Line Items: West Wing Quotes

[FozzyBear]

"SO FAR UP YOUR ASS!"

-CJ, aka my spirt animal.

[Guest]

"Is it a photogenic baby?" (Leo looks back in horror) "Not all of them are!"

(I don't know the character's name, but he is Cyrus' prostitute husband on Scandal.)

[betsyboo]

"Is it a photogenic baby?" (Leo looks back in horror) "Not all of them are!"

(I don't know the character's name, but he is Cyrus' prostitute husband on Scandal.)

BRAM!!! If you are reading the recaps, you'll note that LTG starts using his name as a verb. hilarious.

[Guest]

This might have been more in the delivery than the actual quote, but it cracked me up.

 

Charlie: We've been sleeping together for kind of a while.
Jed: You might wanna consider quitting while you're ahead.
Charlie: Yes, sir.

[Guest]

Annabeth to Leo: Thanks, but no. I just think it's better while we're spending so much time together that we try and keep our distance whenever possible.

Leo: Keep our distance?

Annabeth: Because of the tension. (She leaves.)

Leo: What tension?

[Guest]

Josh "so jail. You actually going?"

[Melancholy]

Josh "so jail. You actually going?"

 

Ha! I forgot about that one. That's so Josh. 

[Guest]

"All my friends are in this room."

"Ok, you win most pathetic."

[Guest]

"In DC do they let felons vote?" (Awkward pause) "too soon?"

"Little bit."

[Guest]

"Did you take an awkward pill or something?"

"What? I'm always like this!"

[Guest]

"Josh has the political equivalent of Tourette’s syndrome. He can’t help himself. We wait until his next spasm, then we strike back."

[Melancholy]

Ha, those are great but that Tourette's syndrome line from Bruno is such a favorite. It's cool that Bruno's first real interaction with Josh was when Josh basically had the exact kind of political Tourette's that Bruno was talking about- when Josh very showily and obnoxiously shamed a select committee of Congress to give him money to fund the tobacco lawsuit partly because Josh was unbelievably impatient to use angry, smart-ass rhetoric in a RIGHTEOUS cause against Congress but then, Bruno told Josh that by getting the money in just a Washington DC broker game, Josh gave up a winner of the issue of the underfunded tobacco lawsuit for the national election. 

[Guest]

"Why is there hugging?"

"Vinick has a cold."

"Well isn't that precious."

[Guest]

"How's Josh?"

"What do you mean?"

"Which part tripped you up?"

[Kohola3]

DONNA

We don’t need some kind of permission for this?

JOSH

No.

DONNA

What about supervision, shouldn’t there be some official supervision?

JOSH

We’re making a fire in a fireplace, what kind of supervision do you want?

DONNA

FEMA? The American Red Cross?

That whole scene is one of my favorites - right up to poor Charlie having to wake the President.

Edited December 14, 2015 by Kohola3

[SingleMaltBlonde]

I love Fitzwallace

 

Leo McGarry: This is always when you say something.
Admiral Percy Fitzwallace: Nah. nah. Have you changed shampoo? You have, I can tell. 'Cause your hair seems bouncy and more manageable.
Leo McGarry: I like to look good for you.

Edited December 15, 2015 by SingleMaltBlonde

[Melancholy]

That whole scene is one of my favorites - right up to poor Charlie having to wake the President.

 

I've seen the fireplace scene....so many times that I'm too embarrassed to start guesstimating. Even to admit it to myself. 

 

Josh Lyman: Could you possibly get us some dried leaves?

Donna Moss: Yeah, I'll just run out to the forest and be right back.

[Donna leaves room]

Sam Seaborn: You know what?

Josh Lyman: You think she was being sarcastic?

Sam Seaborn: Yeah. I don't think she's getting the leaves.

Josh Lyman: You know what we could use?

Sam Seaborn: Newspaper.

Josh Lyman: See, this is what I'm talking about. This is teamwork.

Sam Seaborn: It really is.

[PeterPirate]

I have been helping someone close to me deal with some unpleasant people at work. I've been referring to the following passage from On The Day Before: 

 

Know what? Bill Russell was getting eaten alive because they could never get him to throw an elbow.He didn't want to do it, so Red Auerbach told him to do it one time. "Throw an elbow in a nationally televised game you'll never have to do it again."  You bet your ass they'll know the leak came from us.

 

 

I'm please to say that yesterday she had one potentially difficult department meeting go very well in her favor.  

[Guest]

"Thanks, boss."

Favorite line yet

[betsyboo]

"Thanks, boss."

Favorite line yet

while you had clearly joined the wingnut family well before now, your full-on heartbreak means you are officially no longer a newbie. You can never leave us now!! xo

[jaytee1812]

From Election Day Part 2:

Discussing election results

Donna: ... And the president's son in law.

Bram: Double digit whipping, he's about to concede on CNN

Lou: If he can find the podium

Josh: Are they play as a defeat for the first family.

Bram: I think they're playing as a victory for his congressional district.

It's the way Josh snort laughs at Bram's line that makes it.

[Kohola3]

I swear I could post something every day.  So many great lines translate as well today as when we first heard them.

 

From The Drop In

 

President Josiah Bartlet: 2,000 environmentalists are going to try to kill me tomorrow night.
Charlie Young: We should go, sir.
President Josiah Bartlet: They're going to come after me with vegan food and pitchforks.
Charlie Young: That doesn't really sound like something people do.
President Josiah Bartlet: Still, I'd like you to get between me and any boiled seaweed you see coming my way.

[jaytee1812]

I'm watching an episode of Law & Order and a defence lawyer mentioned strict scrutiny. All I could think was "you thought strict scrutiny was a pick up technique."

[St. Claire]

Toby's "...wrath from high atop the thing..." is getting beaten by Troy McClure over on Disparate Things Mountain. This makes me sad.

[BizBuzz]

Toby's "...wrath from high atop the thing..." is getting beaten by Troy McClure over on Disparate Things Mountain. This makes me sad.

 

I just voted ...

[Guest]

Josh: They're going to try to bait me?

CJ: They're going to try to catch you saying something arrogant.

Josh: They don't need to bait me for that!

[Guest]

Toby: "Sarcasm's a disturbing thing coming from a woman of your age, Mrs. Landingham."

Mrs. Landingham: "what age would that be, Toby?"

Toby "Late 20s."

[Kohola3]

Toby: "Sarcasm's a disturbing thing coming from a woman of your age, Mrs. Landingham."

Mrs. Landingham: "what age would that be, Toby?"

Toby "Late 20s."

 

Not good enough to get him a cookie though!

 

Bartlet: It's not like I'm totally without experience, you know.

Morris Tolliver: Yes, sir.

Bartlet: You're talking to a former governor. I was commander-in-chief of the New Hampshire National Guard.

Morris Tolliver: You guys get into a lot of tough scrapes, did ya?

Bartlet: We didn't have to. We'd just stand on the border and stare you down. Then we'd all go for pancakes.

[jaytee1812]

Toby: "Sarcasm's a disturbing thing coming from a woman of your age, Mrs. Landingham."

Mrs. Landingham: "what age would that be, Toby?"

Toby "Late 20s."

Mrs Landingham: Atta boy.

[Guest]

Toby: There's literally no one in the whole world I don't hate right now.

[Guest]

Toby: Leo, wouldn't this time be better spent plotting a war against a country that can't possibly defend itself against us?

Leo: We can do that later, Toby. Right now I'm talking about President Andrew Jackson.

[FozzyBear]

Ha, those are great but that Tourette's syndrome line from Bruno is such a favorite. It's cool that Bruno's first real interaction with Josh was when Josh basically had the exact kind of political Tourette's that Bruno was talking about- when Josh very showily and obnoxiously shamed a select committee of Congress to give him money to fund the tobacco lawsuit partly because Josh was unbelievably impatient to use angry, smart-ass rhetoric in a RIGHTEOUS cause against Congress but then, Bruno told Josh that by getting the money in just a Washington DC broker game, Josh gave up a winner of the issue of the underfunded tobacco lawsuit for the national election.

"Oh course they gave you the money. I'm surprised they didn't send it over with a stripper and some candy"

You'd be surprised how often I plagiarize that line.

[betsyboo]

Toby: There's literally no one in the whole world I don't hate right now.

This is currently my FB profile pic.

Http://40.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2hphtd5TG1r92ksvo1_500.jpg

[FozzyBear]

I've seen the fireplace scene....so many times that I'm too embarrassed to start guesstimating. Even to admit it to myself.

Josh Lyman: Could you possibly get us some dried leaves?

Donna Moss: Yeah, I'll just run out to the forest and be right back.

[Donna leaves room]

Sam Seaborn: You know what?

Josh Lyman: You think she was being sarcastic?

Sam Seaborn: Yeah. I don't think she's getting the leaves.

Josh Lyman: You know what we could use?

Sam Seaborn: Newspaper.

Josh Lyman: See, this is what I'm talking about. This is teamwork.

Sam Seaborn: It really is.

Oh my god, the completely sincere happiness on Sam's face as he basked in the glow of teamwork. Such a geek, and I love him so.

Bruno: You know you guys can find more ways to blow it.

CJ: in our defense, we do actually know that.

[Guest]

CJ "you know what I forgot to do today?"

Josh "what?"

"Feel the President's glands."

"Is it possible I'm taking something called euthanasia?"

"Echinacea?"

"That sounds more likely."

[Kohola3]

My all time favorite scene of the series.  Too many lines to copy and you really need to see the faces.

 

[betsyboo]

My all time favorite scene of the series.  Too many lines to copy and you really need to see the faces.

 

How did they all not crack up?? Esp MS!! John Spencer looks like he might at one point, but the rest hold it together.

 

Poor Charlie. Who hasn't been there? "I left you alone for TWO MINUTES!"

[Bastet]

How did they all not crack up??

 

Well, we know from the bloopers that at least Richard Schiff did, but, yeah, I'd love to see the dailies on that one.

[BW Manilowe]

Well, we know from the bloopers that at least Richard Schiff did, but, yeah, I'd love to see the dailies on that one.

Considering Rob Lowe knew Martin the longest at that point (or was 1 of the few in the cast who already knew him), since he grew up living near the Sheen/Estevez family & was friends particularly with Charlie & Emilio, I'm surprised he didn't crack up. A few times when Sam smiled in the scene, I thought he was gonna bust a gut but he managed to hold it in.

[Kohola3]

Allison Janney had a smile most of the time - I think she was seriously holding it all in.  And I, too, would have paid a lot to see the dailies.  I don't know how Rob Lowe didn't dissolve when Sheen hugged him.

[FozzyBear]

Toby: Babies come with hats.

[ChicksDigScars]

Ha, whenever I hear anything about Michigan, I can't help hearing "You didn't say Michigan sucks? I thought you said Michigan sucks." Sorry Michigan, no offense!

And as an ND fan living in Michigan, this is absolutely my favorite line. I have a co-worker that posts the You Tube of this scene on his FB page every time ND plays Michigan in anything.

Edited December 28, 2015 by ChicksDigScars

[Guest]

And as an ND fan living in Michigan, this is absolutely my favorite line. I have a co-worker that posts the You Tube of this scene on his FB page every time ND plays Michigan in anything.

 

I'm a Michigan State fan living in Michigan and I love this scene just because it insults U-M. (And my mom is a Notre Dame fan living in MIchigan!)

[Kohola3]

Go Green!  (I know, off topic.  But MSU fans need to stick together.)

[betsyboo]

ROGER
Are you aware that the new Premiere Magazine list is coming out Monday?

C.J.
The Hundred Most Powerful People in Hollywood.

ROGER
Yeah.

C.J.
Yes, I am, and I can tell you that you're on it, and uh, congratulations, and it must, you know, feel good being that powerful.

ROGER
I went from third to ninth. I dropped to ninth! Do you know how that looks? Do you know how many people were ahead of me?

C.J.
Eight?

[Moose135]

And I loved Toby's reaction when she explained it to him:

Does he still make the playoffs, or is the cutoff line...

[Guest]

Josh "hey, lunatic lady! Trust me when I say there is absolutely no way you are going to meet the President!"

Jed "hey, Josh."

Josh "hello, Mr. President."

[Guest]

Are you sure you want your one question to be that stupid?

[FozzyBear]

CJ upon meeting the Cartographers for Social a Justice.

CJ: Well you have to put it back!

CSJ: Why?

CJ: Because you're freaking me out!

Toby and CJ at some function (I don't remember)

CJ: Can this be one of those evenings where we drink too much and forget we work together?

Toby: If only!

[Guest]

"They were just mad at me for imposing discipline and calling them stupid!"