Worst Movie Parents

[greekmom]

On 12/26/2019 at 12:37 PM, Blergh said:

Spartan Girl,

 

 I didn't know  that that had happened but then ONE viewing of the very first Home Alone was quite enough for me so I didn't bother with any sequels, etc. (and especially considering his so-called parents having learned nothing, it's just as well).  Is this year's Boxing Day going to be my Emily Litella Day? Oh well. 

i always told my kids when they were little and watching this "see - she just has too many kids to keep her eye out for them." when they asked how she missed Kevin. LOL.

Right now Midge and her ex husband from the Marvelous Mrs. Maisal are both horrendous parents. But given how clueless Midge's parents are, I am not shocked.

[Spartan Girl]

Mikey’s dad in Dominick and Eugene. He not only abused Mikey and pushed him down down the cellar stairs resulting in his death, he threatens Nicky (who saw the whole thing) to keep his mouth shut, and even tries to straight up shoot Nicky after Nicky takes Mikey’s baby brother in an attempt to protect him.

Then of course, there’s Nicky and Gino’s dad, who beat them and caused Nicky’s brain injury. Nicky’s shell-shocked horror as he watched Mikey’s murder is especially haunting when we later realize that it triggered the suppressed memory’s of his own abuse—one of Tom Hulce’s best acting moments for sure.

[Spartan Girl]

Okay, so Melanie’s parents in Sweet Home Alabama probably aren’t the worst movie parents ever, but the fact that they didn’t bother even trying to visit her in New York all those years (despite the fact that Melanie sent them airline tickets) and favored took Jake over her in the divorce doesn’t speak well of them. I mean you know your parenting priories are out of whack when you visit Civil War battlefields but you won’t make one measly trip to New York City even though your only daughter lives there.

And for the record, while Melanie shouldn’t have kept her background a secret, she’s not a bad person for changing her last name from Smooter to Carmichael. 

[scarynikki12]

18 minutes ago, Spartan Girl said:

you know your parenting priories are out of whack when you visit Civil War battlefields but you won’t make one measly trip to New York City even though your only daughter lives there.

If they needed a reason to visit that wasn't Melanie there's an obvious one right up their alley: New York's been around for centuries and there's historical stuff all over the place. It sounds like Melanie expected them to stay with her so they got free airplane tickets and a free place to stay in New York City yet they didn't take her up on it until she got back with Jake.

Their obvious preference for Jake screamed "we always wanted a boy but got stuck with Melanie and latch on to Jake as the son we never had". I think the only reason they wanted Melanie to get back with Jake is because they wanted to keep him as their son in law. 

[Spartan Girl]

53 minutes ago, scarynikki12 said:

If they needed a reason to visit that wasn't Melanie there's an obvious one right up their alley: New York's been around for centuries and there's historical stuff all over the place. It sounds like Melanie expected them to stay with her so they got free airplane tickets and a free place to stay in New York City yet they didn't take her up on it until she got back with Jake.

Their obvious preference for Jake screamed "we always wanted a boy but got stuck with Melanie and latch on to Jake as the son we never had". I think the only reason they wanted Melanie to get back with Jake is because they wanted to keep him as their son in law. 

And it was very telling that Melanie felt obligated to change her wedding to Andrew from New York City to their town just to make them happy. Because the second Andrew said the wedding was going to be in New York, Melanie’s dad suddenly got all sour, acting like he was getting dragged to the dentist instead of his daughter’s wedding.

Between her shitty ex, her shitty patents, and that shitty town in general, it becomes very apparent that Melanie made the wrong choice.

[Ohiopirate02]

16 hours ago, Spartan Girl said:

Okay, so Melanie’s parents in Sweet Home Alabama probably aren’t the worst movie parents ever, but the fact that they didn’t bother even trying to visit her in New York all those years (despite the fact that Melanie sent them airline tickets) and favored took Jake over her in the divorce doesn’t speak well of them. I mean you know your parenting priories are out of whack when you visit Civil War battlefields but you won’t make one measly trip to New York City even though your only daughter lives there.

And for the record, while Melanie shouldn’t have kept her background a secret, she’s not a bad person for changing her last name from Smooter to Carmichael. 

I can't shake the feeling that they also pressured Melanie to marry Jake in the first place.  The movie chose not to show the religious component to living in a small Southern town, but it's there.  Abstinence only sex education, mom never talks to Melanie about safe sex or get her on the pill knowing she had a boyfriend, and when she gets pregnant at 17 or 18, the only solution is marriage.  

[Spartan Girl]

1 hour ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

The movie chose not to show the religious component to living in a small Southern town, but it's there. 

And the movie chose not to show the racist component to living in a small predominantly white Southern town, but it was there. The dad was obsessed with everything about the Civil War and said shit like “the South has risen again”. And calling Andrew and Melanie’s friends Yankees. It would also explain why they didn’t want to visit someplace like NYC. “We’re not racist but we wouldn’t fit in a big city.” Uh-huh. Sure.

[Spartan Girl]

Angus’ bitch mother in The Holdovers. I understand that his father’s mental illness and breakdown was traumatic, but that doesn’t give her an excuse to basically abandon Angus for her new rich jerkass husband. Leaving him alone at the school during Christmas so that she could go on a honeymoon was bad enough, but she was clearly eager for an excuse to send him to military school. During the Vietnam War no less!

[Spartan Girl]

Since Donald Sutherland's passing has brought up Ordinary People again, I don't know if Beth was added to this thread, but even if she has, she deserves to be on it again.

Losing a child is terrible.

BUT.

In no way whatsoever does it give you a free pass to blame and take out your pain on your remaining child(ren) or anyone else for that matter. That is called playing the victim, and it wears on everyone else really fucking fast. And if you can't get that through your thick skull, get used to spending the rest of your life alone rotting in your own misery.

Edited June 23 by Spartan Girl

[Wiendish Fitch]

3 hours ago, Spartan Girl said:

Since Donald Sutherland's passing has brought up Ordinary People again, I don't know if Beth was added to this thread, but even if she has, she deserves to be on it again.

Losing a child is terrible.

BUT.

In no way whatsoever does it give you a free pass to blame and take out your pain on your remaining chil(dren) or anyone else for that matter. That is called playing the victim, and it wears on everyone else really fucking fast. And if you can't get that through your thick skull, get used to spending the rest of your life alone rotting in your own misery.

This, so much. I wouldn't wish the loss of a child on a single person, it is the worst of tragedies. That said, nothing gives you carte blanche to weaponize your grief and trauma, especially against your own children.

Buck is dead, Conrad is alive, he needed his mother, and Beth failed him dismally. So, yes, Beth 100% deserves to be on this list. 

[Blergh]

On 6/21/2024 at 3:52 PM, Wiendish Fitch said:

This, so much. I wouldn't wish the loss of a child on a single person, it is the worst of tragedies. That said, nothing gives you carte blanche to weaponize your grief and trauma, especially against your own children.

Buck is dead, Conrad is alive, he needed his mother, and Beth failed him dismally. So, yes, Beth 100% deserves to be on this list. 

Agree with ALL the above (and even though Miss Moore DID manage somehow, somehow to have Beth depicted with some sympathy even to the very end).

However,  she didn't just take her grief over losing her fave son Buck out on the haunted Conrad, she was PUNISHING him for having been the one to survive even AFTER he'd attempted suicide! And it's possible he was SO desperate to gain parental love from her that THAT he may have attempted that horrific act against himself to grant her wish. Even when she berated her sympathetic brother and sister-in-law for not safeguarding their own children from possibly drowning in their own family pool, by stressing the her unending grief for her son, she didn't mention her other son's survival as a blessing!

Oh, and the ONE time Conrad's memory of Beth spontaneously  having laughed got depicted not only was she laughing at something that Buck had said (while completely ignoring Conrad's presence even  then), she was laughing at her elder teen son jocularly  recalling  in her presence  having gotten himself  along with some girl  drunk as though it was an adorable  quirk on Buck's part instead of a cause of parental concern [to  say the least] on Beth's. 

Moreover, she continually berated her husband (and co-parent) Calvin for actually expressing concern for their surviving suicidal son's welfare and stability- even when they'd been on said jaunt with her brother and sister-in-law in a distant state and there had been no direct contact with him [in those pre 'Net times] in  several days!  Poor Calvin had been so desperate to want to believe that Beth DID have some love for Conrad that he refused to believe in the possibility of Conrad's conclusion that Beth hated him- until Conrad eagerly hugged Beth and told her he missed her after their trip which Beth utterly recoiled as though he'd slapped her (with Calvin himself in shock over what he'd witnessed).

While it may be that Beth had adored Buck because she viewed him as the flawless version of Calvin [who she had chastised for 'drinking too much at parties' after he related to a neighbor that Conrad was seeing a therapist with ONE glass of wine at hand]  and disdained Conrad for being like her in personality, the crucial difference between Conrad and her was that, possibly after his suicide attempt, he no longer cared about what keeping appearances with neighbors and extended family while Beth SOLELY cared about that.  More importantly, despite initial resistance and denial on both the parts  of Conrad AND Calvin WERE willing to seek help  to  reach outside their comfort zones to try to improve things even though it meant they had to reach to some very sad and ugly conclusions about their family dynamic whereas Beth categorically refused to considered changing for the better- even if it meant ending her marriage and throwing away any chance of a bond with her surviving child!  Even when Calvin directly  asked her if she had ever loved him, all she managed to  muster was that she felt the way she'd 'always felt about him'. 

   Yes, the ending was a sad one for all concerned and it won't be easy or angst free but at least Conrad and Calvin were left with having a chance to make it on their own after all [irony somewhat intended].

Edited June 23 by Blergh

[Cobalt Stargazer]

6 hours ago, Blergh said:

However,  she didn't just take her grief over losing her fave son Buck out on the haunted Conrad, she was PUNISHING him for having been the one to survive even AFTER he'd attempted suicide!

She almost says it outright in the golf scene, when she and Calvin are arguing:

"He wants me to throw my arms around him every time he passes an exam? Well, I can't do it. I cannot respond when someone says, Here, I just did this great thing. Love me.' " Because, really, lady? You 'responded' well enough when the kid you actually cared about was talking about being wasted at some party, but you can't dredge up some genuine affection for the boy who's still alive?

All of this is reminding me of Stand By Me, because it happens there when Gordy's older brother Dennis is killed in a car accident, and his parents react almost the same way Beth does. Were they always that terrible, or did the tragedy just make them show their real selves?

[Spartan Girl]

9 hours ago, Blergh said:

More importantly, despite initial resistance and denial on both the parts  of Conrad AND Calvin WERE willing to seek help  to  reach outside their comfort zones to try to improve things even though it meant they had to reach to some very sad and ugly conclusions about their family dynamic whereas Beth categorically refused to considered changing for the better- even if it meant ending her marriage and throwing away any chance of a bond with her surviving child! 

Yeah, the fact that she just leaves after Calvin’s breakdown just cements her as a shit wife and mother. Because that moment could’ve been her wake-up call. She could’ve realized that she had been awful to the two of them and at least try to make things better. Or, at the very least, apologize. But no, she just gets up and starts packing. And I’m supposed to feel bad for her even though she’s basically abandoning her family just because she sheds a few tears? Nope.

And yeah “I feel the way I’ve always felt about you” was not answering Calvin’s question, nor was it a ringing declaration of love. So you know what? They were better off without her.

4 hours ago, Cobalt Stargazer said:

She almost says it outright in the golf scene, when she and Calvin are arguing:

"He wants me to throw my arms around him every time he passes an exam? Well, I can't do it. I cannot respond when someone says, Here, I just did this great thing. Love me.' " Because, really, lady? You 'responded' well enough when the kid you actually cared about was talking about being wasted at some party, but you can't dredge up some genuine affection for the boy who's still alive?

All of this is reminding me of Stand By Me, because it happens there when Gordy's older brother Dennis is killed in a car accident, and his parents react almost the same way Beth does. Were they always that terrible, or did the tragedy just make them show their real selves?

A bit of both, I suspect.

Edited June 23 by Spartan Girl

[Wiendish Fitch]

13 hours ago, Blergh said:

Agree with ALL the above (and even though Miss Moore DID manage somehow, somehow to have Beth depicted with some sympathy even to the very end).

Bolded mine, because if I've said it once, I've said it a million times: Mary Tyler Moore was ROBBED at Oscar time.

Sissy Spacek, I love you, but...

[Crashcourse]

Even though I had no sympathy whatsoever for Beth, I did think Mary Tyler Moore was robbed of an Oscar for her performance.

[Palimelon]

Quote

Sissy Spacek, I love you, but...

That was a good year for both women. Both of them were terrific in their respective movies.

Speaking of Spacek, the character of her mother in Carrie, Margaret White, as played by Piper Laurie, should probably be mentioned on the list of Worst Movie Parents...

[Spartan Girl]

2 hours ago, Palimelon said:

That was a good year for both women. Both of them were terrific in their respective movies.

Speaking of Spacek, the character of her mother in Carrie, Margaret White, as played by Piper Laurie, should probably be mentioned on the list of Worst Movie Parents...

She’s been mentioned, I assure you. That’s the spectrum of bad movie parents: either they’re abusive psychopaths or cold, neglectful narcissists.

[Blergh]

FWIW, director Robert Redford has said that he saw MTM in an unguarded moment looking rather devastated on the beach near their Malibu neighborhood and THAT was what prompted to cast her as Beth in the movie. Of course, she would admit in her autobio that she indeed had had a strained relationship with her own son Richard 'Ritchie' Meeker, Jr. for some years before her performance. Tragically, they were  working to improve their own bond when he died of an accidental self-inflicted gunshot shortly after she completed this role (and she was separated and on the way to divorcing her 2nd husband Grant Tinker at the time of her performance).

Rather chilling parallels re her own real life to this role!

 Yes, I agree that she SHOULD have won the Oscar for this role (and it would have been apt for her and Miss Spacek to have BOTH won Oscars as had Katharine Hepburn and Barbara Streisand had previously uniquely had happen for their portrayals of Eleanor of Aquitaine and Fanny Brice). The fictional Beth Jarrett and the then-living Loretta Lynn were  also apples and oranges in terms of what the roles required and should have both been rewarded instead of  Miss Spacek  alone winning the award that year!

All the above said, while I agree that Beth was a victim (as MTM believed), she DID deliberately hurt those who knew her the best and loved her the most- with the possible exception of her lost favorite child Buck!

Edited June 23 by Blergh

[Spartan Girl]

2 hours ago, Blergh said:

All the above said, while I agree that Beth was a victim (as MTM believed), she DID deliberately hurt those who knew her the best and loved her the most- with the possible exception of her lost favorite child Buck!

Well, one can argue that her coddling and blatant favoritism of Buck didn’t do him any favors either. If she hadn’t turned him into such a spoiled, entitled, reckless idiot, maybe the accident wouldn’t have had that. Maybe deep down, Beth knew it, but she couldn’t deal with it, so instead she blamed Conrad.