S08.E03: Party In A Sweatbox

[RCharter]

I think she was horny and stupid, plain and simple. Wasn't she engaged to another man when Apollo got released that May? The lies about due dates and the quickie wedding (from a woman who loves spectacle and pomp) , combined with her super churchy references that first season point to nothing but a hurry up wedding to me. They probably have bomb sex and she got knocked up. Formal education means nothing when it comes to unprotected sex. That religious stigma (pastor mama) and the fact that she was getting up in age wrt biological viability were probably the triggers for the marriage. Who knows when she'd get another chance, especially when one accounts for finding men of a certain age and accomplishment level in straight man thirsty Atlanta, appropriate dating times (a couple of years maybe) then marriage, to try to squeeze out a kid or two. I think Apollo's looks played a part in the hookup, not necessarily the kids. Do we really think Phaedra would ever seriously date any other poor, uneducated man with the intent of marriage and kids, even beautiful and without a criminal history? She is way too stuck on image for that. Shotgun marriage, IMO.

Not formal education, but just plain common sense.  I think Phaedra can be very sneaky, so she isn't just book smart, she should have had common sense enough to not get pregnant....if she didn't want to get pregnant.  I think Phaedra may have felt like she could take a beautiful idiot and turn him into someone that was at least respectable.....which she tried to do by "giving" Apollo jobs.  Phaedra is all about image, but I think that, like you said, she realized that she couldn't snag the man she wanted, so she settled for a man in the second hand bin and tried to put some glitter glue on him to make him look better.  If Phaedra is all about image, the only thing people can really see, is that she is married to a "good looking" guy.  Its up to her, or him to share that he has a criminal record and is a womanizer.  So a good looking guy that she can tell people is in "asset recovery" makes her look good, since it can sound like a good job to people.  I mean, she never told anyone Apollo was a "repo man" because that doesn't fit with her need to satisfy an image.

 

I think its possible that Phaedra, knowing her situation, tried to do what she could to get any man, because of the pressure she was under.  And I think its possible that she actually tricked Apollo.  He mentioned something at one point that made it clear he didn't want children, but Phaedra was pregnant and was pressuring him to get married even though he knew he didn't have the resources to support a child or a family.  And I tend to believe that, because I've never heard of Apollo having any other kids, so as dumb as he is, he knew he didn't want to be in that position.

[Neurochick]

I've heard this said before and I kind of take offense to it.  It makes it seem like the only way black women can have pretty children is if they procreate with a light skinned man.  Phaedra is a pretty woman.  I feel her children would be pretty even if she was married to a dark skinned man.  Plus, I've never heard Phaedra say or do anything that would make me think that is why she married Apollo.

 

It is offensive, but sadly very true.  I've heard too many black women (and men) say things like, "I want to have a baby with a _____" so I can have pretty children and this wasn't years ago, this was this year.  

 

Most people would never admit things like that, but to me, an intelligent woman like Phaedra wouldn't have gone near a man like Apollo if she didn't think he was "fine."  

[sunsheyen]

I definitely agree that IMO, Apollo was not one who desired a gang of kids...or any, tbh. That said, I still can't see Phaedra 'trapping' him into kids, knowing his criminal history was a matter of public record, regardless of how she spun it. I think she got pregnant as an unthinking horndog, thought it may be a 'last chance' to have kids, and had to make it work. Him being a 'white collar' criminal just made it a bit easier to smooth over in her mind. The drill in the garage incident just exposed the trash she involved herself with.

That being said, I wouldn't doubt Mr. President being the product of trickery.

Edited November 28, 2015 by sunsheyen

[qtpye]

It is offensive, but sadly very true.  I've heard too many black women (and men) say things like, "I want to have a baby with a _____" so I can have pretty children and this wasn't years ago, this was this year.  

 

Most people would never admit things like that, but to me, an intelligent woman like Phaedra wouldn't have gone near a man like Apollo if she didn't think he was "fine."  

 

I've heard this said before and I kind of take offense to it.  It makes it seem like the only way black women can have pretty children is if they procreate with a light skinned man.  Phaedra is a pretty woman.  I feel her children would be pretty even if she was married to a dark skinned man.  Plus, I've never heard Phaedra say or do anything that would make me think that is why she married Apollo.

 

 

I think both of these statements are true.  The funny thing is I think Phae's children are adorable because they both look a lot like her.  It also helps that Aiden seems very intelligent...and we know he did not get that from his daddy.

[swankie]

Most people would never admit things like that, but to me, an intelligent woman like Phaedra wouldn't have gone near a man like Apollo if she didn't think he was "fine."

 

 

That doesn't necessarily mean that she married him to have pretty children.  I think she got dickmatized (The guy just got out of prison.  He was probably a sex machine! lol) and got caught up in the moment and got pregnant.  And from what I see of her hanging on to the marriage for dear life even though Apollo will be gone for years, I think Phaedra really fell in love with him.  True love really happens.  Sadly, all too often, you fall for the absolute wrong person.  Sadly for her, that's what it turned out to be. 

Edited November 29, 2015 by swankie

[cooksdelight]

ITA Swankie, she is smart and should know better....but when it comes to love, brains sometimes fly right out the window.

[Neurochick]

That doesn't necessarily mean that she married him to have pretty children.  I think she got dickmatized (The guy just got out of prison.  He was probably a sex machine! lol) and got caught up in the moment and got pregnant.  And from what I see of her hanging on to the marriage for dear life even though Apollo will be gone for years, I think Phaedra really fell in love with him.  True love really happens.  Sadly, all too often, you fall for the absolute wrong person.  Sadly for her, that's what it turned out to be. 

 

I have to disagree.  I don't think Phaedra would have even slept with Apollo if he hadn't been "fine" to her.  She probably wouldn't have given him a second glance had he been unattractive.  And being "dickmatized" doesn't equal real love.  Here's how I think it went down.  She screwed him because he was fine and then thought, "shit, we'd have some pretty children."

Edited November 29, 2015 by Neurochick

[Happycatisfine]

Watched a rerun of the last episode and when Porscha's man arrives for their sex rendezvous she tells him to "take your book bag off"!  What the hell?  I thought it was super strange that he was sporting a backpack for an overnight with his new girlfriend, but for her to call it a book bag????  She's so stupid but I gotta think it's genuine and not for the show. 

[WireWrap]

I have to disagree.  I don't think Phaedra would have even slept with Apollo if he hadn't been "fine" to her.  She probably wouldn't have given him a second glance had he been unattractive.  And being "dickmatized" doesn't equal real love.  Here's how I think it went down.  She screwed him because he was fine and then thought, "shit, we'd have some pretty children."

IMO, a lot of women are attracted to a man's "looks" first and his personality second. LOL That said, I think Phaedra had a "freak itch" she needed scratched and she chose Apollo. He hit all the "bad boy" requirments (minus physical violence), criminal, prison time, decent looking and in need of getting his "freak on" as well. JMO

[nexxie]

Didn't Apollo once say on the show that Phaedra only wanted him for babies?

He does make pretty babies - and that's about all he has going for him it seems.

[Petunia13]

He's extremely stupid, lazy, selfish, and emotionally unstable. She can't have been in love with his personality.

[EtheltoTillie]

I do not recall seeing them watching Kenya's pilot.

Yes, can anyone else confirm this?  I really looked in this episode and the next.  They were setting it up for an epic fail, as in Tootie hates the Twirl.

[cooksdelight]

Kim hasn't watched it yet.

The women watched clips of it in someone's media room last season.

[Ubiquitous]

Kim hasn't watched it yet.

The women watched clips of it in someone's media room last season.

Yes, the girls watched it at Kenya's wedding-themed premier party at the season finale, but we haven't seen Kim and her husband watching it yet.

[SFoster21]

Didn't Apollo once say on the show that Phaedra only wanted him for babies?

He does make pretty babies - and that's about all he has going for him it seems.

I think, as others have said, that she was in love with him. You can't choose who you love and often your love object appears unworthy to others, but it happens.

In my experience, you can love your husband very much, but a child has needs that are so immediate and all-encompassing, that your husband can feel that you have turned away, because he is no longer your primary concern. Apollo no doubt felt left out once Phaedra had her children and was busy with a new career. She pretty much used him as a prop. I recall her photo shoots and her silly sporting and granding at her ridiculous parties and his reluctance to go along with her pretentiousness.

So that remark of his makes sense to me. She certainly threw around the word "huzzbin" enough to make it clear that he was the "pawn in her game" and a precious possession. Unfortunately, that was not what he considered a rewarding role.