CletusMusashi

Me too, when they show that relationship. Too often they completely take it for granted, and let Nolan run around for an hour punching everybody while Irisa makes tentacle porn. The reason the Tarrs (and Rafe,) are so good isn't just that the actors are great. Which they are. It's that their storylines tend to be smaller in scale, and therefore easier not only to understand, but to believe. People dealing with people, instead of with ancient Votan space magic that can apparently do anything the writers want it to. Except explain why, if this nanobot technology is so old, there weren't immortal Votans up the wazoo coming over on the arks.

Because if she kills the Tarrs the show becomes too boring to watch?

Do you ever have a hell of a time separating the actor from the part? Well, what if, instead of the Sunnydale character you know that actor by, one of their other roles had been stuffed into the same niche? How would it change things? Would Season 1 have gone differently if the Church of Aurelius were ruled by The Maestro? What if the Watcher's Council had installed Uther Pendragon as school librarian? What if the werewolf had turned out to be Chris Griffin? Here's an example: If Quark had been principal of Sunnydale, he would have been less actively belligerent toward the Slayer than Snyder, but would have still quite willingly worked for The Mayor. Instead of simply snarling at kids, he would have tried to instill them with a respect for their community's economy. You can't run around cutting school, because kids running around on the street all afternoon with obvious weapons lowers their families' property values. That type of argument. Since Quark was a lot smarter than Snyder, he might have been slightly more effective against the Scoobies. Perhaps enough to turn things in the Mayor's favor. You know, unless Buffy took one look at his bald lumpy head and little tiny mole teeth and immediately stabbed him to death... Anybody else have a cast member whose roles they'd like to shuffle?

Well-written story, I suppose, but all that extended bad CGI just bores the crap out of me.

Hey, whatever happened to Violet's house? Was it already paid off? 'Cause, if so, pretty much anybody could just move in there and support themself by selling old dildos on ebay. Should it be... Jason and Bridget? Willa and her newly adopted pug? Wade and Adelyn, because it's the last place anybody would expect them to elope to? Lafayete and James, since they got screwed out of the finale? Sarah Newmie, because, let's face it, if they want to do a ridiculous ending for her, that would qualify? Lettie Mae, for the same exact reason? The werepanthers? That half-fairy bellhop that Sookie met back in Season 1? Big John, simply to give him some reason to have been on the show at all? Or Andy and Holly's family, simply because everybody else on the show seems to keep getting nice big houses for free? Hell, maybe even Ginger.

It could have ended with Bill turning human and then getting life imprisonment for murder. Willa gets the hell out of Bon Temps. Since not everyone is looking for true love, right now, right the this second, for ever and ever and ever, she goes back to college and adopts a pug to keep her company. Bridget decides to hold off on having eight million babies and helps Jason through school instead. Hoyt and Jessica also enroll, but there is no more couple swapping. Wade is so traumatized by the Violet incident that he turns gay. Stepcest problem solved. And Sookie hooks up with... whatever the hell kind of monster they haven't used yet. Like a mummy or a Bigfoot or something.

Well, you know... it's very possible Bill was going to end up human. He was getting warmer, he was sending out humanlike brain waves, and quite honestly the virus wasn't really doing anything to him any more. He was in pain, sure, but losing your superhuman healing abiities means that every day aches and pains are going to build up. And it's not like he was in the habit of keeping aspirin or anything around. Wouldn't it be hilarious if Bill really was turning into Suckeh's perfect human Prince Charming, and he screwed it all up by being a whiny narcissistic emobitch?

Nolan gaining weight actually makes more sense than him not gaining weight. His life as Lawkeeper is actually no less violent than his life as scavenger was. What does he have as Lawkeeper, like one big fight an episode usually? And afterwards, he can relax. He doesn't have to go racing out of town like he used to.Plus, he has more lazy civilized options to amuse himself. Healthy, already-prepared foods are commonplace. As are all kinds of drinks. If he just wants to chill and listen to music while Irissa is busy, he can, because there's a radio station that plays a lot of his old favorites. When he was on the road, he often had to do his own mechanical repairs. And, he carried heavy objects in and out of the car by himself. And, if the vehicle got stuck in the mud, he dug it out with muscle power, probably while having to kick hellbugs to death. Now, he can get flunkies to handle the strenuous but boring jobs. He might still work out a lot. But building thicker abdominal muscles does not eliminate subcutaneous fat without dieting and/or massive cardio. As a big, strong middle-aged guy who suddenly finds himself not having to constantly flee for his life, climbing over fences and crawling through all kinds of terrain and whatnot, I think the change actually enhances the character.

I put Newmie's fate in the same category where I put the villain who, at the end of the film "Trading Places," was bound and gagged inside a gorilla suit, being shipped long distance with an actual gorilla, who had apparently found enough of a hole going through all relevant layers of clothing to sodomize him. If I actually think about it, the guy probably died of either asphyxiation or dehydration, while being continuously raped. A little bit over the top for a "funny punishment" ending in a rated PG comedy. But, ultimately, I don't really care enough to let it change my overall opinion of the movie. "Trading Places" is, for the most part, hilarious, and so I still end up liking it. "True Blood, Season 7," is, for the most part, abysmal, and no alternative resolution for Sarah was going to fix that. The stupidest aspect of it is that I can't see how she is kept... not only kept secret, but... kept, period. Security still looks to be nonexistent. Best guess I can offer is that the reason Eric kept all the Yakuza bodies was that he and/or Pam turned them into vampire minions. But... the Yakuza are a bunch of idiots! If they couldn't guard their investment during the day when they were human, why the hell would they be better it now? "Hey, I hear someone downstairs stealing her!" "Quick! Let's start shopping online for a place that has overnight delivery on giant stake machines!" "Right now?" "Well, obviously not right now. We still have to finish Shirtless Poker Day, right?" The most intelligent voice of reason on the staff is probably Ginger, chain-slapping them all and saying "Quiet, ya mooks! The boss hired you guys to be Yakuzas. So start Yakuzing!"

Here are my predictions for Season 5: Wolves have antibacterial saliva and can feed other canines who are ill by vomiting up raw meat for them. So, obviously, Nymeria will find The Hound and bring him back to health. There will still be Thenn running around south of the wall. They will go to the only inn in Westeros, massacre all the guests, and eat Hot Pie for dessert. Sansa will continue to grow taller, and eventually do battle in King's Landing against The Mountain. After hacking him to death with an axe, she will retire to the North, accompanied only by her giant blue ox. Varys will go undercover as an organ grinder with an enormous twirly mustache, complete with a (drunk, sarcastic, lecherous, and very badly disguised) trained monkey named Poopio. Ser Pounce will betray Tommen by leaving a dead rodent in his bed, which Tommen of course mistakes for the return of Undead Joffrey, sending the kingdom into an insane panic. It is, of course, all part of Littlefinger's plan. Osha will return to Bran, because she senses from the whispering of the trees that he is in desperate need of comic relief. She will not bring Rickon with her, because by now nobody even remembers that Rickon ever existed. Balon Greyjoy, Roose Bolton, and Walder Frey will all go to war against one another, each one attempting to narrow the competition down after discovering that they are the three finalists in the Father of the Year competition. Gendry will eventually be found drifting around on his raft by Gilly, who, it will turn out, does in fact actually have gills. Jorah will finally meet an actual girlfriend, and she's okay about wearing the platinum wig to bed, but she leaves him when he insists on her also bringing three lizards. And there will an entire episode narrated by Hodor.

My feelings are pretty much the same as others. Eric and Pam are able to easily demolish the Yakuza with super-speed, but they didn't before, because they... forgot? Bill should have died weeks ago. They could still have had Sookie dream about him a few times in order to come to terms with it, but this was way more than one long-ass scene too many about him acting all... Billy. Andy and Holly are not millionaires. Making them pay taxes on the mansion while Hoyt lives off of his inheritance and whatever money he sells his mom's house for (and will Jessica be getting a job at all?) is just cruel. And how does Bill have so much trouble with financial planning anyway? I give up. I don't even understand why he was never arrested for murder. I never really cared about Sookie's fairy light. But if she does, then that means Bill was wrong about her needing a normal life. I doubt that her husband or whatever is a human, since new characters almost never are. The were-panthers never got any closure. Maybe Sookie hooked up one of them. And Bridget gets the honor of squeezing out a new baby Stackhouse every two weeks or so from the look of it. Yeah, that's a happy ending. Poor girl doesn't look like she could give birth to a parakeet. Hey, maybe she's a were-panther too, and she just never told Hoyt. That would explain having litters. I just wish watching this boring-ass episode had been half as much fun as complaining about it a few days later.

The mention of Gilligan makes me wonder who my top five castaways would be. 1.The Professor He knows everything, can make anything, and would probably even solve the entire zombie apocalypse problem in like half an hour. 2.Maryann She's hot as hell, and also is a hard worker with a lot of useful domestic skills that allow her to maintain the group's standard of living in a low-technology situation. She's kind of like a way, way more pleasant version of Lori. 3.Ginger Because, unfortunately, if Maryann puts out for anyone, it's going to be The Professor. Plus, Ginger may have acquired some rudimentary combat skills starring in a gladiator flick or something. 4. The Japanese Soldier Who Still Thinks It's World War Two He's well-armed, well-trained, and never stops fighting the enemy. Not getting word that Japan surrendered is excusable.I think that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he would re-prioritize who the enemy actually was. 5. Alexandri Gregor Dubov Yes, he's a pain in the ass to have in your group, but still certainly no worse than most of the regular cast members (Gilligan's Island or Walking Dead,) and whenever the writers have a brilliant idea for a new story development, just have Dobov talk to them. He has the correct answer to everything. "Dubov say fooey on Carl-centric episode!" "Dubov say fooey on Eugene!" "Dubov say fooey on Bob!"

I think his willingness to work with a Slayer was also largely ego-based. "Well, I've bloody killed two of them already, haven't I? She ought to be thrilled to have a Big Bad like me on her side! Plus, I can still eat her afterwards..." Other vamps, even when their goals do happen to line up with a Slayer's, are a bit more unlikely to hang around talking to one. Well, I suppose I should chime in with an unpopular opinion of my own while I'm here. I loved the Initiative arc. There were things about the ending that made no sense to me. The bullets to doves crap? Stupid, but really just a special effect that they could have ditched and still run the story the same exact way. And that pretentious "Restless" episode as the finale? Not a good pacing choice, but again, not really a part of the arc. More of a prequel to the next big thing, which the writers very quickly forgot about. But Riley, his relationships with his friends, Maggie, Adam, the chip, Spike's playing both sides, even the general idea of Buffy combining her strengths with those of her friends, no matter how confusingly it was actually depicted in the fight scene... I thought it was a great story.

Ridiculous slow-moving stake trap aside, what was even the point of pumping Eric for information about Sookie? They can find Newmie anywhere, but they can't hack into the DMV and find out where Sookie has lived for her entire fucking life? I'm okay with Jessica and Hoyt as an end-game. All the reasons against it that people have given are valid, but the actors are selling it. Hell, Jessica can make any scene good. Even Bill releasing her was a very moving scene, and I assure you it wasn't because of Bill. Who should be dead or arrested by now, shouldn't he? Jason and Bridgett don't get as big a pass as Jessica and Hoyt. The acting is good, but there's only so much they can do with the story they've been handed. Jason is going to stop manwhoring around now just because he's been told that he's "good?" Yeah, not buying it. She's into his inner beauty, which apparently she could sense the second she met him? Not feeling that, either. I think what's going to happen is they're both going to wait one night, out of respect for Hoyt, and then she'll still hang around to be in finale, and then they'll start humping like epilectic squirrels. And then, shortly afterwards, at least one them will screw somebody else. But by that time the show will be over.

A damaged memory of someone more trusted than Stahma by both the Lawkeeper and by a close advisor of the provincial mayor? Not even counting how many other powerful people in town felt close to Kenya? Not a good risk. One thing the Tarrs understand very well is that, legally, some people are more equal than others.

I finally put my finger on why I didn't enjoy the Tarrs as much as I should have. Their acting was superb. So was their dialogue. Problem: The whole schtick about Datak not wanting Kenya killed, only controlled? Total retcon. Datak was homicidally furious at Stahma for her walk on the wild side. Remember? Right after she showed him that vajayjay trick that Kenya somehow must have demonstrated on her, instead of simply explaining it, despite all the confusing questions involved with that interpretation... now we're supposed to buy that he was honestly okay with having Kenya walking around, free to gossip as night porters tend to... just no. I don't accept it. Maybe, hopefully, best case scenerio, what we saw was newer, more cautious Datak retconning his own story, and Stahma pretending to believe him. Because, let's face it, the writers simply do not do enough episodes a season to be allowed to change their characters history that dramatically without a few eyebrows going up.

About communications: The Council was very slow to keep up with modern communications technology. We know that Giles himself was a bit of a Luddite, something I myself had in common with him at the time, and Quentin was older and more traditionalist than Giles. They probably considered email more of a security risk than anything. (Yes, insert comment about keeping demonology books on the school library shelves here.) We've heard Giles at least once say "They swear they sent a memo." Sometimes snail mail gets lost. About the Cruciawhatchamacallit... yeah, that was just stupid. Now, on to something more important. The coats. Here's my take on it. Yes, in Seasons 1-4, there were two people living in a three bedroom house. Maybe it was originally meant to be a guest room. Maybe Joyce meant to set up an office in there and write a novel or something. We'll never know, because Buffy filled it with coats. Then, in Season 5, the molecules from about ninety pounds of those coats became Dawn. And a bunch of other coats (however many it took to clear out the room,) ended up at Willow's house. In the post-Dawn-retcon seasons, Willow has a terrible history of borrowing Buffy's coats and not returning them, which is why they end up not as close as they used to be,

As funny as I thought Violet was last week, she quickly proved herself too stupid to live. Hoyt sneaking up on her was a surprise, but someone sneaking up on her really wasn't. For all V knew, Jessica might have communicated to someone where she was going. That not only means that the sheriff himself might be coming in the door, but so might any of his varying number of deputies. Or... if Jessica told Bill, Bill could have called someone. "Hey, I'll give you three million dollars if you go to this address and save my progeny. " Could have been a group of vampires sneaking in, could have been a group of heavily armed human professionals, could have been Rhino Sam, could have been a whole new story arc about Wade gaining forgiveness from a pack of were-tigers. I mean, it's an unlocked front door in Bon Temps. Not the best of security plans, especially if you're going to take the time to go all Bond villainess.

I love the titles this season. "Lost Cause," "May Be The Last Time," "Almost Home..." they're all about how eager we are to watch a whole bunch more episodes, aren't they? I hated Sam not being accounted for this week. Every time Jason walked past a bear or gorilla or even a zebra, I kept hoping it was him. Hoyt killing Violet was a good moment. But a gorilla killing Violet? Maybe with a giant wooden dildo through the heart? Would be awesome. And don't tell me budget was a problem. Gorillas on TV shows are cheap. They can use the old suit from "Gilligan's island" for all I care. Count me among the many who are glad to see Hoyt back. But I don't think he and Jessica can be plausibly crammed into a happy ending. Bill and Sookie can, because who gives a fuck about Bill and Sookie. But the best I could see for Hoyt and Jessica would be another five years or so, followed by a more congenial breakup than last time. Which wouldn't bother me, but it's hardly anything to get excited about. Although a five year spinoff series of them living in Alaska, dealing with werewolves and Wendigos and Sasquatches and Yukon Cornelius? Would be awesome. Bridget or whatever her name is? Way too late in the series for me to give a damn about her. Consolation prize for Jason maybe? What would that matter? There are ten episodes a season, and Jason usually has, what, two or three women a season? Jason may have a lot of angst about relationships, but, ultimately, he is not all that monogamous. What he needs is an open relationship, but I'm really not convinced he'd be able to feel secure in such.

Dear Bill: Couldn't you at least have said "no" before everybody was in the Yakuza den? I mean, granted, it turns out that they have absolutely no security whatsoever on their most valuable asset, and Eric has been free to go downstairs and kill her at any moment that he got the urge, but how was anybody supposed to know that? Was the top Yakowboy whose mind Suckeh read actually consciously thinking: "... yeah, with what we've got downstairs... hey, I wonder if we should start putting guards down there too... nahhh... I can't make any of these guys work on Shirtless Poker Day... it's the only thing they have to look forward to now that the karaoke machine's broken..."

Raiga/Stahma and Nolan/Irissa were the only scenes I liked this week. Berlin looks good in a skirt, and I understand the reason for the sudden wardrobe change (screwing with Tommy,) but... really? You're a professional soldier who tends to get beaten up every week when you're wearing pants. Is now really the time for a makeover? Do Sensoths... have lives? I mean like are there Sensoth neighborhoods with Sensoth religions and tradtions and families and whatnot? Or do do they all just get cloned somewhere, grow up at Alien Henchman Prep School, and then work for bad guys the rest of their lives? I always liked Kenya, but just couldn't get excited about her this week. Maybe next week will have a script better suited to the actress. With all the cloak and dagger stuff going on with the Collective, I wonder if we might see Christy or even Mercado go undercover as Votans. How well it would work depends on whether or not the writer of the week remembers that Castithans apparently now have super-bloodhound smelling. Oh, and I liked the pre-interrgoation with Nolan and what's-his-name. I could have done without the torture that followed, but even that fit the plot well enough and at least it was something besides those boring Little Irzu visions, so I'll take it.

I don't see transracialism becoming accepted after what just happened. Not only are these people considered to be weird freaks, and not only does the cosplay tend to be interpreted as mockery, but now they also have the stigma of being associated with a string of human-on-Votan murders that was committed for the express purpose of providing them with popular accesories. I don't think saying "Oh, I'm sorry. I thought the doctor was only looting your people's cadavers" is really going to calm anybody down much.

Sam might just say "fuck everybody," go to the beach, and turn into a dolphin.

So... the writers actually don't want Bill's scenes to be boring? Okay, I am now officially confused.

They should call it the Bubonic Plug.