ReadMeLattice

I'm trying to focus on the antics but this is par for the course with Jenelle + Soulmate so all I can think about is 1) Jenelle's forehead. Yikes. 2) if Nathan can ever do a fully clothed video or pic with shirt buttoned to proper height and 3) Bri spells "article" as "artical." Holy shit. ARTICAL?

They've clearly both never been told no, or told honestly what pieces of shit they are, and Barb is honest.

Has anyone been watching Marriage Boot Camp?

Neither Jenelle nor Kailyn is exceptionally unattractive, IMO, and could even be cute/pretty (especially Jenelle, Kailyn has some deeply unfortunate features, but still used to be better looking than she is now) if styled well. The plastic surgery and makeup/hairstyles/outfits both of them choose make them objectively both look far far worse. I don't get it. Kailyn especially with her body--the butt implants and the ridiculous outfits that are for someone with an hourglass bombshell figure, instead of anything flattering for her shape--and Jenelle especially with makeup and hair. Jenelle has a nice body and her face is ok, but she tends toward "hardened" (like a stripper/smoker), and instead of softening her up, her makeup and hair invariably make her look *harder* and add years and lines to her. Instead of looking prettier and fresher, her makeup style makes her look like a 40-something cougar. It's so bizarre. You'd think after this much time in the biz they'd have learned something or hired somebody to teach them. It would be one thing if they just dressed sloppy or didn't care much about appearance. It's not that. They both obviously care a lot about their appearance and both are very vain, but they highlight the very features they should soften or downplay (Jenelle's forehead, Kailyn's large arms and hips), and mess up the features that are nice about them (Jenelle breaks up her petite figure with boxy items that make her appear bigger than she is, and Kailyn wears harsh makeup that messes up the best thing about her look, which is her smile). It's odd, to say the least. It's like instead of just trying to look like attractive women, they are actively trying for the porn star/Botoxed Hollywood/plastic surgeried stripper Vegas showgirl look. Like they're getting surgery and troweling on makeup to show off the surgery and makeup, not their own best features.

That's definitely bad and I'm not excusing it, but that's probably only like 3 drinks. Again, def wrong and endangering others...but yeah, the guns and restraining order are a lot scarier than that. Unfortunately, I think most people who drink have probably driven with 3 or more drinks in their system at some point. :( I am crazy paranoid and won't drive at all even after one drink...too scared of getting pulled over.

OK, I haven't logged in in a minute and saw the comments about the mermaid photos before I saw the pictures...TBH I totally get sensitive (I'm postpartum and hormonal don't blame me, lol) when people make fun of Jenelle's short body and thick legs and call it dumpy because I have legs just like that and feel for the short-girl-body struggle, plus I think she's actually pretty attractive and I'm not generally into body snark--so I wasn't expecting THIS. OH MY GOD THOSE PICTURES ARE SO UGLY. Like objectively horribly done. She has way more money than most people, more access to great photographers and costumes, could probably whine MTV into getting her whatever makeup artist she wanted, and could go to the best tattoo artists in LA if she would do it on camera. WHY would she have these low-quality photos done at that angle, with that awful makeup, a tail that doesn't fit, a tattoo that looks like Tori did it one night while trashed, and a bra that looks like it came from a cheap adult store off the freeway?! I guess money can't buy basic taste. This legitimately looks like the "sexy" photos my friends and I used to try to take of each other when we were 16 and bought new clothes at the mall alongside body glitter from Claire's, and it definitely did not cost $900 to look that silly. We might have looked better.

Yeah, I'm really not buying that someone cursed him out for standing for the pledge of allegiance. I would guess that he cursed someone out/threatened them for choosing not to and they responded.

Most accurate analysis of this show ever.

I had pretty severe postpartum preeclampsia and wasn't hugely swollen. That said, I had to fly about a week later because we were moving for my husband's job, and I was warned to wear compression stockings and make sure to hydrate because I risked getting a blood clot or worse. Mind you, this was 2 weeks after I gave birth and a week after hospital discharge. Doing this while you're pregnant AND might have preeclampsia was risking the baby's life but also her own. She is extremely stupid and reckless.

Well, that would be ok if they used condoms...but none of these people do, so that would just be painful.

Maybe I missed this, but was it a different wedding dress than the first one?

I believe Randy did (good ol' Randy on Twitter), but not Chelsea. I don't think Jenelle ever really did either.

Yeah, I think with the pregnancy and Chelsea not being very smart or driven, Randy likely just didn't expect very much from *her,* not necessarily all women. Though I do think he might not have paid for an apartment for, or tried to be harsher sooner on, a son mooning over and having unprotected sex with some "bad girl" for YEARS. When she met Cole and moved on, I'm sure he was content as long as she just wasn't with Adam and had her GED. The bar was set low, so I'm sure after years of drama, failing GED practice tests and footing the bill, he was just relieved for the bare minimum. He probably would have put more pressure on a girl who'd gotten all As in high school or something or had interests beyond boys (sports, music). I don't think Chelsea was ever going to be more than mediocre and he knew that.

Also lol forever at "crest of Griffin."

Nathan definitely strikes me as potentially white supremacist. He is definitely openly homophobic as well, like David.

I would put Farrah above Maci because of Maci ignoring the Ryan issues for so long and binge drinking while pregnant. Also her hypocritical self-righteousness drives me nuts but then that's getting into "why I hate these people" territory and out of "parents ranking" territory. Also having two more kids and pretending they were surprises. *Eyeroll*

That's so true. Amber gets these bizarre moments of clarity. Remember when they went over to Gary's and she was silent on the way home? She was clearly regretting what her life had become. That's partly why she fights so hard to defend herself. She knows her life is fucked. And she did choose prison, which required awareness. She knows she's messed up in a way Jenelle doesn't, whether Jenelle has some kind of schizophrenia or ASD/sociopathy (I don't buy the bipolar or BPD thing because people with BPD generally have serious histories of abuse, aren't truly delusional and feel a normal amount of empathy, or even too much. And bipolar people don't have issues with empathy or true delusions either. She feels no empathy and actually is pathologically delusional IMO) or is just plain mean and selfish. That somehow might make her worse, if you look at it a certain way. Jenelle seems truly unaware. I don't think it is *necessarily* mental illness; it could just be that the drugs have fried her brain or she just really has no redeeming qualities. Amber, deep down, is aware of how bad her life is and how messed up she is. But she never changes it.

I don't get it either! How do they know when things are going to go down? Or is every scenario just a total setup? ("OK, we're going to come over at 4:30 today and you guys are going to act upset about Luis, because that's your storyline.")

I don't know. I'm not that much older than her and everyone I know my age works multiple jobs or one full-time job while raising families, and a few are stay at home parents, but most have multiple degrees or vocational training because a B.A. today is the equivalent of a high school diploma thirty years ago (in terms of ability to get a decent job with it). That could just be my own experience, though. Maybe, if anything, it's regional? I assume she's not that far off from the norm in her immediate area? But I think the closest thing to the truth is that, like you suggest, they're all just not very bright. Chelsea definitely hasn't wasted everything she's gotten like the rest. She'll do ok, and if she needed to, she has her license and could go back to work, though I think she'd find working full-time and supporting herself to be a huge transition. But of course it's self-selecting--people who agree to be on a show about teen moms for multiple years probably by definition aren't the smartest, most resourceful people around.

My husband just saw me typing and asked what I was doing. I told him I was writing about the teen moms and he said "that one with both a double chin and no chin?" Just thought I'd share.

This. Not everything is a comparison. I'm annoyed by Chelsea and don't think she's that awesome. She seems lazy and spoiled to me and I think two weddings are tacky and wasteful. That has literally nothing to do with any of the other girls. Obviously they are worse. But this board is to snark on everything, cause it's fun. ;)

Oh yeah, that was a definite "I'm going to beat the shit out of you later, woman" look if ever I saw one. *shudder* I think the blood in my veins ran cold.

LOL, I think all of us would.

Yeah, I agree. I guess there's a difference between shitty-person-ness and a bad parent ranking--on the former I think they'd be equal. I do think Amber "watched"/neglected Leah a lot while she was high, but at least since then she seems to have had protected sex.

This might be a somewhat unpopular opinion but I agree 100% with this. Kailyn might only care about the outside world for the undeserved props it can give her and Farrah might really only be interested in the $ but I don't get how out of both sets of TM girls there is no one with an actual career except for Farrah, who owns several businesses. And most fans hate her the most! Cate talked big about her future career, Leah has pie in the sky dreams and Jenelle was going to 'save lives' and not one of them seems to have *any* curiosity, intellectually or otherwise. Kailyn claims to have hustle but I haven't really seen it. Where is the ambition, the drive, the interest in books or people or culture or the world? A few years back I would have DIED at the opportunity to have enough money to get whatever degrees I liked and traveled anywhere. It kills me to think of the number of graduate degrees, charities, books, experiences, small businesses, creative activities, private schools, after-school activities, DIY home projects, and/or entrepreneurial ventures these people's $ could have funded for themselves or their children. Instead they buy pets and cars, pay for expensive weddings/baby showers/engagement parties/photo shoots, and get pregnant over and over. BORING. They could buy cameras for themselves and learn to take interesting photos instead of hiring so many people to take the photo shoots; they could do ANYTHING they liked. I just think of all of my friends from undergrad who had GoFundMes or applied to multiple grants or had summer jobs to save up for volunteer experiences, summer school, travel, master's degrees, etc. They would have killed to be on MTV broadcasting their drama for a few weeks per year and be able to use their money for amazing opportunities. Instead, there are pigs, dogs, lawyer's fees, and shitty T-shirt companies.