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Small Talk: Chili's


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I think Uzo Aduba (Suzanne/Crazy Eyes) is gorgeous and sexy and has the ideal body

 

Samira Wiley is easily the most beautiful member of the cast

 

Ruby Rose is ridiculously hot

 

 

I had this conversation with the LiberryLord a few weeks ago:

 

LLord: There's a picture of your girlfriend Piper in this magazine.

Me: Piper is not my girlfriend.  She's NOBODY'S favorite.

LLord: Why?

Me: She's so boring. There's so many more interesting characters.

LLord: So who's your favorite?

Me:  Poussey.

LLord: Pous...sey?

Me:  It's French, bitch!

 

I believe, down there in the fine print, I get approvals on the dance team uniforms. I'm just sayin'.

 

 

Heeeee!  Now I'm imagining King of Birds in bright spandex, with his face all painted.  I WILL DONATE AAAALL THE MONEY TO MAKE "WINGS" HAPPEN!!

 

Welcome, Prodigal Daughter/Liberry Lady. We got up to lots of mischief while you were away. I hope you were similarly engaged.

 

I earned my teaching credential.  I've been saying that while getting my BA was like a 5K Fun Run, getting the credential the past year and a half was like an Iron Man Marathon.

 

I will now share my favorite story from this year.  I was showing the kinder/first grade class a short YouTube video on the overhead on naked mole rats, and I thought I had turned off the computer. HOWEVER, YouTube decided to roll over to "You might also be interested in..." accompanied by the image below. I threw myself at the computer to turn it off like I was trying to protect my platoon from a grenade, and fortunately A) my teacher didn't notice what was going on, and B) no students asked me why the giraffes were playing leapfrog.

 

giraffe%20words_zps3fsyj787.jpg

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Those recommended videos on youtube are totally dangerous. I can't remember exactly what it was, but there was definitely a time when I showed a youtube video in class and one of the recommended ones that popped up afterward was inappropriate. Though not giraffe sex inappropriate.

 

But that's not nearly as bad as the time one of the other teachers in my department projected a straight-up porn site on the screen. She already had the projector on and typed in the url for a site she wanted to show (it was something about the human body if I remember correctly), but by either adding or leaving out a "the" she ended up at a porn site*. And that's not the sort of thing that is going to escape the attention of a bunch of fifteen-year-olds.

 

*A site which should have been blocked on the network, clearly. I'm forever clicking links and getting a message that the site has been blocked for the reason of "pornography", even though the link had nothing to do with porn. But apparently actual porn sites? No problem. There was another time when a different coworker of mine went to talk to the tech person at the school to ask how to block porn sites on her home computer and he started out by saying that of course porn sites would be blocked at work. To demonstrate, he typed in some super obvious porn url, and sure enough it loaded just fine. 

 

LLord: There's a picture of your girlfriend Piper in this magazine.

Me: Piper is not my girlfriend.  She's NOBODY'S favorite.

I think Piper might be my best friend's favorite, but if so it's mostly because she's totally hot for Taylor Schilling.

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Though not giraffe sex inappropriate.

 

I've told my student teacher cohort that I'm using "giraffe sex" as shorthand for inappropriate school happenings.  ("I was having trouble with the computer and muttered 'What the hell?" under my breath, when I noticed one of the students had quietly come up behind me.  It was a total giraffe sex moment.") 

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Man, I tell ya. Some days you just want to invent a device that allows you to stretch your arm like Mr Fantastic 4 and your hand shoots out miles and grabs the idiot you're dealing with on the other end of the line, and you grab their head and fling them all super-power like up into the atmosphere ... and they drift and land in the ocean or on a bungalow somewhere - unfortunately injuring others - but the idiot you're talking to is dead.  And it's a good thing.

 

Right?

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down there in the fine print

I know this isn't what you meant, but I think I am going to start referring to the downstairs jungle regions as "the fine print" for now on.

And I wish I didn't know what you mean about this

just want to invent a device that allows you to ...

but I've had quite a few of those days recently, and it's starting to make me doubt the wisdom of not being either a misanthropic recluse or a feral vigilante. It's like most of me still clings to the idea that either option is completely nuts, but then this other part of me says: not even just a little bit?

Sanity is a mixed blessing.

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Heeeee!  Now I'm imagining King of Birds in bright spandex, with his face all painted.  I WILL DONATE AAAALL THE MONEY TO MAKE "WINGS" HAPPEN!!

Ya know LL, you TOTALLY missed my point. It's not ME in the bright spandex, it's the JetPack Cheerleader Wings™  Squad in some provocative risque outfits. The type that put the rawr rawr in the engine, ifyuknowhutImean.  IT'S IN THE FINE PRINT.

 

Of course, I'm dealing with a reply from someone who feels compelled to tell the world about giraffe sexy time.

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Well my power went out.. it's -6 over night tonight and now we're huddled on the couch under a blanket waiting for it come back on.

 

They estimate 2 hrs at this point, 2 hours! Our internet is only going to last so long!

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(edited)

Well my power went out.. it's -6 over night tonight and now we're huddled on the couch under a blanket waiting for it come back on.

 

They estimate 2 hrs at this point, 2 hours! Our internet is only going to last so long!

 

Brrr!  I hope your power has come back on!  Funny how it never goes out when it's nice weather.

 

I bought my first item for the upcoming Presidential campaign:

 

https://www.threadless.com/product/6590/No_More_Blockheads/style,design

 

I figure that should cover it.

 

ETA: Okay, it's not letting me insert HTML manually (TWSS!), so you're stuck with the ugly link.

Edited by MichelleAK
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I was thinking the same.. if it were middle of summer it would have still been light outside.

In the end it was off for about an hr, our UPS ran out of power and the router died... 5 seconds before the power came back on. 5 seconds! So close.

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Our internet is only going to last so long!

You handled this all wrong, Kalliste. Okay so you post your original post, ending with your line above.

 

THEN, like 15 minutes later, you post something like "Down to -4 now. Pipes might freeze. Do I have enough water in the fridge? BF won't get out from snuggling to check. We're "keeping warm" (nudge nudge wink wink)"

 

Ten minutes - another post. "OMFG I left the bonsai outside again! Is it worth it to go out and retrieve? I guess so. Back in a few"

 

30 min later- "Saved the bonsai. There was a weird noise when I was outside, freaked me out. Sounded like a ... some stretching noise, and I swear I thought a giant hand tried to grab my head or something. WTH right? Reconsidering relationship w BF as he wouldn't get up to rescue the bonsai for me."

 

15 min later- "FREAKING OUT. Only a bar left on the cell, router is blinking. We're out of water. Bigfoot is outside the door, I SWEAR. We both heard some growling noise. I told the BF, "you go check that way, I'll go this way" ... he never came back!  I'm gonna die tonight! Is the world ending, and if so, why am I posting to PTV?"

 

And then... nothing. You don't post for like, a week. Or a month.

 

Everyone here wakes up and reads the posts and a few think it's a prank, others think you're dead.

 

Then, soon after, a poster named etsillak signs on, and informs us all Kalliste is dead, but you've come back to haunt everyone who makes fun of Aussies. That's most of the world, so general riots start and the zombie infestation begins!

 

So- you see? Handled it ALL WRONG.

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The 5 seconds, when you didn't know if the power was coming back right away or never was the worst part of the entire experience, though, right? I find the not knowing when it's coming back to be the worst part of outages.

 

KoB, I want to know what your costume for "Wings" will look like.

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I'm cool with that. I was worried you'd be anti-sequin.

 

Now I can't decide if I want an Elvis outfit, or if I want to be dressed as a bat. My original concept involved sequins and feathers, but I hadn't gotten farther than that. Could we also do a number dressed as eagles?

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Lol KoB that sounds like far too much effort :P Plus then I'd have to be away from you all for at least a week. I can't stay away that long.. what is chaos happens?

 

And yes, possibilities.. it was a thought of "well.. what now? POWER YAY!" and then running to turn on the heater :P

 

I'd be happy with them being dressed as flying monkeys with jetpacks.

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Now I can't decide if I want an Elvis outfit, or if I want to be dressed as a bat. My original concept involved sequins and feathers, but I hadn't gotten farther than that. Could we also do a number dressed as eagles?

 

I like it!  Mix it up!

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I've been eavesdropping here a little while but finally had to post to say that a few minutes ago, I saw a jet-packer in the ocean off Ka'anapali Beach, Maui, and the first thing I thought of was this thread and KoB.

Now that I've so unceremoniously butted in, let me introduce myself. I've lived on O'ahu for about nine years after many years in the Midwest. I'm the pettiest (no, not prettiest, autocorrect) of bureaucrats, having worked in State and local government for most of my life. I'm pretty old, but I feel pretty young. I didn't decide to watch The Office until the 4th season but caught up via TBS reruns and then gave up about halfway through the next to last season. I love Person of Interest, Brooklyn Nine Nine, The Amazing Race, and don't hate much of anything. My current favorite word is schadenfreude, especially applied to Donald Trump, that woman who wrote the Shades of Gray books, and my supervisor, who constantly changes our processes against our recommendations, only to have things repeatedly blow up in her face.

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Babalu, you sound so non-grouchy, I'm impressed. Welcome, and pull up a wing.

 

I think you are not the only one who gave up on The Office before it ended. The best stuff was in the beginning and middle, I think, anyway.

 

B99 is one of my favorite shows right now. I even watch the reruns.

 

I also like TAR, though not as much as I used to. Like The Office, I think TAR's glory days have faded and the best times were earlier in its run.

 

I like your jumping lamb. It reminds me of a friend of mine, who is a child of Obatala.

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Thank you, possibilities! Except I had to look up Obatala, AND I'M ON VACATION HERE. I do agree about The Amazing Race, but I've gone to a bunch of TARcons and made many dear friends, so it will always have a special place in my affections.

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Another lurker spills from the bushes! Welcome Babalu.

 

I saw a jet-packer in the ocean off Ka'anapali Beach, Maui, and the first thing I thought of was this thread and KoB.

This shall be my enduring legacy.  "Here lies KoB. He was a jetpack fanatic."

 

And to all- Happy 4th!  Me, it's 6pm and I'm inside, got the AC on, with 3 fans and the TV on for general white noise, and ready to endure once again, a night of my general neighborhood being pretend fireworks specialists. Fed the dog and smooshed a portion of benedryl into some yummy chicken. I hate to do it but I just want to take the edge off her freak-out tonight. If this was only one night a year, I'd think differently but around here this shit goes on for 6-8 weeks, from Memorial Day thru July, and then resurrects around New Years. But tonight will be The Wo-oooooorrrrrssssttttt!

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Welcome, Babalu! I've spent plenty of time on Ka'anapali Beach as my in-laws live in Kihei.

 

Speaking of schadenfreude and EL James, I'm sure by now everyone is aware of the Twitter Q&A fiasco she opened herself up to. While I found it amusing, there were a few things that struck me. First off, who are people really angry at; her, or the people who bought her books? You can abuse her all you want for giggles on Twitter, but that woman is crying (or laughing) all the way to the bank, and the only reason her stuff got published is because it was ridiculously popular as fanfic. If she didn't have a ready and waiting audience, her dreck would never have gotten any further than most fanfic ever does. Yes, her writing sucks. Yes, she sends a horrible message in her writing. But she's really getting the last laugh, isn't she? She's filthy rich and will never have to worry about money for the rest of her life. So, while everyone is feeling smug that she got attacked and made a fool of, she's still got more money than 20 of me will see in my lifetime. As an aspiring writer, that makes me sick and frankly, jealous.  

 

I'm having a really boring 4th of July. My husband is in Peru, and nobody invited me and the kids over to party. Boo hoo. I'm just going to sit here and feel sorry for myself.

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Now I'm wondering how many lurkers we have that read our conversations but rarely join in. How many of you are there? It sort of makes me feel like we're in a reality show and apparently KoB and his jetpack obsession is the highlight of the show :P

 

I wonder if the lurkers wish they could vote me out.

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It was a mellow 4th for me as well. They do it up big here in DC, so I try to avoid it. Our 4th tradition is to go down with friends to the Capitol Fourth concert rehearsal on the 3rd. It's all the same acts- and you don't have to arrive 6 hours early to find a spot to sit. No  fireworks show, but it's a fun concert and much more enjoyable, and the kids can actually run around and dance to the music without getting lost in the crowd.

*sigh* I'm getting old.

 

Hey, anyone discovering any good TV during the slow summer season? I just discovered Terriers and its really good!

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Hey, anyone discovering any good TV during the slow summer season? I just discovered Terriers and its really good!

 

I've been watching The Americans and Parks and Rec, I'd recommend either of them if you haven't watched them before.

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(edited)

Never heard of Terriers. Off to IMDB!

 

I know I'm not a lurker, but I do read everything here and not comment or contribute a lot of the time because I'm on my iPad and it's a pain in the ass to post using my iPad. This weekend I've been on my laptop, hence my increased participation.  Anyway, I wonder how many lurkers are lurkers just because it's too much of a pain in the ass to post using a tablet.

Edited by Pixel
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It was a mellow 4th for me as well.

 

I'm having a really boring 4th of July.

It was fuckin' Fallujah over here. Seriously, almost 4 hours straight of illegal fireworks. I wish I had just put a camera out back to record all the noise. Crazy. I doped the dog too early, she was flat out conked out for the hour before all the serious shit started. She was shaking so much I had a hard time putting on the thundercoat thing. All the fans/ AC/ TV noise didn't help. If I haven't had to be working Fri- part of the 4th- today, I was planning on getting the hell out of here.

 

What's depressing is the LAPD and LAFD promised to be in the area and try to cut down, but ... if they were around then I'm shocked.

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Yikes, King of Birds, that sounds awful!  Our PD was also supposed to be out in force, due to this year's dry summer, but I'm not sure it was even necessary this year.

 

It's generally really loud with illegal fireworks here, too, but due to the extreme fire warnings for the entire middle of the state, the sole legal fireworks stand within driving distance has been closed all season, making it nearly impossible to get fireworks.  Even the official fireworks display was canceled. I heard a couple of loud firecrackers (probably left over from New Year's), and then blissful silence all night.  I have to say, it didn't break my heart.

 

I pretty much just watched tennis, read a book, and otherwise took it easy yesterday.  I didn't go out at all.  I do have to go to the grocery store today, and then to the gym, but am not doing anything interesting.

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We used to refer to our old neighborhood as a war zone during the 4th of July and New Year's Eve, too, King of Birds. Fireworks all night, and we'd wake up to smoke-filled and debris-strewn yard and streets. People would hose down their roof through the night to try to prevent fires.

Pixel - I'm on an iPad, too; it's not hard to post, but I can't use bold/italics and the quote function is irritating; think this is being corrected with the upgrade.

I've heard really good things about The Americans. I'm currently watching Friday Night Lights and Breaking Bad, but I think everyone in the world other than me has probably already seen them. Also, Orange is the New Black, season 3, which I know some of you have finished, So You Think You Can Dance, Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell, and True Detective (not sure if I'll stick with it, though).

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Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell

Ooh, I haven't started watching that yet, but I've DVRed it. Is it good? I love the book. I've read it twice, and for a slow-ass reader like me that's kind of a big deal considering the length of the book (I rarely reread books. I mean, other than Harry Potter.)

 

As for shows I've watched recently or am watching now:

Sense8--This is a Netflix show that I really thoroughly enjoyed. It's a sci-fi show that's a little hard to explain succinctly, but it centers around a group of eight people from all over the world who are part of a "cluster" of sensates, meaning they're linked in a way that they can sort of psychically...associate? (blanking on a good word here--it's more than just communicating). It took me a few episodes to really get into, but then once I did I just found it a really fun viewing experience. My one gripe would be that there were a couple of episodes that I found excessively violent, which is something I just don't love. 

 

Happy Valley--This is a show from last year, but I just watched it last week. It's a British show that's primarily about a kidnapping, but it deals a lot with the life of one particular police woman and her history, and also with how drugs affects the town. To this point there is only one season and six episodes, so it wasn't a big undertaking and I found it very engrossing. It's fairly dark and depressing, though, so not exactly fun. It's on Netflix.

 

Wentworth--This is not new viewing for me, but it's on my mind because it recently finished its third season and I just dig it a lot and I think most people haven't seen it. It's an Australian show about a women's prison. It begins when one woman, Bea, enters the prison after attempting to murder her husband, but then throughout the three seasons it deals with interactions and politics within the prison between prisoners, guards, etc. The natural comparison to make with shows people here already watch is OITNB, but Wentworth isn't billed as a comedy, so in general it's a much more straightforward drama. Really more of a (good) soap opera set in prison. The first two seasons are on Netflix.

 

Oh, and on the recommendation of Tara Ariana on a recent episode of Extra Hot Great I am also watching The Crimson Field, which is a British mini-series currently airing on PBS about nurses at a field hospital in the first world war. I don't really have an opinion about it yet (after two episodes), but it's a female-centric period series so I'm on board. 

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I've been watching season two of Masters of Sex, and I have to say I feel like I've had enough of Lizzie Caplan's boobs.  I'm not a boob-hater... it just seems like since this is a cable show, they have a maximum number of script pages between boob-sightings.  ("Two pages since the last booooobs!  Who's taking of their shirt for this scene?")  I know it's a show about sex, but c'mon:  where's the peen? THERE IS ZERO PEEN ON A SHOW ABOUT SEX RESEARCHERS!

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I have yet to get tired of Lizzie Caplan's boobs, but I'm with you on the peen, LL

 

And oh yeah, you've just reminded me that season 3 of Masters of Sex starts soon, which I'm excited about. 

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I just got the first disk of the first season of Masters of Sex, from Netflix. Yes, an actual plastic disk. Haven't had time to watch yet. I saw LC interviewed on "Off Camera with Sam Jones" and she talked about the process of filming, how she felt being exposed a lot (boobs are the least of it, from what I gather?). It was interesting.

 

 

I bet they don't show peen because they can't get the actors they want, to sign contracts agreeing to do it.

 

 

Fireworks used to be fun to watch, but after seeing what they do to animals, including the dog I grew up with, I now dread them. It's been a big topic of conversation around here, about how to get people to stop setting off illegal fireworks, or at least give animal caregivers warning beforehand, but so far no solutions. The air is horrible today-- filled with smoke, and I'm worried some numbskull may have set off a fire somewhere because no way this is just the residue from blasts that went off last night. It's too bad, because they are cool to look at, but it's not worth it for the animal terror, and especially when it's not done with fire safety in mind.

 

 

If we want to drive the lurkers into the open, do we need to show our boobs? Or will that just attract more lurkers? TWoP used to have a way you could click to see how many views a page had, but I think they've disabled that function here. I would have thought that we would have to fight more if we really wanted ratings.

 

 

I have been watching documentaries this summer. I have a habit of seeing what they're about, thinking that would be really interesting, recording it, and then not watching. So I have quite a few on my DVR. And they turn out to actually be quite interesting, once I actually watch them. So I have also been looking for currently airing ones.

 

 

There was a recent Frontline called "Growing Up Trans" that was awesome. I think you can stream it on pbs.org for free. The worst thing about documentaries turns out (for me) to be that hardly anyone watches them, and I can almost never find anyone to talk about them with after. Since talking about it is half the fun of TV (for me), that's a bummer. But I have a friend who's interested in trans issues, so at least that one I got to discuss later.

 

 

I also watched something about owls, which was really cool-- they showed the difference between owl flight and hawk or pigeon flight, and why owls are able to be silent and the others aren't, when they fly. Also, owls in the shell learn to recognize the particular sound of their parent's voice and will talk back to them through the shell-- I thought that was cool. Human fetuses will kick, but I has never thought about owls hooting during gestation.

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TWoP used to have a way you could click to see how many views a page had, but I think they've disabled that function here.

You can see how many views a thread has had. It's right next to the thread title and number of replies.

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Edited by smrou
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I just got the first disk of the first season of Masters of Sex, from Netflix. Yes, an actual plastic disk.

 

I watch it on disc, too, possibilities. :) I don't like watching shows on my computer.

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Ha! Thanks for the laugh there, stewedsquash!  I think it's more realistic that I'll have a jetpack before I own a Colorama Coloring book!

 

I can't even imagine coloring in a "paisley" and framing it and giving it to someone. Maybe LL as a gag gift?

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smrou - (did you know that autocorrect changes your name to "amorous"? And should I have put the question mark inside or outside the quotation marks?)

I'm enjoying Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell but have only seen two episodes. My DVR didn't record the 3rd for some reason, and only the first 2 are available On Demand so far. I think you might get even more out of it than I do since you know more about the character and back stories.

I haven't watched Wentworth, but there was a time in the 80's when I was addicted to its precursor, Prisoners of Cellblock H. Someone (maybe you) mentioned on another thread that all episodes are on YouTube, so I watched a few but don't have time to continue.

And for the record, my OITNB girl crush is also Poussey, LiberryLady. Besides her beauty, there's just such radiance that emanates from her/Samira Wiley. I haven't even got to the Ruby Rose episodes yet, though. I've watched 5, so I assume she'll be appearing soon.

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I was just thinking of the Chili's Terminology.  Posters and Lurkers, contribute!

Hateball

Death Chicken

ifyouknowhutimean

thankyouverymuch

SnoCone Patrol

TreeClimbers

the poop barf incident

twopper

cake pops

Jetpacks: A Promise Unfulfilled

 

add on!

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I know Death Chicken but not the others really, at least not as used here. I'll try to catch up via context. Another one is TWSS (used widely but haven't seen it in initialized form anywhere else).

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Fireworks are illegal here.. for a while they were only legal in my state and you had to provide ID with your address but no longer. I miss the cracker nights, granted there were a few times my Dad and I nearly blew our faces off.. one time we had a 44 gallon drum and who knows how much 'fuel' my Dad put in that but he stood back and threw in a match and it made a massive noise and sort of mushroomed, it was crazy. We also made our own crackers with paper tubes filled with gunpowder and wicks. 

 

There was also one night we thought a cracker was a dud so we threw it in the fire.. it was not a dud :P 

 

So yes, we were probably those people you hated :D

 

I'm currently watching Season 2 of Penny Dreadful and am into the 5th season of my That 70's Show rewatch. Anyone else watching/ed Penny Dreadful? I imagine, based on kob's comments that it has the same, if not more boob than OitNB. Just, Victorian era boob.

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My life is complete! "Poop Barf" has made it into the lexicon of Chili's! 

 

Sorry about your dog, KoB. My sister has three dogs and one of hers is terrified of fireworks. I'm lucky that for all the nonsense I put up with in regards to my bulldogs that they're not afraid of storms or fireworks. 

 

We had a small BBQ. Busted out some board games on the patio around 9pm. It was very relaxing. 

 

I'm watching Mr. Robot and HUMANS this summer. I also finally caught up on Game of Thrones over the long weekend. Now, if I could catch up on Outlander I'd be all set. 

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My town moved the fireworks this year. Previously, it had been at a field that we'd have to drive to and the traffic was yuck and you'd have to get there super early and it was crowded etc. This year they moved it to a place closer to me, basically my kids schools. There is an elementary, a middle school and the high school is essentially across a main road from the end of my street. Yes, we could have walked there, but we decided to just watch from the backyard through the trees. I had thought there would have been cars lining my street, but not really. We were comfy, no crowds, the kids had lots of glow sticks, could swim and play in the pool with the fireworks going on. It was fabulous. 

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I'm currently watching Season 2 of Penny Dreadful and am into the 5th season of my That 70's Show rewatch. Anyone else watching/ed Penny Dreadful? I imagine, based on kob's comments that it has the same, if not more boob than OitNB. Just, Victorian era boob.

There be Victorian era boob on Penny Dreadful? Huh. Up til now I had no interest in that show. 

 

I am very very very sorry you're doing a That 70s show rewatch. First season was okay, the rest was a mess.

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