Uncle JUICE

You have to provide her an alternative activity that's appropriate and satisfying and she can really succeed at (choir's not a bad idea). I am sure, and I mean SURE, that her mom's adulation at Grace's cheerleading, because that's what Mommy did, is going to be a sore spot for Ali as she gets older. That kid has enough of a hard road ahead of her, and if you can minimize how many times she feels less than, that has to be the number one priority. Even if it means getting a babysitter

Sorry there...how many cops do you figure recognize Jace's face by now? And Javi's dinner move smacked of desperation, of a guy who thought once he left the house, his wife would be stepping out on him and finding tinder dates. No, I can't thinkk of anything ncie to say, that's why I come here. :)

I also don't understand why these boyfriends of Jenelle's always jump on the "you should definitiely have custody" bandwagon, except that they want to bang her. What fucking context could any of these guys have, really, where such a life-altering decision is made for a little boy? I mean do any of them just say "I guess it'll have to work itself out, I mean I've only known you for six weeks"? All of them are just straight "GET THAT KID BACK STAT!" like they know anything about any situation. ETA also loved "I work out vigorously" when Barb said she was concerned for Jenelle. Completely different frame of reference, because one is a parent, and the other is a breeder. If Jenelle cared for her own kids ever, she'd have immediately seen that Barb was talking about something more important than her bikini body.

This is my own personal bias, but I always feel like MTV cuts off the discussions among family about three sentences before they start talking about praying her condition away and giving themselves over to Jesus to fix the condition. It's absolutely against doctor's orders to have her playing tee ball, I mean it flies in the face of what he said directly: she needs to minimize how much she's using her muscles because her condition is degenerative. This isn't a Disney movie, I hate to be the cold light of day. That kid is precious, she needs to be treated that way.

Oh my fucking god, how has no one created the social media pages for these twats yet? Talk about untapped comedic potential. Dylan's facebook would be even more intolerable than regular facebook. Steve's twitter! Brandon's Linkedin! WHERE ARE YOU, INTERNET???????

I'm pretty sure you shouldn't be taking Ali to the other one's cheer prep. She's going to be at an age now where she recognizes the difference between her and her twin sister and it will just get more and more fucking heartbreaking. That scene made me wish MTV would just cut them out of the show entirely, because the more seasons we watch, the more we'll have to watch that poor kid's condition affect her life. It's one thing (and not to downplay how tragic it is, but) when the two of them are basically just crawling and being babies. Now there is a very stark difference in what they can and can't do the same, and both of them will start to recognize it. And it's worse because Leah and her ilk are not mentally or emotionally equipped to know how to minimize the differences for them. Corey's not innocent here either, he keeps insisting she walk first when the doctor clearly says that's the opposite of helping; he thinks that some miracle is going to occur I guess if she just shows sticktoitiveness. It isn't, this is science. This show's going to end up doing long term damage, and all of Dr Drew's and MTV's self congratulation over how they're responsible for lowering teen birth rates in some way (I wish someone would explain correlation versus causation to those people) will have to balance against the inevitable negative stuff that's going to happen with these poor kids. Seriously, what's the over under on Jace's first mug shot? 14.5? He's got zero chance after watching what happens to that poor kid tonight. Why would a kid MAKE UP what he said to Barb both before going over there and after? What's he get out of that? I guess the idea is he's telling Barb what he thinks she wants to hear somehow, but I don't think that kid has the artifice for that. Jenelle definitely is not doing any activities with him, I mean when the cameras are around, she lives in Myrtle Beach, why not take everyone to the boardwalk or Barefoot Landing or something easy, just for appearance's sake? Why fight to have the kid come over then lock yourself in your room?

I had this same question, then my wife informed me it was a country music concert. So...nope. Also, there's an even money chance that he doesn't understand irony that way. I'm reminded of Danny on 30 Rock claiming to not understand sarcasm because "Canada doesn't have a large Jewish population." It's like a language they don't speak there.

We'll find out around 10:54 ET. I wish they'd just lead with that, but as they have footage, it has to close the episode. No footage and they'd have made a PA make a fake 911 call (a la the Nathan / Jenelle DV incident).

Isn't she ALSO an asshole, too? I mean if you ask me, anyone who wants to spend time with Jenelle is probably a good bet to BE an asshole anyway, but she's just as big an asshole as they are. What the fuck, lady, go on the fucking pill! Though I bet she has a prescription and just doesn't take it.

I wonder what MTV producers "aren't happy about." Clearly they make good revenue from this show, could it be knowing that now they have ANOTHER one of Jenelle's guys on the payroll long term? It can't be like "Well, we're enabling these bad decisions, this is sort of on us, guys," I mean that wouldn't be how the people who make this show seem to make decisions or assessments.

I think someone should try to figure out how many actual "friends" these people have had. Of all of them I think Chelsea is theone with the least (and that's a good thing). She has other Chelsey and Landon the Fabnicifent with lots of repeat appearances. How many different friends has Adam had in his segments? How many non-family members for Leah? Kailynn, too, I think she's in third though.

I feel like if Dave wrote it, it would be the handwriting of someone who holds the writing implement in a full fist grip. Huge block letters. Barely distinguishable from the kid's handwriting.

Teen mom 2 is going to the "very special episode" font on the bumpers and promos this week.

I often wondered this too! The lack of Donna ever being protrayed as legitimately horny makes her seem unhealthy, she has to have some libido too, but they definitely don't portray them as the "We're way into oral!" types. I picture Donna as grossed out by David's dick most of the time, and him furiously beating off after forty minutes of kissing and light groping over clothes.

I'm not saying stepkids can never call their step parents mom or dad, it just seems like in THIS particular instance, it's fair to at least ask the question, given what we've seen from Kailyn on the show as far as her behavior. "I don't want that bitch in the car when you pick up your son!" and so forth, it seems like she'd have an objection to it if the tables were turned.

Another Nathan: "Have you ever heard of parental ellenation?"

One of the all time hall of fame moments on this show. Her lawyer was hilariously flabbergasted, because Jenelle was facing jail time if she didn't show up to court, something like that. The lawyer probably didn't know who KESHA was, and Jenelle literally says "She's why I have these feathers in my hair!!!" I think that was the lawyer before Lawyer Dusty. I imagine the rest of the scene after Jenelle storms out of the office had the lawyer asking the camera crew "Wait, are you still filming that show Punk'd? Is that what this really is?"

Damn you and your totally sensible point! I wonder what he'll end up calling him when they inevitably get divorced.

This has bugged me for weeks. Jo isn't some uninvolved dickbag of a dad. I'd object to Aubree calling Cole dad, I object to Chelsea constantly reminding Aubree that Cole isn't a replacement for her unfortunate real father, but no one here ever says boo that Kailyn allows, and probably at some point even encouraged, Isaac to call Javi 'daddy'. It seems right up her passive aggressive alley.

The tone that lawyer had told me "This is the fourth time in three days you've called," that's straight addict behavior, as others have pointed out. I think she probably told Leah at the outset how long a ruling takes, and Leah just couldn't fight back the urge to consistently call. To me the only other way her tone makes sense is MTV TOLD her to call the lawyer and ask for dramastic purposes, not really giving a shit that Leah had called the day before and before that, when they weren't filming.

I'm telling you all, the show about this show from the lawyer's perspective MUST be made. I want so much to see the other end of the phone call when Leah calls and asks if they'd heard anything. that lawyer couldn't be more annoyed, you know she hung up and was like "Yeah, because I heard something and fucking forgot somehow to call you." And we weren't even treated to the rambling craziness that must have been Jenelle's call to her lawyer about Nathan kidnapping his own son. I need to see Adam's latest low-cost attorney trying to explain why his rap sheet IS still a valid point of contention, and that when he files for custody, the first thing he's going to hear about is all the child support he's in arrears over. Please!!! MAKE THIS HAPPEN.

It's the possessive version used by Leah. As in "I just picked up the girlses nutritious dinner while Im out on the prowl to score: an Arby's sandwich to share."

TO paraphrase Kathy Griffin (Don't ask me why), yes, they will be the next IT couple, as long as you mean like the last two letters of shit couple. I feel like we deserve this lady and her craziness, with how we consume and create celebrity nowadays. It's like a fame Frankenstein: once you create it, you can't be too surprised at how it quickly turns ugly.

That's exactly the point of my show :). I want to see the hard downfall.

Sorry, that's the pre-title sequence to my show about the team of attorneys who assist all Teen Moms. Jenelle's lawyer is Linda Lovely, of Lovely Law. And that's not something I made up, it's real, the law firm. :) Horry County, SC, is Jenelle's current municipality. ETA: THis show could also feature Farrah's agent. I'm not sure if he'd be super sleazy ("Endorse this chin lift strap on your twitter feed, they'll give you $3K, and no one will EVER remember the picture of your face in traction!") or some earnest young intern who has her as his only client at a really low-rent talent agency, where he's trying hard to get her work but she won't take a role on a soap opera (think that episode of 30 rock where Lemon had an agent for her Dealbreaker series, Farrah would torture the guy with "Would Merle Streak (because she doesn't know who Meryl Streep is, just heard the name) do Days of Our Lives, asshole????") and his dickhead much richer and more successful coworkers do stuff like give him her fake pussy when it's secret Santa time around the office.