Eldemarge

He's had this pretty area outside to walk this whole time and he's just now doing it. That makes me sad. I'd be out there every single day!

I'm upset about a cold sore today and Paul is waking up with SEEPING LEGS and couldn't be arsed. Oh dear, here we go with "I made up my own diet" and it's going to be soda, bacon, cheese, 20 eggs, a fast food salad, a bottle of ranch. "I'm doing my best and working hard and I might have slipped up a couple times but I think losing 8 pounds definitely will show Dr. Now that I'm trying my best and I'm serious." Yes, I've seen this show.

At no point did Paul decide to solve his own problem. It's always been 'Well my mom cooks good so she puts food on my plate and I have to eat it!' /SHRUG Dude, you are 35 and can use a stove.

This is wild. I was a slightly chubby little girl and my parents stuck me in gymnastics for four years (though there was still soda and ice cream in the house). Point being, they didn't just shrug and keep over-feeding me and let me sit around doing nothing.

I hope they stick him straight into the hospital.

Okay, y'all. I think Paul is a lost cause. He's headed toward eating himself to death.

I can't do soda for breakfast. I don't know why I'm surprised he doesn't have a normal breakfast meal...

OMG they just did an hour and half. Okay, hear me out: A giant van with a COUCH. Then they could drive the poundticipants to Texas w/o them complaining. Just toss them bags of fast food every hour.

Oh you've literally met my ex, I see.

Please tell me she does not uproot her child from his school and friends to move to Texas with this deep-fried couch man.

I couldn't be in a relationship where all I do is watch him shovel food into his face and then I leave. Did she convince herself she has zero needs so this is okay, I wonder?

It's always "I got too big to work, so I had to quit and I kept eating" and not "I got too big to work so I tried my damndest to lose some weight so I could actually support myself again." ALSO, how does he have a girlfriend? What does have to offer since his "whole life revolves around food"???

If my kids think they're going to move home in their 30s and eat themselves to death while I take care of them, they are MISTAKEN.

I can never figure out this "only food can help with the pain" stuff that we always hear on this show.

Last week was never to be topped, for sure! I ate some cherry pie tonight. Got the eating out of the way before the opening scenes that are always so gross.

Ugh, I missed the whoooole thing because I got invited out by my makeout partner and couldn't turn down some snogging. I will be reading all the comments, though!

It's always this store-bought salad (WITH RANCH) that they get all showy for the cameras with, voice-overing, "I'm sticking to the diet!" Whateverrrrr Well it's been WILD, y'all. That was fun. I don't think we can top this one. Take care, friends!

See kids, this is what happens when you don't stick to the diet! Nasty breakups and homelessness and your stuff ends up in a College Station Goodwill! Spontaneous combustion would be a first but I'm ready.

Oh! We're 6th sense friends. I deal with constant synchronicities myself! Super cool.

This is the LEAST bizarre part of what's going on but I have no idea how they ended up in College Station. It doesn't seem to be on the way...? Anyway. BELONGINGS WERE DONATED! Some lucky child is getting some old cheerios and Dragonball Z sheets for Christmas!

Same, I'm just a poltergeist at this point screaming over and over again.

I had to get a fizzy tequila drink and I'm so glad I was prepared for Meltdown at Gas Station 2021.

Listen, the real issue here is that if she's without a vehicle, she can't get to the drive-thrus.

I'm not her, but I have been known to tell friends that they need to get their shit together if they're acting like helpless children who don't know any better...I definitely appreciate the straight talk if I really need it.

Oh PLEASE, Universe, please make this happen! Wouldn't this be the best thing that ever happened??