S07.E00: Reunion Part Two

[FlowerofCarnage]

Wrong thread. Please delete

Edited April 27, 2018 by FlowerofCarnage

[leighroda]

On 4/26/2018 at 7:35 AM, Calm81 said:

Amber and her fanning of her hands for tissues to cry was gag worthy. Fuck her. I’m sooooo sick of the “they want me to feel bad about being depressed!!!” You’re a MOM, moms don’t get to checkout from parental responsibility for YEARS due to depression then humiliate the people that are raising her precious

Ugh... nobody wants you to feel bad about being depressed Amber...in fact if that (depression) was truly the issue I think overwhelmingly the general public would support her, even making a few poor decisions, we’ve all  been there.  

What people fault her for is a long list

1) Neglecting Leah- I hate how disposable Leah is to her, she uses her like a prop for photo ops, but when it comes to *actual* parenting it’s crickets. Some of this can be attributed to depression, and I get that it’s hard, but she doesn’t even make a little effort... and this will be my next point but she does put effort in men, but not Leah. She can’t even do the most basic things, like getting up to get Leah to school... it is huge that she can’t have Leah on weeknights because she will not be dependable about getting Leah to school.

2) Matt/NuMatt before Leah- while sitting at home claiming she’s too depressed for leah to come over time and time again she still has her man there. Relationships are hard, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be in one when you are depressed, but I do believe you shouldn’t be seeking out a new one when you are deeply depressed as she claims. Sure, it can be a source of support which is important, but you never know and the whole you need to love yourself adage. 

3) narcissism- I want to be careful with this because it is a mental illness and I don’t want to shame anyone who might have it (I get it I have borderline and I absolutely hate it on here when people go on and on about how horrible people with borderline are)... BUT again she makes no effort to even acknowledge how selfish she is, she doesn’t even see it that she is. She wants Leah to cater to her and her feelings and that is not fair to a 9 yr old. 

4) Gary- admittedly in the beginning I was not a fan of Gary, I think he instigated things a lot of the time, but he has grown into such a great father and person, he shows more patience and empathy than any person should have to as far as Amber is concerned with absolutely no give on her side. She acts entitled to him being nice to her, catering to her.

There’s millions of examples of why people dislike her unrelated to depression, and we don’t want her to feel bad for being depressed, we want her to try to be better. 

[TheRealT]

13 minutes ago, leighroda said:

3) narcissism- I want to be careful with this because it is a mental illness and I don’t want to shame anyone who might have it (I get it I have borderline and I absolutely hate it on here when people go on and on about how horrible people with borderline are)... BUT again she makes no effort to even acknowledge how selfish she is, she doesn’t even see it that she is. She wants Leah to cater to her and her feelings and that is not fair to a 9 yr old. 

I agree with your entire post, but, to me, this is the heart of why Amber is such a horrible person. I think she's truly incapable of empathy for anyone, even her own child, even when she was a baby. I see absolutely no reason to believe that she'll be any different with Baby James. She doesn't even acknowledge that maybe she "made some mistakes" mothering Baby Leah or that she intends to work to do better this time. Her story is that she's an awesome mom who's "had some problems" and maybe "made some mistakes," but that's never negatively affected Leah. She truly believes that narrative because a) she doesn't really care or give much thought to how Leah feels or how her actions affect Leah and b) she encourages (basically insists) that Leah not hold her accountable for being a shitty mom and, instead, focus on how much Leah loves her and enjoys being with her. The Leah-Amber relationship is All About Amber whenever Amber deigns to find some time to have any relationship at all. I'm sure she tells herself that Leah never said Amber made her feel bad or complained about Amber blowing her off, so it must all be lies Gary and Kristina are making up just to hurt Amber's feelings.

[ghoulina]

44 minutes ago, leighroda said:

There’s millions of examples of why people dislike her unrelated to depression, and we don’t want her to feel bad for being depressed, we want her to try to be better. 

*snipped for space*

 

Word. I don't care that she's depressed. One of my younger sisters suffers from severe depression. After her first child she even developed psychosis and was hearing voices. She has never left her kids or refused to take care of them. She's gone to therapy, got new meds, adjusted meds, asked for help when needed. But she's also worked, cleaned her house, played her kids - DAILY. 

No one cares about depression, we care about Amber using it as an excuse to do absolutely nothing in life. It's pathetic and actually makes the public's perception of mental illness WORSE. 

[Kazu]

2 hours ago, leighroda said:

Ugh... nobody wants you to feel bad about being depressed Amber...in fact if that (depression) was truly the issue I think overwhelmingly the general public would support her, even making a few poor decisions, we’ve all  been there.  

What people fault her for is a long list

[snipped]

There’s millions of examples of why people dislike her unrelated to depression, and we don’t want her to feel bad for being depressed, we want her to try to be better. 

Pretty much sums it up. Thank you!

Another reason she is hated so much is her stance about DV. She has claimed abuse at the hands of Matt.  All the while she was defending her supposed abuser by taking to social media and shutting down the "haters" who felt she was in an abusive relationship. Her other outrageous comments pertaining to DV occurred when Simon Saran took to his social media page and implored victims to not remain silent about domestic violence in response to allegations Amber made about being a DV victim AND an aggressor in her relationship:  “I’ve been through domestic violence, I was the one on the other end with the domestic violence — it went both ways. However, I never opened up my mother f--king mouth about anybody ever f--king hitting me — because that’s what a real woman does.”

Amber is no spokesperson by any means on the subject of DV. She has no fucking clue about the subject because 1) she is a full-blown idiot and 2) she IS AN ABUSER.  She is no woman and she is certainly no mother just because she has been able to give birth. Even cows give birth and they are better mothers to their offspring.

Edited April 27, 2018 by Kazu

[TheRealT]

No one (on the show) has ever criticized Amber for being depressed. She's actually been coddled/enabled/supported for her depressed behavior most of the time. Gary did all the work taking care of Leah/working a job/cleaning their apartment/etc. when Leah was young while Amber lay in bed bitching all the time and went upside his head whenever she mustered the energy to get vertical. I believe he even paid for her apartment/let her live with him after they broke up because he wanted to help her out (and understood that, of course, she couldn't work because she was so "depressed"). When she went to jell and since she got out, Gary continued to be understanding and supportive. Bubby has tried to give her some good advice at times, but he's always been there for her at the end of the day no matter what horrible choices she made. Obviously, the paid soulmates are understanding and supportive because that's their job. Even Leah has (so far) responded to Amber's depression and its resultant parental neglect by expressing her confusion and hurt to Kristina and Gary while behaving like a caretaker with Amber. The producers and Drew give credence to the narrative that Amber is a good mom doing the best she can who has problems (beyond her control! not her fault!) that maybe prevent her from being the "perfect" mom. But what mom is perfect?!?! How can people be so mean and judgmental?!?!

So the whole, "OMG, why are people judging me for being depressed?!?! It's not my fault!!! Waaaaah!" thing is just bullshit. Amber takes literally no responsibility for her life choices, behavior, or mental health treatment. None. She is so slovenly and lacking in any desire to be a functioning human being that she vomited into a plastic bag brought to her by her paid caretaker/companion when there was no medical reason that she couldn't go to the bathroom to vomit. So when she says she wants people to "support" her, that's what she's talking about. She wants someone to bring her a bag to vomit into, then dispose of the vomit, and (I guess) bring her some water and a receptacle so she can rinse her mouth out, wipe up any stray vomit that might have gotten on the sheets, go and make her whatever food or beverage she can keep down, etc., etc. I wonder whether she uses a bedpan cleaned up by nuMatt as well. Logically, someone who couldn't go to the bathroom to vomit couldn't get there to use the toilet for other purposes, so I'd assume so. She supposedly couldn't stand up for 15 or 20 minutes to shop for her baby/have "quality time" with Leah/film a scene for her job (that's multitasking!). There isn't enough support in the world for someone who's "depressed" to that degree, but isn't interested in any kind of professional mental health treatment.