candall

Excuse me? Kevin grilled steaks and they're all perched on occasional chairs in the living room with plates on their laps? . Sometimes this show really drops an obvious stitch.

Mom is ixnay on the threesome. "Let's say grace, everyone."

Well, Chazz, we all know what you're NOT gonna do.

Is the LAL soundtrack available?

Destinie harping ad infinitum that Shawn owes her money has worn as thin as Branflake faking her no-sex anxiety attacks. New plot development, please. . Which reminds me, I think you're all selling Britzzz and Marcellino short. Morphing Marce into a mustachio-twisting villain isn't the worst idea in the world. I'd rather watch that than see Britney II and Ray trying to drum up some interest in their stalled storyline.

He "has a lot of feelings for Tiffany Kayla"? Hasn't he been calling her a crazy bitch stalker all season long??

Everybody uncap your Bingo marker!

It's her "Not Fucking Chazz Move #43."

If I were on the jury tasked with judging Chazz for strangling Branwyn, I'd let him go.

I was considering some electric blue strands. And then I remembered: I'm old.

I'm spending this pointless argument time wondering how ex-wifey gets her hair so VIVID, one color after another. Does that dye not tear up your hair?

Pepper M, do whatever you have to do. You won't want to miss this nut cluster and we need you.

ME ME ME!!! I'm so happy someone's going to watch it with me. I'm having internal snarky conversations with you guys. It is snarkalicious! P.S. There's a forum under "Other Candid Reality Shows."

I have to insert a promo here for the new show "Inmate to Roommate." (Thursday nights on A&E after 60 Days In.) It's another Matt Sharp production and all the Matt Sharp prototypes are present and accounted for, plus some new ones. It's basically LAL with none of the romance but double the crazy. 'Regular' (using the term very loosely here) people have offered to take in inmates they don't know who are about to be released from prison. . One religious couple has laminated a billboard size poster of rules for their new inmate-roommate: No R-rated movies, lights out at 10, no guests, attend church and tithe 10%, etc. There are probably 30 rules, including new ones on post-its as they think of them. This guy is 50 y.o, he's been in prison for 18 years, he wants to see Shawshank Redemption, goddammit. This couple met on a 7th Day Adventist dating website and the woman starting writing to the inmate five years ago when the marriage hit a bad patch. Husband seems a little suspicious. . There's a hoarder psychiatrist (in serious denial) who's housing a young dude whose family won't take him. This kid isn't even in the house yet before he snarls, "Ain't nobody tellin' me what to do but ME." I think I've met this guy somewhere before. . There's an old cranky grampy guy (is that a confederate flag tattoo?) who will surely be murdered before the season ends. . There's a "53-y.o." who's giving Cicely Tyson a run for her money. She has serious OCD and hopes her new inmate-roommate will maintain the bathroom in pristine condition. He goes out on the town the first night, thereby disrespecting her. . Hoot mon!

I have never enjoyed a week of Morning Joe more. A respite. I came to see if anyone else joined me in hoping Joe and Mika would find their badges deactivated, but I guess not. Well done, Willie. Good work, Katty, Mike, Claire. . Oh, and I agree that Heilemann did a stellar job filling in for Nicole.

I'm only hanging in there until the end of the season, which should be soon. I'm tired of all the men looking so smug about how they've charmed the women in their lives into giving permission for, basically, extramarital sex. The Love After Lockup live chat is still my howling fun good time at the end of the week, but if you're looking for something new, with infinite snarkability, the "Inmates to Roommates" show on Thursday is a Matt Sharp production and it's bananas.

I have two episodes to watch and I'm just at the part where the woman (who plans to spend the night in her van, wth?) is rolling along singing, "This Is My Father's World." Surely the producers prompted her into that. "Let's hear a tune, Sharna!" Yikes. . The ONLY person with any sense in this whole cluster is the ex-inmate woman who pointed out to Bill and Sharna that Sharna had struck up a correspondence with another man (when the 7th Day Adventist online dating marriage hit a rough patch) and now that man is coming to live with them. Thank you, Voice of Sanity. . Otherwise, I see zero hope of anyone we've met so far pulling this off. I think that "cantankerous old man" will be murdered before breakfast on the first day. I think Sharna's van will soon be heading west with new plates and no passengers. I think that 53(??) year old neat freak woman will have a heart attack when she sees what happens to her bathroom. Maybe Darquavion had a shot if the psychiatrist hadn't been such a mess himself. At least those two had some kind of pre-existing mentor relationship. . I have visited a cousin, whom I didn't know well, in prison because no one else in the family bothered to. It is possible to visit inmates. WHY hasn't anyone done that? I mean, these people wouldn't have seen through the snowjob any faster in person, but at least they could feel a little less stupid later on that they'd done some research.

Wait! What was that preview teaser? Does Bert Brazile have a side piece of her own? Oh, please, please, please. . . .

That really fly hat.

You like me! You really like me!

And that weeeeee little bit of Purple Rain eyeliner.

I keep missing Garrick passing along his messages from God. And I would so enjoy that! I only remember him once telling someone that God wanted him to have more than one wife. I think it might have been his wife he was telling.

Bert: Look, I just want to be The Wife and have my name on the checking account and your old swag over there can raise the kids and keep the fridge stocked and the house clean. I don't want to hear about MORE wives. Got it? Oh, and for the love of all things holy, stop sniveling.

WHAT?!? "I need you to be accessible when I want you to be accessible" are words I'd be repeating to the homicide detective.

Yeah, she's hanging on to the edge of the cliff with her fingernails. Garrick is SUCH A DICK. Dannnnnielle is sweet, she's cute, she's obviously devoted to pleasing him, even to her own detriment and heartbreak, and all he wants is this multi-wife power trip and fresh vag. Oh, he makes me so mad. But on the other hand, everyone else is boring. : )