Transformers: Age of Extinction (2014)

[Rick Kitchen]

There were good things and bad things about this movie.  I hated that it's nearly three hours long, every time a new battle started, I sighed and wondered if it was ever going to end.  I hated the Lucas character, played by TJ Miller, and was glad when he died.  But I love Stanley Tucci in everything, and was glad that he became comic relief and a good guy, and I adore Bingbing Li, and hope that the next one has Tucci and Li as the lead characters.

 

But having Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammer AND Titus Welliver as villains is overkill, c'mon.

 

And the daughter was a complete non-entity.  But the boyfriend was okay, and I hope he can pull off a Shakesperean role in his next film, "Macbeth", with Michael Fassbender and Marion Cotillard.

 

[SallyAlbright]

This movie was about an hour too long. They should have chosen either Chicago or Hong Kong for the second half of the movie, not tried to include both. Also, as ridiculous as I think he is, I have to admit I missed Shia LaBeouf and his brand of dorky smartass humor. That's not to slight Wahlberg, who was perfectly fine, but he was much more of a classic action hero. Stanley Tucci was great as always but Nicola Peltz as the daughter was truly awful. She is a cute girl but she made Megan Fox and Rosie Huntington Whitley look like amazing thespians. My boyfriend actually started laughing at her flat delivery of "Daaaaaaad" about halfway through because her expression never changed, no matter what emotion was called for. The actor who played the boyfriend (Shane?) wasn't bad though, he had a bit more charisma to him. All in all, it was fun but I'd recommend renting it so you can fast forward the 2.5 hours of battle scenes. Some of the dialogue was truly ridiculous though; one line that stands out is "my FACE is my warrant." How did the actor deliver that with a straight face?!

Edited June 29, 2014 by SallyAlbright

[Rick Kitchen]

One thing I forgot to mention.  Beijing and Hong Kong are something like 1200 miles apart.  Were they supposed to have driven that in one day?  I doubt if there are even highways all the way.

[peridot]

I wish I had waited until the movie was on Netflix.  I liked the idea of a mysterious alien race who made the transformers and people being wary of aliens after the events of the previous movie, but I didn't really like the human characters.  The daughter was awful and there was slow-mo in the silliest of places.  Both took me out of the movie a bit.

 

The Irish boyfriend felt unreal too.  Would a boyfriend really constantly talk down to and disrespect his girlfriend's father? I don't know, it may work since the daughter apparently didn't give a shit.

 

Overall, the movie felt too try hard.  The 3rd movie in the series should have been the last.

 

 

 

 

 

[ramble]

My youngest kiddo & I went this afternoon. It was popcorn entertainment if slightly stupid. I liked Stanley Tucci. He added a nice touch. I agree with @SallyAlbright that the smart ass dorky vibe would have added to this. Who knew I could miss Shia LaBeouf in anything. I would've even taken his goofy parents any day over the typical teenage daughter. I did not like her & found her useless. I can't help myself, I like the Wahlberg. I bought his character. I just wish he'd had an actress playing his daughter that had more going on than long legs & a mouth always slightly open. I think I'm repeating myself. I really did not like her. I enjoyed myself but am glad we got the matinee discount.

[ribboninthesky1]

I just saw this because a friend wanted to.  It was what I expected, though about 45 minutes too long.  Whatever his issues are, Shia brought something to the franchise that was sorely lacking in this film.  I found myself hoping "Romeo and Juliet" would die in a fire, and then Wahlberg could go on about his business with the autobots.  And maybe get with Sophia Myles, since her character was even more pointless than the boyfriend and daughter, if that's possible.  I'm pretty sure her character just disappeared by the end.  But there were all kinds of improbable things happening, so what's one more?  

 

Myles, Grammer, Tucci, and Welliver classed up the joint, so I hope they were well compensated.  

 

Some of the dialogue was truly ridiculous though; one line that stands out is "my FACE is my warrant." How did the actor deliver that with a straight face?!

 

Right? That was ridiculously hilarious.  

[NoWillToResist]

 

the daughter was a complete non-entity

 

God, seriously. I was rooting for her to die. I think the entire audience was about 1 millimetre away from seeing her lady parts in one of the opening shots of her, which panned up her long legs and ended just under her ass in those super short shorts.

 

I think the only thing that made this movie palatable was that I had such low expectations that it was impossible to hate it. Hubby and I quietly snarked on it as well, which helped. That said, the fifth time he asked "um...aren't there dinobots in this?", I wanted to smack him. Dino raptor was their big orgasmy shot in the trailer, so I told him that he should be prepared to wait until at least the fifth epic battle which would probably be in the last half hour.

 

Too many "action" sequences. I felt physically battered after watching this in "3D" IMAX.

 

Michael Bay couldn't have pandered to the Chinese market any harder if he tried but I did get a kick out of imagining all the Americans (in the movie) watching in relief as some other country got its ass kicked. ;)

 

I still think all the Autobots should have hitched a ride with Optimus at the end. God knows I would want nothing to do with 'humanity' after all that shit.

 

I had to go to the bathroom at one point and the hubby filled me in on what I "missed". What he mentioned was so preposterous that I fear he wasn't actually lying. He said there was a conversation between the dad and boyfriend where the boyfriend had some kind of laminated card in his wallet which basically boiled down to a 'get out of stat rape charge for free' card because his relationship with the daughter began when they were both minors. Did that actually happen? And...is that actually a thing? And...was this really necessary to include in an already over-long movie?

Edited July 9, 2014 by NoWillToResist

[dmeets]

Haha, I'm afraid it's true. The card was a printout of the "Romeo and Juliet" law or something, that stated because they started seeing each other in high school when he was 17, that they're still allowed to have sex. He quoted the exact number of the statute. Which of course led to the obligatory "you know what happened to R+J, right?" quip from Wahlberg. Apparently, boyfriend made the card and had been keeping it in his wallet all along, in preparation for the inevitable confrontation with dad. Because who wouldn't?

Edited July 9, 2014 by dmeets

[ribboninthesky1]

Yep, it happened, NoWilltoResist.  Like others, I thought the boyfriend was entirely disrespectful, and nothing likeable about him.  Which is why I referred to them as "Romeo and Juliet" in my earlier post and wished they had indeed perished. I think it may have been considerably more tolerable if the lovebirds weren't in it.  I normally don't actively wish for character death, but there it is. 

[NoWillToResist]

 

The card was a printout of the "Romeo and Juliet" law or something, that stated because they started seeing each other in high school when he was 17, that they're still allowed to have sex.

 

I am having trouble understanding how any semi-functioning 18 year old thinks it's appropriate to act the way he did to his gf's father during their first meeting and then doesn't have the self-preservation to NOT bust out proof that he's been fucking the daughter too. I get that the father was way over-protective but, Jesus.

 

Is that law an actual thing in reality? Also, what fucknut calls something like that the R&J law? Did they not READ R&J?

 

Every time the daughter was on screen, all I could see was a slightly more wholesome looking Tara Reid. I only know that her name was Tessa because Wahlberg screamed it approximately 15 million times in the film. I honestly can't remember what Wahlberg's name was in this nor the boyfriend's. Hell, I can barely remember any of the Autobots who were in this!! It was just big metal thing vs a different big metal thing.

 

When did Optimus Prime get his space-compatible rocket jet-pack thing? I seem to recall that he had it on the pyramids in the 2nd movie, but not the third and not until the very end here. Is there a reason why it only occasionally appears? Was this explained or it just plot contrivance? Because when he busted that out, I wondered why he didn't use that to (A) deal with the spaceship at the end, or (B) use it to get the fuck out of Dodge at the end of T3 instead of magically hibernate in an abandoned movie theatre.

 

It is both salvation and sad that Grammer and Tucci were in this. They elevated the material (IMO) and made their parts of the movie tolerable, but I feel like the movie doesn't deserve them, y'know?

 

Can someone explain Sophia Myles' character please? She turned up at the Arctic and was going to shut...whatever dig of Tucci's was happening...down if they had discovered something of historical value but the guys there threatened her. Yet she later turns up seemingly as someone in Tucci's employ, so...huh? Did she have authority to be there and shut it down or not?

 

One day, if I ever find myself at loose ends, I really want to put Bay's geography and timelines to the test. Because it certainly seems like people get from A to B way faster than they should (or slower, if the story dictates it).

 

Why did Optimus and the Autobots trash the headquarters of Tucci's operation? They kept talking about letting America know what was going on, but they had video proof (via the drone) that Tucci's people had captured, tortured and killed Rachet (an Autobot) by then. Why didn't they just release that video to media outlets?

 

Why do the creators of Optimus want him back? Why can't they get him themselves? Why did they have to send a dick to retrieve him? Clearly things weren't awesome for Prime, so why not frame the collection as a rescue operation? Bah.

[ribboninthesky1]

NoWilltoResist, are you actually seeking logic in a Michael Bay film? Particularly Transformers? There was a time where he bothered with some semblance of a cohesive narrative, but I think that was late 90s/early 00s.  You already have the answer on what the film was about:

 

It was just big metal thing vs a different big metal thing.

 

Fin. 

 

I was fortunate enough not to see the 3rd one.  But by god, the way this one ended, there will probably be another one.  Fingers crossed I can avoid seeing that one, because I'd rather not waste another 3 hours of my life on Bayhem. 

 

It is both salvation and sad that Grammer and Tucci were in this. They elevated the material (IMO) and made their parts of the movie tolerable, but I feel like the movie doesn't deserve them, y'know?

 

No, it doesn't.  But I kind of get why Grammer is in this - if I recall correctly, he has a history of financial troubles along with drug addiction.  So I can see him doing it for the paycheck. I said, out loud, "What in the fresh hell?" when Tucci showed up. 

[NoWillToResist]

 

NoWilltoResist, are you actually seeking logic in a Michael Bay film? Particularly Transformers?

 

Heh. Fair point. :D  In retrospect, it does seem stupid to ask about "plot"-related matters...

 

 

You already have the answer on what the film was about:

 

Quote

    It was just big metal thing vs a different big metal thing.

Fin.

 

You forgot to add "objectification of an allegedly hot female".  ;)

 

I, for one, am annoyed at the lack of equal opportunity ogling. I mean, they cast Marky Fucking Mark (minus the Funky Bunch) and I'm pretty sure he kept his shirt on the whole time. What the shit is that? If I've gotta sit through nearly seeing some young blonde's hoo-ha, I should be allowed some damned male abs. Why can't Bay pander to both genders? ;)

[Rick Kitchen]

The Romeo and Juliet law is a real thing, not just in Texas, but in other states, too.

[ribboninthesky1]

You forgot to add "objectification of an allegedly hot female".  ;)

True, my bad.

 

I, for one, am annoyed at the lack of equal opportunity ogling. I mean, they cast Marky Fucking Mark (minus the Funky Bunch) and I'm pretty sure he kept his shirt on the whole time. What the shit is that? If I've gotta sit through nearly seeing some young blonde's hoo-ha, I should be allowed some damned male abs. Why can't Bay pander to both genders? ;)

Hmmm, I don't think Mark is aging all that well, so I didn't feel that compelled to see the pecs. Nevertheless, I support equal opportunity ogledom. Because you know the skinny, barely legal girls aren't going anywhere, at least not in this franchise.

[wlk68]

If I've gotta sit through nearly seeing some young blonde's hoo-ha, I should be allowed some damned male abs.

 

 

Preach it, sister! 

Edited July 12, 2014 by wlk68

[Raja]

True, my bad.

 

Hmmm, I don't think Mark is aging all that well, so I didn't feel that compelled to see the pecs. Nevertheless, I support equal opportunity ogledom. Because you know the skinny, barely legal girls aren't going anywhere, at least not in this franchise.

I didn't notice the change of life, his arms are still pumped, jacked, ripped or whatever the present term is.. Then came the trailers for Transformer and I saw Wahlberg  playing the father of the sex symbol and saw more evidence of my advancing age. The thing is the "20 year old" race car driver boyfriend didn't seem the type to get the 14 year old fans to buy the magazines and posters, much less movie tickets either.

[nicepebbles]

The hubby and I watched this on Netflix over the weekend.  Maybe my expectations were really low.  I didn't think it was terrible.  The only reasons I won't say it was an enjoyable way to spend a couple of hours is

- The BF.  What an ass!  As it was said upthread, I do not understand how he couldn't show an ounce of respect for the dad.  I mean come on guy!

- Tessa.  She didn't give a shit that her BF was being an asshat to her dad.  Nor could she be bothered to understand that now things are messed up for him, too.  Or could she be bothered in that one scene to hug her dad, be grateful that he saved her, too.  Instead, she hugs her BF for like 20 minutes.  

- "My FACE is a warrant."  The minute that was said, I said, "That is why this movie was nominated for a Razzie."  I know there were other terrible lines.  That is the one that I remember.

- Was that scene in the elevator in China with the random dude kicking that dude's ass supposed to make me believe all Chinese people can do karate?  So annoyed by that.  

- Any Autobot that wasn't Optimus Prime or Bumblebee annoyed me and should go away.

- Oh, Titus Welliver! I have seen him recently on my TV doing awesome things. WTF with role?

 

I turned my brain off at some point because it was killing me trying to figure out the story from the first to this one. I really hope some fan has done the hard work so I can read it and figure out WTF is going on.

 

Lastly, seeing OPTIMUS PRIME TRANSFORM AND WHAT NOT IS NEVER NOT COOL.  I don't remember the Dinobots from when I was kid.  I thought they were cool in the movie.  Still, there is no need for another movie.

[immortalfrieza]

An awesome freaking movie. What plot there is makes sense, and I loved the fact that there was well done action spread throughout the entire movie and long stretches of it, and what few scenes weren't action were well done, which is what Transformers has always been about and what one that goes to watch it should expect to see. The only problem I genuinely have with it is Tessa, like others here I absolutely loathe that character. She does nothing in the entire movie but get captured and otherwise put in danger the entire movie and thus get in the way of everybody else, while whining about it the entire time like a 5 year old, which is the same exact problem with all the terrible human characters in Transformers media. It's made even worse by the fact that while this is happening her father and boyfriend are kicking ass and finding other ways to be useful the whole way like the human characters in Transformers should be. Other than that, I'm looking forward to seeing what they do from here.

[beetnemesis]

i enjoyed this film very much...characters could have been better done but they were much better then Shia Labuff and his love triangle with his GFs...was the only thing i hated about the previous 3. 4/5