magemaud

I love my daughter dearly and didn’t have the heart to tell her not to call me at 8:02 on a Sunday night. Good thing I saw the saw the “First Look, but I couldn’t snark here. Now I am five pages behind.

Don’t forget her spanking her phone and viciously stabbing the Mylar love balloons. Didn’t she say something about “maybe I should be with Harris?” Is she going to go back to Michigan “engaged” to him instead?

Not sure where to post this, but no way in Hell are those women going on a girls’ trip with Danielle really her friends

Are those the usual chairs in Dr. Now’s waiting room? They look like they came out of a Medieval banquet hall. I missed it, is there something wrong with one of Michael’s sons? He doesn’t appear on camera very much and at park scene at the end, he just kind of disappeared. I worried that he’d fallen in the lake. edited to add: this guy yammers on and on like Kody Brown

He has the weirdest patchy bald pattern I’ve ever seen I’ll bet this is the first time anyone ever said “see ya’ll at the endoscopy!”

Michael and Kim process regally out of Dr. Now’s office, side by side, holding hands, heads held high, like Henry the VIII and one of his wives.

I just got my “Big Fat Check” today, 29 cents! I’m losing my shopping online touch

I love the patterned hospital gowns they use that look like kitchen curtains

Apparently Jovi can’t drink on the job so he must remain sober for a month at a time. We only see “off duty Jovi” who must start drinking on the flight home to NoLa and continues to do so throughout his time off.

In the early 60’s, our pamphlet was called “Growing Up and Liking It”, as if we had no choice

That's because he was fucking cheap! and resembled a wad of phlegm. The Mucinex guy!

I thought it was symbolic of their birth control practice

“Mommy, can I please get an advance on my allowance to buy a pregnancy test for my girlfriend?”

And idiots fucking. Brandon looks like one of those squeaky clean teenagers whose mother has to drive him to his Summer job at a theme park

And spanking her phone! What was it she was angrily whacking at on the ground in next week’s preview? Edited to add: does Stephanie think using profanity makes her seem young and cool?

She’s rather...unfortunate looking, but she speaks English well and seems to have much more of a personality than flat line Hazel

This could be his DUI mug shot

5 minutes to get to page 1000

Elaine bought up the last ones

And Phexxi!

Brandon, Stephanie has a whole drawer full of condoms I’m sure she’d give you if you’re grateful enough

Which foreign fiancée are you referring to?

Even my husband commented on that!

If this doesn’t convince you to sign up for D+, nothing will...

My friend just adopted an adorable rescue pup that came with the name GiGi. She planned to change the dog’s name anyway but it became imperative when a Chinese friend told her that’s what Chinese women call their vagina.