CletusMusashi

The first time Morgan faced the Wolves, there wasn't nearly this level of uproar about him opting for mercy. There were some people, sure. Just like there are still people thinking "Oh, just play it safe and kill Nick!" But the reason Morgan-bashing is so prevalent this time is that, this time, his philosophy really is a problem. I mean, sure, he slows them down a little, but if they can get right back up, with no concussions or broken limbs or anything, why would they not just attack again? Does he think they have some kind of dueling code that they honor? All he really gets out of them is: "Oh, I get it. Thanks for the advice, Morgan. Next time we'll crash a truck into the guard tower."

So Morgan's teacher was a martial arts badass who placed a high value on life and the use of nonlethal force... and who also liked cheese. I've got it. Morgan was trained by Master Splinter! It's really sad what happened to his friends... but Enid was hungry.

Things they had at the beginning of this episode: 1. A big bunch of zombies in a pit. 2. A need to make them dead-dead, rather than un-dead. 3. Sasha. That really should have been the entire equation right there. Not quite sure what drugs Rick was taking to make him add "Oh! And a parade! And balloons! And a motorcycle! And a bunch of ASZhats right next to the parade, in case the zombies get hungry!" Has Rick seen the town psychiatrist yet?

Oven Timer will make damned sure that Carol's food comes out on time. Oven Timer ain't stupid! Oven Timer is terrified of that woman!

I would like to correct my "Game of Thrones" casting. Carol is one of the Faceless Men.

Or at least for not sharing. " What the hell've you got there? I'm hungry too, bitch! Gimme a flipper!" Yes, I know. Tortoises don't have flippers. But it's a way funnier word than "leg," so let me have this schtick, damn it! Now, of course, if it was a crocodile, Betty would be very pissed...

Carl doesn't even use a machete! He's all about guns, and hats, and pudding, and, finally, after 23 inches of vertical growth during an alleged three-year period, about girls. Also, pulling out a machete, that's stuck in a skull is way more difficult than something that went in through a linear trajectory, aka a knife, or something that only has a small area to get stuck, such as a hatchet. Or... you could try something like a staff or club, that is very unlikely to get stuck at all. So maybe, just maybe, Carl is so sick of babysitting FPP that he is deliberately sandbagging him with something that everybody thinks is a great anti-skull weapon, but is nonetheless disproportionately likely to get him overwhelmed when fighting more than one Z. I know, it sounds like a long shot, but remember: this is the second time Carl has "tried" to teach FPP to fight. And both times, he started with a weapon that he himself does not choose to carry. Kid's busy enough watching an actual baby. I don't blame him a bit for wanting to dump a new cuckoo bird out of the nest.

Please recast Deanna with Bettie White.

One thing this week made very clear, besides "Carol is an amazing killing machine," is that there isn't as big a difference between old Carol and new Carol as it often looks like. When she was swapping recipes with the other housewives, that wasn't her pretending to be a housewife instead of a survivor of countless dangerous situations. Because, to her, both are one in the same. Sure, the stakes involved in fighting the Wolves are higher than they were in getting punched a few times by Ed, but each situation, at the time that it was relevant, was her world. What the other housewives hear as "Oh, isn't that clever, cleaning out the pantry like that and still having it taste good," was, in Carol's world "OK, I need to feed Ed something that he isn't tired of, that won't cost him money, that tastes good, and that Sofia also likes, because if she doesn't clean her plate she might get the shit beaten out of her..." Housewife Carol was already building many of the skills and outlooks that ZA Carol gets so much credit for. The pretending to be passive, and then sneaking in with whatever she needs to do, was how she lived every day. So was being able to take a punch and still get things done afterward. Learning how to kill with a knife or gun certainly hasn't hurt, but in and of itself, it's not what makes her so dangerous. Who she is, behind the weapon, and everything she's been through in her life, not just in the last few years, is what makes her so effective. I am certainly not saying that she in any way "owes" Ed for "toughening" her up. What I am doing is giving her credit for knowing how to make lemonade.

You know, Enid has spectacular penmanship.

Could Hardwick's attempt to justify the show's (current) rules about virus transmission possibly sound any more desperately pleading? But, Yvette Nicole Brown is back next week. That's nice.

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TechnicalPacifist

I don' think she was ever as hated as FPP. I don't even think Season 2 Carl was as hated as FPP... although he came close. Jesse was taking over the protagonist's storyline, when we'd much rather be seeing what was going on with the other characters, that's all. Jesse, this season, has not bugged me so much. The scissors did surprise me, but it was an "Oh, of course! How the hell did I not expect that?" kind of surprise. What I was actually expecting, in the scene, was for her to get beaten to death with her own owl sculpture. Kind of like the Cat Lady in "A Clockwork Orange," except more... owly. Is it weird that I just automatically assume something like that?

Wolf in sheep's clothing dresses up in "Wolf's" clothing Protects pack and herd Little Red Shirts die. Big Bad Wolf annoys Granny. Granny's Alpha Bitch.

Will Enid provolone her ability to survive? Has Deanna bleu her big chance to establish herself as the town's real leader? Will Rick's next attempt at a zombie population colby successful? But, hey, at least "The Strain" is on hiatus right now. Which means that they're giving Abraham and Feta well-deserved vacation.

Morgan, what the hell? Battlefield pacifism does not help, okay?

Must... fight... urge... to make... muensters joke...

I understand why Morgan is a pacifist now! "Blessed are the cheesemakers..."

A thread for speculation and discussion about The Unfairest of Them All. How did they begin? How do they recruit? Why don't they just shoot people? Why do they use big axes and machetes when skulking around town randomly, but then when confronted by an obviously well-trained staff master, just sort of distance themselves around him half-assedly holding knives? Maybe they'll tell us, or maybe, as usual, we'll just have to make it up ourselves. Here's my fanwank of the week. The Wolves believe that you gain power by killing, but not by shooting. So they'll shoot if they have to, just to stay in the game, but if they're trying to gain enough XP to become a 19th Level Psychotic Killer they have to use melee weapons. Also, they have mutilation rituals which can, in their mind, increase the power that they gain by axe-murdering you or whatever. As usual, I still can't figure out why we don't see more spears or polearms, but that's a complaint for every story arc...

Carl has only recently really learned to appreciate clean hair. For a long time, "clean" wasn't an option, and before that, it wasn't even something he thought about. You got showers and haircuts when Lori told you to, and then you broke out the hacksaws for Pancake Day.

"What big knives you have... the better to kill you with!" says Carol, shooting.

I don't think Carl's hair is any big deal. I'll take it over that stupid fucking hat, any day.

With the possible exception of Kevin Smith.

Aw, damn it. She died even before I could even recognize her. It's a shame. So many "Animal House" jokes still unused.

That is a valid argument... if you're talking about not killing Randall. Or Pete. Or Nicholas. Or Shane. Or Gum-Chewing Guy. Or Carol. But people who are personally gleefully and efficiently working every day to kill every single person they can... if you don't have a prison or other way of neutralizing them... then to save thousands you might have to kill that few dozen who are blatantly killing them right in front of you while giggling about the fact that they will never stop. Batman at least has the excuse of thinking that maybe some day Arkham Asylum will get better security. But Morgan has nothing. He isn't even letting obvious habitual gratuitous mass murderers go because they promised not to do it again. They didn't. They're mocking him as they leave. He even lets them take guns. Ultimately, Morgan lets them go because his own by-the-very-simple-book "honor" is more important to him than actually protecting human life en masse. ETA: Or Merle. Or Rick. Or Carl. Or Father Pee Pants. Or Eugene. Or Abraham. However, Gareth, Joe, and Brillip are not on this list, once you get to know them. I defended Rick's decision to retreat from Terminus because I thought it was less dangerous, not because it was more merciful.