S12.E08: Things We Lost In The Fire

[saltycheese]

I don't think it was odd, and I get why the firefighter understood her perfectly... They both rely on the traumatic (sometimes fatal) misfortune of others to make their money. They don't want people to be sick or be trapped in fires, but they have bills to pay and they need other people to go through terrible times in order for them to do that. 

Maybe it was the delivery of the line that made me uncomfortable, IDK! 

[timimouse]

 

A problem with Meredith is that she really does believe that she is the sun, and everyone should revolve around her.  She can't stand it when she is not at the center.

 

 

...As colleague like Maggie did, you would discuss the course of action to take, she took his opinion into account which is the best way for the patient,not some petty malicious games. Why did even Meredith interfere when she is not a cardio surgeon is worth considering. I honestly do not see why she felt the right to change his decision of monitoring him instead of opening his chest, she still told Penny to book an OR. 

 

 

This reasoning of Meredith’s is so sick to me.  My ex-husband lost any right to be concerned in my life with the signing of the divorce papers, and if any friend of his dared to poke his nose in my affairs, I would call the police and report a stalker.  While my current lover does, of course have a legitimate interest in my life.

 

I'm gonna step in here to defend Meredith, not because I agree with her necessarily, but because I understand her.

We've watched these characters for 10+ years now. We know their stories. Their past before we met them and the things we've seen them face over the last 10 years. Meredith being a big part of all that, being a member of the original cast. So we KNOW that Meredith Grey is SCREWED UP! I'm not going to get into why (yes I believe Ellis to be a huge part of that but let me not digress) but I think it's safe to say that we can agree that Meredith has issues. Real problems. And maybe that adds to her being a great surgeon however, why do we insist on judging her by "normal people's" standards when she is NOT NORMAL?!?!? She has had problems with family over the years and we saw how difficult it was to even accept Lexxie as a sister who was actually biologically related, and then along comes Maggie and Amelia (sidenote, Maggie isn't even trying as hard as Amelia is) and she is expected to just take them in with open arms? Is that the Meredith we've known over the years? She's loyal to Christina and she believes that loyalty to Hunt is how to keep that promise. WE the rational thinking people may not see that as fair or reasonable were we in her shoes, but please, let us not take Meredith out of context. She's a bloody nutter and she's gonna do things that don't make sense. But can we take a step back for a minute and try to understand why she does what she does?

Edited November 24, 2015 by timimouse

[photo fox]

Oh, I understand why Meredith is the way she is. But I still don't like her and think she's a horrible friend. At some point, you need to quit blaming your upbringing, no matter how awful it was.

Speaking of Perfect Penny - snoooooooooooooooooooooore - Samantha Sloyan is the dullest actress ever as Penny is the dullest character ever. I'd say one drink at Joe's with her had Steph running back to Jo.

"Dull" is a perfect descriptor of the character and the actress. She needs to follow Hahn into the parking lot and we can all agree to pretend this storyline never happened.

[statsgirl]

I think we were supposed to be impressed at Bailey every time she said "We're not going to ship any firefighters elsewhere, we're going to treat them all here" that she was determined to treat them all but the all that I could think of was "you've run out of room on the burn unit, you're low on staff and supplies.  Do you really think they can get better care in the cafeteria than in the burn unit of another hospital?"  Idiotic.

 

Owen's mother was wrong to talk to Meredith about Owen's problem and not to Amelia.  Amelia is his girlfriend, Amelia was the one who was trying to explain how her boyfriend was doing and make her feel better.  If Owen doesn't want to tell Meredith what the problem is, and he doesn't, he said so last episode, Mom Hunt shouldn't be telling Meredith either. Or if she tells Meredith, she should tell Amelia too.  Maybe she thought Meredith would pass it on to Amelia since a normal person would have.

 

I'm gonna step in here to defend Meredith, not because I agree with her necessarily, but because I understand her.

We've watched these characters for 10+ years now. We know their stories. Their past before we met them and the things we've seen them face over the last 10 years. Meredith being a big part of all that, being a member of the original cast. So we KNOW that Meredith Grey is SCREWED UP! I'm not going to get into why (yes I believe Ellis to be a huge part of that but let me not digress) but I think it's safe to say that we can agree that Meredith has issues. Real problems. And maybe that adds to her being a great surgeon however, why do we insist on judging her by "normal people's" standards when she is NOT NORMAL?!?!? She has had problems with family over the years and we saw how difficult it was to even accept Lexxie as a sister who was actually biologically related, and then along comes Maggie and Amelia (sidenote, Maggie isn't even trying as hard as Amelia is) and she is expected to just take them in with open arms?

She said she would at the end of last season.  So if she said it, she should do it.

 

Amelia's her father was murdereed in front of her when she was a  young child.  She lost her fiance to a drug overdose and then learned that his baby that she was carrying did not have a brain. She chose to carry it to term so that it could be an organ donor, which had to be incredibly stressful.  She is a drug addict who went trhough a difficult recovery. Her only brother died and she didn't have the chance to say good bye to him.  In terms of real problems, I think Amelia's history beats Meredith's.

 

Meredith may be a nutter but the show wants to tell us that she's a good person and someone to root for.  Maybe I could if she didn't go around hurting vulnerable people in her selfishness.  But Jo is not only Alex's girlfriend, she's a junior on Meredith's service.  Amelia is someone she called her sister, so Amelia expects to be treated like a sister.  There are some people who don't have social skills but they can learn them.

 

I saw Paul Gross (Due South) in the play Domesticated this week, and Gross talks about his character, a gynaecologist, having no sense of self-awareness.  It seems to me that that is Meredith's problem too.  She has no sense of the bigger picture of what she's doing or how it affects people around her.  It's like the fight about the 3D printer that she wouldn't let Cristina use.  Cristina wanted to save a patient, Meredith's research would have been delayed by one day but she refused to use it for the patient.

 

The show used to act like Cristina is the one without empathy but I don't think even Cristina would be acting like this.

Edited November 27, 2015 by statsgirl

[calipiano81]

I hate. hate, HATE Amelia. I nearly stood up from my chair and cheered the fuck out of Meredith telling her that she is NOT her sister and to get the hell out of her house. I hate all of the Shepherds, but now that Derek is dead, Amelia has moved to the front of the line. She's such a child. Meredith doesn't owe you shit. Have a whole stadium of seats you epic fail character.

I don't love Amelia, but this episode made me HATE, HATE, HATE Meredith.

That whole "You're not my sister, you're Derek's and he is gone" was so cold and unnecessary. Amelia was under the impression that she and Meredith were at least friends.

And anyways, I think loving people includes showing decency to the people they love. So that includes Derek's sister as well as Alex's girlfriend.

Speaking of, while I like Jo and Alex together, I hope she turns down his proposal. Alex needs to really realize how much he hurts her when he always sides with Meredith and makes her a priority over Jo.

Edited November 27, 2015 by calipiano81

[braziliangirl]

This episode really solidified some things for me: I can't stand April, Owen and Amelia. I think Grey's would improve immensely without them. Stephanie can go too although she doesn't annoy me that much. Keep Pierce and Andrew, they have bether chemistry with the rest of the cast.

I still love Meredith but I'm hoping that the rest of the season will make her a little more warmer, less guarded and agressive. Maybe she could go back to therapy? I don't know, some realization that she's becoming Ellis and resulting in her trying to be different: a better mother, person. There's a lot of potential for storylines here that don't involve her being an ass to Jo for no reason. I don't get why the writers prefer to waste time with very contrived storylines (when they could create things that the audience could relate to and be emotional about it).

Finally: "As long as you love me"? Really? Grey's Anatomy made me discovered a lot of great songs. They had killer soundtracks. What the hell happened?

Edited January 5, 2016 by braziliangirl

[Nobodysfan]

This episode really solidified some things for me: I can't stand April, Owen and Amelia. I think Grey's would improve immensely without them. Stephanie can go too although she doesn't annoy me that much. Keep Pierce and Andrew, they have bether chemistry with the rest of the cast.

I still love Meredith but I'm hoping that the rest of the season will make her a little more warmer, less guarded and agressive. Maybe she could go back to therapy? I don't know, some realization that she's becoming Ellis and resulting in her trying to be different: a better mother, person. There's a lot of potential for storylines here that don't involve her being an ass to Jo for no reason. I don't get why the writers prefer to waste time with very contrived storylines (when they could create things that the audience could relate to and be emotional about it).

Finally: "As long as you love me"? Really? Grey's Anatomy made me discovered a lot of great songs. They had killer soundtracks. What the hell happened?

I like your comment braziliangirl.

 

Pompeo mentioned seeing Meredith juggle motherhood and career,but we see none of it reflected in the story. The kids do not exist.

I hope it changes in the second half of the season. I´d rather see her reading bedtime stories to her kids,solving some trouble with them,or treating them when they have flu,making dinner for them or changing Ellis´s nappy than drinking tequilla or fighting with Amelia.

Edited January 5, 2016 by Nobodysfan

[izabella]

I actually don't want to see Meredith doing much of those things.  BUT, since they gave her three kids, then Mer's story line can't be "juggling career and single motherhood to 3 kids" and completely ignore the limitations that having 3 kids places on a person.  Like, knocking down walls in the middle of the night and no kids are waking up crying, scared to death at the noise.  Like, always being out and about drinking while the kids are where? 

 

The show wants to have it both ways...oh, look, poor widowed Mer is raising 3 kids on her own AND Mer's 3 kids don't impact her life in any way just as though she didn't have any kids.

Edited January 5, 2016 by izabella

[Nobodysfan]

I actually don't want to see Meredith doing much of those things.  BUT, since they gave her three kids, then Mer's story line can't be "juggling career and single motherhood to 3 kids" and completely ignore the limitations that having 3 kids places on a person.  Like, knocking down walls in the middle of the night and no kids are waking up crying, scared to death at the noise.  Like, always being out and about drinking while the kids are where? 

 

The show wants to have it both ways...oh, look, poor widowed Mer is raising 3 kids on her own AND Mer's 3 kids don't impact her life in any way just as though she didn't have any kids.

 

I do not want to see much of it either, you see, just a scene here and there to feel and see the impact of raising 3 kids on widow Meredith.

 

You summed it all up perfectly.

Edited January 5, 2016 by Nobodysfan

[Marni]

I actually don't want to see Meredith doing much of those things.  BUT, since they gave her three kids, then Mer's story line can't be "juggling career and single motherhood to 3 kids" and completely ignore the limitations that having 3 kids places on a person.  Like, knocking down walls in the middle of the night and no kids are waking up crying, scared to death at the noise.  Like, always being out and about drinking while the kids are where? 

 

The show wants to have it both ways...oh, look, poor widowed Mer is raising 3 kids on her own AND Mer's 3 kids don't impact her life in any way just as though she didn't have any kids.

Exactly! I think they should give Meredith a nanny. It wouldn't have to be a proper character, just make it known she has a nanny helping her. Not to bring everything back to Shonda, but I'm reading her book and there's a great chapter about her beloved nanny being the reason she is able to "do it all". She writes about the stigma around having help and how damaging it is for successful working mothers to stay silent about the help they have as it sets up unrealistic expectations for others. It frustrates me that they are doing that with Meredith, presenting this completely unrealistic 'perfect' image. Why not acknowledge that for Meredith to seamlessly manage three young children, a highly demanding career and a social life, yes she would need to have help and she is able to afford it. That would be so much more honest and I think powerful.

[Deanie87]

I agree. I think that the third kid was a completely ill-thought out idea, kind of like a "look here is a shiny baby to make you forget that we just killed McDreamy."  But since they made it a huge plot point, it is silly to now ignore it.  I have always felt that having 3 kids wasn't entirely in Meredith's character, but since they did it, they should really acknowledge it realistically.  One of the premises of the show is the comparison of Meredith vs. Ellis, and her time with and away from her kids is a big part of that.

[Nobodysfan]

IIt's too much to add Riggs/Owen as mortal enemies when we are already suffering through Meredith/Penny. And nothing convinces me that Riggs did not anticipate this problem, or would be willing to stay once it became intolerable. Meredith seemed to oppose him on principal alone, and a patient was placed in danger as Mer and Riggs circled and peed on him like a dog claiming his territory.

 

Rereading the comments for last epi just to get slowly in the mood for the next one as the hiatus is getting shorter,I somehow missed to like yours.

Edited January 15, 2016 by Meredithfan

[Nobodysfan]

I watched the last two episodes tonight, so this might be the wrong thread, but I can't keep it in.

 

During Amelia's multiple white privilege conversations, could she have BEEN any twitchier?  Geez, she mugged, she cringed, she winced, she grimaced, she curled up like a shrimp.  Yes, I know the actress was demonstrating her character's discomfort, but please. 

I wanted to hit her with a stun gun.

 

I'm so distracted by my dislike of Amelia, it didn't even occur to me she shouldn't be ordering a vodka tonic. 

 

So, goody, another storyline for Amelia.  She gets so little airtime.

 

I can´t  believe I haven´t favourited your comment yet, I always find it so cool. Mistake is now corrected.

[Nobodysfan]

Hate Amelia so so much. She is strident and immature and annoying and just...I can't stand her. Because her non-boyfriend won't share with her, she gets mad at Meredith? Even if Meredith was keeping Owen's secret just because he asked her to, and having nothing to do with Christina, Amelia should respect that. Gaaah. She is the worst character on the show. (Owen is a close second at the moment, but I am interested to see where the Riggs storyline goes).   

I hate her just as much, everytime I imagine how her screentime could be divided for the other characters. What was Rhimes thinking when she hired the actress full-time? I will never get it. I dread the second half of the season of how much airtime they will give Amelia  as she starts drinking again which I think is pretty obvious.

[candall]

I got my little PTV notice and dropped by to see who quoted me.  Hi, Meredithfan, thanks!

 

Looking through the thread, I'm reminded we're going to return to Penny angst and Amelia falling off the wagon.  Sigh.  But I'll be here, because I'll never not be here.  Okay by me if they keep going until they come full circle and Baby Ellis grows up to confront Meredith on the topic of absent parenting.

 

However. . . yesterday I happened to channel surf past the plane crash and the surprising "months later" followup episode.  Brilliant.  The show was once brilliant.