Quotes

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Walt: Are you wearing makeup?

Henry: A little.

[JackONeill]

All said by Walt:

 

"I am 911."

 

***

 

"That's my beer."

 

***

 

"I'll take care of it.  All of it."

[MaryHedwig]

It's another beautiful day at the Red Pony Saloon and continual soiree

[CoderLady]

If Henry says it he never uses contractions so: "It is another beautiful day at the Red Pony Saloon and continual soiree"

[MaryHedwig]

If Henry says it he never uses contractions so: "It is another beautiful day at the Red Pony Saloon and continual soiree"

 

 

You got me.  I contracted it without even noticing.  That is the one plot point that bothers me.  Why is Henry the only Native American that does not use contractions?  I want the back story here.

Edited June 17, 2014 by MaryHedwig

[SlovakPrincess]

Why is Henry the only Native American that does not use contractions?

 

 

Really, the only character in all of television.  It's jarring sometimes ... and reminds me of Spock on Star Trek.  

[DHDancer]

Really, the only character in all of television.  It's jarring sometimes ... and reminds me of Spock on Star Trek.  

 

Actually more correctly Data from NextGen:  could not use contractions.

[DittyDotDot]

You got me.  I contracted it without even noticing.  That is the one plot point that bothers me.  Why is Henry the only Native American that does not use contractions?  I want the back story here.

 

I don't know why he's the only one on television, but it's not uncommon for older generation Native Americans to talk this way.  I actually love this aspect of Henry's characterization, it reminds me of some of the older Native Americans I knew growing up. Why television has never depicted this, I really couldn't tell you though. Possibly, it could be that the actors portraying those parts speak with contractions naturally, so the lines get said how they get said.

[shapeshifter]

Henry in response to Walt asking if he can get information from Deena:

That bridge has already been incinerated.

[SlovakPrincess]

"I got upset." - Walt, when all of his employees confront him about the ransacked mess he made in his office.

[Idiotboy]

Walt: If there wasn't trouble I wouldn't be here.

 

... 

 

Trouble's always comin'.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Lucien: Grease monkeys and roughnecks, stay on that side of the road. Holy rollers, keep that circle going.

Vic: It's like a strip club threw up on a Barbie camper.

Walt: I'm sorry that my deeply held belief that you are a dishonorable untrustworthy person led me to falsely accuse you of killing Branch Connolly.
Jacob: And your wife.
Walt: And my wife. I now know it was Barlow.
Jacob: The rich white man turns out to be the bad guy. What a shock, eh? For the record, Walt, that was the worst apology I've ever received.
Walt: It was honest.

Edited November 24, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo
Fixed wonky spacing after forum upgrade

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Henry: Hello, Cady. You look nice.
Cady: Thanks. You don't.
Henry: This what I look like when I am surprised.

Donna: You should get a cell phone.
Walt: Why?
Donna: Because they exist.

Edited November 24, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Vic: What are you doing?
Walt: Making contingency plans.
Vic: By burying guns and money? -
Walt: Yep.
Vic: So I guess you're getting ready for the zombie apocalypse.

Witness: I'm not one of those heartless journalists who would walk away from the man bleeding on the ground. I stayed to help.
Vic: You're a journalist.
Witness: Well, a blogger. And, uh, a podcaster. And a true-crime novelist.
Vic: Would I be familiar with any of your work?
Witness: Well, I haven't been published yet, but, uh, the blog has been live for a few months now, and I've already got over 200 clicks.
Vic: A day?
Witness: Total.

Walt: Vic, call the FBI. See if they have information that's not in the local police reports.
Vic: Me? They hate me.
Walt: Well, they kind of hate all of us.

Walt: I'm the last person who would know where [Henry]'s gone.
Mathias: I know, but your daughter could help. 
Walt: So ask her. 
Mathias: I did. She won't. Because of her ethics, or something. Lawyer stuff.

Henry: I am sorry for what happened to you, Hector.
Hector: Why are you sorry?
Henry: I got you involved in something complicated. I got you killed.
Hector: Nah. I chose a violent line of work, Standing Bear. Live by the sword, die by the sword.
Henry: I never thought I would hear you quote Aeschylus.
Hector: Who's Aeschylus? I heard that in a Lil Wayne song.

Marilyn: The good thing about crappy land nobody tries to take it from you. The bad thing is, people discover it's a good place to hide and to do bad things.

Henry: Are we there yet?
[Walt drags Henry on the stretcher made of his coat]
Henry: Walt, you should really get a cell phone.

Vic: And just so you know, my original idea how to handle this was to come in here and punch you in the face. But Walt asked me to be like him. So I decided to take the honorable high road instead. That's one more thing you should thank him for.
Sawyer: Moretti. Your boss is going to lose the trial, and he's gonna lose his job, and you're gonna be on your own. You sure you want to talk to me like this?
Vic: Absolutely.

Edited November 24, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Ferg: How much do people pay for goat milk?

Lucian: Well, I'll be damned, Sheriff. You must be the first lawman since Wyatt Earp come looking for gold.

Walt: A man was found dead here, shot inside this search area. Name was Dub Kayson.
Lucian: Kayson. Owns that goat farm?
Walt: Anything else you know about him?
Lucian: I'm guessing he's about as broke as a Wyoming goat farmer.

Henry: Walt's bedside manner is not unlike a barbed-wire fence.

Walt: We might be dealing with a family drama an estranged stepson who's angry that his mom was buried on Dub's property. When we found Dub's body, we also found that somebody had been digging by the mother's tombstone.
Lucian: A grown man trying to pull Mommy out the grave? Sounds like you need an APB for Norman Bates.

Travis: You've been taking your vitamins, right? And you're good with your folic acid?
Vic: Yeah, the, uh, pill organizer you got me has been a real godsend.
Travis: Okay, you know what? Excuse me for giving a shit. You need someone to help you. And look - we just need to be careful, you know, considering your age. 
Vic: My age? 
Travis: Yeah. Well, to be honest, I have no idea how old you are. I'm just guessing we're not dealing with the freshest eggs in the dairy aisle here.
[Vic gives him a death glare]
Travis: What?
Vic: How are you still single?

Lewis: I don't have the damn treasure, and there is no way that I killed someone. I wasn't even anywhere near the crime scene! Ask that asshole I was fighting with in the square. He's my alibi! You know, the guy I was following!
Walt: I thought you said you weren't following him.
Lewis: Okay, so maybe I lied a little before, but I am not lying now.

Edited November 24, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Trey: As someone who's been a victim of abuse at the hands of law enforcement, I'm psyched to finally see the wheels of justice turning. And I'm honored to be part of their lubrication.

Dave: I noticed you didn't raise your hand earlier. You don't know Sheriff Longmire?
Sam: Can anyone ever really know another man's soul?
Dave: Let me phrase that another way. You ever have a run-in with the sheriff?
Sam: I've never been arrested.

Walt: So, Bob, how'd you get mixed up in all this?
Bob: Like I told Ferg, I-I answered a Craigslist ad. It said to come for a job interview at 1:00 p. m. at the corner of Court Street and Main.
Walt: And?
Bob: And it said to wear a red bow tie, black suit and a gas mask.
Walt: That seemed normal to you?

Vic: Walt Longmire - part sheriff, part helicopter parent.

Warden: Hawk's got the brain God gave a pigeon.

Hawk: I have misophonia. It's a real condition. Look it up.

Walt: The Federalist Papers should be should be right here.
Aaron: They're in Fiction!
Vic: I thought they were essays.
Aaron: Fiction! Freedom is an illusion!
Walt: You remember Aaron Two Rivers. The guy who does everything backwards. He's a heyoka. He follows his own logic.
Aaron: I follow the thunder god's logic. He locked me up to find liberty, but it's cracked like a bell.
Walt: Thanks, Aaron. We'll look in Fiction.

Walt: Aaron? We're also looking for works by Jefferson and Thomas Paine.
Aaron: Jefferson is here in Parenting. He's a Founding Father. And Paine is in Medicine. That just makes common sense.

Walt: Officer Rudolph, according to your supervisor, you spend a lot of time overseeing the prison library.
Rudy: Yeah. So?
Walt: Well, he said that you specifically requested that assignment.
Rudy: Well, it's quiet. Men don't usually shiv each other over the latest Nicholas Sparks.
Walt: You read romance novels?
Rudy: Are you surprised?
Walt: Yeah.

Travis: Let me make sure it's safe first.
Vic: I'm the one with the gun, Travis.

Travis: Why are you like this? Why do you push away anyone who wants to help you? You don't have to keep proving how how strong you are. All right? Walt and I are only trying to protect you because we care about you. Don't you get that?
Vic: What do you want me to do?
Travis: Next time, just say "Thank you"! Okay?
Vic: Thank you.
Travis: You could also say "I'm sorry."
Vic: I'm sorry for what?
Travis: For blowing off our date.
Vic: What date?
Travis: Last night. Uh, I cooked us a steak dinner.
Vic: You said that my iron was low. That wasn't a date. That was like a nutritional consultation.
Travis: I bought tiramisu.
Vic: Oh, Jesus, Travis! Thank you. And I'm sorry.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Travis: Walt. I got here as fast as I could. How is she? How's Vic?
Walt: I asked you to watch her and keep her safe!
Travis: I tried, okay? She tricked me.

Meg: Um, I just got a call from the police.
Ferg: Wait. I am the police. The entire department's in the building right now, so who called you?

Mathias: Well, your friend's mom tried to rob the casino.
Ferg: Come on, now. I'm sure that's not what she was-
Mathias: An older white woman goes belly-up on a blackjack hand, starts screaming her head off, calls the dealer a, quote, "Indian giver," then scoops all of her chips into her purse and takes off running.
Ferg: Where's Mrs. Joyce now?
Mathias: Locked in a car. 
Ferg: In the parking lot? 
Mathiaas: Nope. Right there. Grand prize on the Big Wheel.

Mrs. Joyce: It's like I'm talking to Cary Grant crossed with Raymond Burr.

Henry: I was unaware that you and Deputy Moretti were involved.
Travis: Well, that's the price I pay for discretion, I guess. Hit me. You know what my problem is? 
Henry: There is just one? 
Travis: I'm a giver. Give, give, give. And I keep waiting for somebody to say, "Hey, thanks so much, giver guy. You're the best." But nobody does that, because nobody wants to give anything back. So I got to change things up. I got to stop giving and start taking what I want. I mean, what do you think?
Henry: I might try to not make everything about myself.

Nighthorse: You want some? 
[Nighthorse offers Henry some Red Vines]
Henry: I am more of a Twizzler man.

Travis: Now, I heard that that Eamon guy used to work here. How come I can't find his file? I've been through all the A's.
Walt: Eamonn is spelled with an E.
Travis: With an E? That's crazy. What is he, Amish?
Walt: Travis, you're drunk.
Travis: No shit. I bet Ee-mon is sober, though, right? I bet Ee-mon is so great. You You tell me what makes Ee-mon so great, huh? Is he smarter than me? He a better bull rider than me? He better-looking than me?
Walt: He's quieter.

Nighthorse: When an FBI agent drops your statement into that envelope and then ties a string around that little figure eight, it's never gonna get looked at again, man.

Walt: Ferg called and told me you were checking out. That's a bad idea.
Vic: At least I'm not ripping out my tubes and running down the hallway half-naked like some people I know.

Walt: Excuse me. You work here?
Joe: Well, I don't call it work per se, but, yes, I keep it all humming. Name's Joe-Mega 'cause I used to be a mega-partier, but now I'm just mega-blessed.
Walt: All right, Joe, have you seen anything or anybody suspicious in the last few days?
Joe: Well, we do celebrate diversity here at the Chrysalis.

Ferg: Does [your mom] keep that rifle loaded? 
Meg: No, I mean, not, like, loaded loaded. There's always one in the chamber, though. 

Walt: What makes you think it's a bomb? 
Joe: It's just a feeling you get. You know, some packages say "Happy birthday, sweetheart," and some say "Call the police. " 
Walt: Who delivered it? 
Joe: I don't know. I wasn't in the office when it came. Now, I'm somewhat of a handwriting I won't say expert, but enthusiast. You see how the writer pressed down real hard and everything slants left? Now, that suggests deep insecurity and hostility. And the red ink ohh. Frankly, that's just a little on the nose.

Ferg: Jamie, stay right where you are. 
Jamie: Come on! I'm just doing my job! 
Ferg: What, delivering pizzas?
Jamie: No, it's a ride-sharing service. It's called Uber.
Ferg: There's Uber in Absaroka?
Jamie: Not officially, no. I didn't want to go through all of the red tape, background checks. That's not illegal, is it?

Edited November 25, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Vic: Are you scared [about your trial]?
Walt: Well, I want to say no, but you did see me bury my money.

Dave: This is an auspicious sight. First time you've been on time. 
Walt: I've been on time.
Dave: Well, agree to disagree.

Dave: Now, remember what I said. When you're in court, you want to look like nothing bothers you. Tucker's gonna say a lot of upsetting things about you. Don't let it get to you. But don't look like you're trying not to let it get to you. There's a difference. People can tell. The best thing really is for nothing to get to you. Just breathe. Namaste. Okay, see, you cannot do that.
Walt: What?
Dave: What You look like you want to kill him.
Walt: I don't want to kill [Tucker Baggett].
Dave: Well, tell it to your face.

Tucker: Ladies and gentlemen, righting wrongs is why I do this job. But I can't do it alone. I need your help. Now, in the coming days, folks are gonna tell you that Walt Longmire is a legend. I say never meet your legends. They disappoint you. Except for Buck Owens, of course.

Walt: Tucker Baggett cannot destroy my career and my life with these lies.
Dave: Well, the good news is I cross-examine Wilkins in the morning. I'll correct some of those gross mischaracterizations. I mean, they are gross mischaracterizations, right? I mean, you didn't kill that Trot Simic guy in the rez, did you?
Walt: No, I did not.
Dave: Great. There any other witnesses to that?
Walt: Just the guy who says I did it. And a hawk. Maybe.

Dave: Let me ask questions that might come up.
Lucian: Hit me.
Dave: So how long ago did you retire?
Lucian: Well, I still do some work around there just, uh, here and there unofficially.
Dave: How long has it been since you worked officially? 
Lucian: Ten years, give or take. 
Dave: Give or take what?
Lucian: Five years.
Dave: So this is a 15 year old reference.

Ferg: They just let you waltz right in?
Lucian: Ferguson, nobody notices old people. Once you're past the 18-to-49 demographic, nobody gives two eggs out of the same hen about you.

Walt: What were planning to meet Tucker Baggett about?
Alex: You know, sometimes people like to just talk for a while before they go leaping into the thing that they really want to talk about.
Walt: Well I guess I've never been too good at that.
Alex: Slow as molasses, but always in a hurry.

Henry: I did shoot somebody for you once but not this time.

Walt: You learn anything?
Ferg: Yeah, a lot of Irish settled in Wyoming. This is the 13th of 20 Allen O'Briens.

Alex: It's amazing, isn't it? Barlow kept 35 guns in this house, and not a single picture of Branch.

Cady: Do I have the right room? I'm looking for people being interviewed illegally without the benefit of counsel. Oh, here they are. I would've thought you, of all people, would know not to talk to the cops without a lawyer present.

Lucian: How many books have you read in your lifetime, Walt? Can you remember them all? Allen O'Brien is the 20th most important person in Lonesome Dove. That's a novel of 800-plus pages.
Walt: Well, it was a good book.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Ferg: I'm not 100% sure of cause of death, but I'm gonna go with arrows.

Vic: Why didn't you just call me on my cellphone? I would have come in sooner and just done this for you.
Ferg: Walt took my phone.
Vic: And kept it? That's weird.

Ferg: Can you tell me anything about your neighbor?
Zach: Yeah, his taste in music sucks.

Walt: What kind of user leaves his drugs behind?
Mathias: A dead one?

Mr. Dawson: Penicillin can cause anaphylactic shock. It could kill you.
Cady: Are you refusing treatment on religious grounds?
Mr. Dawson: No, not religious. Historical. Both Elena and I and our families were abused by a Western society that claimed to be "helping." I was removed from my home when I was a baby, and by the age of 5, I lived in 44 different foster homes. 
Mrs. Dawson: And after my mother gave birth to me, they sterilized her against her will at the very hospital you're threatening to take our son to.

Ferg: Once I did know, I couldn't call you.
Walt: Actually, you could. I had a cellphone.
Ferg: Yeah, but I didn't. Can I have it back?

Guy: Um, hey, now. I'm just I'm looking for my friend.
Walt: Ian?
Guy: Yeah.
Walt: You think you're gonna find him in that drawer?

Zach: I haven't been, uh totally honest with you, Sheriff. There's this
Walt: What's this?
Zach: Uh, dates, times, and license-plate numbers of all vehicles that stopped by the victim's house for the past couple weeks.
Walt: Including the length of the visits. Down to the minute.
Zach: I always suspected something was going on.
Walt: Why didn't you give us this before?
Zach: Cause it makes me look kinda crazy.

Ferg: So, of the 30 cars that Zach identified in front of Ian Whitmore's house, 25 of them are registered to people on the rez.
Mathias: You sound judgy.
Ferg: What? No, no. I'm just counting. 
Mathias: Mm-hmm.

Quinn: Mr. Nighthorse, isn't it true that over the past five years, Sheriff Longmire has officially questioned you 16 times? 
Nighthorse: 17, actually.

Nighthorse: As we've talked about, I've had more than my share of run-ins with the sheriff. But, ultimately I believe Walt Longmire is an honorable man. And I'm not about to destroy a man's name and livelihood for the sake of making a profit. Truth be told, I've got a bit of a problem, actually, with people getting their land taken away by rich white men.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Mr. Harp: Well, what's a cowboy like you doing up here in New England, sir? Is that hat made out of beaver or rabbit?
Walt: Well, it's, uh it's beaver.
Mr. Harp: I always wanted a hat like that.

Mr. Harp: As far as I'm concerned, we don't have a son. Not since he dropped out of med school.
Walt: Why did he drop out?
Mrs. Harp: Bad influences.
Mr. Harp: No. A man is responsible for his own choices. And if he can be that easily influenced, then it's a sign of bad character.
Walt: So I gather there were people in Eddie's life that you two didn't care for?
Mr. Harp: You make it sound like he just started smoking. That's not it at all. He chose evil. He went to work for these people He went to work for murderers. They killed me brother. And Eddie, he went to work for them like family didn't matter to him at all. That's when we cut him off. And then we had to leave Boston. He and his new friends, they were causing so much trouble with our the police, with our neighbors. We didn't feel safe. So we moved to this sinkhole. Money goes in, and bills come out.

Walt: I'm guessing if we can follow Rusty, he might lead us to Eddie.
Henry: Makes sense.
Walt: The only problem with that is, uh, Rusty's already seen me and Ferg, so we can't follow him. And Vic's not ready to go back out in the field. Which leaves Ruby.
Henry: Are you sure she's up to it?

Rusty: What's your deal?
Henry: I do not have a deal.

Edited November 26, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Ferg: I made a judgment call. The right call, it turns out.
Walt: Well, except Eddie Harp is dead.
Ferg: Eddie was a murderer.
Walt: Still, I would have liked the chance to talk to him. Eddie might have been the key to proving Nighthorse is dirty and to finding Malachi.
Ferg: Come on. Eddie wouldn't have given you jack shit. Pardon my language. Long day.
Walt: I think it'd be for the best if you took a short leave of absence.
Ferg: Why?
Walt: Because you just took a man's life.
Ferg: I also saved a man's life.
Walt: Even so. That kind of thing can affect you. Why don't you take a couple of days off? 
Ferg: I'm fine.
Walt: Are you? Did that gunshot mess up your hearing?
Ferg: No, sir.
Walt: Then go home.

Cady: I don't understand. I'm a hero when I shoot an abusive husband, but I'm a villain when I try and help a sick child?
Mandy: What's there to understand? The first time, you shot a white man. And the second time, you acted like one.

Zach: So you want me to guard your daughter without her knowing that I'm guarding her.
Walt: Yep. And I'll pay you.
Zach: Uh, you got a picture of the guy you're worried about?
Walt: I do.
Zach: That's, uh, that's the back of his head.
Walt: Yeah. I've known you to work with less, Zach.

Zach: Whatever you believe to be true, assume it isn't, and and you search for the truth.

Walt: I'll admit that you've built a very good character profile of Cowboy Bill, but your case has holes.
Ferg: I think this is the guy, Walt! 
Walt: I know. Maybe that's what blinded you. And it's my fault.
Ferg: How's that?
Walt: Because, Ferg, you learned from me. You're doing what I do. If I think I'm right, I focus on the evidence that supports my gut instinct. And I do not work hard enough looking into the stuff that might contradict it.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

Vic: But where did [Travis] go?
Joe Mega: He did not say. Though, to be fair, I did not ask.

Walt: Henry, this deadbolt I installed works a whole lot better if you lock it.
Henry: Next time maybe you can also install a doorbell.

Nighthorse: Where is everybody?
Cady: The community's enthusiasm for me has dropped off.
Nighthorse: Aiding and abetting a kidnapping will do that.

Nighthorse: My financial forecasting was overly optimistic, it turns out.

Cady: What are you doing here? 
Zach: Umm...
Cady: And why, for two days, did you help me repair and clean up my office for no pay?
Zach: I'm in a pretty tricky situation here.
Cady: Well, you're also kind of acting like a stalker.

Vance: How long you been sitting on this? Cause the only way this report makes any sense is if you've met Shane Muldoon in person. 
Walt: You're good at your job. 
Vance: It also means you let him go.
Walt: My evidence only implicated Eddie Harp. All I had on Shane was a sense that he and our local casino owner had known each other for a long time. It's pretty hard to prosecute that.
Vance: So you engaged the head of a nationally organized crime syndicate all by yourself?

Henry: Are you Johnny Runs Far? 
Manager: Nope. 
Henry: Is he here?
Manager: Nope, and neither are you.
Henry: Johnny's supposed to sign for this order.
Manager: No, I sign for everything that comes through here. 
Henry: I was told Johnny Runs Far -
Manager: You were told wrong. He's not even in today. He's off on Tuesdays.
Henry: He was not at home. 
Manager: On his days off, he works at his uncle's shop. But why stop at his home if your delivery's for the casino?
Henry: That is a good question. I really did not think this through.

Vic's dad: It's not giving up if you're making a smarter choice.

Walt: Trust me, talking isn't for everybody.

Walt: You ever hear of the, um, the Running Eagle Challenge?
Vic: Isn't that like a rez race for kids?
Walt: No, no, it's more like a, well, a triathlon for women. I just think a physical challenge might be better for you right now. Sometimes, if the body leads, well, the mind and heart will follow.
Vic: So, what, like a a swimming, biking, and running, or...?
Walt: Well, there's there's running, and there's canoeing, and there's horseback riding.
Vic: Um, I can do one of those things.
Walt: Well, it's a challenge. It's not supposed to be easy.
Vic: Can I say "no"?
Walt: No.

Cady: You really love being a cop, don't you?
Zach: I do. I mean, I did.
Cady: Well, I think you're really good at it.
Zach: I'm impressed by you, too.
Cady: No, you're not. 
Zach: I am. 
Cady: No, you're not. 
Zach: Yes, I am. 
Cady: No, the only thing you've ever seen me do is, uh, oh yeah, get involved in a kidnapping and then lose all of my clients.
Zach: And you were very good at both of those things.

Walt: I want to get Vic entered in that race you're putting on.
Henry: The Running Eagle Challenge? Not possible.
Walt: I know it's late entry 
Henry: Late is not the issue. The event is Native only.
Walt: Well, can't you make an exception?
Henry: Walt, this is not a fun run. It is a very intense competition for people who are in recovery.
Walt: Well, Vic is in recovery.
Henry: I do not mean to minimize the trauma of being shot, but I am not talking about physical recovery. The people in this competition have overcome drug addiction.

Mathias: You expecting trouble from this guy, Walt?
Walt: We're arresting him for possible heroin trafficking, so I wouldn't rule it out.

Walt: Johnny! Johnny Runs Far! Hello? Anybody in there?
Guy: He took off. He was in there a few minutes ago. Supposed to be getting me a beer. He got a call on his cell and took off.
Walt: He tell you when he'd be back or why he was leaving?
Guy: No, but the fact that a bunch of cops just showed up, I kind of figured it out.

Vic's dad: I'm Victor Moretti. I guess word of my visit hasn't spread like wildfire.
Walt: Welcome to Wyoming, Chief Moretti.
Vic's dad: You can call me Vic. 
Walt: I don't think I can do that, sir.

Vance: This is all very clever, in a lo-fi kind of way.

Walt: You still getting a signal on that?
Vance: Do you think I would just sit here silently if I lost it?

Walt: Can you hear anything they're talking about?
Vic: No. And I don't read lips, either.

Vance: Sheriff, I know you think we're a bunch of bureaucrats who just make deals with criminals.
Walt: Oh, I get the feeling you think that, too.

[Nashville]

The overall story lines may get incredibly weak at times, but on the individual exchanges...?  GOD, sometimes the writers hit gold.  :D

[mledawn]

Rewatching some episodes, and literally lol'd at this from the ep with the kids on the wilderness leadership trip.

[Walt is using a rope to rig up a climbing harness]
Vic: Aren't you worried about rope burn?!
Walt: Yep