Drogo

Nikki: “Your son and his mental health are in good hands, Mama Timberlake! I haven’t verbally abused him since we got out of the car.”

It's almost as though these Survivor challenges aren't things people are typically skilled at or used to doing! That said, I'll take my chances trying to stay on an oceanic Trivial Pursuit piece or gasping for air through a grate over a slide puzzle any day. Talk about scary shit.

The thing that keeps me from being disappointed in Emily for her choices here is that TH where she acknowledges: "Bruce has no interest in playing his idol strategically." (aka he only wants to use it if he has to, to save himself directly.) Couple that observation with Bruce's TH where he quite literally says to us "I'm going to play my idol tonight so I can be here next week" then doesn't play the fucking idol because he's so confident he has 3 other votes for Mama J...? Ok. Bye Bruce.

I can't fucking stand Drew. I hate his bogus "I'm a Nice Guy" shtick coupled with his outrageous entitlement from his first twenty minutes ever having friends. Guess what Drew- you haven't been "excluded from Bro'ing out" because you're skinny or because you love Scrabble or wear glasses. It's because your character blows ass, and you treat people like shit when you're in any position of power and they have nothing to offer you. (i.e. mocking Jake's accent and razzing him about thinking he's a tough guy because he wants to leave ye olde beach of deceit and beratement.)

She really was when we met her. Bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, puppy parties and pageant dresses. Then a relationship at the dawn of her adult life (21-26?) with an abusive and unfaithful alcoholic took its toll on her, and when she was finally free of that, the majority of these girls were mean as shit to her for no reason. She's made some bad decisions for sure, but she's got a hell of a villain origin story. Lala for her part never once let up on calling Raquel an idiot in every colorful way she could... getting in her face regularly... oh and that's right, having sex with Raquel's boyfriend and bragging about "eating her pasta."

It’s giving “I want the popular kids to like me.” Emily is the biggest threat in a F2/F3. She might not be good at mathin’ but she’s articulate AF. She needs to tuck that 800 SAT Verbal score back in.

This is the same Danielle who thought a guy getting off the bed with her, turning around, and getting back on the bed was Wet Colin Firth with the moves.

Maybe she wanted to hit pause on life like Zack Morris, but instead she came off condescending, like she was trying to humiliate Danielle. If she really wanted to be a friend to Danielle, maybe the play was to talk to her once she'd sobered up after one of the other 22 times she got possessive about her house hookup in the last 4 days. Particularly since Amanda could write the book on "getting the guy who only wants 2AM sex from you to eventually give up and marry you." The Schwinn.

Schwartz's ex-wife Katie used to wear bras, so the bra's existence in the bathroom was triggering for him.

Pumptini!

Ballsy of Kimberly to want emotional support from a person who (thanks to her refusal to go downstairs) has to eat every meal hearing his family complain about his antisocial spouse then walks upstairs just to be greeted with an Uber-scowl. TJ should’ve just walked outside and made heart hands up at the window; I’ve heard that fixes most couple problems.

I can probably clear this up. Tom was a child who wished he could be bigger. He made a wish at the Ask Zoltar machine and woke up in a forty year old body with the mind of a tween. He got a job at a toy company after playing the big floor piano at FAO Schwartz. We’re all hoping he finds the machine again so he can wish himself young again and go back to middle school.

Frankly this is my favorite thing Brandan ever did.

Shekinah packs her bags and heads to a hotel. Kimberly and TJ each reach a breaking point. The uninvited guests wreak havoc at Brandan and Mary’s wedding. Daniele makes a new decision about her marriage to Yohan. I haven’t been a fan of Kimberly or TJ but I really don’t know what she expects him to do for her here. Most young Indians are working 60 hours a week. She never took the time to learn the language. She insists on being disagreeable with every person she HAS met so there’s no one who wants to take her out anywhere. Can’t wait to see Jenny tear into her and then everyone else coddle her.

She was jealous of Raquel’s happiness.

I’ll just never understand why these folks think Dr. Now will be proud of them for “taking initiative” or moving to Houston early.. particularly when they use their professional expertise to add twice-weekly cheat days.

Coming up: a voicemail makes Joynomi lose all signs of fucking sanity.

Kids prefer care packages to parents who actually take care of them.

I thought that’s how they get their kicks? By pretending they’re in high school again?

Joynomi will most certainly not stick to her guns.

“Because I left the room??”

Sorry I’m late, I met up with my bestie.

Move over, Bellatrix and Lucius. There’s a new Death Eater in town.

Best to not speak to them either, probably. When did they make fun of him?