Melgaypet

I don't understand what the hell they're even doing with with Natalia. Why is she here? Why is this the character they think we need to invest in? So Blaze, who had the actual LGBTQ romance with a legacy character, was in fact a total nothing character meant only to introduce Noted Bigot Natalia, who we're actually supposed to care about. I generally like Eva LaRue, but fuck that. This bi woman is not feeling the warm fuzzies, GH.

FOR FUCK'S SAKE What ever happened to a new actor showing up and a voice-over saying, "The role of Michael Corinthos will now be played by Blahbiddy McBlah"?

Why anyone but Papa Quasimodo wants the darling little abomination is a mystery to me. I will continue to reject her very existence. As for police commissioner, if I were in the unenviable position of writing this show, I would have Laura bring in someone completely new to shake things up. Wait, no, that is a lie. In this alternate world where I can do what I want, Laura would bring in Taggert to be commish. They would also end up in a romance. Scandale! (Sorry, Kevin.) Mac has been commissioner a hundred times and for a hundred years. That's a dead end for him. I don't know what I'd have him do instead. Maybe just retire to being the paterfamilias of his little corner of the canvas. (I have a lot of affection for Mac, I do. But I've never found him as a character to be terribly compelling and I don't think he really fits as a big player anymore.) Sonny's Son is a non-starter as commissioner and as for Lucky...well, I never really liked him being a cop. Let him be WSB or a PI or something a little more free-wheeling.

As far as I can remember, Emma previously had no personality whatsoever beyond "blandly sweet." I have no objection to a spikier version - god knows this show could use more of that - but I don't have any faith in this regime. They can't write their existing characters with any nuance or bite, I don't imagine they'll do any better with what is essentially a new character.

I know Genie isn't really Jonathan's mother, but she has known him since he was, what, ten years old? Ma'am, drag him by the ear to a shower or at least a hair stylist's sink. I just deleted like three paragraphs of rambling word vomit that said the same thing as this. I couldn't agree more.

I think Alexa Havins has the chops to play Lulu, but I admit I'm feeling underwhelmed by Lulu's return. I can't decide if I think she's underreacting or overreacting to all the changes that have happened during her coma. And her going on about that lab-created monstrosity doesn't help. Let her stay gone with Valentin, Lu! This is a win!

Aw, man. Not another one. I don't know that Carlo is the best soap villain - I'm terrible at that kind of ranking - but he's Top Five, easy.

I wish this show would stop trying to make Sasha happen. Her string of tragedies didn't make me care, near-incest didn't make me care, knocking her up with Michael's spawn sure as hell isn't going to make me care. At this point, it's just awkward and embarrassing.

Ryan Lavery is enough reason to hate Drew, frankly. I do feel just a tiny bit sorry for Cameron Matheson, who seems like a charming and likable guy IRL, but I'm sorry, my dude, seeing your face onscreen you're immediately classified under D for Douche. I will say there have been times when there was potential to not hate Drew. Remember the beard? The beard worked.

Is Grieving Dante the hottest Dante?

I get you. And I do think an emotional affair is as bad or worse than just some one-night stand or the like. But I don't think the show agrees. It's not just this couple or even this show (I'm reminded of OLTL's Rex & Gigi, for reasons I probably shouldn't go into here), but it just feels like soap women are held to a different standard of sexual purity than men. Michael is allowed to act out sexually and I suspect Willow will end up shouldering some of the blame for his cheating, but we can't let her get too down and dirty herself or Michael would look weak for ever taking her back (admittedly that's speculation on my part, but I'm pretty confident the show considers them a root-for couple and won't split them permanently). I don't know, I might be reading too much into a lazy story or making assumptions about the writers' thinking, but the whole vibe of it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Since Willow cheated on her previous husband with Michael, I have less than no sympathy for him. Also, I don't like Drew or Willow as characters, but there's something weirdly misogynistic about this. Like, she's in the wrong but didn't actually sleep with Drew so she's not really a [insert Sonny Corinthos language here), so it's acceptable for Michael to eventually reconcile with her, and he actually slept with Sasha, but he's a man and thought he'd been betrayed, what do you expect he and his penis to do? Just let Drew and Willow fuck, Jesus.

Co-sign. As a writer ugh how fucking pretentious. As a person who likes to write and think about writing, I have to ask, what does Gio want? Because that's what really defines a character - their desires, their goals. And it's not just Gio who is lacking here. So many characters on this show are just there, floating around the canvas, existing. Say what you want about Molly - and I could say plenty, Molly is infuriating - but revenge against Kristina is a driving want. It falls apart because what's driving that - the loss of the baby - never felt real. It never felt like she really wanted a baby, no matter how often the scripts said so. The writers understand that conflict drives story but they don't understand that conflict arises from character, not plot. Yes, you put the characters in a plot situation, but then the characters react to it and there's your story.

I get you, dubbel zout, but I always thought Ethan being a Holly/Robert kid made so much more sense storytelling-wise than him being Luke's. But when was the last time a GH regime actually cared about storytelling? Y'know, Cutter and Kim being siblings and children of Alex also came out of nowhere and didn't make a lot of sense if you thought about it, but it wasn't nearly as aggravating. I wonder if it was because I liked both those characters, while Cody and Sasha are both walking, talking piles of nothing? I don't know

It's so irritating. And lazy, honestly. If you simply can't resist dropping an Easter egg, go deeper. Say Holly was palling around with Heinrich Kaiser. That approaches being clever.