Callaphera

The Last Laugh is the Kathy Griffin twist of the week: a phone was put into the house. The seventh person to answer the phone got a special advantage to nullify three votes of their choosing on the live show. But like all BB twists, it just kind of floundered and fizzled out (unless Da'Vonne pulls a miracle out of her butt, but she ruined that by telling Jason about her twin suspicion).

Accepting and acknowledging that you have a problem is the first step. I've never managed to make it to Step 2.

When it comes to Big Brother, it's like an addiction to me. I have live feed updates open on my computer all day, Jokers discussion forum, this forum, even when I'm not watching the feeds. And last night before I called it a night, I did one last check of Jokers because, like I said, I'm an addict and I needed one last hit before I turned in. And I was mightily rewarded. I think this moment got missed during the great Liz/Julia weight debate (they're both thin, healthy looking, beautiful women): Really, Clay? I didn't realize that foreign versions of BB were so dangerous, they had highways running through their houses. Or maybe he thought their ghosts were playing. I don't know. This kid did graduate from college, right?

Oh, I don't know. They could show the actual puppet strings hanging from the ceiling and I would probably still watch this show. It's a summer tradition at this point. I put up with all the shenanigans every season. I expect them to keep things like this vague, because I expect them to use that to their advantage. According to Jokers, Shelli said that Da'Vonne got the 7th call when looking at the memory wall. So they must have done all seven in a row. Stupid.

Either he's completely unobservant or he knows and just isn't saying anything. If he's worked it out, he might also have worked out that if the twins make it to a certain point, he'll gain an extra ally. Is he a BB fan? He seems to know other reality shows. I'll be completely honest, when Austin is on the feeds, I'm usually enjoying the shirtlessness and the constant working out. I'm not always listening to what he has to say. He's my eye candy for the season. Now if he'll just wash his damned hands! All Jeff highlights do is make me miss the trivia questions. I really hate that we're not getting to see the phone. Are they doing all seven calls in a row?

I dunno, I can hear both versions, probably because Jokers has been arguing about it for awhile now. I would hope that if Austin were to hear something like that, he wouldn't make the "lightbulb" face, especially with her so close to him. I'd like to think he's smarter than that. He could have been reacting to something we couldn't see or hear. I'm down for the riot if I miss some elbowing and hair pulling when it comes to answering the phone.

Maybe it's like getting the cable installed. "They said they'd be here at 2 pm! It's 6!"

I could do without Da'Vonne calling one of the twins "the chunky one".

Her and Jason are pretty on point about the differences between them. "The one last night is the friendly one. This one isn't."

All they said was that if they made it to the fifth eviction, both of them could be in the house at the same time. I don't know if they said anything about what happens if they get caught. It's Big Brother, it's better to keep it vague. When all four cameras were on Liz/Julia tanning on the hammock in that teeny bikini, I was wondering how the twins deal with the tan lines. I noticed them on one of the twins on the feeds yesterday, does the other have identical tan lines or makes sure to get them the next day? It sounds like Da'Vonne is now spreading it to James and Meg outside, as well as Jason. But she's gonna "keep it to herself". Um... These Have Nots aren't the brightest. You're on outdoor lockdown. Sleep away. They can't tell you to get into the HN room. Use that lockdown to your advantage! ETA: Oh, Da'Vonne is saying she's going to go to the DR when the lockdown is over and ask about the twin thing. This could finally be getting interesting again.

Sounds like Da'Vonne just told Jason that she suspects Liz of being a twin, due to differences in her face. Boom goes the twin twist? Outdoor lockdown has been called. I wonder if the phone is being installed.

Wait, this happened again? I know the other night he called her body old and withered, and while it sounded like a joke on both of their parts, it bothered her enough that she was refusing to wear a bikini the next day because of his comments. What a winner. I'd be locking his ass out of the HoH room. I'd like to root for Austin, but only if he starts washing his hands after he leaves the bathroom. The horrified expressions and laughter from Jason and Da'Vonne when they witnessed him leave the toilet stall and wander back into the kitchen was priceless, though.

Dear Houseguests, It's only a "house meeting" if it includes the entire house. That was nine people in the Have Not room. That wasn't the house. If you're gonna tell me that you're holding a house meeting, I expect some Devin level stuff, late night in the living room while you cry about your daughter and your integrity. I loved seeing Da'Vonne pop off on Audrey and Jason joining in, but that was not a house meeting. Better luck next time!

Oh, God, I'm gonna have nightmares tonight about this. Ew. One Frankie was one too many. Also it turns out that one Jeff is one too many.

Now there have been two people accused of being America's Player: Audrey was mentioned a few days ago, maybe by Austin? And now Jeff and Shelli think that Vanessa is America's Player. All because there's been no Have Not crappy food brought into the house, voted on by the viewers. Honestly, BB should just do a no twist season because the paranoia these people can produce is enough on its own.

He said that she made mistakes when talking about being a second grade teacher, maybe something to do with certification versus schooling because of the state she lives in? He also said that she had told him that friends of hers were poker dealers, which is how he came to the idea that she is also a poker dealer. Then he made sure to say that while he was sure about the teacher thing, he wasn't certain about her being a poker dealer but that's what he thought (according to the conversation with Becky and Liz today in the brightly coloured bedroom - is there a name for it yet?).

Audrey's probably lounging in Amanda's old bed, waiting for Shelli to bring her another sandwich. How long does it take to get prettied up in this house? I swear, Da'Vonne has been in the bathroom, in the mirror, for at least an hour if not more.

Shelli to Liz/Austin: Don't say that you're going up because we don't want Da'Vonne campaigning early. I haven't told anyone but Clay. I'm not going to tell anyone else. (ten minutes later) Liz, crying to Becky: I don't wanna go up on the block!

Part of me hopes that Shelli got called into the DR because she told Liz that she's going up as the replacement and they're going to pull out that old "you can't notify people they're going up" rule that they use when they need it, just to keep the twin twist going. Would Shelli even have a backup nomination?

Ugh. I just saw Austin walk out of the bathroom and not wash his hands. There's one every year, isn't there?

I hate that we're getting an extended fish sequence now that Austin and Liz have gone up to the HoH room. I wanted to hear that conversation. They couldn't be calling for the Veto meeting already, could they? ETA: Nope, of course not. We're back and missed part of that conversation. Stupid.

The conversation with Shelli and Clay and whoever walks in the HoH is already boring me. They've decided on Liz. Whatever. Watching them try to dress Giselle the blow up giraffe downstairs is way more entertaining.

Are they really asking John to NOT use the POV on himself?! Crazy. He's an idiot to keep himself up there.

Have the ants made their annual pilgrimage up to the HoH room yet? I'd probably DOR because of the ants. That's just wrong.

I laughed seeing poor sad sack Audrey, shoveling her cereal into her mouth, tucked in the corner of the bathroom. Why do these people eat in the bathroom? It's not the first time I've seen it this season. Of course, it's probably the cleanest place in the house. I think Liz/Julia have done three cleaning runs through the bathroom in the past 24 hours.