majormama

Ginger: I do not enjoy Contemporary. They all look the same to me. Run over here, pose, angsty face, run over there, lift, angsty face. Boring! The one thing I can say for Ginger's is it was a very happy dance and not all angsty and overwrought. Kim: Her first two dances were big on performance and fierceness. This one lacked that a little. Von: I liked Witney with Alfonso, but her choreography is rather one note. She loves to throw in hip hop moves even to dances that should be elegant. (I'm also not a fan of hip hop. Yeah, yeah, get off my lawn.) Paige: I loved it! Len is right that there was a bit too much Contemporary, but there was enough Paso for me, and it was certainly entertaining and unique! Mark's concept dances are often spectacular, sometimes spectacularly disastrous, but always interesting to me. Jodie: Beautiful expression of her story. Wanya: I like Lindsey's choreo much better than Witney's. The National Anthem is not easy to dance to, but I enjoyed it. Nyle: Loved him again this week. Len is right, Peta does have trouble adding light and shade, and this has been a common criticism throughout her DWTS career. So my thoughts this week were more about choreo than the contestants.

Here's one from the Daily Mail.

Jodie improved this week, I thought. Much better face. Marla has amazing flexibility. Donaldo, I just can't with you. John Hurley and Cheech Marin were showing major second hand embarrassment. Paige did an amazing job, especially after being worried about lifts and then having a brand new partner. Hope Mark recovers soon. When Mischa went behind the drummers, I honestly thought she had just quit mid-dance. Her movement was so un-dance-y, and combined with her attitude I thought she walked off. Len's meanness saved her this week, but I will be shocked if she makes it through again. She's just so wrong for this show. Wanya was a lot of fun, and the guy can move, but I wish they didn't put the crowd in the way of the cameras. Nyle is still my pick to win.

I think the four factors that go into winning DWTS are a reasonable amount of dance ability, entertaining performances, a likeable personality/rootable storyline, and an inherent fanbase. The winner always ranks high (though not necessarily highest) in all four. Someone who ranks really high in one area and really low in another always lasts longer than expected, while across-the-board mid-high are the "surprise" eliminations. Here are my predictions after Week 1, which of course could change as the season progresses: Kim: good dance potential; great performance; bubbly personality (the screeching may be a bit much for some, but her type usually does well); nostalgia for Facts of Life + Real Housewives fans, there must be some RH voters since they keep casting from there, right? Prediction: middle tier of eliminations. Paige: good dance potential; good performance; seems very sweet despite fighting for a living; not sure she'll bring many fans. Prediction: probably middle tier unless she wins over a lot of fans in the next few weeks. Could be this season's "surprise" elim. Doug: poor dancing; poor performance; seems like a nice guy; NFL fans are super supportive but split three ways this season. Prediction: among first 4 out Jodie: good dance potential; last night's performance wasn't as good as I'd expected but will hopefully improve; has the comeback story + overcoming getting in her head like Candace; high fan base with Full House nostalgia + Fuller House surge. Prediction: If she doesn't make the finals, she'll be a "surprise" elim. Geraldo: terrible dancing; not much performing; polarizing figure; who would be voting for him, Fox News fans? Prediction: among first 4 out Marla: good dancing; will perform well on ballroom, not sure about Latin; being Trump's ex might help ('Murica fans got Bristol Palin to the finals, after all) but also could hurt; don't think she has a large fan base. Prediction: lower to middle tier elimination Wanya: reasonable dancing; performed well for Motown, wonder how he'll do with other dances; had a lot of fun, which is a plus; Boys II Men fans. Prediction: Middle to upper tier elimination, possibly final four. Ginger: good dancing; performed fine, wonder how she'll do with a more serious dance; bubbly personality which does well, but new mom shtick could get old; GMA/ABC pimping. Prediction: Middle to upper tier elimination, possibly final four. Mischa; poor dancing; performed okay; worst possible personality for this show, will play terrible for the audience; how many OC fans out there? Prediction: Among first 4 out. Nyle: great dancing potential; great performance; deaf storyline will totally draw the audience in, plus he's hot; recent ANTM winner should carry over some fans. Prediction: Finals Antonio: fine dancing; fine performance; personality may come off as arrogant and turn people off; NFL fans split three ways. Prediction: middle to upper tier elimination, possibly finals but probably lower than Von Von: good dancing; reasonable performance; a bit quirky in a good way; NFL fans split three ways. Prediction: middle to upper tier elimination, possibly finals. TL:DR I predict Geraldo, Misha, and Doug to be out first in some order; then Marla, Kim, and probably Paige in some order; final four of Nyle, Von, Wanya, and either Jodie or Ginger, with Antonio and the other of Jodie/Ginger as possible spoilers. Nyle for the win.

I kind of felt about Paige how others feel about Ginger and the new mom/breastfeeding stuff. "I beat the crap out of people for a living, but I'm really very girly! And feminine! And princess-y. And I love tea parties and dressing up! Here's a picture of me with blood on my face, but don't be fooled! GIRLY!"

I thought Kim did well for the opener spot. She seems to have some natural dance ability and was performing the heck out of it. I was very distracted by Jodie's facial expressions. She also seems to be a bit like her on-screen sister Candace with getting in her head. Geraldo was terrible, but I did chuckle at his dancing bear comment: You don't critique it, you're just amazed it's dancing at all. The camera work for Marla and Tony was terrible. She may have been good, but it was hard to see. Plus I admit to being a bit blinded by my Trump hatred. Anyone dumb enough to marry that man.... Dying laughing over the exchange between Len and Bruno. "That dance was stuffed fuller than Bruno's makeup bag!" "That was bitter and uncalled for." "Well, you nicked my cushion." Mischa has the worst possible personality for this show. Everything about her package put me on edge, and her dancing certainly didn't help. I do agree that she's too tall for Artem, and that may have been part of her frame problems, slouching to match him. Nyle blew me away! No one better claim that he's only doing well because of pity. That was a great dance, hearing or not.

I assume you know there are already lyrics to the Downton theme song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0AbTiBYrbg

Based on how often it's played in my head and how often I've rewatched the video, Today We Rise is my favorite of the season. I know all the words except the line after "PEE and POO!" because I'm laughing too hard to hear it properly every single time. Also playing in my head: A New Season, Let's Agree to Disagree (beer beer beer beer beer!), Jolly Blacksmith, Serenade, My Dragon Pal and Me, Goodbye, I Don't Like You, and Will My Day Ever Come. I won't attempt to rank them, but these were my favorites. Honorable mention to Dwarves Vs Giants. Love to watch the choreography. It seems Different Kind of Princess is universally the least favorite (I agree). I will say I don't hate it as a stand alone song, but it didn't fit in the show stylistically or plot wise. It would have benefited from having just the smallest bit of set up. When Wormwood said they needed an RSVP from Jubilee, the parents should have said something like, "Jubilee? Ugh, she's the worst. Horrible person. Terrible influence. Why did we even invite her? We don't want her there, and she won't come anyway. Just mark her as a No." Then Wormwood the Horrified Wedding Planner could have said, "You can't uninvite someone or assume they won't show! What if they did? Then the seating chart would be boy-girl-boy-girl-girl! We can't let that happen!" and send Izzy off. It still would have been an unnecessary plot point, but at least the punk rock princess wouldn't have come completely out of left field. An even better scenario that someone else put forth would have been losing the tiara in Hortencia and IZZY singing a pissed off punk rock princess song.

Season 2 saw Richard becoming a little self aware of how terrible he had been as a king, and finding his courage/learning to be better. In season 3, I'd love a scene where he starts to revert. "I'm boooored! We haven't had a good baby-cobra cage fight in a while." And Queen Roberta says, "What does your inner child say?" And Lil Richard says, "I just want to be loved!" And Richard says, "Shut up, you!" Or, if Alfie Simmons hits puberty between now and then, it could be him who says the I'm bored line, and Roberta says, "Stop listening to your inner teenager, Richard." In any case, it needs to be clear that Richard's adventures with Galavant et al have led to him becoming a worthy One True King.

The other missing songs were Dance Until You Die (although that one may not really be a complete song since it was broken up by other scenes), A Happy Ending for Us, and another of my favorites, Secret Mission. The crickets get me every time. I'd definitely pay for Secret Mission and Hero's Journey.

I kept wondering which of Lil Richard's kid courtiers was Roberta, but they never said. I may need to make an "I super believe in you, Tad Cooper!" t-shirt. That's definitely what I'm calling out if I ever recognize a cast member on the street.

It could be our version of Jericho's peanuts! Everyone send in your Save the Date!

Where are Prince Harry's parents? I mean, he must have them. He's referred to as Prince, not King, and Isabella's dad kept saying Harry's parents will have to pay for the wedding. Yet, they aren't there to stock the armory properly and lead the troops into battle. Also, why would marrying your cousin change who pays for the wedding? (And yes, I know the answer is "We really do expect you to suspend disbelief that far, and besides, how else can we put Izzy in charge?") While I hold no hope for a season 3, I would guess Bobbi being preggers would be a feature plot line.

Actually, that was one thing I thought they got right. It may be hard to believe, but a c-section is physically much harder on the body than natural labor, or even induced labor. When my first was born, I had life threatening complications (preeclampsia and HELLP syndrome). When my doctor explained what was happening to me and why we needed to immediately induce prematurely, I asked if I should have a c-section instead and he said no, it would kill me. With Carla being as weak as she was, she probably would have died during surgery and not had the chance to hold her son.

"First I'll hit the thing with the other thing, 'til I make another thing!"

Bindi is a bit of a mystery to me. I completely believe she is a positive, energetic person. She also gives off a sense of maturity-for-her-age that probably comes from growing up quickly with her dad's early death. But then she has these moments where she is a wide-eyed little girl calling confetti "raining happiness" and Chai Tea "angel tears," and I just can't quite...is she for real? Is she making fun of herself? I'm not quite sure how to interpret those moments, and that's the part that threw me off completely liking her.

She (or he) must have a thing for parents banging their kids' SO. Next up: Julian and Brad?

Oh, I already have. Post from Oct 7, during the first go-round of Vante pregnancy rumors, on whether a soap-baby conceived on July 4 could be born on the following July 4, with the messed up month-day soap timelines:

If Val gets pregnant this time, it would be perfect soap timing for a Fourth of July birth.

I've been wondering for a while if Anna hallucinated killing Carlos, and all the "hallucinations" of seeing him alive have actually been the real thing. Meanwhile, Carlos is in hiding for reasons. Sloane and Paul only thought/think he's dead because Anna told them what she hallucinated and believed was real. This would also be an "out" for Anna to not really be bad.

When Chaka was singing Every Woman, did anyone else notice two of the dancers walk smack into each other? I laughed. I was excited to see Chaka and Andy sing a duet, but horrified that it was Date Rape for Christmas. I hate that song with the heat of 10,000 nuns.

Her trio dance was the jazz. Her jive was to Crocodile Rock.

Man, I'm so glad Carlos is gone. Too bad it wasn't sooner. The douchiness really hit me when he jumped on Witney's back just before they cut to the pre-freestyle package, and it looked like she totally wasn't expecting it and almost fell, then was like "Smile for the cameras! Smile, smile, did they cut away yet? OW!" And then during the package he's concerned the pro dancers will steal all his thunder, so he wants to bring in Hayes and Paula instead. Nice. And he "finally gets to dance with [his] wife," only it was more like she was tossed over him so he could jump back into the spotlight. Hope that wasn't a metaphor. Okay, as for the rest of the night... The song for Carlos and Witney's foxtrot was, I thought, more suited to a tango. I hate it when the show does this mismatch. Interesting that Derek brought up the Finals flub with Shawn's quickstep from All Stars, especially since it was discussed here a little this week. I always thought the mistake was when he said they could please the audience, or they could please the judges. And I'm sorry, but the so-called "greatest choreographer of our time" should be able to do both. It was smart to follow the rules this time around; he's clearly learned from his mistake. I loved Lindsey's concept for Alek's freestyle. It was definitely interesting and unique. It gave off a very Divergent feel. Surprisingly my favorite of the night. Bindi's dance was gorgeous, if on the nose. I hate to admit it, but I was underwhelmed by Nick's freestyle. It wasn't anything we haven't seen from him for the last, what, 20 years? It definitely played to his strengths and to his fans, but I would have liked something different. (And I assume they switched the order of Bindi and Nick's dances due to both the troupe dancers needing to change between Carlos/Alek's dances and Nick's and the staging of getting the audience on and off the floor. Though why they didn't just have Nick dance fourth in the first round, I don't know.)

IF Tom was telling the truth that either Nick or Bindi was the lowest and saved from elimination by Tamar's withdrawl, I think an argument could be made for either. It's possible Nick isn't drawing the support because he's been inconsistent and rather bland. It's possible Bindi is starting to turn people off with her over the top perkiness. If you buy into the conspiracy theories of random dance offs and extra points, though, Bindi won the dance-off between the two of them. So maybe it is her? Or it was all made up drama, because really, how would we ever know.

BAHAHA! Since you pointed it out I had to go back and check, and, sure enough! He has enough of his shirt unbuttoned to see his pecs.