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You Know You're Obsessed With Criminal Minds When...


mstaken
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Shirtless man-pain. Love it.

"Shirtless Man-Pain"-Spencer, Hold My Earrings latest hit. With Derek Morgan singing lead a la that Michael Jackson classic, "She's Out of My Life."

 

"Baby Girl, hand me a tissue."

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(edited)

LOL, Morgan's face.

 

Also, I can't even lie, I would totally go to a bar/restaurant called "Hotch" is if was local.

This bar/restaurant is conveniently located in my neighborhood and is easily within walking distance. Jealous?

 

And speaking of Morgan and his shirtless man tears, my alma mater is adjacent to a street called Morgan Avenue.

 

Anyway, onto "you know you're obsessed...."

 

When you notice that a lot of the characters wear various shades of purple/plum (especially Spencer), and you get a case of the sads because purple/plum just doesn't suit your coloring.

 

You're watching reruns on ION and the episodes feature Garcia with read hair, and you think, "You bitch! I'm the only redhead on this show." And you have to remind yourself, "Um, you're not on the show."

 

You're making a necklace for your friend's  niece, the beads being various shades of pink, purple and blue, and you just know Garcia would totally wear something like it.

Edited by Bookish Jen
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When someone accuses you of being the other n-word, a narcissist, during an on-line discussion regarding serious mental health issues and you decide to respond with this comment:

"I've been called many things in my lifetime, but I can truly say this is the first time I have been called a narcissist. Not exactly Dr. Spencer Reid are we Jonathan?"
 

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(edited)

You would love to see Hotch and Company go up against Gibbs (NCIS) and completely knock the smugness out of him.

 

Wanted to add to this: I was watching Scream and I really, really, really wished we could have had the BAU's take on that case. 

Edited by anna0852
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You're at a special event at your church and during a fun conversation with a fellow member you think to yourself, "Oh my, goodness! Julie could totally play Emily Prentiss's sister! They look so much alike."

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(edited)

You're already upset because Despicable Fucknugget announced his 2016 GOP Presidential campaign, turn on the ION network to cleanse the palate by watching some CM, find out "200" is currently playing, and react thusly:

 

a746f6919ac3d00c67d499e9fa954e9b176ea1c3

Edited by Bookish Jen
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when you actually consider buying these

 

 

even though you haven't worn footie pajamas in a billion years.

That is ridiculously expensive for pajamas!!! You could make them yourself for a fraction of the price :P

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When you literally dream up a new Criminal Minds episodes every night. Seriously, is this healthy? Last night I dreamed a two-parter! They're not particularly nice dreams either but they're not exactly nightmares since I'm watching the show in my dream. 

I once dreamt I was on an elevator with Spencer and ever the gentlemen, he let me off the elevator first while holding open the door. Good times.

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Expanding on what you said qwerty, and I'm sure it isn't very original, but when you never can hear The Riddle without thinking of Hotch himself going in and washing Elle's blood off her wall. 

 

 

I'm not obsessed yet, but I'm getting there. And can Hotchner be intruding on my instant Matthew boycrush? :P

This is my absolute favorite CM moment. I love The Riddle. Have it on my ipod and listen to it frequently. I was really surprised to hear it in the grocery store recently. I just stood there in the produce section and sang along. 

 

Also, I started out with Reid as my favorite character and then one day like a bolt from the blue fell totally in love with Hotch. I still adore Reid, but Hotch has my heart.

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This is my absolute favorite CM moment. I love The Riddle. Have it on my ipod and listen to it frequently. I was really surprised to hear it in the grocery store recently. I just stood there in the produce section and sang along. 

 

Also, I started out with Reid as my favorite character and then one day like a bolt from the blue fell totally in love with Hotch. I still adore Reid, but Hotch has my heart.

If Hotch having my heart is wrong, I don't want to be right.

 

After Spencer Reid, Hotch is my favorite character. And I'm sure I'm not the only one here who has fantasized about being in the middle of a Reid and Hotch sandwich. I'll never forget the first time I had this thought. I was a CM virgin-so young, so fresh, so clean, so unwise to the ways of the world. I was innocently watching L.D.S.K. In one scene, Hotch fake kicked and bullied Spencer. Spencer grabbed Hotch's ankle gun and shot the unsub between the eyes. For a moment, my unblemished brain took up a brief residence in a town called Naughty Thoughts.

 

All of PTV Headquarters CM Unit: "Girl, please! You have a permanent residence in Naughty Thoughts. You even bought a house there!"

 

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If Hotch having my heart is wrong, I don't want to be right.

 

After Spencer Reid, Hotch is my favorite character. And I'm sure I'm not the only one here who has fantasized about being in the middle of a Reid and Hotch sandwich. I'll never forget the first time I had this thought. I was a CM virgin-so young, so fresh, so clean, so unwise to the ways of the world. I was innocently watching L.D.S.K. In one scene, Hotch fake kicked and bullied Spencer. Spencer grabbed Hotch's ankle gun and shot the unsub between the eyes. For a moment, my unblemished brain took up a brief residence in a town called Naughty Thoughts.

 

All of PTV Headquarters CM Unit: "Girl, please! You have a permanent residence in Naughty Thoughts. You even bought a house there!"

 

 

And you're renting out rooms!

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If Hotch having my heart is wrong, I don't want to be right.

 

After Spencer Reid, Hotch is my favorite character. And I'm sure I'm not the only one here who has fantasized about being in the middle of a Reid and Hotch sandwich. I'll never forget the first time I had this thought. I was a CM virgin-so young, so fresh, so clean, so unwise to the ways of the world. I was innocently watching L.D.S.K. In one scene, Hotch fake kicked and bullied Spencer. Spencer grabbed Hotch's ankle gun and shot the unsub between the eyes. For a moment, my unblemished brain took up a brief residence in a town called Naughty Thoughts.

 

All of PTV Headquarters CM Unit: "Girl, please! You have a permanent residence in Naughty Thoughts. You even bought a house there!"

 

LDSK is one of my favorites. First of all because it's full of Hotch and Reid (without slighting the rest of the cast, thank you!) and secondly because it's supposed to be in my hometown, Des Plaines, IL. Of course, there's not a thing in the episode that resembles the actual town,but it was nice it got a mention. I'm just a little disappointed that they never mentioned Gacy in that episode, as it was the Des Plaines PD that caught him. 

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Was out for a morning walk.  Someone was stopped in a driveway and waved me over as I approached.  He said, "I don't live here, I just pulled in because an 'effing bear' just ran across the road in front of me!" -----heading in the direction of my house, to which I still had to walk home. (Had one in the yard a few years ago)  

 

I briefly thought to ask him to drive me home, but then I thought, 'This might be how he lures all his victims!'  So i kept my eyes open and my hands on my phone, and made it home in record time.

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Was out for a morning walk.  Someone was stopped in a driveway and waved me over as I approached.  He said, "I don't live here, I just pulled in because an 'effing bear' just ran across the road in front of me!" -----heading in the direction of my house, to which I still had to walk home. (Had one in the yard a few years ago)  

 

I briefly thought to ask him to drive me home, but then I thought, 'This might be how he lures all his victims!'  So i kept my eyes open and my hands on my phone, and made it home in record time.

I don't blame you for being wary. After being attacked, my paranoia is at huge levels.

 

You know you're obsessed when you watch last night's rerun of Beyond Boredom.

 

Oh, wait. That's masochist.

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Was it as awful the second time? I just couldn't bring myself to watch it........zzzzzzz

Good god, it was even worse. I ended up calling it "Criminal Minds: Beyond Boredom-When the Sues and Stus Meet the Pippy-Poos"

 

It just killed me how this new unit was supposed the best thing in BAU/Profiling, while our regular beloved band of BAU-teers was demoted to being their cheerleaders, especially Garcia. Ugh. Of course, this hot, damn mess of pan-fried ass was written by Erica. And could she make it even more of a breeder love fest? I guess the barren loins of Reid, Morgan and Garcia mean nothing in Erica's world of "Mommy and Daddy Know Best."

 

But I'm not bitter...

 

However, there were some highlights.

 

The "Barbados" scenery was pretty.

And so was Cruz

And I really likde how Hotch filled out those tight black Barbados pants. Delicious.

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When you finally get around to watching the Star Wars sequels and wonder how the team would have profiled Anakin and also think the team would have sussed out the bad guys faster than the Jedi Council did.

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when you decide to watch an absolutely wretched-looking movie called Drive Thru on the Chiller network tomorrow night because you accidentally glanced up while a commercial for it was on and spotted Lola Glaudini.

 

I need help, ya'll. :-P

No you don't. You are splendid, as is La Lola!

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I read this tragic article about 3 children who were abused but ended up with good foster parents but then were sent to be adopted by a politician-- who only adopted the younger two. The younger two were emotionally abused and then abandoned-- he sent them to live with a child molestor who raped one of the girls. Poor kids.

 

It made me think about how a case like this could turn up on CM..

Here's the sad article-http://www.arktimes.com/arkansas/casting-out-demons-why-justin-harris-got-rid-of-kids-he-applied-pressure-to-adopt/Content?oid=3725371

 

Oh, and the piece of shit who abandonded the kids was recently given an award for his contributions for family values.

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What kind of pastries? Now I'm hungry. yes, I'm fat...

 

Now I'm wondering how many times the team members have been shown eating or drinking. I remember Reid has rice crispies treats, cookies, and lollipops-- but he rejected salad.

My question, how on earth does Reid stay so thin, when he likes the sweets, dislikes the healthy foods? I have a hard time with that and I crave salads. And am known to warm up some string beans as a snack, or a dessert (of course, I like the sweet things a lot too! :D )

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My question, how on earth does Reid stay so thin, when he likes the sweets, dislikes the healthy foods? I have a hard time with that and I crave salads. And am known to warm up some string beans as a snack, or a dessert (of course, I like the sweet things a lot too! :D )

Its all about metabolism sometimes. I have a friend who refuses to eat fruit and veggies. He'll eat chicken nuggets, tacos, pizza, and all manner of unhealthy stuff but is muscular and thin.

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I think too that bc he's so tall, that he can weigh more (not that he does) and still be a slender piece of gorgeousness. Say he weighs 160. It takes more calories to support a weight of 160 than it does to support a weight of 125.

I have to be careful about an extra slice of pizza. :-( Of course, being a woman, and being more advanced in age plays a part. Men need more calories to maintain their weight than women do, and they lose weight much easier. More muscle mass.

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Its all about metabolism sometimes. I have a friend who refuses to eat fruit and veggies. He'll eat chicken nuggets, tacos, pizza, and all manner of unhealthy stuff but is muscular and thin.

ah, true. :) still I wish though, I could have some of that metabolism! *grin*

I think too that bc he's so tall, that he can weigh more (not that he does) and still be a slender piece of gorgeousness. Say he weighs 160. It takes more calories to support a weight of 160 than it does to support a weight of 125.

I have to be careful about an extra slice of pizza. :-( Of course, being a woman, and being more advanced in age plays a part. Men need more calories to maintain their weight than women do, and they lose weight much easier. More muscle mass.

I think too that bc he's so tall, that he can weigh more (not that he does) and still be a slender piece of gorgeousness. Say he weighs 160. It takes more calories to support a weight of 160 than it does to support a weight of 125.

I have to be careful about an extra slice of pizza. :-( Of course, being a woman, and being more advanced in age plays a part. Men need more calories to maintain their weight than women do, and they lose weight much easier. More muscle mass.

also very true! I wonder what his real height is? I know the reported one is supposedly wrong now.
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My understanding is that he's close to -- just under -- 6'3". The 6'1" that we often see quoted is from his modeling days, when his stats were a part of his portfolio, or whatever. However he has said he grew an inch and a half or so early in CM. So that puts him around 6'2.5". I know people who've met him IRL exclaim about how very tall he is, and he does appear so tall next to people. He often slouches, so at times he looks shorter than he is. But when you look at him next to landmarks and other people in pics, when he's standing up straight, he's a pretty long drink of water. There's a cast pic from the beginning of S4 or S5, I think, and he literally towers over everyone else.

Edited by Droogie
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My understanding is that he's close to -- just under -- 6'3". The 6'1" that we often see quoted is from his modeling days, when his stats were a part of his portfolio, or whatever. However he has said he grew an inch and a half or so early in CM. So that puts him around 6'2.5". I know people who've met him IRL exclaim about how very tall he is, and he does appear so tall next to people. He often slouches, so at times he looks shorter than he is. But when you look at him next to landmarks and other people in pics, when he's standing up straight, he's a pretty long drink of water. There's a cast pic from the beginning of S4 or S5, I think, and he literally towers over everyone else.

Oh wow!!!

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I think his achalasia may still play a bit of a role as well. Surgery helps tremendously, but many people continue to suffer some symptoms, and often a revision is necessary down the road. Eating smaller amounts, more frequently, helps. But if you don't have the opportunity for those frequent meals, then you end up taking in fewer calories.

I also don't know that I would put too much credence in what he claims to eat. It seems like the kind of topic he likes to spin a tale about.

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I think his achalasia may still play a bit of a role as well. Surgery helps tremendously, but many people continue to suffer some symptoms, and often a revision is necessary down the road. Eating smaller amounts, more frequently, helps. But if you don't have the opportunity for those frequent meals, then you end up taking in fewer calories.

I also don't know that I would put too much credence in what he claims to eat. It seems like the kind of topic he likes to spin a tale about.

Oh that's true too!

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I just hope it doesn't catch up with Matthew when he's older, in an unhealthy way. He had weight problems when he was very young, and possibly could again after say 40 or so. Because he doesn't really develop lean muscle and he seems now to have a little weight around the middle, he could have the middle aged paunch eventually. he'd stil be handsome, but I don't like the thought of him being unhealthy and weak in middle age, when metabolism slows down for almost everyone.

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Somehow I still find that idea really attractive. I need help.

Y'know those infamous photos that were "leaked" and had to be removed? Of course you do; I saved them, personally. Did anyone actually not? Anyway, there was a certain softness apparent. Is it a problem if I say I kinda wanted to bite it? Not sure my husband would appreciate this. I'm not even sure where it's coming from!

He looks like a lanky guy that hasn't had to concern himself with weight in early/middle adulthood. I think he's plenty active but doesn't do a lot of focused toning/exercise. He could start looking that Jabba the hut and I still might find him attractive.

I'm sure we've all seen pics of his dad from time to time. Unless he steps up to Shemar's workout regiment, I think that's his physical future. What I find appealing is that he doesn't seem too worried about it. Not exactly body conscious, very self-assured.

Edited by Droogie
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Oh, qwerty! Did you miss it? There was an article in an online mag I think is called "The Coveteur." It was a very lovely spread that showed his home and had some shot for him in a tux in the bathtub, as well as in a fur coat in his yard or something, with a rifle in his hand. Under that fur, he was basically wearing only underwear (ridiculously cute boxers with planets on them), and he had on flip flops. The pics that made it to the site were quite innocuous, but there were a couple that weren't supposed to appear in the final layout that were somehow leaked online. You could tell more about what he was(n't) wearing underneath the fur coat and his (lovely) torso and legs were clearly visible.

Folks who posted then received messages requesting they be deleted, saying the magazine was going to fire the person who "leaked" them. I've no idea whether that's true; however, they made their rounds and were quite love to look at.

Edited by Droogie
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Yes. They were posted here and what happened was, when they uploaded the article, they uploaded all of their pictures to the public site. They had Matthew's name in the title of the images and they were numbered. When people were looking at the images included in the article, they noticed that some of the numbers were skipped so they plugged in missing numbers to see if the images existed-- and they did. They also turned up in google image searches. So people just figured they were easter egg type images and started posting them on Tumblr.

 

I posted some and I can confirm that the magazine did contact people and ask them to remove them. I was asked how I got the "leaked" images and I told them they were on their website and could be found via google image search, so they weren't exactly "leaked". They were under the mistaken impression that someone had somehow hacked something, stolen the images, and posted them on a secondary site. I had to explain to the ninnies that they were on their own site. People on instagram reported that they received a message saying the new employee for the magazine had accidentally posted them and asked for them to be taken down so the person didn't get fired.

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