liqidclark

I only want to agree that Brooke is the worst person, in the hope that she might read this and wake the fuck up. YOU WHINE TOO FUCKING MUCH ABOUT FUCKING EVERYTHING! And it's not cute.

This was a lot better than I expected, maybe because the pros are likable people and I only watch the Challenge kids (yes, they're "kids" forever to me, even when they're in their 40s) to see them get their comeuppance. This time, it's actually interesting to see who is the best athlete, because there are legitimately respectable athletes involved. Even the drama is better with the pros, since they aren't in there trying to be villains, trying to behave like shit-goblins for screen time like the "kids" always do. I can be in the kitchen making a sandwich when I hear Camillanator in a rage and not even stop to go see why she's raging anymore, but when the pros fight, it's genuinely interesting. The fact that they're trying not to lose their shit on each other is making the psychological part of the show seem fresh again. That said, I love the psycho-heptath lady so much already. I'm even going to google her name: Louise Hazel. Her monologue about how it would have been theoretically possible to say Lolo's name, regardless of what the lime read, if one were so inclined was perfection. She's like a Bond villain with that accent.

Nah.

Ugh, Jenna was an obvious troll in the first episode. And she got her spectacular fight scene, a fame-zombie's dream come true. She ruined the whole season, and is probably proud of herself. How sad that the show's producers enabled her that way. (Isn't she the type they usually throw on their Troll Girls Club show, anyway?) I don't think we got to know most of the cast (because of the troll). Who is Dean? He seemed interesting, but all I remember is his divorce. All I remember about Sabrina is her adoption. I don't know anything about what's-her-mug with the dark hair, but I guess she and Dione were just comic relief, anyway. Forgot Chris existed after his rogue journalism episode. So many characters who seemed like they were barely introduced over the course of the entire season -- but I guess they'll be back for The Challenge, so there's that. Ceejai is a hero. Her story and how she grew from tragedy is undeniably amazing. Her openmindedness and patience on this show was admirable. I think she handled production's pet troll as well as humanly possible. I cheered that a villain was defeated on a reality show, for once, and I hope to see more cast members like Ceejai in future shows (before the entire genre is completely overrun by dime-a-dozen psychopaths).

Yeah, this cast is not very appealing, except for maybe as eye candy. That's the one plus with all the kids from that other show, they are all clearly cast the way that porn performers are cast. But that means they also suck at acting. That scene that girl contrived about crushing on Wes was awful, IMO. It looked to me like he was corpsing because she was so unconvincing. The non-twisty twist disappointed me, too. Nothing happened, and we had to re-recap two rival stories when they were having drinks? Really? But the twists are generally a good addition, IMO. The show's just more fun to watch when the cast can't predict the game. I like that the survivors from the jungle-duel-whatever-pit choose the order in the next challenge. Can't remember if that's ever been done before.

Okay, I have to admit the songs for each of them at the end were clever. And what exactly were we smoking when we made the intro with the five dollar bill graphics? I just want to understand the inspiration for the ... whatever that was. I can't decide if it was just bizarre or bizarrely hilarious. I think my favorite part of the drama is when the sanctimonious ones were lecturing about how it was wrong to throw glass picture frames after complaining about having a drinking glass thrown at you. The part where one of them threw picture frames back didn't register in their brains. Or maybe they just think that, while two wrongs don't make a right, three wrongs somehow do. Regarding the season in general, I pretty much only liked watching Jazmyn and Jaimee annoy the oldbies, and skipped or muted every scene they weren't in until Hanan and Suha showed up. That was the best part of the season, IMO, from when the Ibrahim sisters arrived until they left. I don't really even want to see any more of the fake-sister-ex-lovers con-job routine on the reunion. It's just so obviously contrived, I can't care if they fight or make up or any of that. I know the whole show is contrived to an extent, but I just can't suspend disbelief with those two. It comes off like they planned and scripted every moment. They need to take more improv classes or something.

Can they all just please fuck each other, and move on to actual stories? It's not suspenseful waiting to see which genitals will make contact. The GO BIG theme isn't working, either, because the missions are too easy for famewhores with nothing to lose and nothing to live for. Make them babysit eight kids for a weekend. Ask them to donate all their belongings to charity. You know, actually test them. Don't challenge a stripper and an aspiring stripper to put on a strip show. They'll do that, anyway, if you just dangle some liquor bottles in front of their faces. It seems like nothing interesting is going to happen until Jenna gets sent home or Adoption Girl meets her bio-mom. The rest is just the same episode over and over, IMO.

I have some questions. First, what is the big deal, Jenna? Second, what is the big deal, Chris? And finally, what is the big deal, Real World producers? Is Jenna's exposure the big deal? Is Chris's exposure as the one who exposed Jenna the big deal? Or is the show's exposure as the organization that exposed Chris for exposing Jenna the big deal? And if any of that is a big deal, why did the only rational cast member, Ceejai, point out that everyone already knows exposure is a standard part of this process? And why, after pointing that out, is it all still a big deal? In conclusion, what is this episode even about?

They locked Rail in the backyard, and have shown very little of him on the feeds all day. Now, they've given the other HGs a Twitter Mirror so they can post pics and promote themselves on social media. Rail is not part of this. Production knows exactly how to punish him.

This show is so intensely dumb. Shouldn't it be funny, at least? How do I laugh when they're so dumb that it's sad? Also, next season has started filming and it's called Real World: Mentally Challenged Homeless People Locked Inside A Wholesale Liquor Store While We Flash Strobe Lights At Them.

So this is what happens when they fuck up the entire show for a season, eh? I don't think it's worth watching the rest, if after spending extra time to edit, they're still resorting to grotesque celebrations of assholery and injuries. The story this season is basically about how the show fell apart due to bad casting and production design. It's disappointing and gross, and I'm out.

Well, I clapped when I saw a handcuff hit a dumb ho in the face. That's the most entertaining thing that's happened so far this season, so thanks Blurry Girls.

Kailah is maybe the most starved for attention. Everything she did in this episode was just about creating a scandalous story for herself. She was so eager to confess (read: brag) to her friend the morning after performing softcore porn, but she also made a big scene of feigning embarrassment when Racism Girl was immature enough (according to Kailah) to keep talking about the softcore porn. Then it's Racism Girl who is immature for requesting basic respect from a couple adults? Yeah, okay, Sex For Fame Girl, whatever you need to say to keep the cameras pointed at your desperate mug. I only like Ceejai. That's not enough to enjoy this show. And none of the Go Big stunts are going to impress me, because most of the cast members don't seem capable of normal human emotions in the first place, and they probably won't have to actually struggle with any of it when faced with the possible devastation of NO LONGER BEING ON TELEVISION! OMG!

Racism Girl seemed to be trying too hard, like she wanted to push that big moment where someone confronts her and she gets to defend herself in a big dumb cat-fight. Looks like she gets it, eventually, too. Congrats? I was creeped out by the dude who was really eager to just overlook Racism Girl's racism in order to bang her. There are other girls to bang, especially with cameras following them everywhere. Why these hamsters so often resort to in-house incest, I dunno -- well, I guess there's always some looming "Exes" version of The Challenge to keep in mind. Still, creepy dude hopefully gets laid elsewhere. I don't really need to see a story about him using the token she-tool as a sex doll. Seems like nothing else really happened because half the episode was about jumping out of hot-air balloons. TLDR: Contrived stunts and bigotry.

I thought it was pretty funny when Makeup Girl tried to get everyone to duck and hide on the train. Did she think the camera crew would hide, too? Surely, she's just contriving memorable TV moments at all times rather than racing, but if you pretend it's real then she's funny for a second or two.

So I like that the Brains are so clearly cold and calculating machines who can still laugh about how they are being cold and calculating machines. They're playing hard, but not taking it too seriously. Neal delivered his line about conspirators needing to be "punished" perfectly. I vote Neal for confessional narrator. Peter came off like a complete asshole. I thought he was just snarky. Maybe he was flailing at tribal because he knew he was a goner. I thought that about Jenny last time. Who would do that type of shit if they still thought they had a shot in the game? But still, Peter came off like a complete asshole before TC anyway. Liz came off like she absolutely couldn't process social cues, like a literal robot. I'm trying to figure out what was shown of her that would foreshadow that as such a huge part of her downfall. I thought she seemed observant in the first episode, and tactful in the second episode. In this episode, she's oblivious. That was a good surprise edit. End paragraph. Nick is the Liz of his tribe. Tai is the best. Around. Jeff was never going to keep him down. I didn't get the impression that he was forced to help with the chicken. I thought he chose to participate to make sure it was done humanely and respectfully, and to sort of honor the sacrifice of life to sustain life. Cydney is hustling like crazy on her tribe. I hope she makes it far just so I can watch her maneuver around a larger group.

Nikki is reality TV gold, no exaggeration. Tim is a better performer than Jase, and their shtick is pretty much the same. It's not even a difficult decision. The Bros: Of course they knew they were being cast together in some way. I like forcing them to play together, especially since they're the alpha male stereotype. The strategic advantages and disadvantages that come with that stereotype are going to be much more severe for them. I think losing that first HOH was a good move. They might be smart to suggest that BB will let them play individually at some point, and try to use that as a selling point to build alliances. The rest of them were also people who were there. Nobody stood out in a bad way to me, so that's cool.

Abortionists, you guys. Abortionists. They really fucking are pushing the propaganda that they're fighting against people who just love abortions. Oh, Louisiana... And then in the comments for that article, people are just arguing irrelevant bullshit over which political party is the best. People present rational arguments as to why these regulations don't actually help, and then other people just say something like, "I thought you liberals love regulations!" Half of them aren't even engaging in the actual discussion. They're just trying to score points against the opposing team, like it's fucking football. Jesus Christ. Meanwhile, some teenage girl is reaching for a coat hanger. SMH

Oh, now there's ants there. ANTS MY BUTT. I think she would have done it herself if Joe hadn't wasted the kerosene and the matches. She also suggested a method of getting the fire started and Joe was like, "I'm taking care of it, LIZ." Then we saw him complaining in a confessional that Liz was a silly know-it-all. He was so irritated that all her ideas were "kindergarten", since of course all of his ideas are great. Projection. I guess she could've just said "JOE MY BUTT" and tried to start the fire despite him being a control freak, but I doubt that would've lessened the conflict between them. The dude seemed like his ego was wounded because he fucked up the fire supplies. If Liz had busted out a fire right then, Joe would've hated on her even harder for showing him up. I think Liz was smart to go off on her own and vent. Let the guy keep thinking he knows everything, let him piss everyone else off, too.

I mean, they had to have found out about that by the time they decided to highlight Debbie saying she can tell if water is clean just by looking at it. That's too funny to not have been an intentional joke.

And this is a behavior very typical of codependent personalities. Gus "helps" people as a way to control them, hoping they'll continue to need him. It's a heavy blow to his ego if these attempts to "help" are not appreciated.

The way I interpreted the ending was that Gus did respond. He wants the romance whether or not it's real or healthy. Mickey confessed that she shouldn't be in a relationship, and Gus kissed her anyway because he needed comfort. And Mickey went to meet him there, probably hoping for sex, despite realizing she should be alone. I didn't find it ambiguous at all. I saw it as more confirmation that their relationship is codependent. That's why I expect that the story will not be about them falling in love with each other, but more about their failed attempts to use love as a pacifier, to delude themselves with romance in order to avoid their personal issues. The most likely resolution, IMO, would be that they realize they're using each other and go their separate ways, and at best they might stay close friends. I don't think Mickey needs a specific reason to fall for anyone. She just has a very hard time facing herself. Love and sex are drugs for her, and Gus was in the right/wrong place at the right time. I think something similar is happening with Gus, because he also succumbed to the illusion of romance in the end, even though he seemed to become more and more disenchanted with Mickey after the magic date. As soon as he felt fragile and lonely again, he chose to believe in the illusion (true love) even though Mickey was pointing out the magician's trick (love/sex addiction and codependency) to his face. His ex-girlfriend had to pretend to cheat on him in order to wake him from the illusion that they were in love. I think Mickey and Gus are both people who feel they need love to survive and will cling to any relationship that even slightly resembles it.

I remember specifically hearing some marketing lingo about how viewers were expected to see Mickey as the messed-up one and then come to realize that Gus is as messed up in his own ways. I'm pretty sure the show isn't trying to make any of the characters likable or unlikable, as much as it's trying to show how confusing and messy relationships can be. The message I've gotten so far is that everyone is fucked up and codependent and very not in control of their own romantic lives. It's like "LOVE" is a story about how true romance is a fantasy. The happiest relationships on the show seem to be platonic friendships, so maybe that's the kind of love this show is really highlighting. I don't expect the show to really be about Mickey and Gus falling into love over time. For Mickey to progress, she needs to work on her relationships in general while probably avoiding romance. For Gus to progress, he needs to stop living in a fantasy world and accept that life isn't romantic. Or something like that. But anyway, to me the first season showed people using love like a drug to cope with life, mostly ineffectively. It wasn't about them falling in love, just about them struggling to exist in a world that tells them falling in love together can magically make their individual problems disappear. And so they try to force it. But Mickey can't just fuck herself out of her problems, and Gus can't fantasize his way through life. The show has to be about them learning to really understand and love themselves, I think. Because I don't get any message that these two characters, or anyone else, are "meant for each other" in any romantic way -- even if they do like the same rug. And I liked it. That's a story I want to keep watching, especially if it keeps making me laugh as much as the first season did.

Yeah, I gotta disagree with the idea that Caleb is more likable in one episode so far of Survivor because the editing is somehow more honest or humane than the editing on Big Brother. We have no idea what really went down on Survivor, ever. On Big Brother, the edit is the only reason it was possible to like Caleb, IMO. They reduced him to a harmless clown on the broadcast episodes, when the full view on live feeds showed he's a massive toolbag. He's a good person to laugh at, though, to look better than when you stand next to him. He makes a great sacrificial goat, so I expect he was taken as far on Survivor as he was on BB. But he doesn't seem any different to me so far, anyway. We saw like five minutes of him, in which he was sometimes okay, sometimes should've kept his foot in his mouth -- and apparently he instinctively used another human's head as a handle to pull himself off of a boat in a hurry. I'm not too worried that the impression I got of this dude, from watching a bajillion hours of him on Big Brother, is going to change much.

I think the thing about Bananas that gets people to listen to him is that production keeps pointing cameras at him. The rest of the cast, once they get to know him, seem to think he's a joke. It's common knowledge that there's no point even engaging with him in conversation, because he'll spin anything to mean anything he wants. The guy is completely full of shit, basically. But he's one of BM/MTV's "stars" so the others are stuck with him. It's like production has decided that dealing with John is just part of the challenge design each season. He's almost like the boss's son, so you just have to work with the asshole.