child and not the oldest grandchild. Not only would that work a bit better for Martin and what's going on with him, but I think the Kat & Eva rivalry - which I think might be my favorite story going right now - would have that much extra juice if Kat was the spoiled only child of Ted & Nicole.

Call me ruthless, but when I read this I said (aloud, to my living room) "she SHOULD have been, that would be awesome!" Injuring (or killing, I'd go for it, kill the kid off) her little sister would be a far harsher and more dramatic consequence for Kristina than Ric and Elizabeth.

Do we know what's behind Ava's money troubles? I swear, I retain so little of this show... Anyway, I wish it was Kristina, calling on her Cassadine heritage, that was responsible. That might be a decent revenge scheme that would have Kristina being competent and not...this. Remember how Stefan quietly maneuvered the hospital into a dire financial situation before coming in to "save" it? Actually, some of y'all might not, that was nearly 30 years ago. That I can retain. Anyway, something like that. Can Lucky, Elizabeth, and Lucas go around solving mysteries all the time? Triple L Detective Agency! Not that I want Elizabeth and Lucas to stop being medical professionals, but Dick Van Dyke could handle both!

This is so dumb. I feel like I can say that about so much of this show (hi, Sasha!, hi Portia!), but still THIS IS SO DUMB. If Joss had showed any aptitude for languages, psychology, acting...but there's nothing. She is a cookie-cutter spoiled rich white girl. The only thing vaguely interesting about her is not her - it's her ties, or rather her family ties to shady figures. I think I said once that if I were so unfortunate as to be tasked with writing this Girl Spy story, I would make the WSB's actions a convoluted scheme to get Jason under their thumb. But, really, why should the WSB care about Jason, a hitman for a small-time mobster in upstate New York? I was forgetting international terrorist/arms dealer(?)/League of Evil member Jerry Jacks. (Is he dead? No matter, death means nothing.) He makes sense as a WSB target. It would make far more sense that the WSB would try recruiting his niece.

The Soap Killer! Will he destroy GH? He didn't manage it with DAYS. (I like Daniel Cosgrove a lot.)

I'm sorry, are we supposed to care about Noted Bigot Natalia overcoming her Notable Bigotry, again, some more? That'll teach me to be excited about a new queer character

Good job, show! Sasha is a character who I have never cared about and whose ongoing presence on this show has been baffling, but I've never actually disliked her. But knock her up with Michaelspawn, having Aging Saint Jason play daddy for literally no reason and have her get self-righteous with her babydaddy's wife (and, no, it doesn't matter here that I don't like Willow either and she is a cheater herself), and you have whipped up a recipe for actual hatred! She was a non-entity, now she actively sucks! You never fail to fail, General Hospital!

I like Chris McKenna, but this is not working.

The invisible teenagers irritate me the more I think about them. You'd think Glasses wanting to go back to work would be a thing that happened when the kids became school-aged. They should be younger. It would make more sense and it wouldn't weirdly age everyone up. I mean, imagine some 16/17 year-old - probably played by a 24 year-old - calling Daphneé Duplaix "Grandma." And, yes, I know that happens on soaps. But because of SORAS, this is just...dumb.

I think Behind the Gates has started the wheels turning. How would I begin OLTL's third life? I think the inciting incident would be Clint's death. (In fact, I think the opening shot would be Viki reading the obit in The Banner) The family all gathers for the funeral. And then comes the will reading (kinda like with Asa, but not months in between.) Nothing too ridiculous - trust funds and BE shares, plus some personal items; but the plot-relevant bit is that all his children and grown grandchildren have a spot on the BE board - as does his widow, Kim! (I picture Amanda Setton, I can't help it, but since chemistry with Jerry vorDorn is sadly no longer a requirement, it shouldn't be too hard to recast.) Cord and Tina show up, mostly to make it clear they're still together. Tina and Viki have scenes. Cord will take care of international BE business, i.e. they're not sticking around. Sarah also attends the funeral, but she's working in the music industry out of town, so ditto. Jessica and Joey both come back as well. Jessica thrills Viki with the news that she and her family (you bet your ass she and Brody are married and raising Bree and Ryder) are moving back and Jessica wants to work at The Banner. Bree is a sullen teenager and Ryder is a cute pre-teen kid. Joey...okay, like so many OLTL writers I'm not sure what I want to do with Joey yet, so he might just be visiting as well. Kevin is living in Llanview, married to Rachel, we've talked about this before. Natalie is around! She's raising Liam on her own and getting back into BE helps re-energize her, especially since she'll be clashing with Kim a lot. Kim is sad about Clint and she goes out drinking and has a ONS with some handsome blonde guy. She tells him her name is Aubrey, he tells her his name is James. But comes the will-reading and "James" shows up and he is CJ Roberts! So Natalie, Kevin, CJ and Kim will be running BE. Kevin doesn't trust Kim and feels he's the one who should be in charge, Natalie and Kim hate each other, CJ Roberts is the latest Buchanan to want to prove himself and he and Kim have romantic feelings...I think there's plenty of drama there. (Also, kudos to @TeeVee329, I think he was the first one to mention CJ and Kim being sort of Cord and Tina: The Next Generation, and that's stuck in the back of my mind ever since.) I have non-Buchanan ideas, too, but that is what I would focus on if I were bringing the show back. But: Blair is running The Sun. I don't know what happened to Todd, but he's not around. Dorian is running for mayor again. (ETA: not quite sure who she's running against - maybe Hank? I would like to build up the Gannons.) Cassie is her mother's campaign manager and having a secret relationship with RJ! RJ has opened a new club and maybe has his fingers in some shady business. Jamie is in town. She's part of the college crowd with Jack and Zane. Zane is non-binary. Bo is retired from the LPD. Nora...I don't know. I really like the thought of her as a judge, but I don't know how that works for story. Maybe she teaches law at the university. Matthew...should probably be mixed up with BE as well. Fish and Kyle are here! Fish is probably Chief of Detectives, but not the commissioner - I'd want a new character for that, ideally a woman. Kyle is a doctor. Fish might be investigating RJ's new club and be tempted by a sexy musician working there.

They really are overselling Ashley and it's just not necessary. She's likable enough and we saw the elevator birth, we know she handled it well. Soap fans (well, everyone, really) don't want to be told how to feel about someone, as if we're too stupid to make up our own minds.

What's up with Chelsea? A threesome? Some kind of sex work? Cocaine? She seemed to be flicking something off her nose when the 4 in the booth were watching her. I'm pretty sure we've seen her leave the bar with that same guy before. I have no words for Martin. My poor Glasses needs to get a lot more angry than he is. Bill is traumatized by the Gunslinger Dani? Not the way I thought they would go, and I mean that in a good way. ETA: Also! Maybe Eva should consider, I don’t know, LOCKING THE DOOR when doing shady shit?

I agree. Making Eva not Ted's after all, would render this whole story pointless. At the very least, the drama bomb has to drop. I think Leslie and Ted had a one-night stand that Leslie has built up in her mind or she went stalker-nuts and was institutionalized or something. I don't think Ted ever knew he had another kid. Kat is quite the snobby bitch, and yet she's not wrong. If this show runs for a long time, I see an old-school rivalry between Kat and Eva. So Doug has a gambling addiction. And Vanessa is hot for her trainer, who, I'm sorry, isn't that hot? I can be shallow. I guess they don't have an open marriage after all, which is a shame, because that would be new for a soap. (Though OLTL had one during it's abortive revival.) Running for President? Really? It couldn't be governor or mayor of DC or something less ridiculous? A presidential campaign does not mesh with a daytime soap.