liqidclark

I only want to agree that Brooke is the worst person, in the hope that she might read this and wake the fuck up. YOU WHINE TOO FUCKING MUCH ABOUT FUCKING EVERYTHING! And it's not cute.

This was a lot better than I expected, maybe because the pros are likable people and I only watch the Challenge kids (yes, they're "kids" forever to me, even when they're in their 40s) to see them get their comeuppance. This time, it's actually interesting to see who is the best athlete, because there are legitimately respectable athletes involved. Even the drama is better with the pros, since they aren't in there trying to be villains, trying to behave like shit-goblins for screen time like the "kids" always do. I can be in the kitchen making a sandwich when I hear Camillanator in a rage and not even stop to go see why she's raging anymore, but when the pros fight, it's genuinely interesting. The fact that they're trying not to lose their shit on each other is making the psychological part of the show seem fresh again. That said, I love the psycho-heptath lady so much already. I'm even going to google her name: Louise Hazel. Her monologue about how it would have been theoretically possible to say Lolo's name, regardless of what the lime read, if one were so inclined was perfection. She's like a Bond villain with that accent.

Nah.

Ugh, Jenna was an obvious troll in the first episode. And she got her spectacular fight scene, a fame-zombie's dream come true. She ruined the whole season, and is probably proud of herself. How sad that the show's producers enabled her that way. (Isn't she the type they usually throw on their Troll Girls Club show, anyway?) I don't think we got to know most of the cast (because of the troll). Who is Dean? He seemed interesting, but all I remember is his divorce. All I remember about Sabrina is her adoption. I don't know anything about what's-her-mug with the dark hair, but I guess she and Dione were just comic relief, anyway. Forgot Chris existed after his rogue journalism episode. So many characters who seemed like they were barely introduced over the course of the entire season -- but I guess they'll be back for The Challenge, so there's that. Ceejai is a hero. Her story and how she grew from tragedy is undeniably amazing. Her openmindedness and patience on this show was admirable. I think she handled production's pet troll as well as humanly possible. I cheered that a villain was defeated on a reality show, for once, and I hope to see more cast members like Ceejai in future shows (before the entire genre is completely overrun by dime-a-dozen psychopaths).

Yeah, this cast is not very appealing, except for maybe as eye candy. That's the one plus with all the kids from that other show, they are all clearly cast the way that porn performers are cast. But that means they also suck at acting. That scene that girl contrived about crushing on Wes was awful, IMO. It looked to me like he was corpsing because she was so unconvincing. The non-twisty twist disappointed me, too. Nothing happened, and we had to re-recap two rival stories when they were having drinks? Really? But the twists are generally a good addition, IMO. The show's just more fun to watch when the cast can't predict the game. I like that the survivors from the jungle-duel-whatever-pit choose the order in the next challenge. Can't remember if that's ever been done before.

Okay, I have to admit the songs for each of them at the end were clever. And what exactly were we smoking when we made the intro with the five dollar bill graphics? I just want to understand the inspiration for the ... whatever that was. I can't decide if it was just bizarre or bizarrely hilarious. I think my favorite part of the drama is when the sanctimonious ones were lecturing about how it was wrong to throw glass picture frames after complaining about having a drinking glass thrown at you. The part where one of them threw picture frames back didn't register in their brains. Or maybe they just think that, while two wrongs don't make a right, three wrongs somehow do. Regarding the season in general, I pretty much only liked watching Jazmyn and Jaimee annoy the oldbies, and skipped or muted every scene they weren't in until Hanan and Suha showed up. That was the best part of the season, IMO, from when the Ibrahim sisters arrived until they left. I don't really even want to see any more of the fake-sister-ex-lovers con-job routine on the reunion. It's just so obviously contrived, I can't care if they fight or make up or any of that. I know the whole show is contrived to an extent, but I just can't suspend disbelief with those two. It comes off like they planned and scripted every moment. They need to take more improv classes or something.

Can they all just please fuck each other, and move on to actual stories? It's not suspenseful waiting to see which genitals will make contact. The GO BIG theme isn't working, either, because the missions are too easy for famewhores with nothing to lose and nothing to live for. Make them babysit eight kids for a weekend. Ask them to donate all their belongings to charity. You know, actually test them. Don't challenge a stripper and an aspiring stripper to put on a strip show. They'll do that, anyway, if you just dangle some liquor bottles in front of their faces. It seems like nothing interesting is going to happen until Jenna gets sent home or Adoption Girl meets her bio-mom. The rest is just the same episode over and over, IMO.

I have some questions. First, what is the big deal, Jenna? Second, what is the big deal, Chris? And finally, what is the big deal, Real World producers? Is Jenna's exposure the big deal? Is Chris's exposure as the one who exposed Jenna the big deal? Or is the show's exposure as the organization that exposed Chris for exposing Jenna the big deal? And if any of that is a big deal, why did the only rational cast member, Ceejai, point out that everyone already knows exposure is a standard part of this process? And why, after pointing that out, is it all still a big deal? In conclusion, what is this episode even about?

They locked Rail in the backyard, and have shown very little of him on the feeds all day. Now, they've given the other HGs a Twitter Mirror so they can post pics and promote themselves on social media. Rail is not part of this. Production knows exactly how to punish him.

This show is so intensely dumb. Shouldn't it be funny, at least? How do I laugh when they're so dumb that it's sad? Also, next season has started filming and it's called Real World: Mentally Challenged Homeless People Locked Inside A Wholesale Liquor Store While We Flash Strobe Lights At Them.

So this is what happens when they fuck up the entire show for a season, eh? I don't think it's worth watching the rest, if after spending extra time to edit, they're still resorting to grotesque celebrations of assholery and injuries. The story this season is basically about how the show fell apart due to bad casting and production design. It's disappointing and gross, and I'm out.

Well, I clapped when I saw a handcuff hit a dumb ho in the face. That's the most entertaining thing that's happened so far this season, so thanks Blurry Girls.

Kailah is maybe the most starved for attention. Everything she did in this episode was just about creating a scandalous story for herself. She was so eager to confess (read: brag) to her friend the morning after performing softcore porn, but she also made a big scene of feigning embarrassment when Racism Girl was immature enough (according to Kailah) to keep talking about the softcore porn. Then it's Racism Girl who is immature for requesting basic respect from a couple adults? Yeah, okay, Sex For Fame Girl, whatever you need to say to keep the cameras pointed at your desperate mug. I only like Ceejai. That's not enough to enjoy this show. And none of the Go Big stunts are going to impress me, because most of the cast members don't seem capable of normal human emotions in the first place, and they probably won't have to actually struggle with any of it when faced with the possible devastation of NO LONGER BEING ON TELEVISION! OMG!

Racism Girl seemed to be trying too hard, like she wanted to push that big moment where someone confronts her and she gets to defend herself in a big dumb cat-fight. Looks like she gets it, eventually, too. Congrats? I was creeped out by the dude who was really eager to just overlook Racism Girl's racism in order to bang her. There are other girls to bang, especially with cameras following them everywhere. Why these hamsters so often resort to in-house incest, I dunno -- well, I guess there's always some looming "Exes" version of The Challenge to keep in mind. Still, creepy dude hopefully gets laid elsewhere. I don't really need to see a story about him using the token she-tool as a sex doll. Seems like nothing else really happened because half the episode was about jumping out of hot-air balloons. TLDR: Contrived stunts and bigotry.

I thought it was pretty funny when Makeup Girl tried to get everyone to duck and hide on the train. Did she think the camera crew would hide, too? Surely, she's just contriving memorable TV moments at all times rather than racing, but if you pretend it's real then she's funny for a second or two.