Quotes Thread: Thank Yew!

[shapeshifter]

In episode 1.11, Brenda to FBI Agent Jackson, "I stopped believing men who said trust me when I was 16."

[treeofdreams]

Another memorable one from an earlier episode, I think the first one:

 

If I liked being called a bitch to my face, I would still be married.

Edited March 22, 2015 by treeofdreams

[shapeshifter]

S2 E5 "To Protect and Serve"

Brenda [to Provenza]: Just. Go home!!

Provenza: Is that how they say "you're fired" in The South?

Brenda Leigh: Your garage is a crime scene, Lieutenant Provenza. Go home!

[MaryMitch]

In season 5 episode 8 - "Elysian Fields" - a retired detective, played by Tom Skerritt, has tortured and murdered a suspect in a killing in order to get a confession and close a case before he dies of cancer.

Brenda: "You are a lifelong and decorated member of the law enforcement community. How could you do something like this?"

Det. Joey 'O' Olin: "The Make a Wish Foundation refused to do it for me."

[Raja]

On 4/19/2015 at 7:15 PM, shapeshifter said:

S2 E5 "To Protect and Serve"

Brenda [to Provenza]: Just. Go home!!

Provenza: Is that how they say "you're fired" in The South?

Brenda Leigh: Your garage is a crime scene, Lieutenant Provenza. Go home!

From that episode when she starts banging the stapler on the desk asking WHERE ARE PROVENZA and FLYNN

[shapeshifter]

From 2.12 "No Good Deed":

Priest: I wonder, Ms. Johnson. Do you believe in God?

Brenda: Right now, Father, I believe in God a whole lot more than I believe you.

[shapeshifter]

From episode 6.6, "Off the Hook," an amusing bit of dialogue:

Provenza [who is on his cell phone]: Deputy chief Johnson. Where are you? 
Chief Pope [sidling up to Provenza]: Is that chief Johnson? 
Provenza: My proctologist. You need something? 
Pope: No, no. I just... You're asking where your proctologist is? 
Provenza: Yes. I hate it when he surprises me.

Edited June 30, 2016 by shapeshifter

[Raja]

Detective Sanchez to a good father: "He's not your son anymore, he's Catorce"

[Bastet]

Pope, apologizing for Brenda's behavior:  Sorry, sometimes she forgets there are other people in the world.

Simmons' delivery makes it art.

[Valmarmar]

When a suspect yells to Brenda:  Go to Hell !!

Brenda:  You FURST !!!

[Bastet]

Fritz: You're not suggesting that I pick up your dad, who I have never met, all by myself.
Brenda: You've met my mother; she'll introduce you.

Brenda, upon being told the shrink hasn't cleared her to return to full duty: That's nuts!
Pope: According to this report, so are you.

[Bastet]

Virtually everything Brenda and Capt. Raydor say to or about each other is a favorite quote for me, and this is particularly true of Living Proof, the two-part Christmas episode about a Serbian war criminal posing as one of his victims.

When Brenda introduces her to Clay and Willie Rae as “my Captain Raydor … I mean, my friend Captain Sharon … I mean, my friend Sharon Raydor,” and this ensues:

Clay: Friend?  We have been waiting to meet one of Brenda’s friends since she graduated high school.
Sharon: Well, here I am.

And later when Sharon is moping about the airport being closed, and Willie Rae invites her to join them for dinner, because “your friend Brenda wouldn’t have it any other way.”  Her reaction – and Pope’s – is so much fun.

I love all the pouting about changing holiday plans, and trying to pawn the case off on each other.  Like when Brenda gets all excited that Pope’s elevator stunt means Sharon has to interview the boy Brenda isn’t allowed to interview and wants Sharon to ask Brenda’s questions for her, and Sharon says she will, but then she wants a police escort to LAX.  And later when roles are reversed, and Sharon gets a reluctant Brenda to agree to add Sharon’s questions to Provenza’s interview with the boy by reminding her that if she can get the lawsuit dropped and make her flight, “then I’ll be gone for weeks.”

This is entirely due to Mary McDonnell’s delivery rather than the actual dialogue, because my favorite part of the entire thing is when Brenda protests that the tape is still in Albanian and Sharon responds with complete exasperation, “Of course it’s still in Albanian, it’s always been in Albanian. … Well, where on earth would I get get an Albanian translator on Christmas morning?”

It’s not a quote, but Sharon’s eye roll behind Pope’s back when he says, “Chief Delk left this morning on vacation, you’re speaking with Acting Chief Pope” is a thing of beauty.

There are a lot of great quotes with other characters in those episodes, too; they did a great job of weaving together a seriously depressing crime and lighthearted holiday hijinks. 

When Fritz also tells Brenda he's fresh out of Albanian translators, and she mutters, "Oh, I ask you for one thing!" 

And basically everything Fritz says about Clay and Willie Ray's visit and their plan to move to L.A.

[shapeshifter]

4 hours ago, Bastet said:

Virtually everything Brenda and Capt. Raydor say to or about each other is a favorite quote for me, and this is particularly true of Living Proof, the two-part Christmas episode about a Serbian war criminal posing as one of his victims.

When Brenda introduces her to Clay and Willie Rae as “my Captain Raydor … I mean, my friend Captain Sharon … I mean, my friend Sharon Raydor,” and this ensues:

Clay: Friend?  We have been waiting to meet one of Brenda’s friends since she graduated high school.
Sharon: Well, here I am.

And later when Sharon is moping about the airport being closed, and Willie Rae invites her to join them for dinner, because “your friend Brenda wouldn’t have it any other way.”  Her reaction – and Pope’s – is so much fun.

I love all the pouting about changing holiday plans, and trying to pawn the case off on each other.  Like when Brenda gets all excited that Pope’s elevator stunt means Sharon has to interview the boy Brenda isn’t allowed to interview and wants Sharon to ask Brenda’s questions for her, and Sharon says she will, but then she wants a police escort to LAX.  And later when roles are reversed, and Sharon gets a reluctant Brenda to agree to add Sharon’s questions to Provenza’s interview with the boy by reminding her that if she can get the lawsuit dropped and make her flight, “then I’ll be gone for weeks.”

This is entirely due to Mary McDonnell’s delivery rather than the actual dialogue, because my favorite part of the entire thing is when Brenda protests that the tape is still in Albanian and Sharon responds with complete exasperation, “Of course it’s still in Albanian, it’s always been in Albanian. … Well, where on earth would I get get an Albanian translator on Christmas morning?”

It’s not a quote, but Sharon’s eye roll behind Pope’s back when he says, “Chief Delk left this morning on vacation, you’re speaking with Acting Chief Pope” is a thing of beauty.

There are a lot of great quotes with other characters in those episodes, too; they did a great job of weaving together a seriously depressing crime and lighthearted holiday hijinks. 

When Fritz also tells Brenda he's fresh out of Albanian translators, and she mutters, "Oh, I ask you for one thing!" 

And basically everything Fritz says about Clay and Willie Ray's visit and their plan to move to L.A.

I've seen a lot of crime shows try to mix humor and darkness; some succeed, but when they fail it's bad. Even the ones that succeed usually just have a bit of comic relief. You're right that this two-parter was unusually successful.

I can't watch The Closer reruns enough; I always catch a gem I missed.

[movingtargetgal]

On 5/13/2016 at 9:09 AM, Raja said:

On 4/18/2015 at 10:15 PM, shapeshifter said:

S2 E5 "To Protect and Serve"

Brenda [to Provenza]: Just. Go home!!

Provenza: Is that how they say "you're fired" in The South?

Brenda Leigh: Your garage is a crime scene, Lieutenant Provenza. Go home!

From that episode when she starts banging the stapler on the desk asking WHERE ARE PROVENZA and FLYNN

When she finds out Flynn and Provenza were going to a Dodgers game and she screams "SKYBOX SEATS".  The rest of the squad is listening on the other side of the glass wall to Brenda's office and they all get looks on their faces that kids get when their brothers are in serious trouble with mom.  

[starri]

Brenda: Before you get angry, last night Lieutenants Flynn and Provenza --

Pope: Yep, already angry. What have they done this time?

Brenda: While escorting a fugitive back from Dallas they struck up a date with a couple of stewardesses.

Pope: What is this, the 70s?

[Bastet]

I love every time Pope reacts to one of the Flynn/Provenza mishaps.

Pope: So we do have fingerprints?
Brenda: We're having to wait on that.
Pope: Why are we waiting? I'm the Chief of Police. I'll call the Prints section, and we'll put a rush on it.
Sharon: The glove is not with Prints section.
Pope: Of course not. Where is it?
Brenda: Lieutenant Provenza's ex-wife Liz was with him at the store, and her dog, Frank. Frank got to the glove first and ... consumed it.
Pope: So, if I understand you correctly - and I fear that I do - Lieutenant Provenza's ex-wife's dog ate the evidence.
Brenda: And we're ... we're having to wait for it to reappear.

[starri]

The squad has watched the first episode of the disgusting pickup artist's TV show.

Brenda:  "He did this to eight woman and only got shot ONCE?!?!"

[starri]

From "Manhunt" which is either my favorite or second-favorite episode depending on the day.

Brenda has three days to find a serial killer before he kills again, and the most recent victim's husband, an ADA is getting in her way.

"Because if you don't agree, sir, I am leaving this room to call the district attorney to inform him that a deputy in his Major Crimes office is standing between me and a serial killer.  And I say this because I want you to understand that I will not prevent this investigation to be compromised by your affiliation with law enforcement.  There is a woman's life at stake here.  Do not test me on this, sir."

I hope Hobbs snubbed him at the office Christmas party.

[Bastet]

For "movie night" last night, a friend and I had a Sharon Raydor marathon, including some of her episodes of The Closer (bean bag gun!).  Pretty much everything Sharon and Brenda ever said to or about each other is a favorite quote, but here are a few highlights:

B: So, you're saying I should take the job whether I want it or not.

S: Yes. Please make the oh-so-terrible sacrifice of accepting a promotion that offers you more money, prestige, and power than any other job in the city. And if it will help you with the suffering, you'll not only be a positive role model for little girls all over this country, but I personally ... I will feel very proud to have a chief that I can truly admire.

B: What’s going on?  Why have you been so nice?
S: I could ask the same of you.
B: I’ve been nice?
S: No.

S: We want the mayor’s first impression of you to be as a woman capable of handling a lot of power.  To look at you and think something like, “Wow.”
B: Because I’m a woman.
S: No, no, – because most candidates for chief of police run popularity contests, and you’re not especially political, well liked, or even friendly.

Sharon: You don’t think I wanted to spend my career in Internal Affairs doing a job that leaves me disliked and mistrusted by my fellow officers every day of my life?  No, I chose IA because I thought it was the quickest way to achieve rank.  And I also thought it would be good for the Department to see a woman in a Captain’s uniform.  And, of course, you got your job the old-fashioned way -- by sleeping with the boss.

B: Captain Raydor?
S: Chief Johnson.
B: I have a complaint.
S: When have you not?

Brenda, interrogating a sheriff’s deputy: [You went] right over the line that you’re never, ever supposed to cross.  The justice system works pretty well until someone starts thinking that they’re smarter than the sheriff’s office, the FBI, and the entire LAPD combined.  Do you see what happens when you throw away the rule book?  People die!
Sharon, watching on the monitor with Pope and Fritz: Do you think she’s conscious of what she’s saying?  Somebody may want to play back this part of the interview for her when she gets home tonight.

S: As good as Coach Carr’s intentions are, his actions were illegal.
B:  … Or you could say that the challenges he faced at work forced him to look for unorthodox solutions. And now, for going above and beyond the call of duty, he’ll probably lose his job.
S: Maybe it’s time for him to move on.
B: I don’t know. He seemed to be doing important work, even if it wasn’t fully appreciated by his boss and fellow teachers. There’s something about that I find admirable.
S: Me too.

S: Congratulations, Chief.
B: Listen, I just wanna thank you for standing by me, I know it hasn’t been easy.
S: Chief, if our job was easy, no one would put up with either one of us. You’re no more difficult to deal with than I am. I mean that as a compliment.
B: Well thank you, Sharon.  I’m very grateful to you, I really am.
S: You’re welcome.

And, of course:

"Mama, Daddy, this is my Captain Raydor.  I- I mean my- my friend, Captain Sharon.  I mean, my friend, Sharon Raydor."

[Xeliou66]

I’ve been rewatching the show in order and there are plenty of great quotes 

Some funny ones from Borderline which I watched recently 

When discussing illegal immigrants coming from Mexico we get this exchange between Provenza and Sanchez

Provenza “How did you get here Sanchez?”

Sanchez “Your daughter drove me”

Followed by Provenza’s mock accent “S’all Right? S’all Right” and moving his fist like a mouth, rubbing Julio’s cheek. Provenza and Sanchez were always awesome together and both added a lot of humor. 

A minute later Gabriel goes on a long winded tangent about the type of gun used in the murder while sitting at the absent Tao’s desk and when Brenda cuts him off Flynn quips “he’s channeling Tao from Hawaii”. 

Also when Brenda asks for Pope’s help to solve a problem Pope responds “I’m listening. Scared but listening”. Pope’s deadpan deliveries and reactions to Brenda’s schemes were downright hilarious. 

This show had so many funny and terrific quotes from this show.

[Xeliou66]

From Season 2’s Overkill

Provenza : “In my experience, the people who have your back are the ones who tend to stab you in it”

Flynn : “Yeah, I love you to”

Hilarious exchange, Provenza and Flynn were always entertaining and that episode had a lot of funny moments between them. 

I found Fritz yammering on about what Kitty does when they are not home while Brenda is deep in thought over the case to be hilarious as well for some reason. 

Also, I loved Julio at the end when the mobster took Provenza’s gun, shot the FBI agent and took Provenza hostage, Julio going in the corridor behind them and when the mobster dragged them back there, Julio calmly said “Hey Marty” and then pumped 3 rounds into him, then going over when he was already down despite Brenda’s objections and ordering him to drop the gun which he held on to, when he lifted it Sanchez shot him twice more. Awesome moment for Sanchez, his reaction showed his bravery and his concern for Provenza, that was the first of two times he saved Provenza’s life and put himself in harms way to protect him, they really started developing the Sanchez-Provenza relationship in season 2 and that was my favorite of the show. Also interesting scene in that everyone drew their weapons including Pope and Taylor, about the only time I can ever remember seeing them in a dangerous situation like that. 

Edited February 11, 2018 by Xeliou66

[Xeliou66]

Another hilarious Provenza-Flynn scene, from Serving the King. When the 2 of them and Brenda are out exploring the deserted crime scene at night, and Provenza comments that it’s creepy, Flynn responds “want me to hold you?”, Hilarious Provenza-Flynn scene. 

And then at the end when Pope welcomes Provenza and Sanchez back after being absent a couple of months because of the shooting, Sanchez respectfully tells him “thank you, Chief Pope sir” and then Provenza repeats Sanchez’ words in a very mocking tone, and Pope walks back and glares at Provenza and then just says “good to have you back Sanchez” and walks off while everyone else tries to contain their laughter. Provenza gave zero fucks about what his bosses thought of him, one of the many reasons I love him

[andromeda331]

1 hour ago, Xeliou66 said:

Another hilarious Provenza-Flynn scene, from Serving the King. When the 2 of them and Brenda are out exploring the deserted crime scene at night, and Provenza comments that it’s creepy, Flynn responds “want me to hold you?”, Hilarious Provenza-Flynn scene. 

And then at the end when Pope welcomes Provenza and Sanchez back after being absent a couple of months because of the shooting, Sanchez respectfully tells him “thank you, Chief Pope sir” and then Provenza repeats Sanchez’ words in a very mocking tone, and Pope walks back and glares at Provenza and then just says “good to have you back Sanchez” and walks off while everyone else tries to contain their laughter. Provenza gave zero fucks about what his bosses thought of him, one of the many reasons I love him

One of the many reasons why I love him too. I love in season six when the new Chief asks him after being annoyed by Provenza how old he is. Without hesitation or care he answers "Six Chiefs and Counting". Zero care that this is his new boss.

[Xeliou66]

2 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

One of the many reasons why I love him too. I love in season six when the new Chief asks him after being annoyed by Provenza how old he is. Without hesitation or care he answers "Six Chiefs and Counting". Zero care that this is his new boss.

Yeah I always loved Provenza, he wouldn’t bow to the bosses or anyone. He was the real centerpiece of the show IMO, technically Brenda and Sharon were the 2 leads but Provenza was the real star of the show IMO, the one character with whom the show couldn’t exist without, there were so many awesome characters throughout the series but the only one that the show couldn’t exist without is Provenza, he was the real star IMO.

[andromeda331]

10 minutes ago, Xeliou66 said:

Yeah I always loved Provenza, he wouldn’t bow to the bosses or anyone. He was the real centerpiece of the show IMO, technically Brenda and Sharon were the 2 leads but Provenza was the real star of the show IMO, the one character with whom the show couldn’t exist without, there were so many awesome characters throughout the series but the only one that the show couldn’t exist without is Provenza, he was the real star IMO.

He was an awesome character. He was funny and sarcastic for the most time, acting like he really didn't care about the job or anyone. His 'I don't run'. But he was very good at stepping up. Like when he ordered Daniels and Gabriel to transfer out of the unit. Everyone else was pretty much ignoring the problem. But he took care of it which surprised everyone. He messed up a lot. But showed him being a good cop. Recognizing the hair looked similar in the second episode of the show. Or when he realized that Taylor was going to get a confession from the drug dealer and got the tapes from the grocery store that proved the alibi.  Even though it was technically illegal. I liked that he tried to continue the funeral for his cop friend for his widow and children.  Also his mocking Brenda with the awesome scene of him giving out orders in his version of her accent and sayings. Brenda coming up behind him gives her orders but lets him finish. It was so funny.

[Xeliou66]

3 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

He was an awesome character. He was funny and sarcastic for the most time, acting like he really didn't care about the job or anyone. His 'I don't run'. But he was very good at stepping up. Like when he ordered Daniels and Gabriel to transfer out of the unit. Everyone else was pretty much ignoring the problem. But he took care of it which surprised everyone. He messed up a lot. But showed him being a good cop. Recognizing the hair looked similar in the second episode of the show. Or when he realized that Taylor was going to get a confession from the drug dealer and got the tapes from the grocery store that proved the alibi.  Even though it was technically illegal. I liked that he tried to continue the funeral for his cop friend for his widow and children.  Also his mocking Brenda with the awesome scene of him giving out orders in his version of her accent and sayings. Brenda coming up behind him gives her orders but lets him finish. It was so funny.

The depth of Provenza’s character is one reason why I love him so much. He can be both an insensitive self centered jerk but also an incredibly kind and compassionate guy. 

Major Crimes really gave Provenza a chance to shine all around, we saw his detective skills a lot more, we saw them some on The Closer as from the examples you mentioned above, but on Major Crimes we saw it much more on a regular basis whereas he was used for comic relief more on The Closer, we also saw his leadership ability a lot more on Major Crimes as he lead the team in the field the majority of the time, Provenza was always awesome on The Closer but got to shine even more on Major Crimes.

[Xeliou66]

The whole episode Saving Face is hilarious, but the funniest part is Pope’s rant at Brenda at the start “The father of the bride, who has money coming out of his, whatever, you choose an orifice, is threatening a major lawsuit, Ray Hodge’s relatives are furious and what could’ve been just a minor embarrassment is now a complete disaster. Oh and congratulations Chief Johnson, you’ve just become the most downloaded fully clothed woman on the internet!”. Makes me laugh out loud every time I watch the episode, arguably the funniest scene in the show’s history, and it’s made even funnier by Taylor bursting out laughing at Pope’s rant. 

And then when Brenda asks Pope how it’s her fault, Pope responds “Well, three words. Flynn and Provenza!” 

And then later on when they are all eating the wedding food and Provenza says “Nothing tastes better than someone else’s wedding cake. My own tasted like prison food”. And it was hilarious to watch everyone devouring the wedding food while watching the interviews, including Pope and Taylor. 

[Xeliou66]

From The Round File 

Provenza to Gabriel who had just returned from suspension and is going back into the interrogation room “There’s no need to beat information out of this old man; he’s been confessing all morning”. Loved Gabriel getting taken down a peg, he was such a smug sanctimonious prick. 

And then at the nursing home when they are examining the suspect’s room and Provenza is solemnly contemplating how people wind up there, Sanchez quips “Don’t worry Lieutenant, I’ll come visit you”. Very funny moment, like I say, Sanchez and Provenza were always great together, I loved their relationship. 

Also funny was Sanchez not knowing who Rumplestilskin was when Brenda nicknamed the old suspect that, saying “Tao, what’s a Rumplestilskin” and Tao was sort of amused Julio had never heard of the story.  

This is one of my favorite episodes, interesting case, I really liked the former newspaper reporter who brought the nursing home deaths to the police’s attention, he was a cool character and I liked how him and Provenza became friends, it’s another episode where we see Provenza’s compassionate side, Brenda’s chaos with the fax machine was funny, there was less of Gabriel than in most early season episodes, and on an interesting note it was the first appearance of Dr Morales, he replaced Dr Crippen, I don’t remember if they ever explained why Crippen left, I know he was in a wheelchair in his appearances at the start of season 3 but I can’t remember if they ever said what was wrong with him, I will watch for the as I continue to rewatch the episodes.

[andromeda331]

8 hours ago, Xeliou66 said:

From The Round File 

Provenza to Gabriel who had just returned from suspension and is going back into the interrogation room “There’s no need to beat information out of this old man; he’s been confessing all morning”. Loved Gabriel getting taken down a peg, he was such a smug sanctimonious prick. 

And then at the nursing home when they are examining the suspect’s room and Provenza is solemnly contemplating how people wind up there, Sanchez quips “Don’t worry Lieutenant, I’ll come visit you”. Very funny moment, like I say, Sanchez and Provenza were always great together, I loved their relationship. 

Also funny was Sanchez not knowing who Rumplestilskin was when Brenda nicknamed the old suspect that, saying “Tao, what’s a Rumplestilskin” and Tao was sort of amused Julio had never heard of the story.  

This is one of my favorite episodes, interesting case, I really liked the former newspaper reporter who brought the nursing home deaths to the police’s attention, he was a cool character and I liked how him and Provenza became friends, it’s another episode where we see Provenza’s compassionate side, Brenda’s chaos with the fax machine was funny, there was less of Gabriel than in most early season episodes, and on an interesting note it was the first appearance of Dr Morales, he replaced Dr Crippen, I don’t remember if they ever explained why Crippen left, I know he was in a wheelchair in his appearances at the start of season 3 but I can’t remember if they ever said what was wrong with him, I will watch for the as I continue to rewatch the episodes.

That was another really good episode. I love Provenza's remark to Gabriel its so Provenza.  The lady at the front desk when they go to the nursing home assuming Provenza was a future patient. Provenza and Flynn's early theory of the crime. The former reporter was so cool. Watching Provenza when their talking to the man's son I wondered if that's how his relationship is with his own children or with his father. At the end of the scene Provenza simply tells him that his father is here if he wanted to see him.  I loved Brenda the end telling the murderer how prison really isn't that different from Summerview.   "It's not that different from Summerview really. You have to sign in to visit people, friends and relatives tend to forget you exist and at some point the State of California might just put you out of your misery." I love Sanchez's comment about throwing some carpet in the garage and everyone is welcomed.

[Xeliou66]

I loved Brenda’s takedown of the killer at the end, what an absolute piece of shit he was, for sure one of the worst villains in the history of this franchise, greedy heartless evil filth, Brenda taking him down was great. 

The former newspaper reporter was an awesome character and I loved his relationship with Provenza, he was one of my favorite one time characters in the franchise. 

Provenza was awesome as always in this one, another one of his great episodes from The Closer, I liked seeing him with the reporter and with the reporter’s son, I think Provenza could relate that relationship to his relationship with his own children or perhaps his father, whom he never once mentioned. 

Sanchez’ comment about throwing carpet on the garage instead of sending old people to the nursing home was funny, as was his quip about coming to visit Provenza. Julio could be very funny at times, we didn’t get to see it a lot, he was usually very serious but he had a good sense of humor as well.

[Xeliou66]

From Blindsided

Brenda and Pope are discussing Brenda being put on leave after shooting the serial killer in the previous episode and when Pope informs her we get this

Brenda “Well that is just nuts!”

Pope “According to the department shrink, so are you” 

And then at the start of Culture Shock we get one of the funniest scenes in the show’s history between Provenza and Tao where Provenza is trying to quiet the crowd in Chinatown and when Tao gets there Provenza is glad to see him and tells him to tell the crowd to calm down and step back and Tao then screams loudly “Calm down and step back!” and Provenza is surprised that Tao doesn’t speak Chinese and Tao replies that he’s 4th generation American and Provenza responds “Well you always sound fluent when we order to take-out!” Hilarious scene. 

And then when Pope delivers this rant at Brenda “This may surprise you, but in some cultures, supervisors are still shown a modicum of respect and employees actually try to please the boss, so lose the attitude, see this guy gets his damn camera back, I don’t need any more grief from the Chinese consul and I definitely don’t need it from you! Please tell me I didn’t just say all that in front of your parents!” Everyone’s reactions are hilarious, especially those of Brenda’s parents who meet Pope for the first time after that tirade, and then Brenda’s dad spilling the beans about Brenda and Fritz’s wedding and Pope’s awkward reaction, Pope could be one of the funniest characters and his deadpan delivery was perfect.

[Bastet]

38 minutes ago, Xeliou66 said:

Brenda “Well that is just nuts!”

Pope “According to the department shrink, so are you”

I think that's one of the first quotes I posted in this thread, I love that exchange so much. 

When I watched the franchise via DVD, I liked The Closer, started getting tired of it, then Sharon Raydor came along and I perked up again, and then I fell in such total love with Major Crimes that I nearly forgot The Closer had ever even existed, but there are some moments from the original series that may remain in my memories forever, and many of them involve Brenda and Pope.  Their dynamic was hilarious.

[Xeliou66]

10 minutes ago, Bastet said:

I think that's one of the first quotes I posted in this thread, I love that exchange so much. 

When I watched the franchise via DVD, I liked The Closer, started getting tired of it, then Sharon Raydor came along and I perked up again, and then I fell in such total love with Major Crimes that I nearly forgot The Closer had ever even existed, but there are some moments from the original series that may remain in my memories forever, and many of them involve Brenda and Pope.  Their dynamic was hilarious.

Pope was hilarious, I missed him on Major Crimes, his humor added a lot to the show and his relationship with Brenda was interesting. 

The Closer vs Major Crimes is interesting, I think I preferred Major Crimes because it was a true ensemble where everyone was involved whereas The Closer was frequently all Brenda and Gabriel, and Gabriel was a self righteous douchebag who was hard to stomach, no Gabriel was a big improvement for Major Crimes. However, The Closer was funnier, MC didn’t have as much humor, Brenda and Pope added a lot and also Flynn became way too soft and nice by the end and Julio became overly polite and serious, he was more humorous on The Closer. Both shows were awesome and the core cast of Provenza, Tao, Sanchez and Flynn made the franchise, but I think Major Crimes is slightly superior aside from the disappointing final season.

[andromeda331]

I've always preferred the Closer over Major Crimes. The Closer was funny and fun at times I loved seeing Brenda's reactions to things. I loved Fritz, Kitty and Joel. I love the entire show. Provenza, Flynn, Julio, Tao, Daniels, Buzz, Morales, Raydor, Pope, Gabriel when he wasn't being a jerk.  I really tried to get into Major Crimes but never really did. I loved seeing more of the guys and their life. I love that Provenza found love. But I could never warm up to Sharon like I did to her on the Closer. The show wasn't as funny as the Closer. Flynn becoming softer and dating Sharon didn't feel in character nor for her. They didn't feel like they went together and I didn't see any chemistry.  I hated Rusty. No matter how hard I tried I hated him. I didn't like how they were always incerting him into cases or how never seemed to care about anyone but himself. His needs, his blog, who cares how Buzz felt, and no one ever called him on it.        

[Xeliou66]

13 hours ago, andromeda331 said:

I've always preferred the Closer over Major Crimes. The Closer was funny and fun at times I loved seeing Brenda's reactions to things. I loved Fritz, Kitty and Joel. I love the entire show. Provenza, Flynn, Julio, Tao, Daniels, Buzz, Morales, Raydor, Pope, Gabriel when he wasn't being a jerk.  I really tried to get into Major Crimes but never really did. I loved seeing more of the guys and their life. I love that Provenza found love. But I could never warm up to Sharon like I did to her on the Closer. The show wasn't as funny as the Closer. Flynn becoming softer and dating Sharon didn't feel in character nor for her. They didn't feel like they went together and I didn't see any chemistry.  I hated Rusty. No matter how hard I tried I hated him. I didn't like how they were always incerting him into cases or how never seemed to care about anyone but himself. His needs, his blog, who cares how Buzz felt, and no one ever called him on it.        

It’s interesting, I love both shows for different reasons. Both shows were great for the cases and the chemistry of the squad, but both had their own strengths. The Closer had excellent humor, way funnier than Major Crimes, and I liked Pope and what he added, whereas Major Crimes had much more focus on everyone solving cases and not just the lead, I loved the focus Provenza got on Major Crimes, the whole squad got much more focus, Sykes was a huge improvement over Gabriel, Gabriel was such a self righteous dick and it didn’t help that he got way more screen time than the others, Daniels was cool at first but then she starting banging Gabriel whom she had no chemistry with, she had more chemistry with Julio than Gabriel, and that relationship ruined her character, I did like having more members of the squad when Daniels was around, one reason I liked when they added Nolan to Major Crimes to get another member on the squad. 

I agree about hating Rusty, he was awful, whiny, obnoxious and self centered, he added nothing to the show. Flynn became way too soft by the end I agree, the Flynn/Raydor romance was a poor idea and it wound up dragging down the show and I hated how Flynn became so nice, and I also missed Sanchez’ humor, he was still awesome but he was more serious as the seasons went on. Brenda and Sharon were about the same for me, I liked both of them overall but they could both be irritating, Sharon with her uprightness and devotion to the rules and her ultra black and white view on things and Brenda with how loose she was with the rules and how she would manipulate others.  Overall both shows were awesome.

Edited March 14, 2018 by Xeliou66

[Xeliou66]

From Next of Kin, lots of hilarious quotes

When Brenda and Fritz are selling their house and they get a bid for $20,000 over the asking price but the buyer wants Fritz’ baseball pyramid and Brenda is hesitant, Fritz says “For $20;000 over asking, I’d part with you”. 

Pope and Taylor are discussing the case and Taylor is irritated about getting taken off the case and says they should’ve staked out the prime suspects house longer after they didn’t capture him, Pope quips “by longer, do you mean another 11 months”. And then when Pope asks Buzz to do background on their suspects and Buzz asks about the spelling of Chamblee, the still pissed off Taylor snarls “Who knows, it’s Georgia”. Taylor could be quite funny in his interactions with Pope and Brenda, he occasionally added humor on Major Crimes but not as much as his interactions with Pope and Brenda. 

Provenza arriving at the crime scene : “I was 5 brats away from getting my grandson a picture with Santa Claus, this better be good!”.

The suspect Wesley telling Brenda to go back to working at Hooters and then kicking out the window of the car was funny as well. 

And then the funniest quote of the episode, when Provenza is having an allergic reaction to the Christmas decorations in Brenda’s parents RV, Flynn quips “He’s allergic to Christmas. What a surprise!”. 

The episode overall is one of the show’s funniest, I usually dislike Christmas episodes but this one was hilarious.

[Bastet]

How do I not remember any of that?!  I love the Christmas episodes on this franchise, but none of that rings a bell.  With mention of the RV, is it the one where they're supposed to be bringing back a suspect, but manage to get themselves banned from the plane, so have to trek back in the Johnsons' RV?  I remember that basic storyline, but none of those moments.

Fritz's quote about parting with her for $20k over asking is great, and I really can't believe that one is gone from my brain.  I should borrow my friend's DVDs again and do a re-watch, but I'd just be antsy to get to the seasons with Sharon.  Maybe I'll watch those, then start over from the beginning.

[Xeliou66]

Yeah the suspect starts screaming that he has a bomb at the Atlanta airport so Provenza and Flynn get banned from the flight and have to bring him back to the Johnson’s and they take him to LA in their RV. Hilarious episode all around, Provenza/Flynn are always awesome, and Fritz and Brenda dealing with her parents was funny as well, Clay’s reactions to having a fugitive wrecking havoc in his house and RV was very funny. Great episodes. 

[Xeliou66]

Some hilarious Provenza moments from Live Wire

When Brenda sends, Provenza, Flynn and Sanchez to search the properties the real estate agent victim had access to to find the video camera that might’ve recorded his murder, Provenza starts venting about having to search all the properties and Flynn quips “What’s the matter, your Medicare shoes don’t like to walk uphill” and Provenza responds “One of them’s about to walk up your ass!” and they begin to get into each other’s faces, and Sanchez has to separate them, and then Flynn puts the car keys under his chin and says he using his head as an antenna and asks Sanchez if he wants to try it, and the puzzled Julio just replies “um, no thank you”, and Flynn says that he read that it can increase the range and Sanchez replies “I don’t care” while the exasperated Provenza covers his face in his hands. Very funny scene. 

And then Brenda walking in on Provenza and Buzz eating snacks while watching Gabriel and Daniels fight in the interrogation room and when Brenda says to please tell them they didn’t record that, Provenza just replies “unfortunately, no”. And after Brenda is irritated with Provenza and Buzz and then leaves the room, Provenza bursts out laughing. 

I love a lot of things about that episode, we get to see Provenza’s strong observation skills when he ID’s the unique shoe the victim was wearing and tracks down his identity from it, I love seeing the always self righteous Gabriel get in the doghouse after his unprofessional behavior with Daniels and Brenda calling him out when he says Daniels should be the one to transfer out, I like how Tao is the one who works closely with Brenda on this case and not Gabriel, it’s nice to see things get switched up some and seeing the under appreciated but awesome Tao get focus, and I like Fritz finally exploding at the end on Brenda after she manipulated him for her own agenda again, that was one of my least favorite things about Brenda is how she manipulated Fritz constantly and I was glad to see Fritz finally have enough of her bullshit and blow on her, she deserved it frankly after the numerous times she had Fritz use his position in the FBI to help Brenda advance her own agenda and would frequently mislead Fritz about her goal. 

Edited March 20, 2018 by Xeliou66

[Xeliou66]

One line that always makes me laugh from Dial M For Provenza (a very funny episode all the way around) is when the husband is screaming at the wife about how she got the money to pay Provenza to kill him and the wife responds “I entered your picture in the ugly contest and you won the grand prize!”. Makes me laugh out loud every time, hilarious line.

Brenda explaining the situation to Pope and Pope breaking out laughing at then saying “you’re kidding, right?” was funny, Pope always had great lines and his reactions to Provenza and Flynn’s antics were always fun to watch.

And of course Provenza barging in to Brenda’s office and grabbing the picture of her mother to show to the guy who stole his car to trick him into confessing while Pope and Brenda stood their puzzled was awesome.

After Provenza says that he wants to go find the punks that stole his car and kick their asses, Brenda begins her response with “as much as I would like to see break your own record for procedural violations in a single shift!”

Another terrific episode from season 4, another great Provenza story, you can see how much Provenza actually cares about his job with how upset he is when he thinks he will get fired and them him telling Pope how he will never quit at the end was a great scene. 

[Bastet]

Pope: Where is she [Brenda]?  [Grousing about keeping a VIP waiting.]
Gabriel: She's having a personal crisis.
Pope: Yeah, it's called her life.

[Bastet]

I like this on its own, but mostly as the first of what will become a recurring conversation that amuses me far more than I ever thought it would have:

Brenda: My cat had kittens, and I have to go pick him up, because every minute he spends at the vet is costing me a million dollars.

Fritz: Your boy cat had kittens?

Brenda: [Explanation of how she thought it was a male.]  I'm worried about him.

Fritz: Her.  You’re worried about her.

[shapeshifter]

On April 18, 2015 at 9:15 PM, shapeshifter said:

S2 E5 "To Protect and Serve"

Brenda [to Provenza]: Just. Go home!!

Provenza: Is that how they say "you're fired" in The South?

Brenda Leigh: Your garage is a crime scene, Lieutenant Provenza. Go home!

Re-airing now on Start TV (Thank yew, Start!).
This line never gets old: 
[Provenza]: Is that how they say "you're fired" in The South?

[andromeda331]

11 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Re-airing now on Start TV (Thank yew, Start!).
This line never gets old: 
[Provenza]: Is that how they say "you're fired" in The South?

No, it doesn't.