Callaphera

This season blows.

Dan Gheesling and Jedi Janie are confirmed for the cast of The Traitors US S2. Entertainment Weekly

I'd pay to watch Julianne Hough host the show without a script. ETA: To bring it back on topic before I get a spanking (not that I'm against that, everything is negotiable) - America and Cory were having some under-the-covers action with the rigored corpse of Meme also in the room. Still haven't seen her move, still don't believe she's alive. This is my grassy knoll this season.

Bolding mine. I don't know if I would worry about Dancing with the Stars - they're under WGA rules (maybe? it was a recent find and my info is from last night) and should be a struck production so now they're probably going to be picketed.

Y'know, sometimes when big medium sized things happen, I feel a little bummed that I'm not that into this season and thus have basically dropped the feeds and I'm just following along. But then I come across shit like and suddenly I'm very proud of myself for prioritizing my mental health and practicing good self-care. Gold star for me.

Well I was going to say that the excitement of last week cleared my skin, made my hair nice and shiny, and cured my stomach flu but then I saw who won HoH so I guess all the glory goes back to the Gatorade and decades of sleep. I am sorry to have missed the brief, shining moment that 90% of the viewers realized that they were rooting for Fucking Bowie Jane. That must have been a trip. So close to having an HOLA, JULIE! Jessica moment.

ETA: WAIT. It makes sense. They both play atrociously. Never mind, I see the resemblance. They're practically twins.

There's a point in my life where I would have chosen the cutout, too. But I was twenty and Las Vegas had just started airing on NBC and I had just broken up with my boyfriend so at least I would have had an excuse, Matt.

It's okay, Jag is this year's block rocking cockroach - he never dies, even when you whack him with a shoe 10 times. I swear that was going somewhere and then poof. Don't smoke weed, kids. Or smoke copious amounts. I don't care, I'm not your mom.

I haven't been able to pull out my timer all season. I'm totally down for this plan.

Yeah, I don't think I'll be getting up early to see this one. But still, since the America Stan Train has at least one more stop before the end of the line:

If Jared wasn't so abhorrent, he might actually be funny. Or at least I might find some joy in laughing at him. The only way he could make me laugh now is to either get evicted from the Big Brother house or evicted from Cirie's golden child status. I know we ask every year but: please, BB Gods? A house fire? A UFO blasting the house away? We wake up the next day and Bobby Ewing is in the shower and all is right with the world again, surprise it's a month before Big Brother starts and Jared found himself unable to come? ...I wouldn't be against the last one, tbh. Dallas was a little before my time but Patrick Duffy was a hunk.

I'm still not convinced that Meme is even alive. I've literally never seen her moving or talking on the feeds - I think I saw her kinda lurking in the background once but I swear, she never moved. I need a HG to hold a mirror under her nose while she's sleeping to see if she's breathing because I know robotics and AI are getting good but I didn't know they were that good yet. Or just poke her with a stick or something. Anything.

Replace Cirie with BB16's Raven and her son with... I dunno, a pack of pork chops and a pound of Velveeta and I'd probably be saying that. Even half-cooked, those pork chops will be less offensive than Jared. Wouldn't last as long either. Fuck it, #TeamPorkChop. It'll be like when the media pitted a head of lettuce against the British PM and the lettuce lasted longer.

Fucking Bowie Jane I hear she's in the running to dethrone the reigning cockblock champion.

Jared had a dream Diary Room session that he went home & where Production told him everyone hates him on feeds. FTFY.

Nah - I was just waiting to see if anyone was going to open up Ye Olde Google because typing in "r word slur" or "r word offensive" gave the right answer. Something something horses and water. Or is it men and fishing. It can be both. It can also be faster sometimes to just throw a few words in the search bar and see what pops up.

*steps on the stan train about to leave the depot.* I'm here for a good time, not a long time.

Ugh. Of course he would use that word.

Apparently Cam told America that he can't control himself around her or won't be able to control himself when they get to the jury house. Which really is America's fault. Females, amirite? I'm pretty sure I saw her bra strap and her knee at one point - how is any red-blooded man supposed to be able to contain himself when a woman is displaying herself like a hussy right in front of him. It's amazing he's managed to hold himself back thus far.

My mental health is nonexistent, so I’ll take the bullet. Jared and Blue were cuddling on the sofa behind the billiards table. Jared and Blue ducked under the blanket. Jared was seen wiping a stain off the sofa. (Hey, at least he’s tidy.) Hazmat teams may or may not have been called. Since then, many people have been sitting on that sofa. Including Cirie. I guess you reap what you sow. Jared used a dry paper towel on a wet, viscous stain on a cloth surface. The motion he used was more of a flat handed wipe instead of a scoop. So you can imagine what his cleaning method produced. And if you didn't, I bet you can go back and find the time stamp because Button Boy zoomed in on it like he was going to win the fucking Emmy for this hard hitting breaking news footage (does news win Emmys? Anyway). This is the doom spiral thinking thing that keeps me up at night. Not the debt, not the cost of ground beef, not why my neighbour's garbage smells like that all the time - the fact that Cirie raised a man child that doesn't know how to clean up after himself and if he can't clean up, I imagine that his sheets can probably stand up on their own until Cirie gathers them for a wash ew gag me with a spoon but really, who's going to sleep with Jared except lots of women would sleep with Jared, that's the sad thing - and that's about the point that I give up and hunt down the last bag of sour cream and cheddar chips for a midnight snack because no one's sleeping once they go down that path. Earlier, Jag and Blue - well, more Blue than Jag, which isn't really that surprising but they really do share maybe ten brain cells between the two of them - put together Cirie's whole everything (minus Jared being her son). Which would normally be exciting but it's Jag and Blue. That's like... a whole Clay when you add them together. It feels like that's where hope goes to die.

Me when Jag starts to put a thought together: Me when Jag completes his thought:

blah blah Jag woke up long enough to steer his car directly into oncoming traffic by telling Matt to be careful of who to tell things to (really, Jag?) and who to trust (really, Jag?) and to be careful what he says to Cirie (REALLY, JAG?) blah. blah blah Blue is moving into the HoH room with Jared isn't it funny that his mom is going to see them touch thingies tee hee hork blah. And this has been Your Big Brother Update.

It'll be a mid-season recast for the HoH furniture. You'll get used to New Darrin a different bed eventually.

You weren't there the night of the cum stain, I guess? Because it matters a lot. To my mental health, anyway.