wovenloaf

That was kind of painful... None of these people are charming. The boring blonde seems like she can barely stand Lyle. He seems harmless, but those scenes of three dorky dudes drinking beers in a little apartment were supremely pointless. These were supposed to be the "cool" kids in high school (except the one who loves swimming in grungy water and looks a solid decade older than the rest of them apparently)...? And the hairy dirty-looking guy is a local heartthrob...? Yikes.

I didn't get why they acted like it had to be 45 minutes of walking just because a bus didn't go all the way to their front door. If the Center is a 15 min walk away and there are presumably plenty of buses that go to/near the Center (like the one in front of the 1st house...), why was walking 10-15 min and then hopping on a bus not considered as a possibility? They did seem like nice people, but I kept feeling like for all their talk of "compromising," the only one who actually did any was the lady with the shorter hair (Kaitlyn?). She's the one who wanted to be near her job, but compromised on location so the other one's (Metha's?) leisurely walks to the coffee shop (or wherever) during the day would be short. She's the one who does all the laundry, but compromised on the place with no dryer. It seemed like she thought she had to because her partner came with her to Norway. Oh well, it looks like a cool town regardless!

For that third Rio de Janeiro house... I did not understand why that guy declared that it was so "bright and airy!" Huh? It had no windows. I think it had one tiny one next to the door, but none of the other rooms had a window. It was like a bunch of closets attached to each other. That combined with the drab coloring everywhere - ugh, couldn't stand that house. Also thought it was weird they went from "we have to be in the center of it all!" to "taking a boat taxi to and from our house all the time is fine!" Maybe it was less remote than it seemed? (I realize it's still in Rio, so "remote" is relative - it just seemed a bit remote compared to them saying they just *had* to be in Ipanema or Copacabana.) Oh well, as long as their happy with it, I suppose!

I thought the house the Key West couple bought was gorgeous. I loooved the Dade County pine in several of the rooms. I didn't really get why they were so disgusted by the kitchen, but then they liked that smaller, much drabber kitchen in the second house...just because it was open and had stools at an island, I guess? And then the enormous kitchen in the third house "wasn't functional" because the island didn't have stools, despite the huge table, outdoor patio, and living room right next to it? Okay. His opinions on kitchens made no sense.

I noticed that too. He never missed an opportunity (and even made them up when he could) to rag on the other for not being "handy" (or whatever)...He'd have us believe his poor partner is just a useless oaf around the house. Guy 1: I like the yard! Guy 2: Oooh, yaaaah, like you're going to mow the grass, right? *eyeroll* Guy 1: I've mowed grass before. Guy 2: Sure thing, honey. *even more exaggerated eyeroll*

IIRC, the clip from her intro video just showed her sitting at a desk next to what looked like their kitchen and him pointing to a piece of paper telling her to return someone's phone call. I don't remember what it was about, but I recall it seeming mundane. The multi-million dollar company certainly wasn't going to crumble if she screwed up that phone call. Then she was using a laptop on a patio and asking her nanny for cucumbers.

I think Kristin (the one who Liz told about her *Jade & Tanner's wedding!* rendezvous with Nick) said in her intro video the first week that she was a virgin? But she never said anything else about it (which I was glad about - I hate when the virgins go on and on about being a virgin).

Good lord Taylor is a bitch. Her little "confrontation" with Corinne in the swamp was ridiculous. Her pursed-lips, arms-crossed catty attitude was some 8th-grade level mean girl rubbish. And the "I can't believe you lied to Nick by telling him that I called you stupid. ...But now that you mention it, you are stupid." Um, okay. You really showed her, Taylor! Maybe when you're done explaining "emotional intelligence" to the masses, you can read your textbook's chapter on "self-awareness." As obnoxious as Corinne is, Taylor is really the one I would find insufferable to be around.

It's creepy to...have a sister?

Didn't they show her mom in her intro clip though? Corinne was talking about how she lives with her family and they are always together, and they showed the dad and some lady that seemed like her mother. It was a different lady than the nanny who brought her cucumbers, I thought? I think she's just been spoiled to an absurd degree, by dad, mom, nanny, whoever (all of the above).

Yeah, during that date she looked kind of...dirty. As in literally dirty - needing a shower/hair wash. I think it was a combo of the stringy hair and being so drunk by the end. Nobody looks good completely soused on wine, with unbrushed hair, on a warm day. Regardless, her personality is terrible.

Yeah they are really overdoing this mess with Noah's hallucinations. It started as an element of the plot that could have been vaguely interesting, but now it feels like every episode just revolves around his latest delusion(s). Even when other things happen it always eventually comes around to Noah hallucinating again. And I'm having a hard time caring that much... Mr. Wovenloaf refuses to refer to this show as anything other than The McNulty Show, and wants to know when he's just gonna calm down and enjoy some beers with Bunk by the train tracks... And I think I feel the same way at this point. I wish everything on this show didn't have to be so overwrought all the time!

And here I thought I was the only one! I liked him as well - I found him entertaining. I had the impression he wasn't going to be made to take this whole dumb charade that seriously and was just trying to have a good time...which I liked. And I always laugh when I think about how mad Chris Harrison seemed at the reunion that he couldn't get JP to tell Neeeekki he loved her on command. As for Nick - I'm not a particular fan of his, but he's alright. (I don't really see how he's that "controversial" though.) I did appreciate how he tends to be sort of blunt and to the point about things (now that he's stopped whisper-mumbling from behind his hand, that is), as opposed to just nodding at every word with a dopey fake-interested look on his face (*cough* looking at you, Ben Higgins). Like when Liz was blathering about rekindling their drunk *Jade and Tanner's wedding!* rendevous and he was basically just like "Uh, your intentions are questionable. I don't understand why you're here." And even on a lighter note, when that girl was declaring she was a dolphin and he was just like "False. That's obviously a shark."

Me too... especially since he could evidently hear enough to tell when Cole left, since he came back inside as soon as Cole walked out the front door.

I too thought the pregnancy test after one week was pretty pointless...? Am I just unaware of technology these days? The NuvaRing mysteriously falling out is actually a thing that happens in real life though... A good friend of mine quit using it because one month the thing just disappeared into thin air. She went to remove it and it was just...not there. She never did find it though. I feel like Charles's "management" on this show is written so lazily. It's just 1) Kelsey floats an idea, 2) he rejects it, 3) Kelsey goes back a day later to try to convince him it was a good idea, 4) he suddenly sees the light and caves to lame idea. Rinse and repeat. Or maybe I'm just generally tired of them trying to convince me Kelsey is so amazing at her job... I'd rather see more of Diana in action.

We already got the "is she jealous" bit when Jules said something about how Caroline is just mad because Jules has a title but Caroline doesn't... Yeah Jules, keep telling yourself that is the reason Caroline finds you unbearably annoying. I really did not understand the gift shop shed segment. Does she think she's going to save Mapperton by ordering different styles of coffee cups? That somehow if she picks the right design, people will be flocking to the shed to scoop them up?

Kyle's dislike for Sierra seems so over the top at this point... it's just making him look sad and bitter and completely unable to take rejection. If she had been interested in him, you know he'd still be walking around declaring she "shits rainbows" or whatever crass way he put it after their date. Get over it already dude, that was like 53675 episodes ago (feels like...) and you have a girlfriend that literally *just* came to visit. All that contrived walkie talkie drama was boring, I could barely manage to pay attention.

No. And it kind of looked like a child's birthday party in there... I like cupcakes as much as the next person, but I didn't really see how that cupcakes/balloons/inkjet-printer-photos-taped-to-a-door setup was supposed to be so romantic.

I didn't even really notice that Matt and Alla had an age difference. They don't look drastically different, age-wise. And "sweet angel" Matt acts like a whiny man-child, while Alla acts like...an adult. Regardless, I wouldn't really call it "huge." I'm undoubtedly biased about this, since Mr. Wovenloaf is 13 years older than me (I'll state for the record that I didn't have to "settle."), but I've never considered that an especially noteworthy age difference once people are in their 30s/40s?

Sierra was rude as hell on that fishing trip. I get she's not into him, and I think she did say something to him about not wanting it to be a "date" last week? (Or am I imagining that? Maybe she only said it in a talking head.) Regardless, sitting there on her phone, looking unamused, and making comments about how she'd rather just be back in the hot tub was pretty shitty. He didn't seem like he was being overbearing at all...he was sitting across the boat from her trying to make basic conversation, and she was acting like he was an annoying bug. Kelley is just awful. He was acting like a ridiculous child for basically all of tonight's episode. I don't know how Emily has been so gracious with that lunk following her around. Ben and Emily are cute together.

How has the period sex thing never come up before between Liza and Josh...? They've been together for what has to be many months (a year? I don't know what the time on the show is supposed to be...) at this point, and rarely bother to keep their hands off each other for 15 minutes in a row. That topic would have made more sense if it was a new relationship... Yeah, I also grow weary of Josh, but can't necessarily figure out why. I think it might be in part that the writers are dragging out his existence in Liza's life for way too long. He should have been kicked to the curb, imo, after he was dating that magazine writer person and made Liza climb out a window (though I was already sick of him by then too...). Now he doesn't really offer anything to the plot other than lame jokes about her age. (Side note - how does she put up with that? A couple times, okay, *harhar*. But it's constant. Get over it or move on, pal! Either way, shut up!)

I wondered that too. I was also confused because I always had the impression he was the owner of Patsy's. But apparently he was only the manager, and his disappearance is why Fiona is filling in? And wasn't she already acting as some sort of manager at various points last season anyway? She hadn't wanted to but Sean ended up convincing her to or something? I admit to not paying that close attention to the details of her job, but I thought Sean's sudden absence was weird since I thought he owned that place.

Yes, it looked to me like they just walked in some side door in the kitchen without even knocking. Then Patrick proceeded to be rude as hell to Alla from the first word he said on. Then tried to characterize her as some shrew for daring to be annoyed that Matt didn't show up to his own dumb dinner party with his own dumb friends. If Mr. Wovenloaf invited two people over that I don't know at all, who speak a language I don't speak that well, and then didn't come home by the time those two strangers barged into my kitchen without knocking (and insulted me within 20 seconds of doing so), I'd be pretty pissed too. Ugh. If Patrick is tired of Matt's relationship drama, that's understandable, but being rude to Alla isn't the answer. And he's a grown man who could just...not participate in said drama (by, for example, not going on a television show specifically devoted to that drama).

Amen! Yeah, it hadn't quite bought into the idea that he was smoking pot until I heard that comment... It wouldn't make any sense at all to say that about cigarettes. I don't know if they showed that comment before, but I missed it until this episode. But while I think it's ludicrous to blaze up every day in front of someone you just met and a camera crew (or in general, but to each his own), I still don't really get the intense dislike some people have for Derek. He may be a bit mopey at times, but he doesn't seem that egregiously terrible to me... I'd take him over dour, condescending Heather any day. And his mom seemed cool, so I'll let him have an extra point for that.

Yeah Nick's a clown. Not because he's not attracted to her or doesn't like her or doesn't want to have awkward emotional conversations every day - I understand all that. But that "marriage should require zero effort, ever!" rubbish, followed by that pointless temper tantrum. What a doofus. Get a grip. Does he plan on just calling it quits every time he gets in a mild disagreement with a significant other? No wonder he needs three "experts" to find a mate. And if half that crappy yellow cocktail makes him that much more of an asshole, there's another thing he ought to get a grip on. In theory I understand that being told to "open up" every five seconds would be irritating, but dude is a robot with a shitty personality who volunteered to marry a stranger, so he gets no sympathy from me on that front. His refusal to stop those dogs from stomping all over her really is ridiculous too. I love dogs, but i don't like them crawling on me in bed as soon as I wake up, or all hyper around my face. Ugh. That would piss me off - I don't know how someone who is afraid of them could put up with it at all.