CletusMusashi

Are the guts from one walker really enough to poison the whole river? 'Cause, we've seen lots of them get killed in the water before. Plus, is Alpha down with this plan? And if so, why? Was Lydia vaccinated against walker-gut cooties? That would... actually make as much sense as anything else on this show.

They probably sawed it down with Alpha's magic garrotte. Either that or Beta is so strong he pushes down trees, and can only be stopped by a precisely targeted nut-tap from Kindly Uncle Negan.

Well, yes we would. We would have whatever story they wrote for us. Bad guys are replaceable. And if they want them to be redeemable, they can write that story. But the Negan I saw last night wasn't even living in the same space/time continuum as the older one. He seemed very sincerely shocked and offended by the idea that he would ever harm Coral. Which... having watched every episode of this show... I can say with one hundred per cent certainty is blatantly a load of crap. But, do the writers know that it is? Which episode moments do they consider canon and which ones do they not? And how many bong hits/ twitter humps/ and/or random shiny objects will it take for them to completely change their minds anyway? I understand your core point that if the show keeps JDM on then they will still have to write for him sometimes. But... maybe write better? "Golly gee, Uncle Negan, I used to nut-tap myself to sleep every night, whistling the song about how you chopped off Coral's arm while surfing over a zombie shark in your zombie-shark-jumping-surfing-pants!" "Yeah, listen, kid. None of the stories you've heard of me are anything I'm proud of..." etc, etc, etc, might sound a little bit more convincing than "How dare you insinuate such a thing! Coral was like a son to me, and I would never under any circumstances threaten him!" I don't know if Negan knows he's lying, and it is partially because I don't know if the writing staff know he's lying. Kind of hard to discuss a character with a problematic past, if the people writing those discussions are undecided about what that past actually was.

What's Negan's favorite Christmas story? The Nut-Tapper!

For the first part of the conversation, Little Redshirt Nut-Tappinghood probably thought Negan was explaining how to crack acorn shells or something. "Hey, wow, this could be a useful survival tip. Wait, he's talking about what? And he's still going on about it five minutes later? Yeah, this guy is not normal. Hey, did he just call Mom a slut? As soon as this weirdo goes off to get firewood or something I'm gonna tell her about all this. Maybe we can run off with that nice normal younger guy he had the falling-out with."

The biggest reason that we know the unfortunate implications were unintentional is that Chris Hardwick wasn't jumping around on the couch asking everybody if Coolest Guy In the World Negan being a child molester was a deal breaker for them or not. They're proud of everything they do, so if they're not bragging about it they somehow have no fucking idea. Did you ever have a schoolteacher who'd apparently gone into the profession not understanding the concept that being named Mr. Wienerschitz or something was going to make students laugh hysterically and mock him all day? That level of cluelessness is the closest comparison I can make to this show's writing room.

Come to think of it, Negan was also pretty excited to stick his finger into Coral's eye socket. I didn't read as much into it then as I do now, but... yikes. I don't think Kirkman's childhood was quite normal. No matter how much candy those guys in the van gave him.

I did like Daryl telling Connie about Merle. Still not quite sure how he wrote "private property" on the notepad with like two or three taps of his pen, though. It looked like Norman halfassed that part, then realized his mistake and started writing more realistically for the rest of the conversation, and probably would have been fine with a reshoot, but everyone else was in too much of a hurry to get to the big "Tickle Fights with Uncle Negan" scene.

Well, yeah, because half the time shit only happens four times a season.

Negan was just way too interested in immediately teaching that boy how to finger each other's crotch areas. And the craziest thing is that I don't think the writers even realize how bad that looks. Because they are honestly just that bad at their jobs.

Yeah, Alphie... that spying idea you have? She's not really Aaon's type.

How did it even take this long for this kid to meet Negan? I mean, he never ran up to him for autographs during "tomato picking" furloughs?

Oooooh, big mistake, boy. You do not kill off the child that Negan is about to molest! And since he killed you for it, that means... he's good now or something? I give up.

OK, that was fun. Busting whisperers and breaking the purity of their cosplay schtick is awesome.

He was a child "something", all right.

yes, nothing creepy about this at all.

OK, Negan speech. I have time to come back and read comments again.

Of course his name's Brandon.

He's practically Bat-Mite.

Is this Robert Kirkman's son?

I wonder if we'll get a flashback of Li'l Savior's origin story, with his dad teaching him how to monologue at a goat.

Eugene formulated a bacterium that transforms all the sedimentary deposits in Daryl's hair into petroleum. Except with more syllables than that.

Dog really should take him to a groomer.

You lying fuckhole. Carl was only saved by Deus ex Tigra.

Dime Store Columbus, meet Wannabe Tallahassee.