SaveLevi

Who is this in the photo?

I'm a psychotherapist specializing in addiction treatment. In the past few years, I have seen a trend toward clients choosing inpatient facilities that are out of town, specifically to Florida (I live on the NE). There are benefits and risks to leaving the area--yes, you are afforded the change to recover away from risky environments, but it's more difficult to involve family in treatment if you're hundreds of miles away. Also, at some point, most people have to return home and sometimes are unprepared for all that comes with it. However, the local rehabs are often revolving doors, with the same clients coming and going, and many triggers are involved with revisiting the same facilities again and again. It becomes part of the cycle. Stats say that it takes the average addict 3-5 goes at treatment before he can experience LT recovery. And really, aside from the family piece, if you're going to do a treatment program, 30-90 days down the block or five states away doesn't really make much different, as far as employment, bills, etc. is concerned. I would probably say that if someone has the opportunity to leave the area, it's not a bad option, again providing that there is some remote involvement with family members, and that a sensible, safe home plan is worked out. If Amber already knows that she is going away for 90 days, sounds like she was referred for D&A treatment at a long-term facility. There is also an increase in the number of trauma-informed inpatient programs popping up. I guess that's what Cate has been doing.

I haven't posted in a Smallville-related forum in years, but had to come find this when I read the story. Jesus Christ. I was a big Chloe fan in the day, and have read or viewed tons of AM interviews, then her blog. She always seemed sweet, but a little bit lost. She appears to have been a perfect target. Unfortunately, you don't get to abuse and destroy other people because you've been hurt yourself. Although I can't say I don't feel sorry for how her life has devolved, she is an extremely dangerous person and should be removed from society for the safety of others. Mostly, i am horrified for her victims.

It was not lost on me that the Buddy beach scene was a conversation between two addicts with different drugs of choice. I believe that Whitney wants Buddy to be healthy and succeed, and it's a shame that she can't get the same kind of help he has gotten. I do have compassion for Whitney, as I believe her issues are very complex and that she's in an incredible amount of denial and pain. She's been enabled for her entire life, and this show just serves to continue the trend. I wondered, what would Whitney think if Buddy got his own show based on his life addicted to alcohol and cocaine, and tried to send the same message about loving himself, calling it a celebration of self-acceptance? Getting healthy and being honest are not goals that develop in spite of loving oneself--they are goals we set BECAUSE we love ourselves, and want to live our most authentic, fulfilling life. Simply, admitting that you're too heavy is not about self-shame, it's about caring enough to get your act together. Which, look, is not easy--if it were, we wouldn't have an epidemic of addiction. And make no mistake--Whitney and Buddy are NO different when it comes to being addicts. That said, I may be alone in this, but I do genuinely think Whitney is a good person. She just needs a kick in the ass and a good dose of reality. She has not learned to accept life on life's terms, but rather has tried to manipulate the world to accommodate her unhealthy behavior. Like most addicts, she's entitled and doesn't like to be told NO. In the end, yes, it's her life and if she's happy, whatever, but it's really frustrating to watch it all unfold so sadly.

I've been a psychotherapist for many years. I currently work in a prison. David is the scariest motherfucker I've ever seen.

I don't actually! I moved to PA in 2005. I live in Bucks County now, but my parents still live on SI, so I visit now and then. Sort of by the zoo. :)

I'm a little older than Amber, but Wu-Tang was super popular back in the day. Of course, I'm from Staten Island, so...

Kail pulled a real shit move on Javi. I understand that his wheels have been spinning and his emotional state has deteriorated over the past few months. However, legal right or not, his showing up to the house was super creepy. Just because he can't be arrested for it doesn't mean he should feel free to pop up unannounced like a herpes outbreak. My girl Vee is not here for Kail, and I LOVE it. Jo is bending over backwards (or as far back as he can get, is he eating his feelings?) to try and please Kail for the sake of peace, but it's a little bit much. Kail created this drama and while I applaud Jo's support for Isaac's sake, I also see why Vee has had it with his blind loyalty. Vee is clearly over Kail, I need to see more of that.

It's weird. Nathan and David often seem to get long fine. There's no way in HELL my husband's ex would tell their kids to even acknowledge my existence, let alone ask them to say good-bye and I love you. It's very odd how civil they appear to be. Even David's response to Nathan's drunken "I'm moving to England" text in the previews was pretty neutral and he could've been a real dick about it. Sometimes I think if David didn't have such a shady past, maybe it would be good for him to take control of the situation because Jenelle is so volatile. Then he comes out with some shit-stirring nonsense like "NATHAN ISN'T COMING HERE" for no fucking reason other than to be a dick. I don't know, all these people make me nuts.

This is so incredibly offensive that I actually forgot what I came here to post. Hats off!

I agree with Vee's sentiment. BTDT. But to file some paperwork or ask Kail to sign something while the Javi crap is blowing up would probably be asking for trouble. I don't think Jo is paying child support, or at least it's under what the court-ordered amount would be. Now that Javi's income is gone, you know Jo's got to be worried that Kail will try to get more support out of hime. Isaac is still very young, and that's a LOT of years to pay. Jo may actually have to get a job. Horror! So wait, Jenelle and David are upset because Nathan's mother took Kaiser to church but Nathan wasn't there? That's it? I was waiting for more to that story, like Nathan dropped Kaiser off for the whole weekend. "I just found out that Nathan took a shit while Kaiser was there. He should be shitting on his own time, that's not how you spend your visitation!" FF'd through Chelsea's stuff. Who cares. Leah at least seems sober.

You're so right, yet I'm not shocked at Javi's behavior. I remember a previous season when Javi had his panties in a bunch because Kail got a text from some guy before going to a concert with friends, and in return Javi refused to take Isaac to Jo's as he had agreed to do. He said some shit about Isaac not being his responsibility. He went cold so fast when shit got messy.

Jenelle is just such a mentally ill individual. She fully buys into her own bullshit and delusion. It's sad and scary. Poor kids. Chelsea whatever. Kail...there's clearly a shitton more going on than we know about. I think Javi sounded cold, but this is about a LOT more than babies. I do think Kail is really saying, "I don't want more kids WITH YOU." I feel so sorry for poor Isaac. Leah, you don't get to dictate how Jeremy spends his time with his kid. It sucks, maybe, but it's just reality. She may be over drama with Miranda, but she's going hard with this new chick. Also, while she looks too thin, I'll say that she doesn't look cracked out. It makes sense that she was/is dating a personal trainer, but she needs to increase her caloric intake as she's looking 35 instead of 25. Her arms looked good, though. Nice little tone.

We do daughter/"special person" events here (Bucks County, PA). Adam is so dumb that I could conceive of him not understanding the meaning of this and having no idea it involved him.

It really saddened me to hear anyone refer to Miranda as "lazy bitch." She's a first-time mom with a preemie and two difficult stepdaughters who have a sick mother. Miranda isn't perfect--who is?--but she's got a lot to manage and it seems like she does a very adequate job. I'm a stepmother to a child with special needs. My husband has primary custody. I've been accused of all sorts of things over the years--sometimes, there was some truth but kids are not reliable sources much of the time. Their perceptions are valid, but there needs to be some realism applied. In these contentious situations re: custody, every little word, action, and decision is put under the microscope and analyzed to death. It's exhausting. Parents aren't perfect, and if you're looking to catch a mistake, you'd probably find one. Jenelle's list-o-symptoms was longer than her rap sheet. Listening to her and David have a conversation is really mind-numbing. Where and when the relationship went wrong for Javi and Kail I don't know, but those two really ought to call it a day. They're both miserable and the relationship is extremely toxic. My older daughter's father needs a lot of prompting to be involved. I know that I shouldn't HAVE to do it, but it's for my child. When you choose a less-than-stellar person to be a parent to your kid, you have to take some responsibility and step up if that's what is necessary for your child to feel loved and supported. My husband is Dad in almost every sense, but she wants her biological father involved despite his shittiness. Chelsea was thirsty for Adam's attention both for her AND for Aubree until she met Cole--now she wants to erase Adam and frankly, that's not how it works.

There's an audible snort/sniffing sound when Barb goes to the bedroom door. Again a few seconds later. Coincidence? Maybe. But I definitely heard it. Leah looks awful in the after show. Yikes. The baby voices are torturous. Lincoln is awesome.

The social worker WAS inappropriate. I was a medical social worker a few years back--there really is no good reason to grill the parents the way she did. I get that she needs to confirm custody and whatnot for purposes of charting, but a simple "you can just let us know if anything changes going forward" would've sufficed. I'm thinking that MTV asked her to dig further, which is even more repugnant because ethics should require her to tell the producers to fuck off. However, most hospital employees without a stethoscope get slapped with the "social worker" label, so who can be sure what her title really was. Leah definitely seemed alert and sober this episode. Maybe she has truly cleaned up her act. I hope so! I feel really sorry for Aubree. Adam is her father, crappy though he may be, and his character partly informs the way she will develop her own. So it's in Aubree's best interest for Chelsea to at LEAST leave negative the comments at the door if she can't say anything nice. Constantly reminding Aubree what a POS Adam is does nothing but reinforce Aubree's confusion about him and what it means for her to have a "bad" dad. My oldest daughter's father is a jet-setter who's 44 going on 21, has zero parenting abilities, and only sees her a few times per year. He does pay CS religiously and generously, which she also knows. She thinks the world of him and I never, ever speak negatively about him to her. My husband is her dad is every sense, and they have a great relationship, but her biological father is "Daddy" and I have zero investment in taking that from her in any manner, despite what I would prefer. I certainly don't presume that all women (or persons of any gender, really) should show emotion in an ambiguously normative manner, but damn, Kail was straight holding back smiles at times during the episode. She is thrilled to see Javi's ass go. I really think the openly somber reaction was for Isaac's tears, and nothing more. Jenelle is a mess.

What a mess. Leah is so sad. I can't hate on Drew for not confronting her about the substance use, because that's really not a therapist's job. You can't force someone to grapple with something s/he isn't ready to deal with but you can help to create a safe situation where negative behaviors are managed. Kind of like a harm-reduction approach. I do wish that Corey would've just spoken his mind, "monkey" or not. How stupid. I get MTV wanting to CYA with the safe-word for liability reasons, but jeez. I wonder if at any point he let it rip on her and it was cut. If not, he showed some nice restraint. My stepkids' mom is a hot-mess, much like Leah. She isn't into drugs or alcohol, but she's got serious MH challenges that aren't being treated. We have primary custody and try to provide the structure and discipline they require (both have special needs), and every single time the kids get into a nice rhythm and routine at our house, they go back to her for a little bit and return completely out of control, filthy, and exhausted. Court hasn't done a damned thing. It's so frustrating. So I feel Miranda's pain, and would love to CP Leah. That's all. Oh, and Adam is gross.

Just conjecture of course, but Nathan strikes me as the kind of guy who ends up with a dysfunctional person like Jenelle not in spite of her mental health issues, but because of them. He gets off on control, because it feeds his warped sense of self-importance. He's someone who seeks out what he perceives as weakness and dependence in a woman and targets her because he thinks it'll make her easy to manipulate and control. It's sort of like how a child abuser will seek the kind of victim who appears to lack a lot of parental guidance, or whom s/he knows has some challenges and will be easy to groom. He turns the charm-meter to MAX in the early part of the relationship...dresses well, brings flowers, charms the parents, etc. Professes his love for his target and makes her feel like she's the center of his world, and soon he becomes HER world. Then when he feels confident that he's got her trust and dependency, the false charm wears off and the real antisocial personality begins to show. The false sense of self-importance, the grandiosity and lack of realism in life plans or expectations of unearned respect, etc. begins to become obvious, although often not to the target, like Jenelle. She's stuck in the dysfunction and can't see it. Also, Jenelle has a lot of the traits of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, and her addiction to love/hate relationships and dependency on male attention makes for the perfect storm of a relationship with someone like Nathan. Scary scary, no?

Yeah, same. I got a master's degree whilst working FT and interning 15hrs per week as a single mother with 100% sole physical custody. And I finished on a fast-track. While sure, I wouldn't have worked if I didn't have to, as a parent I had a responsibility to support my child in addition to any other endeavors in which I chose to partake. Jo may be paying child support based on some crappy salary he may have had in PA (and Kail and he agreed that he was behind for a while, so he wasn't even consistent), but I think the point is that he has a responsibility to support Isaac and that means having a job that pays enough to contribute significantly to your child's life. Kail has him most of the time and she covers most of his expenses, so yes, Jo as a non-custodial parent does need to bear his portion. It's hard to know how costly it is to raise a kid unless you've done it and the expense is astronomical. Just because Kail drives a nice car and takes vacations doesn't mean Jo is excused from providing a FAIR portion of what Isaac's costs are. Kail should not have to put 100% of her finances toward Isaac's child rearing AND have Isaac most of the time because Jo doesn't want to work. That's like saying Kail must never have anything for herself as long as she has a child if she's requesting child support. Yet Jo can pay some crappy amount, yet not work and have a whole other family, home, etc. How is that fair? It's incredibly frustrating to deal with someone like Jo, who may be a great dad but ultimately uses his kid as an excuse not to work when he has him just a few days per month. Been there, done that. Now, I do think that Jo is one of the better dads, and he does get it but has a lazy side. Re: the cultural issues Javi discussed, my experienced is that this is a very genuine factor in relationships. We bring our experience with us wherever we go, and Javi's expectations are probably very much the product of his raising. Now, one does have to compromise with his partner and there is a difference between being culturally informed and just plain controlling, and I do think he's extremely insecure. Whatever, who cares. Re: Drew's being harder on Jo than the likes of Nathan, I think Drew probably knows that Jo has more potential and therefore holds him to a higher standard. Nathan is maybe one of the scariest, abusive manipulators I've ever seen, and I'm a psychotherapist. I really don't like to say that about people, but he is absolutely sick and Jenelle really should stay as far away from him as she can. Both of them have severe personality disorders, both are abusive, and both have WAY too much time on their hands. Scary formula.

Chelsea is immature, just not as bad as the rest. This girl couldn't tolerate Taylor for five seconds until she met Cole and moved on completely from Adam. Suddenly she wants to compare notes? If I were Taylor, I'd tell her to go scratch. Chelsea knew in her heart that Taylor was going through the same crap with Adam that Chelsea did and she couldn't offer an ounce of sympathy or even be cordial considering the two have daughters who are half-siblings. And sorry, but you had a baby with the guy, continued to sleep with him and allow him into your life up until what, last year, and suddenly now he's the worst human on earth? I mean, yeah, Adam's a POS, but she had that POS in her bed for a loooooong time and it caused a lot of drama with his other baby mama, I'm sure. Chelsea couldn't have cared less. I remember before my husband and I got married, his ex-wife behaved like a raging lunatic and could not have been nastier and more confrontational with me. We broke up for like two days and she contacted me to try and be buddy-buddy, and of course when we got back together it was same shit, new day. Ridic, and nothing to do with what's best for the kids.

If cheating has been a problem between Kail and Javi before, I get why he's insecure. I could not and would not stay with someone who cheated on me because I'd be driving myself nuts wondering if it was happening again. Thing is, if you decide to stay, you have to be able to move on and rebuild the relationship. And relationships require trust. Sure, it takes time, but demanding that your partner hand over all passwords and privacy for everything the person has ownership over is really not healthy. If Javi has caught Kail cheating, gave her an ultimatum, then found her texting some guy, I see why he'd be angry but at that point, what's left of the relationship? Why spend your time being miserable and suspicious? If he's going to renege on his commitment to Isaac--things have to be pretty bad for that to happen--it pretty much doesn't get any worse and it's time to call it quits. As far as stepparent commitments, it's pretty subjective I guess but I *think* that in a healthy, mature blended family, adults don't make threats and do the yours/mine crap. I'm a bio- and a stepparent, and sure, my husband and I have had arguments, but never have either of us thrown out the "Oh, and you can pick up YOUR kid tonight because I'm not doing it" card. I think that really damages a relationship...it's like threatening divorce during an argument. It's a reminder that there is always a foot out the door and the commitment is only as good as the side of the bed you may have gotten up on. If Kail is so bad, Javi needs to just end it. Period.

I loved this season, and this episode was very, very good. I got super emotional during the last 20 minutes or so. Very cool to see everyone happy, just for a little while. I'm with those who aren't overly invested in Piper's storyline...but participating in the kind of activity she is at least provides the writers with an option for tacking more time onto her sentence. Although frankly, if Taylor Schilling didn't return, I'd really have no problems with it. I also find Laura Prepon to be an awful actress, and her character is just kind of there this season. I was shocked at how easily Alex forgave Piper for getting her violated and was sure that would come back at some point, but it really just didn't. Whatever. Snore. The two of these characters can really be written off, I think, without much being lost, although I doubt that will happen. I'm glad Laverne Cox has something more edgy to do. I hope that continues next season. Agree that Boo and Tucky are a real treat. The actors have great chemistry. I just LOVE Boo in general. Always enjoy Poussey and Tastee, love Cindy, didn't really get into Red/Healy this season, but still infinitely more watchable than Piper/Alex drama. I keep reading that Ruby Rose is the breakout star of the season, but I didn't particularly find Stella all that exciting. Caputo is a great, sympathetic character despite his childish tendencies. I have no doubt he'll be back in teddy bear mode quickly next season. As much as I like Natasha Lyonne, after the second or so episode without Nicky, I kind of forgot about her. That's the great thing about an ensemble cast, though. There's some much to wrap your arms around and it's rare that there's lack of material. Greatly looking forward to S4.

Plenty of involved parents have kids who end up in less than stellar situations. My parents also pulled the "if you ever get pregnant..." line on me, made me go to church every Sunday, didn't let me drive around with other kids they didn't know, and held me to an early curfew even when I was home visiting from college. I wasn't a teen mom, but I had my daughter unmarried and unplanned right after getting my bachelor's. No one kicked me out or disowned me. Ten years later, I'm married with another child and our last on the way, I have a master's degree and a beautiful home and a really great life. Much of it is because even though I screwed up, my parents DIDN'T abandon me. Condoms breaks, birth control sometimes fails. I think it's less the threats and intolerance of negative outcomes that create success stories and more the support and encouragement when the poor outcomes happen--because frequently, they do, even when you think you're on top of your kids.

Farrah and her crew. I can't even begin to think of where to start with them. I DO feel like they have made progress as far as their interpersonal relationships are concerned, and that's good. I just don't know how much of their dishonesty is for the show and how much is what they really live. I mean...okay. Farrah did porn. Do they really believe that she made a private tape that was leaked? Can anyone really be that ignorant? Are they all okay with the choices she's made since? Do they blame the "leak" for her lifestyle now, or do they think she did the right thing by riding the sex worker train? Or, are they insinuating that Farrah was molested as a child, which is why she made the bad decision to do porn? And again, what about NOW? I don't know. It's so bizarre. My hope is that they're just looking to run with the best narrative for the show but in reality, they are honest about whatever's going on, but Farrah is a history revisionist (the Derek relationship being the best example), so who knows. Tyler clearly didn't get what Dr. Drew was trying to say re: Farrah's inclusion and how it's meant to cast a negative pale on her life choices. It's obvious to me that Farrah's story is a clear cautionary tale, but maybe to younger girls in Tyler's age group, it reads like a fairytale? I don't know.