Small Talk: Come Clean

[Meredith Quill]

The Small Talk topic is for:

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Happy trails beyond Small Talk!

[Starlight925]

As for how stupid Debra is, believe me, I get it.

It's unbelievable to me how these smart women can get so conned, all for some sweet words or affection.

A little over a year ago, I ended a relationship with my own DJ after realizing he, too, was after my money.  I don't have nearly the amount that Debra has, but I live a comfortable life.  My DJ was stupid enough to not hide texts, dating profiles, etc. from me, which pissed me off, and that's why I left.  Had he hidden all these things from me better, I'd have bought us a new home.  Yep, I'm just that stupid that I came this close to doing so.

On this episode, when John admitted that the neurosurgeon would be a financial upgrade from Tonia, it made my blood boil.  My exDJ went straight from me to a VP of a huge hospital chain here in my city, and she financed every single thing they did, for almost a year.  She literally paid for every hamburger, every trip, and everything in between.  She paid for the first date!  He's actually proud of this, and loves to talk about how much money she spent on him.  It doesn't make him feel less of a gentleman for her to pay, as he feels "entitled".  They just broke up; he says it was because he had "no passion" for her.  Um yeah.  He probably found a bigger bank account somewhere else.

[spankydoll]

I was married to a DJ when I was in my early twenties. Luckily I had a very bad ass stepdad whose first wife was a violent lunatic and took my husband to the mental hospital and had him admitted for enough time for me to get the locks changed. My husband's family was so relieved to have him.locked up that they convinced him to stay in the hospital for several months. He skated in so many crimes including embezzlement, drunk driving, drug dealing, bookmaking, trying to strangle yours truly and was a lying, thieving, cheating monster but there is no paper trail in most of it. 

There are lots of these guys out there 

[chenoa333]

19 hours ago, spankydoll said:

There are lots of these guys out there 

Indeed there are. And they've been in existence for decades. But now, with social media, technology and LOTS of failed relationships, people who are divorced, dumped, lonely, heartbroken are vulnerable to Dirty Johns and Dirty Janes. 

IMO the red flags are always there but most people dismiss them because they want to believe this is "the one". 

[walnutqueen]

3 hours ago, chenoa333 said:

But now, with social media, technology and LOTS of failed relationships, people who are divorced, dumped, lonely, heartbroken are vulnerable to Dirty Johns and Dirty Janes

Or, not at all vulnerable, like me.  Been there, done it all, done with it all.  The only male who has a chance of pulling one over on me probably was born with 4 legs and fur.  Several of them are currently eating me out of hearth and home, and have managed to bankrupt me with their vet bills and medications.  Damned critters can smell a mark quicker than any Dirty John.  ;-)

Edited December 16, 2018 by walnutqueen
out, not our

[chenoa333]

1 hour ago, walnutqueen said:

Or, not at all vulnerable, like me.  Been there, done it all, done with it all.  The only male who has a chance of pulling one over on me probably was born with 4 legs and fur.  Several of them are currently eating me our of hearth and home, and have managed to bankrupt me with their vet bills and medications.  Damned critters can smell a mark quicker than any Dirty John.  ;-)

The four legged ones give back with so much love, appreciation and warmth. It's everything most humans don't give. 

[walnutqueen]

31 minutes ago, chenoa333 said:

The four legged ones give back with so much love, appreciation and warmth. It's everything most humans don't give. 

Exactamundo.  Which is why my 'love tank' is always full, unlike that cancer scamming Vicky G of the O.C. who will be forever empty  (bitch doesn't even have a goldfish!).

[chenoa333]

19 minutes ago, walnutqueen said:

  (bitch doesn't even have a goldfish!).

Goldfish everywhere are giddy with excitement! Lol.

[walnutqueen]

Just now, chenoa333 said:

Goldfish everywhere are giddy with excitement! Lol.

They'd be flipping out of their own damned bowl committing harakiri just to get away from her. 

I know I would, if I were an unfortunate goldfish.

[Door County Cherry]

3 hours ago, chenoa333 said:

The four legged ones give back with so much love, appreciation and warmth. It's everything most humans don't give. 

I don't know...there are some cats out there, man...

[Starlight925]

I met a guy about 10 years ago online who was literally the tallest, handsomest man I'd ever seen in person.  He was absolutely stunning.  I had just turned 50, and he was in my age range, and he was so breathtakingly handsome, heads would turn.

He was crazy about me, from date one.  I couldn't understand how this amazing, successful business owner wanted me, but he wanted to be with me every day and called me when he couldn't.

I was with him for 2-3 months until the unraveling started.  

First, found out that he's been in the U.S. illegally, for decades.  Never got a social security number.  Does all his business in cash.  Legal business, but only accepts cash, so he can't be tracked.  Turned out, he's broke, lived in a place he was too embarrassed to let me see, which I later found out was a really crummy "garage" (not even) apartment.

Then turned out, he's a conspiracy theorist, who actually believes that George W. Bush directed the planes to fly into the Trade Center.  Tried to show me all sorts of "data" to back this up.

Pièce de resistance......found out he had herpes.  Stupidly, I hadn't asked about STD's, and I never got it, but.....lesson learned.

After each of these things, I kept excusing it.   He's so sweet to me....blah blah blah.  Ugh.

He found me on Facebook a few years ago and messaged me.  I didn't respond.

So, I get how the Debra's of the world allow the John's into their lives.

Edited December 18, 2018 by Sterling

[teapot]

27 minutes ago, Sterling said:

 

He found me on Facebook a few years ago and messaged me.  I didn't respond.

 

that deserves a congrats.  So glad your life didn't end up ruined.

[Door County Cherry]

If you'd like to speculate about the real people in this show, that belongs in the fact vs. fiction thread and that's where I've moved some posts if you're looking for them. Small Tall is the off topic thread.

[ElectricBoogaloo]

19 hours ago, Sterling said:

He found me on Facebook a few years ago and messaged me.  I didn't respond.

Always appropriate:

[Starlight925]

3 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Always appropriate:

O. M. G. !!!!!!!!

I've never seen that, but it's amazing!!!!

[Moose135]

Girlfriend and I have been watching DJ together - we haven't read the whole story, just what is appearing on Bravo each week.  We've been together going on 15 months now.  Last night, as we were watching this past Sunday's episode, she said to me "I'm glad we got together before I saw this, because I don't think I'd date another guy ever after seeing this!"

[DrSparkles]

On 12/19/2018 at 7:13 AM, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Always appropriate:

This may be the best thing I've ever seen.

[walnutqueen]

I assumed almost everyone had their own version of a Dirty John experience.  I was wrong.

A very long time ago, in a Lifetime I barely recognize as my own,  a shrink told me she'd be bringing me flowers - either to my hospital room (with my jaw wired shut) or to my grave.  She then proceeded to conspire with me on an elaborate exit strategy, which cost me my financial future, but saved my life.

It was long ago, in a galaxy far, far away.  But I still have a purse Ulu, car console hatchet, recliner machete, front door baseball bat, backdoor ball peen hammer and other weapons of (mass) destruction strewn about the house.

Just in case.

[Moose135]

Important safety tip - don't screw with @walnutqueen! ;-)

[DrSparkles]

On 1/14/2019 at 6:34 AM, walnutqueen said:

I assumed almost everyone had their own version of a Dirty John experience.  I was wrong.

A very long time ago, in a Lifetime I barely recognize as my own,  a shrink told me she'd be bringing me flowers - either to my hospital room (with my jaw wired shut) or to my grave.  She then proceeded to conspire with me on an elaborate exit strategy, which cost me my financial future, but saved my life.

It was long ago, in a galaxy far, far away.  But I still have a purse Ulu, car console hatchet, recliner machete, front door baseball bat, backdoor ball peen hammer and other weapons of (mass) destruction strewn about the house.

Just in case.

Holy shit @walnutqueen. So glad you got away. ETA: is your DJ still walking the earth?

Edited January 20, 2019 by DrSparkles

[Tabbygirl521]

On 12/11/2018 at 1:01 PM, Sterling said:

As for how stupid Debra is, believe me, I get it.

It's unbelievable to me how these smart women can get so conned, all for some sweet words or affection.

A little over a year ago, I ended a relationship with my own DJ after realizing he, too, was after my money.  I don't have nearly the amount that Debra has, but I live a comfortable life.  My DJ was stupid enough to not hide texts, dating profiles, etc. from me, which pissed me off, and that's why I left.  Had he hidden all these things from me better, I'd have bought us a new home.  Yep, I'm just that stupid that I came this close to doing so.

On this episode, when John admitted that the neurosurgeon would be a financial upgrade from Tonia, it made my blood boil.  My exDJ went straight from me to a VP of a huge hospital chain here in my city, and she financed every single thing they did, for almost a year.  She literally paid for every hamburger, every trip, and everything in between.  She paid for the first date!  He's actually proud of this, and loves to talk about how much money she spent on him.  It doesn't make him feel less of a gentleman for her to pay, as he feels "entitled".  They just broke up; he says it was because he had "no passion" for her.  Um yeah.  He probably found a bigger bank account somewhere else.

Are you still in touch? It’s gross that he brags to you! Ugh, you had a lucky escape!