butterbody

Sorry if this is a long post but I had a mommy makeover in November, right around the time that Amber had hers. I followed her instagram to watch her progress along with mine and there were several differences. As far as I know, any combination of surgeries designed to reverse the damage done by having a baby can be called a mommy makeover, and honestly, I think that was just a nice term cooked up by plastic surgeons to make the procedure sound a little more warm and fuzzy. A tummy tuck is removal of excess skin, while an abdominoplasty also tightens the muscles that get blown out during pregnancy. Many people opt out of the muscle tightening because it is excruciatingly painful and recovery takes several months. Watching Amber hippo charge farrah at the aftershow, it became very obvious that she could not possibly have had muscle tightening. I doubt she even had the skin removed. Judging by the after pics, I would bet money she had no more than liposuction of the belly and arms, along with a boob job. Her breasts were still so new on that aftershow, they hadn't even dropped yet. My breasts dropped after a few weeks but it was at least 6 weeks before I could even stand fully upright from the abdominoplasty. I still cant lean up against a counter without feeling the pain of my muscle tightening. I went to several consultations before choosing my doctor, and not one of them would perform more than 3 procedures in one surgery. As it was, I was under for more than 5 hours and had a surgeon on either side of me to make it go faster. There's just no way amber had all that done without mass amounts of pain killers. And I consider myself a pretty tough cookie. I worked until the day I delivered my child and was up cleaning my hospital room the day after my c section because I knew I'd have visitors. They took all the skin from my belly button to my vag, and then they pulled my vag up and made me a new belly button. I have a scar that starts above my butt cheek, goes all the way across the front of me, and then back over the other cheek. Its almost completely around my midsection. It was a maaaajor fucking body transformation and with my awesome support system and limitless supply of legal medical marijuana, it still kicked my ass for several months. Having said that, I would do it again in a second, because i look awesome. AWESOME, you guys! If you saw my before and after, you would agree it was worth all the pain and money. Nobody has ever said that about whatever the hell Amber did to herself. And I would give anything to see that belly tattoo of little Leah Leann. Talk about a booboo.

Maybe her black choker is actually a teeny tiny neck brace...

If your brain hurts from trying to keep all this deliciousness straight, here's a pretty comprehensive timeline thus far: http://starcasm.net/archives/370522

I wonder if people would think it was a Sean Spicer reference.

https://mobile.twitter.com/Anon_Mafioso/status/867474993524776960/video/1 This is just funny.

They'll make a quick 6 figures just from matt watching it to jerk off to himself.

Leah has become the accesory yorkie who doesn't fit in a purse anymore.

Or maybe just part of his master plan. Matt never wanted Booboo around anyway.

Cause he's a bad ass, dude!

I saw an item from C&T's line. It was a tiny pair of lace hot pants. Absolutely disturbing. I loved the scene when Cait is cleaning Nova's room and Tyler is just sitting there, talking her ear off and not picking up anything, and nova walks up to him and yells SIT! And I'm thinking, yeah, sit on your ass, dickwad.

Will you please be my bestie?

http://www.allaboutthetea.com/2017/05/24/amber-portwoods-fiance-matt-baier-caught-cheating-with-cancer-mom/ Juicy.

Im trying to read an article but it's giving my antivirus a workout. Apparently Jenelle posted a pic of endtable and the roll, and some fans noticed bruises on Kaiser's arm and alerted Nathan, who then tweeted something along the lines of "mess with my kid and you mess with me #treadlightly".

Man, I was really hoping for a Moana sketch. :(

Run, Maryssa, RUN! http://www.inquisitr.com/4227891/jenelle-evans-accused-of-dipping-stepdaughter-maryssas-toothbrush-in-the-toilet-in-twitter-feud/

This has got to be the most clever concealment of a baby bump in the history of television. Most shows would have her in a giant coat with a huge purse, but saying she's wearing a fake belly and making it part of the story was genius.

What am I missing? How did the Sergeant show up right as Erin was beating up that guy? The new girl couldn't have snitched if she was still in there when he showed up. I'm confused.

Thanks so much for posting this. I keep thinking about that caramelized bread soaked with chicken juice, and I am dying to try it but dont know why I am letting it intimidate me. I'm gonna do it this week!

Interesting take on that scene. I saw it completely differently. I thought Waaamber was crying for Matt's benefit. Like, look at me- poor, wounded mother of the year. Then dumb ass Matt had to tell her not to cry so loud that Leah heard it. Either eay, they're both dirty manipulative assholes.

Come on, Cate. I'm a plus sized gal, too. No shame in tubing and I dare even say the tow rope to the top so you don't even have to walk up the hill is rad. Even more appreciated since you were no doubt high. I feel you. So I say this woman to woman: You know what makes waaay better swimwear than skin tight capri pants? Men's swim trunks. They also dry way faster. You can even get them in big man size and loan them out to Tyler. He's gonna need them soon. And because it cannot be said enough, Amber is a disgusting piece of garbage.

Holy moley! I'll let myself out.

I cannot remember hating a show more. And I'll sit through some pretty embarrasing tv junk food.

I'm pretty sure the necklaces are their microphones. I first saw these on a super early season of the real world, when that girl refused to wear a shirt and they had no place to clip on her mic. Now pretty much every survival/outdoor/naked/afraid show uses them.

Omg I had to rewind this 10 times. On the last special with Nessa, she's asking the girls what parts of their bodies they're insecure about, and she turns to Jenelle and goes, "Chinelle, what about you?"

I sincerely appreciated the effort that must have gone into that Hamiltonesque USPIS musical. This show just doesn't get the attention it deserves.