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Archer Mafia

egavasc

By egavasc
in Primetimer Mafia Games

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FormerMod-a1

FormerMod-a1

22 minutes ago, CuriousParker said:

1 to DL @aquarian1 (CP) 4 because I'm not voting for myself and A1 is questionable.

Now that's funny.  I'm the reason one of our villains was killed at night.  I surprised myself as much as anyone since I normally bumble these things.  This makes me highly suspicious of CP.

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Guest

Guest

7 minutes ago, aquarian1 said:

Now that's funny.  I'm the reason one of our villains was killed at night.  I surprised myself as much as anyone since I normally bumble these things.  This makes me highly suspicious of CP.

Or it means you are on 1 of the 2 villain teams.  Also, I have followed MuuMuu's lead (up until today) and she asked for you to be investigated.  She must have had her suspicions too.  Of course, I could be wrong.  If I am, @MuuMuuChainsmoker, let me know and I'll switch my vote (to someone other than me).

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Lisin

Lisin

So we have what? 5 hours or so? Where is everyone? I'm honestly at a loss and would jump on either DL but even if I do that if other people don't show up it won't matter... I'll be around and checking the forum and I'll vote before I go to bed...

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Hanged Man

Hanged Man

sorry I missed discussion and vote, work was crazy yesterday and today, on the plus side i domt have any client visits scheduked fir this week but on the minus side we probably wont have another day story until like Friday.

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Drogo

Drogo

                                               mainimage.jpg

 

Night 5

The Romantic Getaway

         Dr. Krieger had disappeared mysteriously. He left a note saying he’d be gone for a few days and the ISIS crew was baffled. Archer was certain he had gone to Germany, to fulfill his destiny as the clone of Adolf Hitler. Everyone else had shot this down (Krieger looked nothing like his supposed clone), but no one else had a better competing theory. Most likely Dr. Krieger had finally taken his holographic girlfriend and eloped. They were probably on a very perverse honeymoon, the sordid details of which would burn the eyes of our dear readers. All of ISIS was anxious to have him back, but they wished him well in his sabbatical.  At least he'd left an ISA keycard and credentials in his sex toy drawer, where Ray could easily find them. 

                                                         PGlKu.gif

 

         

In Space

          Ray and Cyril had arrived in space with Other Barry. It was a long and complicated plan that they managed to keep Archer from butting into and screwing up. Cyril stole a localized EMP that essentially knocked out all of Other Barry’s circuitry for awhile. He was awake but unable to move. That was the same device that had knocked Ray’s legs out. Before his departure, Dr. Krieger had finally rebooted them and Ray was back on his feet.  Or he would be once they flipped the artificial gravity lever.

                                                                              lf79M.gif

         “This is amazing! Who would have imagined we’d be in space! I mean, I’m devastated about the death of Lana, but SPACE! And getting revenge on Other Barry for killing her? This is really the best thing that could have come out of this.” Cyril said excitedly. Some time had passed since ISIS had received Lana’s body, rolled up in a rug. Other Barry wasn’t exactly subtle. Their grief wasn’t fresh by the time this motley pair exacted their revenge plan.

                                                                giphy.gif

         “I know right? And these spacesuits feel amazing against my nipples! I could probably stay up here forever. But we should probably get on with what we came here to do,” replied Ray.

         “Yeah, I guess. C’mon and help me drag the body. All that steel and titanium is so much heavier than I can carry. Not everyone here has bionic legs, Ray.”

         "Every day is Lower Body Day, sweetcheeks!" 

         The pair grabbed their hostage and hoisted him into the escape pod. Ray booted him back up and quickly slammed the pod door. Other Barry jumped to his feet and started banging on the window. While his body wasn’t operating, his mind was functional and listening to every word that fell out of these two doofuses mouths. They clearly didn’t know that he could still hear them and he heard every aspect of their plan. He had to get out of this pod before they launched it.

                                                                            giphy.gif

          “Let me out! If you don’t, I’ll start beating against this door until it breaks and then I will be in there with you and I will kill you. If you let me out, I’ll let you live. You know how strong I am, you know I can do it. I’ll give you until three. One….two…..”

         “Three” Cyril said, pressing the big red button that released the escape pod and sent it hurtling uncontrollably away from the ship.

         Other Barry would be lost in space forever.

                                                                  fly%20through%20main.gif?__SQUARESPACE_C

                                                                  tumblr_mdancgV98b1r4xjo2o1_500.gif

                                                                  tumblr_n2gj4xAo5i1qbh26io2_500.gif

 

“Well Other Barry. I guess we’re stuck here. Chess?”

 

 

Living In The Danger Zone:

  1. Lisin
  2. Deadpool
  3. The Crazed Spruce
  4. aquarian1
  5. MMCS
  6. Machiabelly
  7. The Hanged Man
  8. Ser Jorah Mormont

 

No Longer Rampaging: 

  1. Oinky Boinky - Woodhouse / Team ISIS - You are Woodhouse, manservant to Sterling Archer. Despite your own storied military career, you’ve been in service to the Archers since Malory Archer gave birth in your Tangiers bar. You are one of the few consistent things in Archer’s life, having raised him since he was a baby and always being there while his mother was off on spy missions. The heroin helps you overlook the fact that he treats you as subhuman. Good thing you know how to cover your tracks when you need to: knock him out, splash scotch and women’s underwear about, and tell him he slipped chasing an Asian prostitute. He’ll never be the wiser. You have no additional powers in this game. 
  2. Dougal - Barry Dylan / Team ODIN - You are Barry Dylan, ODIN agent and biggest rival to one Sterling Malory Archer. Beyond the mere fact of working at rival spy organizations, Archer has been the cause of much physical and emotional distress. First he dropped you from a balcony for ruining his suit. You fell on a car and broke your leg, needing steel rods and screws. Then he slept with your fiancée (the Pele of anal!). You will have your revenge on Archer if it’s the last thing you do! You are a Villain Investigator.
  3. Silverstormm - Ron Cadillac / Team ISIS - You are Ron Cadillac, husband to Malory Archer and the largest Cadillac dealer in the tri-state area. In your earlier days you were a car thief, but you have long since gone straight. You used your ill-gotten gains to start your car dealership and share your profits with the families of your former crew. You are a nice gentleman, although sometimes a little uncouth; you carry around saltines in your tux at the opera in case you might get hungry. This drives your wife crazy, but you’re the one who won her over and you’re the one who gets to keep her. You are a Mason with your wife, Malory Archer. 
  4. Jesse - Len Trexler / Team ODIN - You are Len Trexler, head of ODIN and possible father to Sterling Archer. You run the rival spy agency to former lover Malory Archer’s ISIS. ODIN is wealthier, more technologically advanced, and frequently undercuts ISIS for lucrative government contracts. Despite your perceived clear superiority, you still aim to destroy ISIS at every opportunity. Malory Archer won’t marry you, so she must be destroyed. You are a Villain Protector.
  5. saoirse - Katya Kasanova / Team KGB - You are Katya Kasanova, KGB agent. Acting as a double agent trying to destroy ISIS from within, you fell in love with Archer and died to save his life. Fortunately Dr. Krieger is a mad scientist and brought you back to life as a cyborg. Outside of your removable, vibrating vagina and glowing red eyes, everything is basically normal. You use Archer’s love for you to manipulate him for your own diabolical purposes. You are a Villain Investigator. 
  6. BizBuzz - Boris / Team KGB - You are Boris, a Junior Lieutenant KGB officer and personal assistant to Major Nikolai Jakov. Desperate for any attention, you would do anything for your boss. And I do mean anything. Jealous of Sterling Archer and the chance that Major Jakov may be his father, you sabotage his paternity test. Maybe one day you’ll be good enough for him. One day. You are a Villain Goon. 
  7. caprice - Lana Kane / Team ISIS - You are Lana Kane, number two agent at ISIS because, well, nepotism. You were discovered by Malory Archer at an animal rights protest where you fearlessly stood down her gun. Strong, beautiful, and determined, the only thing you aren’t good at is dating. You can even write in cursive with one magazine of a Tec-9. But hold down a relationship? No way. Your trust issues aren’t exactly your fault though, given your time with Womanizer Archer and sex-addict Cyril. Good thing you can (and have) kick both their asses.  You are a Hero Investigator.
  8. Curious Parker - Other Barry / Team ODIN - You are Other Barry, the alter ego of Barry Dylan ODIN agent, an unholy abomination of metal fused with flesh. After all the distress caused by Archer, Barry started to go a little insane and you came on to the scene. You are the incarnation of all of Barry’s blood lust, the outlet for all of his pain and frustration. You have no qualms about your levels of violence and are determined to ruin Archer once and for all. You are a Villain Goon.

 

Important stuff:

  • Twilight has ended; no gametalk until the next Day story is posted.  
  • There are 0 clues in the Night 5 story.  Those with Night actions have 24 hours to submit them.  
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caprice

caprice

Thank you, Cyril and Ray! I knew (am surprised) you'd have my back! Well, *I* knew. In character, I'd be surprised. And probably touched. (Shut up, Archer.)

I'm buying the next round, boys. :D

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Jesse

Jesse

On 6/30/2016 at 8:31 PM, MuuMuuChainsmoker said:

Does anyone know anything about @Machiabelly in RL?  I'm concerned we still haven't heard anything from him in about a month.  :( 

Yeah, I've also been wondering. 

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Drogo

Drogo

                                          Archer-S3.jpg

 

Day 6

At Sam Whiskey's, a swanky restaurant in Manhattan

                                            IndoChine-Jakarta015.jpg

         Even though they had suffered losses, the ISIS crew soldiered on. The world was still a dangerous place; that became clearer every day. Today’s mission saw the team working to determine which member of the restaurant staff was a secret agent. Malory had gotten a tip that there was an assassination attempt in the works. A series of Venezuelan diplomats had reservations at this particular restaurant (reservations that were next to impossible to get!) and restaurant security was notoriously lax. Archer and Cyril would go undercover in the kitchen to search for the culprit and Malory would observe potential weaknesses from the dining room. Cheryl and Pam were back in the offices, fighting over who should get to accompany Ms. Archer to her eight pm reservation. Cheryl should have really known better. Malory always kept dinner reservations to seven thirty. Only whores and fools ate later than that. Instead, she would take Nikolai Jakov as her date. The newly single Ms. Archer knew what a stir it would be if she was seen dining with an old flame.

                                                 archer-live-and-let-dine.jpg

 

           In the kitchen, Archer and Cyril were trying to look like they knew what they were doing. Cyril, who cooked all the time, was having a better time of it.

          “So yeah, you could do this thing on Friday’s where you make stir fry, and call it Stir-Fridays. Because it’s Friday? And stir fry?” Cyril tried to persuade the head chef.

          “This is an upscale American style restaurant. We do not do stir fry. Not even for the sake of puns. Especially not for the sake of puns.”

                                                     thumb_8014-1362167598.png

          “Yeah Cyril. Who would be so stupid to suggest a five star restaurant would have specials. Now get your ass over here and chop these potatoes.” Archer berated. Once Cyril was close to him, he whispered, “Hey dipshit. We’re supposed to be finding an assassin not spreading terrible ideas. Now go talk to people other than the head chef to figure out who is going to kill the Venezuelans!”

          Back out in the dining room Malory and Jakov would have been enjoying a nice dinner, if it ever managed to come out of the kitchen. Malory had terrified the waitstaff; no one would come to the table. She demanded to see the chef. Jakov tried to calm her down.

                                                                                normal_archer_3_7b1.jpg

         “Sveetheart. I vill talk to chef. See vhat haz happened. Do not vorry.”

         “Imbeciles. They’re all imbeciles. No wonder there’s going to be an assassination here. They can’t even manage to perform the simplest of tasks. Hmmmph.” Malory muttered as Jakov walked to a server. The server ushered the Major into the kitchen.

         Jakov had other plans to see through. Sure, he would love to have a nice dinner with his beloved, especially now that she was single again and there were no other suitors in sight. But there would be time for that. He would make sure there would be time for that. He grabbed the first available vegetable (an eggplant), made a quick slit in the bottom and slipped something into it. Then he pointed at Cyril.

         “You, you are Cyril Figgis, yes?”

         “Yeah?”

         “How you say? Catch?” Jakov said as he threw the eggplant at Cyril’s face. The untrained, unathletic agent missed and the purple propulsion hit him in the face just as the fuse of the M-80 hit the firework.

                                                            archer-eggplanttotheface.gif?w=650

            The eggplant exploded, becoming a mess of fire and shrapnel.

            When they managed to get the flames put out, there was not much left of the face of Cyril Figgis.

                                                                                               MV5BMjM0NDQwNjI1NF5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNzAx

 

Living In The Danger Zone:

  1. Lisin
  2. Deadpool
  3. The Crazed Spruce
  4. MMCS
  5. Machiabelly
  6. The Hanged Man
  7. Ser Jorah Mormont

 

No Longer Rampaging: 

  1. Oinky Boinky - Woodhouse / Team ISIS - You are Woodhouse, manservant to Sterling Archer. Despite your own storied military career, you’ve been in service to the Archers since Malory Archer gave birth in your Tangiers bar. You are one of the few consistent things in Archer’s life, having raised him since he was a baby and always being there while his mother was off on spy missions. The heroin helps you overlook the fact that he treats you as subhuman. Good thing you know how to cover your tracks when you need to: knock him out, splash scotch and women’s underwear about, and tell him he slipped chasing an Asian prostitute. He’ll never be the wiser. You have no additional powers in this game. 
  2. Dougal - Barry Dylan / Team ODIN - You are Barry Dylan, ODIN agent and biggest rival to one Sterling Malory Archer. Beyond the mere fact of working at rival spy organizations, Archer has been the cause of much physical and emotional distress. First he dropped you from a balcony for ruining his suit. You fell on a car and broke your leg, needing steel rods and screws. Then he slept with your fiancée (the Pele of anal!). You will have your revenge on Archer if it’s the last thing you do! You are a Villain Investigator.
  3. Silverstormm - Ron Cadillac / Team ISIS - You are Ron Cadillac, husband to Malory Archer and the largest Cadillac dealer in the tri-state area. In your earlier days you were a car thief, but you have long since gone straight. You used your ill-gotten gains to start your car dealership and share your profits with the families of your former crew. You are a nice gentleman, although sometimes a little uncouth; you carry around saltines in your tux at the opera in case you might get hungry. This drives your wife crazy, but you’re the one who won her over and you’re the one who gets to keep her. You are a Mason with your wife, Malory Archer. 
  4. Jesse - Len Trexler / Team ODIN - You are Len Trexler, head of ODIN and possible father to Sterling Archer. You run the rival spy agency to former lover Malory Archer’s ISIS. ODIN is wealthier, more technologically advanced, and frequently undercuts ISIS for lucrative government contracts. Despite your perceived clear superiority, you still aim to destroy ISIS at every opportunity. Malory Archer won’t marry you, so she must be destroyed. You are a Villain Protector.
  5. saoirse - Katya Kasanova / Team KGB - You are Katya Kasanova, KGB agent. Acting as a double agent trying to destroy ISIS from within, you fell in love with Archer and died to save his life. Fortunately Dr. Krieger is a mad scientist and brought you back to life as a cyborg. Outside of your removable, vibrating vagina and glowing red eyes, everything is basically normal. You use Archer’s love for you to manipulate him for your own diabolical purposes. You are a Villain Investigator. 
  6. BizBuzz - Boris / Team KGB - You are Boris, a Junior Lieutenant KGB officer and personal assistant to Major Nikolai Jakov. Desperate for any attention, you would do anything for your boss. And I do mean anything. Jealous of Sterling Archer and the chance that Major Jakov may be his father, you sabotage his paternity test. Maybe one day you’ll be good enough for him. One day. You are a Villain Goon. 
  7. caprice - Lana Kane / Team ISIS - You are Lana Kane, number two agent at ISIS because, well, nepotism. You were discovered by Malory Archer at an animal rights protest where you fearlessly stood down her gun. Strong, beautiful, and determined, the only thing you aren’t good at is dating. You can even write in cursive with one magazine of a Tec-9. But hold down a relationship? No way. Your trust issues aren’t exactly your fault though, given your time with Womanizer Archer and sex-addict Cyril. Good thing you can (and have) kick both their asses.  You are a Hero Investigator.
  8. Curious Parker - Other Barry / Team ODIN - You are Other Barry, the alter ego of Barry Dylan ODIN agent, an unholy abomination of metal fused with flesh. After all the distress caused by Archer, Barry started to go a little insane and you came on to the scene. You are the incarnation of all of Barry’s blood lust, the outlet for all of his pain and frustration. You have no qualms about your levels of violence and are determined to ruin Archer once and for all. You are a Villain Goon.
  9. aquarian1 - Cyril Figgis / Team ISIS - You are Cyril Figgis, ISIS comptroller. Despite being good at your job and very well endowed, you struggle with deep-seated insecurity. Basically, you wish you could be Sterling Archer but lack all of the swagger. Your attempts at becoming a field agent have been a mixed bag. While you are very smart and good at improvisation, guns have never been your strong suit and you may have shot a few of your coworkers on accident. Better off sticking with the numbers. No safeties there! You are a Clumsy One-Time Vigilante.  One night in the game you may submit a night kill in attempts to hit a villain. Should you miss and hit a Hero, the next living Hero in alphabetical order will die too. 

 

Important stuff:

  • There are 0 clues in the Day 6 story.
  • There will be 36 hours for Day.  Morning (12 hours of discussion without voting) will end around 8:30pm Eastern, then there can be up to 24 hours of discussion with voting. 
  • 4 votes are needed for a DL.  Day will end when a majority vote has been reached or the time limit is up.
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Lisin

Lisin

God Damn It. 

Ok, I'm willing to listen to anyone but I need some more solid info than what we've been given. I'm going back through the story now. Come on Heroes! We can DO IT! 

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The Crazed Spruce

The Crazed Spruce

7 hours ago, Ser Jorah Mormont said:

I’m a good guy. All I’m gonna say is we need to look more closely at Spruce.

Oh, rrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally? I've just been sitting here all along, waiting for y'all to investigate me. 'Cause I'm innocent. And I can't exactly stand up at the moment.  

If you look back, you'll see that @caprice already figured out who I was.  And that's all I've got to say about that....

*points two fingers at @Ser Jorah Mormont*

*points two fingers at my eyes*

*points back at @Ser Jorah Mormont*

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Lisin

Lisin

Oooooh that's interesting. I'm pretty sure you've all figured out who I am, and know I'm a hero, and I also have nothing yet to add because I haven't found any clues. God. Damn. It.

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MuuMuuChainsmoker

MuuMuuChainsmoker

I was originally a bit suspicious of a1 because of a seeming over abundance of "qu" words in the stories.  Taking a fresh look at the stories, I suggest that we consider @Hanged Man.  There are a few seemingly odd references to the number 12 and Google tells me that the Hanged Man is the 12th card in the Major Arcana. There are also references to hands and right hands.  The Hanged Man is supposed to have 2 right hands.  Plus there is a thing called the Hand of Glory which is a talisman made of the hand of a man who has been hanged. 

All that could be tinfoil, but it's the best I can find.  I'm on vacation at the moment, so won't be around regularly for the next few days.

 I'm going to vote 1 for Hanged Man (MMCS), 3 to close out this game (??).

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Hanged Man

Hanged Man

First and foremost I would like to congratulate all us heroes on having not once DL'd a fellow hero. That is exemplary. Possibly unprecedented.

Secondly I remain mostly convinced that Ser Jorah is our villain

Thirdly, if you are who I think you are @MuuMuuChainsmoker, while the thought of me dying may excite you, I am and always have been a hero and you are wasting your time targeting me.

Fourthy if I do get DL'd obviously pay attention to the people voting for my DL

Fifthly

I'm going to vote 1 for Hanged Man (MMCS), 3 to close out this game (??).

1 to DL Ser Jorah Mormont (HM) 3 to yada yada yada

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Lisin

Lisin

BLARG!! Confused again... which I suppose is normal for me... though for whatever reason I felt more suspicious of SJM than TCS so

2 to DL Ser Jorah Mormont (HM, Lisin) 2 to do the thing

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Oinky Boinky

Oinky Boinky

(edited)

Whore island - been there, done that, going again but this time I have my towel...  

 

Archer small.jpg

My daughter has always called Hedo -whore island. She worked really hard to get me this towel before I leave Saturday. 

Edited by Oinky Boinky
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