The Ascension

How scary! What a nightmare. Super awkward when a storyline on the show was "Savannah's a bad driver" then this news comes out. I'm not surprised by the reaction they've been getting.

Alongside the fleet leaving LAX, I also love how Kim's escalade fleet ran several red lights to get to the airport when she was fleeing Paris. Do we have to keep inflating her ego? Is she the first person this has ever happened to? #bravekimmy Also, I totally admit that this is splitting hairs - but tied up, gagged, handcuffed AND locked in a room? I mean, I watch a lot of crime shows but that seems excessive. This was all anyone could talk about at work today, and no one believed her 100% and everyone hated how much attention this was getting. What an existence. I can't get over this...when you claim to have been held up at gunpoint and your life threatened, and the majority of the world doesn't believe you. Says so much, Kimmy. I also would like to know how Kanye found out. Did someone run up on stage mid-song? Did he just so happen to be mid costume change when the call came in? Do the Kardashians want me to continue thinking Kim and Kanye are #goals because he is now by her side?

I am so over this story. Oh my goodness. The news is treating it like a terrorist attack with breakdowns of what she did that day, people’s reactions, etc. I’m nauseated by it. I’d say “they’ll think twice bragging on every social media and TV outlet possible about all their wealth and jewels they carry around and own” but nope. We are really in for it with the "Kim speaks out, she fought back for her babies" and her #bravery.

Khloe is so goddamn annoying. I cannot believe how far she has fallen. Why was she dressed like that for a meeting with her brother? We've seen her lounge about in jeans with Kim and Kourt, but she has to put on this swanky dress for a meeting with her brother? I also didn't like the way she was trying to intimidate him in their OMG MEETING. Any normal person would tread very carefully and lightly with Rob, but Khloe came out guns blazing, trying to make him uncomfortable and keep him off balance. Rob was clearly uncomfortable to begin with, throwing out that tabloid joke- which WAS terrible and awkward, but he seems so lost and sad I give him a pass because this was a big thing for him and he was nervous with Khloe glowering at him- and Khloe was just so hard on him. Why do they all have to cater to omg poor Khloe. She's an arrogant, ungrateful bitch as usual, I see no reason to worry about her.

Is this car in Kylie's name too? This family is so freaking materialistic. At some point for any normal person, it all becomes meaningless. But they just keep going, buying, and patting themselves on the back and telling themselves they deserve it because of all the shit they put up with from #trolls #jealousbitches #omghaters #youhateuscauseyouaintus. They just take, take, take, and collect, collect, collect. Never giving, of course. Go ahead Kardashian/Jenner ladies, keep filling up those white and black museums with all the biggest and newest things, it won't do shit for your rotting souls.

A fan tweets to Khloe that she shouldn't be hanging out with Trey Songz and should be taking care of her husband. Khlo monster's reply: "stay in your f--king lane little girl. You know nothing about anything. You're a sheep herded by society.” http://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/khloe-kardashian-flips-out-at-fan-amid-lamar-odom-drama-w212733 I don't agree with the tweet the fan sent, but Khloe is an absolute monster. When has she ever stayed in her own lane? Plus, she's the one trotting out the sick ex-husband into OUR lane on OUR TVs so we can see her as a hero (aka the sheep she wants society to herd so we can view her as such). It's especially infuriating when it's the Kardashians who whine about people throwing their shit back at them when they are the ones who omgliterally put EVERYTHING out on TV. Khloe was my favorite back in 08 (back when I liked this family enough to have a favorite) but holy hell, could she have fallen any further? She's an egomaniac and is always right about everything. Losing the weight was the worst thing to happen to her ego.

These girls and their obsession with the haters. That's the problem with the Kardashians/Jenners. They immediately dismiss all criticism as haters and unfounded because trolls. How do you grow as a person when you live like that? I know who we're talking about here, and all hope is pretty much lost for them as humans, but it's just sad. Kylie is so freaking young, has so much life ahead and based off her family, will be stuck in this mindset. Especially because customers have had very legitimate complaints about Kylie Cosmetics. There's no excuse for her business to be so poorly run and I am not impressed by her hustle or business acumen like the Kardashians/Jenners/E! tell me to be.

North and Penelope are so damn cute on the beach! I see so much of Scott in little Miss P. The beach pictures make me sad. The DM article makes a point to say that Kourtney took the girls to the water without Kim because Kim wasn't dressed sensibly enough and couldn't get to the water edge without ruining her outfit. Kourtney looks casual yet stylish and adorable and Kim looks like a disaster who thinks she's hot shit. Poor, poor North. A mom who'd rather try and flaunt her "innovative" (in her own mind) outfits then make memories with her child.

Seriously. The only girl on this show I'd want to be friends with is Brie. I just don't care about Rosa. She's a child and painful to watch. I've been watching WWE almost two years and I think I've seen her wrestle once. She was a valet for a bit but even that got dropped very quickly. Just because she's OMG having a baby does not mean viewers (which I know are mostly female) want to see her. This show is sinking. It's getting worse every week. Show more wrestling related plotlines!

I cried my eyes out watching Bryan's retirement speech.The way the crowd connected with him and the way he connected with them…it is SO rare. WWE can push whoever they want and make them the top guy, but connections like Bryan had with a universal WWE audience (especially in the day of the snarky Internet commenters) are like Hailey’s comet. One of my favorite things was watching his entrances - every time Bryan always looked so, so happy to be in the ring and every entrance, he looked around with a little grin on his face, in almost disbelief at how loud the crowds were for him. His retirement speech was perfect. Really amazing to see someone accomplish their dreams and go out on top, and to know that they were so grateful and humble until the very end. Team Bryan forever.

It’s almost borderline insulting to me that Rosa is back on this show. She never wrestled with WWE, pre-pregnancy. Now the show trots her out and acts like it’s totally natural for her to be backstage at WWE because OMG she’s pregnant and engaged, Total Divas viewers MUST want to see her. I applaud Nikki for wanting to make a difference and I hope she is following up. I hope it wasn’t just a storyline. My girl Brie had some good points but her delivery was a little off for me. This show needs to do something because it’s just not interesting and I don’t want it to be canceled because it’s one of the few things the divas division has going for them. I may be alone on this but I want to see more WWE stuff (and yes I watch WWE) not personal lives/Kardashians esque drama.

It really bothers me that Nikki goes out of her way to tell anyone her boyfriend is John Cena. Kids, the media, when she's presenting at award shows, etc. She can throw the word "soulmate" around all she wants but I don't see it if he weren't OMG WWE SUPERSTAR AND 15X CHAMPION AND RICH GUY JOHN CENA.

So Rosa gets pregnant and engaged. Naturally, because this show is geared toward women, E decides they have to feature her again!! Ugh. I DON'T CARE. I've watched WWE for two years and I've seen her on TV like twice. I don't understand how WWE/E think this show will develop a consistent fanbase if they're forever putting people on and off. Jojo, Ariane, Rosa, Summer, Trinity, Trinity again, Rosa again, Mandy, Paige, Alicia. Let the fans grow with the people! They make it so hard changing the cast up all the time. The Dolph/Nikki thing is SO FAKE. Good God. Bryan's comments about Cena/Nikki relationship were harsh, but yeah. True. Bryan and Brie adore each other. Nikki idolizes John and his status. I really don't see it with those two I want to see more wrestling, training, WWE storyline development, etc. I hate the fake drama. The Dolph/Nikki thing is almost insulting. Did Paige get a boob job? She is so immature, good God. Her fiance is adorable but a total doormat. She didn't tell her mom she was engaged? She acted offended that her mom asked her about it.

Caitlyn is horrible. There is an astonishing amount of entitlement there, which is really something that it's noticeable at all considering her scenes are with members of the Kardashians.

She looked stunning. Not many brides these days wear the veil over their faces when walking down the aisle so I was delighted that she did. I get why many don’t, but man I love how it looks. Kate Middleton’s veil over her face when she was outside the church before the ceremony was breathtaking and made me fall in love with it again. The dress though. Wasn’t a huge fan. I know some brides joke they can’t move in their dress, but she seriously couldn’t get off the altar to give the roses? I’d be mortified. I don't know how these brides in the huge taffeta dresses don't wrinkle the hell out of their gowns. A wedding I was just in, bride wanted pictures in her wedding gown at her childhood home, so she donned the dress for those pictures, took it off again to ride to the church, and we put it back on her at the church in the nursing/little kids room, lol. Not many churches have those bridal rooms anymore. Agreed at Mrs. Scalia. Love her, but c'mon, don't you want to wait for That Moment? I so love seeing the bride for the first time when she walks down the aisle. The fried food thing was just another ploy to be like ahh, look how quirky we are. Really loved in the moments before walking down the aisle when Lauren was all nervous and Albert said his overprotectiveness kicked in and making sure she’d be okay gave him something to focus his energy on. Good God. That was so sweet and so like a dad, it made me tear up. I love how Chris & Albie were unabashedly emotional. Seriously beautiful church!

Watching this was very weird experience. I was sad watching Gia in the THs explaining her dad's loss, how her Nonno has been dealing, and how hard it has been for her was just awful. So young to have such a burden heaped on her by her parents. She was a lot more articulate then I think I was at 14. I thought about how she has to walk the halls at school everyday and 14 is a cruel age. The whispers, knowing her classmates know, etc. That cannot be easy. It was also sad to see Teresa's dad / Nonno get upset and walk away, and little Milania go hug him. I was mad. Why are they still in that damn mansion? Dear God, that made me so mad. It doesn't look like they have lost anything or missed a beat. Why do Joe Giudice and Teresa still act like this is something that fell out of the sky and randomly happened to them? They happened. They did this to themselves, they did this to their innocent daughters, they did this to others. They will seriously never learn. Ever. Teresa will get out, write that jail diary/book, it'll be a best-seller, go on all the media rounds, film again, be ~fabulicious~ again and talk about how strong she is. BLECH. I was mad hearing Teresa talk like she's at a freaking spa. Watching the new Magic Mike, going to spin class, "having her ways" to get roses sent, etc. I was amused. Milania gets better/sassier with age. She is so funny to me. I was also amused the word she apparently won the spelling bee on was "juror", hehe.

Welp, it was a matter of time. Eva reportedly injured someone. One of the reasons I am so fascinated with wrestling is the intricate dance of it. The moves look super painful (and I know they hurt!) but wrestlers do these little adjustments or maneuvers I fail to notice that lessens the blow a little and ensures the move is safe. I always try and study the moves to see what the adjustments are and I always miss them. It all looks like it hurts so bad, how is any of it safe?! It's so intriguing to me. I give every wrestler so much credit. I can't imagine myself trusting someone I know enough to know what they're doing and stay 1000% focused during our minutes long match to get me through it safely...or I can't imagine trusting myself enough to get them through it safely, haha. So when something like this happens, I feel bad for the other wrestlers. Who will want to get in the ring with Eva?!!!! Who can trust her to do her part safely? I also really, really, really wonder what WWE is thinking. They see THAT much potential in this girl that it's worth it for them to injure other wrestlers? I don't get it at all. http://www.cagesideseats.com/2015/10/2/9444467/carmella-injured-eva-marie-match-nxt-house-show-report

The mic is just not natural for a guy like Seth. Yet he does these long 10-15 minute promos every show. Minutes before Raw comes on they always say "The champ Seth Rollins opens Raw!" and i know I have a few minutes to get my meals together for the next day because he's just not fluid. Steph McMahon, Dean Ambrose, Paul Heyman, Kevin Owens can pull off anything on the mic. They just get it and know how to deliver and work the crowd. Ryback did this horrible backstage promo on Raw recently where it was so clear he was reading off the teleprompter. C'mon, dude.

There is a small rumor that Daniel returns on Sunday at Night of Champions to team with Roman Reigns and my man Dean Ambrose. I think maybe I am the only one gullible enough to give stock to it just because I would love it so much. :) But Bryan rumors are always rampant, especially since the fans want him back so badly and because it is known doctors have cleared him but WWE won't. That would make sense for Brie to turn on Nikki. Brie never got her revenge from when the twins first split. They dropped that storyline and the twins were back together and hooray and crowds should just forget Nikki said she wished Brie died in the womb becausae nothing ever came out of it. I dunno where Brie and Nikki will go from there though. I can't see Brie joining PCB, but I don't have any other ideas either. And yes, WWE has a ton of talent on the roster but they can't seem to keep more than 3 storylines going so it's the same guys over and over. It's so pathetic. Triple H once said they can have up to 40 writers in the room, which makes it inexcusable that the storylines are so bad and poorly thought out. Daniel Bryan recently said they've failed at making stars and it's true.

Paige is nowhere near ready to be married. She is so immature.

Nikki broke the divas championship record last night. 296 days and going. I predict and hope it ends Sunday. WWE is spiteful and wanted to erase AJ from the record books. A big problem I have with her reign is Nikki wants to be the female Cena. She's all over IG and Twitter and in interviews promoting herself as a role model, as Mrs. "Never Give Up" (John's slogan). She backflips between being a heel in scripted WWE stuff and promoting herself as a face in off-scripted stuff. It is hugely confusing to be watching. I wonder if it's a Total Divas problem. My friends only watch TD and not WWE. They don't understand that the stars of the show (nikki & brie, this is clearly their show) are "bad" in WWE. Nikki and Brie have a huge social media and fan following that buys their stuff but doesn't watch WWE. So maybe they can't go full heel. Nikki is BRED to be a heel. Hell look at how she treats and talks to Brie (who I unabashedly love). She's the mean girl with fake boobs from high school who dates the high school QB. She has the bitchiness down.

Chelsea really needs to learn how to talk to Aubree about Adam. "Oh he has a lot of girlfriends? How many boyfriends have I had? That's right. one! What do you like better?" She just stopped sleeping with the man what, 18 months ago? Adam is a total piece of shit but he IS Aubree's dad and Chelsea participated in that. Chelsea loves that she is so much better than him and getting Aubree to basically tell her so.

Yeah, I laughed when Eva said she wanted to be The Rock. That dude oozes charisma like no other. Plus, he absolutely busts his ass. Eva is dull as dishwater with nothing to offer, not even a presence. There's nothing compelling about her. This show really is saving her WWE career and it's annoying, yet she goes on like she has all this ambition, drive and goals. Nope. They are the most boring couple. I know I keep saying it but Jonathon creeps me the hell out. Renee Young is freaking adorable. I love her short hair.

Ughhhh I saw her tweet that last night. So annoying. Paige, Nattie, Alicia or Eva should have been replaced first.

That article was great and so spot-on. I especially loved this line: "Have you ever done paint by numbers? Yeh that. But all the paint is grey. And the numbers only go up to 4." Eva tries to do wrestle-by-numbers. Her finisher (the Sliced Bread) is not just slow, but it is basically her opponent practically doing it to themselves. She cannot pull it off. I just looked up videos of Brian Kendrick doing it, and it's a pretty cool move. His opponent helps him but Kendrick does it fast and it looks good! Unlike Eva's Sliced Bread, the opponent is not doing 95% of the work AND taking the bump. It looks stupid when she does it.