S04.E08: To Have and To Hold

[gonecrackers]

59 minutes ago, Snarklepuss said:

As a person who has studied personality theory and takes being an introvert somewhat seriously, I feel that Nick gives introverts a bad name.  Being an introvert is not an excuse for being deliberately uncommunicative, cold and misleading.  Everyone has to extrovert every day of their lives in order to function in the world, and healthy introverts are able to do so when the time calls for it.  Healthy introverts have good communication skills and are able to use them in all situations that call for them even when it involves going outside their comfort zone.  Nick is FOS.  He is using his introversion to explain away his dysfunction.  It's like when people profile disturbed school killers and say "He was a loner, and introvert".  That gives introverts a bad name too because that goes way beyond normal introversion to explain, it's antisocial, dysfunctional behavior.

As an introvert to the highest degree I can't agree more. There are other ways of communicating, such as in writing. Weren't they journaling or something? He could have even shared some of the more difficult feelings in writing.

Regardless, though, a show like this could be a nightmare for an introvert. We need time alone to re-charge. If I was in that kind of stressful situation for very long hours, needing to communicate difficult feelings with a stranger, with a camera crew in my face, a pushy production person nagging at me (I think they do a lot of that), & presumably needing to keep up with work as well, I would probably have a meltdown as well - but I don't know that I would hurt someone - I might just sit there & cry LOL.

However, key point - I would never do a show like this, for so many reasons, but I'm self aware enough to realize I couldn't handle it. He didn't know that for whatever reason, or he's not a 'shy' (I don't think so) introvert, he's just got issues. Or, he's a total fake, in which case it's all coming back to bite him, & he'll just have to deal with it.

Edited September 20, 2016 by gonecrackers

[ethalfrida]

Nick seems pretty aggressive to me. He's hurtful and he doesn't want to bevwith Sonia. Even when or if he finds a woman he wants to be with he will still be hurtful and rude. I don't know if he is gay but if he is then he has made a liar out of everyone especially the experts. The things he says indicate he has little experience with real relationships or with sex, even. 

[Snarklepuss]

2 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

However, key point - I would never do a show like this, for so many reasons, but I'm self aware enough to realize I couldn't handle it. He didn't know that for whatever reason, or he's not a 'shy' (I don't think so) introvert, he's just got issues. Or, he's a total fake, in which case it's all coming back to bite him, & he'll just have to deal with it.

I know, me too.  I think some of these people take a gamble that they might meet someone they fall head over heels for and figure they can tough out the hard to handle aspects as a trade-off.  I don't think they like to factor in not liking the person.  In Nick's case, as in the case of other people whose motives for going on the show have been suspect, I wonder if he had watched the show before and gotten the impression from the editing that he could probably suffer through the relationship with minimal effort and lies until the very end when he could (he thinks) back out "gracefully".  As we all know, it's a LOT different to actually BE in the situation.  Plus I have every reason to believe that Sonia was "for real", which may have thrown him for a loop and put more pressure on him as well.

[Gem 10]

And I'm beginning to think that this show is now all fixed, and they are throwing in all kinds of different things like the Heather & Derek breakup and the "Tantra" weird episode.  I don't believe a person would go on this type of show and make an ass out of themselves.  Example:   Heather serving a drink on a plane and someone saying "aren't you that girl that dumped that guy on t.v."?   Pfttt !

[Booboomonkey]

I retract all the benefit of the doubt i gave nick. Hes a total a-hole... Wow..

[Verojama]

Guys, on the preview sonia says they had sex WTF when? Whats going on?

[1992austenlover]

7 minutes ago, Verojama said:

Guys, on the preview sonia says they had sex WTF when? Whats going on?

I'm assuming that Sonia and Nick had sex at one point and made a secret pact to not mention it to the cameras for some reason. Now that things are going south, the claws are coming out along with the truth. I definitely don't see them coming back from this. Shame. 

[Verojama]

Thats crazy.. Do u think derek and heather will come back from this.. I felt so bad for derek's mom... I dont understand why people are saying derek's a pothead i mean it was never mentionned in the show or shown.. Only social cigarette smoker.. Needless to say heather does look like she drinks a little too much... 

[Evil Queen]

1 hour ago, Verojama said:

Thats crazy.. Do u think derek and heather will come back from this.. I felt so bad for derek's mom... I dont understand why people are saying derek's a pothead i mean it was never mentionned in the show or shown.. Only social cigarette smoker.. Needless to say heather does look like she drinks a little too much... 

Saying it because he was totally stoned in many scenes and THs. BTW, there was not one mention of it being cigarettes at all. They skirted around what it was for a reason...that being it is illegal in Florida. And I don't think Heather looks like she drinks to much. I have seen people that drank to much and that is not her.   

[okerry]

Snarkle, I heart you for saying this. Genuine love and romance always feels magical, and sometimes that's what keeps it going when times get tough. You can search out, and appreciate, the magical while still living in reality. A man may not be seen as a prince by all, but if he's your prince that's all you need. :)

*****To keep this somewhat on topic: That's the trouble with MAFS - there's no way to test for that magic, that chemistry, that bonded couples will have. They seemed to have gotten lucky with Jason and Cortney, but nothing since then.

Well, that and a desperate shortage of men willing to sign up lol.

p.s. Y'all reality TV fans need to watch a Lifetime scripted show called UnReal. It's all about the behind-the-scenes producers on a Bachelor-type reality show and just how much they really do pressure and manipulate the contestants. Funny, shocking, and supremely entertaining. The first season was far better than the second and definitely worth looking for.

Edited September 22, 2016 by Drogo
EDITED BY MOD: Quote formatting.

[Gem 10]

On September 15, 2016 at 1:11 PM, Evil Queen said:

I can imagine even those that might actually work in that field get scared over the smallest thing when it comes to their own situations. I don't think attending or working that field would make one not ever be depending on the person. As well as what area of medical they are in. I have a good friend that gets major anxiety over even going to the doctor's for her pap or a mammogram. While I can't understand it myself, I don't think she is a drama queen or anything. I have my own things I get anxiety over doing. But she has also had 2 different experiences with getting mammograms that both involved having to get them redone because they weren't done right. In the back of her mind she is freaking out hoping there is nothing wrong. IMO I don't care what kind of surgery it is, if I have to go under I am going to be freaked out over that. I have been under at least 3 times in the past and I would still freak out over it at this point. 

 

IMO its not about Nick not having sex with Sonia that is why I question his sexuality but so much more...which has been discussed over and over. But with Sonia, I agree I don't think she is that attracted to him but she is trying and that is what they are suppose to do. I took her laughing during that Tantric session as happening not because she wasn't attracted to Nick but the way that lady was putting herself into it all as well and how crazy weird that whole situation was. It was hard to take that whole thing seriously when this lady is shoving herself in the middle of it all or including herself in some way in to it. The lady even was stroking at Sonia at one point when Nick was sitting behind Sonia. I am still not understanding why they were set to do this. More so after watching it when it seemed this lady was trying to get some freaky threesome going. LOL 

[Gem 10]

Wait.  Lily attended Medical School?  Does anyone know where and when?

[humbleopinion]

Go to Honeymoon Part 2, page 2 for the Lily's medical school drop out