bilgistic

It's Lori's smirky-screwy face when she says, "And for that reason, I'm out," that makes me want to throw something at her through the TV screen. Men don't mean-girl their way out of deals. Just say you're out and don't make a prissy face. I didn't like the way that dog flew around through the air. I get that he's trained, but that looked really unsafe. I want one of those man-packs. I can never find bags that are utilitarian enough. Purses are too "purse-y" and messenger bags are too bottom heavy and usually too big. Hated the wife in the last segment. "I was lonely running the business from home alone while my husband was in active duty." BARF. I'm not sure why the Sharks were falling all over themselves for that bullet bottle opener. It's ultimately Crap That Ends Up in Your Kitchen Junk Drawer, and there's already plenty of that in stores. I said to the TV that you can get that kind of dog for free. Even my two (pound- and coworker-acquired) cats freak out a little at the doorbell. They don't bother getting up, though.

There are a couple of commercials for Grand Marnier that I've seen online. Some stupid white hipster guy no older than, say, 32, with a stupid wide mohawk and a stupid Dwight Schrute short-sleeve shirt and stupid tie gets onstage, takes over the microphone and starts beatboxing while the band plays. One commercial has a salsa band and the other is a jazz(?) band. In both commercials, the band gets all into it and the audience is smiling and dancing along. The guy is a total douchecanoe and in real life, the band would push him offstage. I hate that guy so much. It doesn't help that the commercial plays at every single break in whatever I'm watching online. Oh, god, there are three commercials. Here's the "country" one: http://youtu.be/VkwuFjPtJJs Here's the salsa commercial. I do like the "WTF?" look one bandmember gives the jackass. I'm sorry.

There was no real-life blue meth before Breaking Bad "introduced" it, so said Vince Gilligan.

I'll keep your seat warm, as I've already voiced my opinion about foreign charities.I hate socks, and all I could think when the fashion gurus at Cosmo were handling the socks was if they liked the cheap texture, since they are made of acrylic (so the GodSockers said in their initial pitch). Think of the sweat and stink--socks should be made of natural fibers. Feet need to breathe! (Which is why I hate socks--they are foot prison.)

Re: the Rob Lowe discussion--I'm 40, and the business with him and the underaged girl (wasn't there a video?) is still the first thing I think about when I see him in something. It obviously wasn't a life-ruining thing for him to have done, and would probably be even less so today, and it doesn't make me specifically not watch something he's he's in, because I think he's been remorseful and changed, unlike, say, R. Kelly.

Taking this to the Small Talk thread...

I really, really don't understand the world. Michelle has had two men betrothed to her in far, far less time than I've had...anything with anyone. I'm not nearly as mean as her.

And otherwise wearing Madonna's wardrobe from 1984.

Grandma Langston is a Langston by birth. Her sons are Henry (I think that's his name--Lucille's husband/Jacob's dad/Red from That 70's Show) and the sheriff. Her father, then maybe husband(?), then Henry ran the factory, but shut it down sometime after Jacob died.

Someone on the TWoP boards called them GodSocks, and I've only ever thought of them that way since. I very recently saw a woman in my building at work wearing socks that were higher than her knee-high boots, and it made me wonder when we were going to get an update about the holiest of socks.I always get kind of cheesed when some do-gooder goes to another country to fix something, as if we don't have hunger, homelessness, orphans and poor health within our own borders. I love me some bearded dudes. I can't stand Lori and her lopsided hair, so if she doesn't like "beardsmen", that's more for me.

I finally saw the Viagra Intimidation Lady (as I am calling her) commercial last week, with her big face on my small TV. She reminds me of Samantha from Sex and the City, only with a random British accent, I guess because that's supposed to be hotter? She scares me, but I'm a heterosexual female. I don't know how I would feel if I were a flaccid penis attached to a heterosexual male, but I suspect her scolding me wouldn't help matters.

Ew. I've only ever seen the groom do it, and usually a big production is made of it (he puts his head under her dress, hurr hurr!), which always turned my stomach in a this-isn't-something-the-public-should-see and what-happened-to-the-feminist-movement sort of way. Weddings just make me uncomfortable. Good thing I don't go to many.

Wowsers. I'm an at least eighth-generation NC native and have never heard of that. Couples around here typically do gift registries at department stores. They might quietly be given some cash in an envelope at the reception, or it might be left on the gift table, but I'm fairly sure asking for money outright is considered rude. But then, I'm 40 and can count on both hands how many weddings I've attended in my life. None of them were my own. (Thank god.)

starri, what's a Dollar Dance? (I mean, besides what one can see at the Uptown Cabaret, the "classy" strip joint in town.)

I also live in Charlotte. ABC aired the show tonight instead. I have no idea why.

The scariest thing I've ever seen on this show is George's vest.

This show made me glad I'm single. It exhausted me.

I'm an eighth-generation North Carolinian and was raised Southern Baptist. I love my family and heritage (while I'm not religious), but I'm a staunch feminist, and shit like The Caddy "Girls" raises my hackles something fierce. Diff'rent strokes. Golf pun.

A resounding yes to all of this. And the fact that this mess is packaged as wholesome is even creepier. What, your kid goes with dad on his weekend and they high-five each other the whole time? There are lawsuits galore from Hooters "girls", so don't stand there and tell me that this is a good idea, lady. It smacked of an escort service. At Myrtle Beach, which is about the saddest place one could get an escort.

I'm not sure what to think about anything now because the only thing I've ever thought I would wear in the history of this show was Amanda's print dress. Of course, it would need to have a much less plunging V-neck because I have large breasts, unlike her model, aaaaand, I would probably look like an "ethnic" (TM Nina) parade float in it because I'm nowhere near model size. Sean, stop making uniforms for communist China factory workers.

Stop trying to make Pam happen, Show!

You have just described every show on premium cable.

Yes. I'm always amused at how much sex is on cable because, really? Who has the time and energy? I have even less sympathy for the male lead (not that I have any for him in the first place) because he and his wife still seem to have a healthy sex life--we were shown just how active they are despite all those damn kids, which, well, they had to have sex to get.The female lead and her husband are still "active", too, but something's off there. I think that showrunners think they have to depict x amount of sex at y level of graphicness to titillate viewers, or to fill some imaginary coffer. It's not why I watch a show. If I cared about that, there are resources online I could use.

My college freshman-year roommate's wedding reception (like, five minutes after graduation) was in her hometown church's fellowship hall. We weren't that close, but she was the first of my acquaintances to marry, so I figured, what the hell. They served crockpot meatballs and pigs-in-blankets. (It was kind of country--rural Piedmont Triad NC.) I don't remember the cake. Styrofoam would've been right up their alley, though.

I proactively had my tubes tied at age 29, and I understand completely. Those kids were unholy terrors. And there were FOUR of them. At one point, I was literally counting, because there were so many.I live in a city with lots of very fertile people, and I literally shudder when I see a mother with a kid under five, a toddler in a stroller and one on the way. It's not at all uncommon here, and I just want to scream, "We don't need that many of you!!"