Small Talk: Behavioral Gabbing Unit

[Bookish Jen]

1 hour ago, ReidFan said:

hmmmm I will make one exception. Booky will agree with this one too.... pumpkin spice whipped cream to decorate Matthew with.  O:-)

What do you take me for? Clutches pearls.

On-topic: So cool to find people who like to cook and bake and eat!

[zannej]

I found pumpkin scented febreeze. It smells like pumpkin pie.

Pumpkin oatmeal wasn't very good-- but there the pumpkin pie with graham cracker crust in the frozen section is awesome. I have to check the brand name again-- It was either Sara Lee or Eddies.

I used to grow pumpkins, but I don't do well in the sun or outdoors anymore so the garden is gone.

[Droogie]

1 hour ago, normasm said:

Random pumpkin rumination:

Cornbread with collard greens! And, I don't like sweet cornbread but pumpkin cornbread actually sounds good.

We put canned pumpkin (not pie filling) in our dog's food, for fiber and vitamins.

I love the pumpkin spice everything guinea pigs from last year. Funny!

Collard greens!  Yum-yum.  I don't like sweet cornbread either -- mine is pretty savory.  But that pumpkiny cornbread might work for me as a coffee cake.

16 minutes ago, Bookish Jen said:

What do you take me for? Clutches pearls.

On-topic: So cool to find people who like to cook and bake and eat!

LOL.

And yes, this is like Allrecipes.com, except with sexy avatars.

[zannej]

I LOVE sweet cornbread. I have a sweet tooth though. My favorite combo is sweet and salty. I also like savory cornbread though. I remember one of my schools in California used to have cornbread with hamburger meat and cheese in the middle.

When I get beef stew and rice at a local place I like to mash the cornbread up and mix it in. What they call "stew" is actually more of a sauce given the ratio of liquid to rice.

[secnarf]

I love pumpkin things because they remind me of Thanksgiving, which is my favourite holiday, favourite time of year with the trees being all colourful and beautiful fall weather, and always around my birthday! However, I am totally sick of pumpkin spice lattes.

I went grocery shopping today after work, and saw ravioli filled with pumpkin. They were on sale (though still crazy expensive). I impulse-bought them just for the sheer novelty.

[normasm]

Pumpkin ravioli is divine

[Droogie]

19 minutes ago, normasm said:

Pumpkin ravioli is divine

Well, color me intrigued.  How would you dress those fellers?

[secnarf]

14 minutes ago, Droogie said:

Well, color me intrigued.  How would you dress those fellers?

The package suggests olive oil and parmesean, but since I'm Italian and it's September, I have 50 L of fresh tomato sauce so I plan on using that! Hopefully it turns out okay.

[Willowy]

I... wouldn't put marinara on them. They're very delicately flavored and taste lovely with just a little olive oil or a bit of cream sauce. 

[normasm]

Yes, I agree with Franky, a tomato-based sauce might overwhelm the flavor. I would lightly toast some slivered almonds and toss them with the cooked pasta and a little olive oil and have it win a salad of greens with some fresh tomato in it. Oh, and some shaved Parmesan.

Edited September 13, 2016 by normasm

[Bookish Jen]

With all the recipes and food ideas you lovely people are sharing I think we need to start a new thread. We can call it Criminal Kitchen. Er, Kriminal Kitchen? 

And there is a hymn we sing at my church called The Gathering Table, which I always thought would be a great name for a cook book. Maybe we can call it the The Gathering BAU Table.

Or "Meals Up in Thirty (Minutes or Less) for really easy meals to prepare.

[normasm]

Crumbinal Table

[Bookish Jen]

7 minutes ago, normasm said:

Crumbinal Table

I like that!

[Bookish Jen]

How about Profiling the Palate?

[normasm]

That's good

[Willowy]

Profiling the Palate is indeed great (and thank you for spelling 'palate' correctly!), but Meals Up in 30 is freaking genius.

[Bookish Jen]

8 minutes ago, Franky said:

Profiling the Palate is indeed great (and thank you for spelling 'palate' correctly!), but Meals Up in 30 is freaking genius.

Thanks (blushes demurely). But am I at a Spencer-level genius?

Dream on, Booky

[normasm]

Yeah, come to think of it, Meals up in 30 is pretty spiffy.

[ReidFan]

I LOVE Meals Up in Thirty.... I think I'm gonna do a fanfic with this.....

[Bookish Jen]

1 hour ago, ReidFan said:

I LOVE Meals Up in Thirty.... I think I'm gonna do a fanfic with this.....

Will it involve pumpkin spice butter?

[secnarf]

In case anyone cares - the pumpkin ravioli were good, but the pumpkin filling was sweet. I really liked the tomato sauce + parmesean with it, but overall it was a bit too sweet. The parmesean countered that nicely though. Homemade tomato sauce isn't really overpowering - not like the stuff in stores with a bajillion herbs/spices and a ton of sodium. My sauce just has tomatoes, onion, milk, wine, and a small amount of garlic, basil and sugar.
I hate olive oil on pasta, so that was never really something I considered.

I also vote for "meals up in 30"! Bonus points if the recipes can be made in 30 mins or less.

[normasm]

Yeah, secnarf, pumpkin ravioli is very delicate and needs compliments like toasted almonds, shaved Parmesan and fresh green beans or fresh Brussels sprouts to compliment the sweet with savory.

[ReidFan]

9 minutes ago, normasm said:

Yeah, secnarf, pumpkin ravioli is very delicate and needs compliments like toasted almonds, shaved Parmesan and fresh green beans or fresh Brussels sprouts to compliment the sweet with savory.

ugh. brussel sprouts should be outlawed.

[Droogie]

Secnarf, your marinara sauce sounds delish!  Didn't you say you have 50L made up, or did I dream that!p?  Do you can?  Grow your own tomatoes?

Norm, I completely ADORE Brussels sprouts.  Yum, yum, yum.  I can make them a million ways.  My family loves them (and my husband was horrified the first time I made them, bc he grew up hating them). Sorry, RF!  Maybe I could whip you up a batch sometime and see if you change your mind.

[secnarf]

1 hour ago, Droogie said:

Secnarf, your marinara sauce sounds delish!  Didn't you say you have 50L made up, or did I dream that!p?  Do you can?  Grow your own tomatoes?

Haha yes I have 50L! Give or take a few jars. My family cans (jars?) every year. We do grow tomatoes, but not nearly enough to make sauce. My aunt will go to a farm and pick bushels, but the rest of us usually just buy the bushels already picked. And from there, it's a full day of washing, cutting, boiling/stirring, sieving, milling, more boiling/stirring, and then getting it all in jars! We do a few batches every year and then divvy them up, so my share is ~50L. The onions/garlic/sugar/milk/wine are added once the jars are opened to cook with.

It's delicious and simple and also pretty healthy - no salt or anything. I think it's worth the work up front to have for the whole year!

[normasm]

10 hours ago, ReidFan said:

ugh. brussel sprouts should be outlawed.

I agreed until I had freshly picked brussel sprouts, which I cut in quarters, sprinkle with a little olive oil and salt and pepper, and salute with a bit of wine, finishing with the aforementioned toasted slivered almonds and shaved parmesan. "Whole-different" animal.

[Bookish Jen]

On 9/12/2016 at 3:08 PM, ReidFan said:

LOL. No, Booky, NO.. *enough* with the pumpkin spice *everything* LOL  pumpkin spice deodorant, pumpkin spice toothpaste, pumpkin spice spaghetti sauce.  my son just complained his employer was thinking about a pumpkin spice poutine. lord have  mercy *massive eye roll*

ixnay on the umpkinpay icespay :)

Pumpkin spice Neosporin.

[ReidFan]

20 minutes ago, Bookish Jen said:

Pumpkin spice Neosporin.

*dies laughing*

[ReidFan]

3 hours ago, Bookish Jen said:

Pumpkin spice Neosporin.

along this same theme, someone sent me this on FB, and I just have to share, make sure you have tissues ready, you'll laugh so hard you'll cry:

 

http://www.dailyliked.net/talking-guinea-pigs/

[normasm]

Upthread, that's what I was talking about in my random pumpkin rumination. I love the guinea pigs

[ReidFan]

21 minutes ago, normasm said:

Upthread, that's what I was talking about in my random pumpkin rumination. I love the guinea pigs

I saw that but didn't make the connection until just now, cause you didn't provide a link to the guinea pigs in question :D but yes you're right, they're beyond loveable.

[Bookish Jen]

I am devastated that this little charmer would never date a girl like me!
http://wonkette.com/606394/women-abandoning-feminism-in-droves-in-hopes-of-winning-heart-of-this-guy

Now who will mend my broken heart?

[Danielg342]

I read the original article. I can't say it's anything too special, and part of me wants to side with him, but I also realize that the "feminism" he talks about is the "I'm offended by everything/I'm a perpetual victim" type of feminism that many think passes for feminism these days (these types I refer to as "laptop feminists" because they typically do little more than write buzzword-heavy posts on their computers). I've met several of those types, and many of them have a self-righteous, pompous attitude that makes them truly undatable (although I grant their attitudes likely come from insecurity that could point to depression).

It's a shame because I think feminism is still entirely relevant today...unfortunately it's the crazies who get all the press.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

I read the article, Booky, and though I agree that David Hon is likely no loss to the dating pool, I feel compelled to be more fair than he has a right to expect me to be. Feminism, both the word and the concept, has to an extent been hijacked and thus corrupted by those who use it as both a shield and a cudgel. You've said it yourself - between Taylor Swift and Lena Dunham, feminism has come to mean, Kiss my ass or else you're a hater.

Recently, in fact, there was an incident where Dunham was attending some celebrity event, and the football player Odell Beckham, Junior was sitting at her table, and she had a very public shit fit because he was looking at his cell phone instead of making small talk with her.  She was interviewed by her fellow annoyance Amy Schumer, and the subsequent article literally accused Beckham of seeing her as an 'it' because he didn't speak to her, and went on to say that he didn't speak to her because he didn't want to have sex with her. I wish I was joking, but I'm not.

Now, sure, you could say that Dunham is an idiot, and that she's about as much of a feminist as I am a goldfish, and you wouldn't be wrong. But a lot of people think she is. Hell, a lot of people still think that Taylor Swift is a feminist, which is apparently why it's now considered bad manners to talk about whatever five-minute relationship she's having. So while I definitely think that Mr. Hon is odious, I also think that feminism is one of those things that can be twisted into a pretzel for purposes that are less than awesome.

[normasm]

1 hour ago, Danielg342 said:

I also realize that the "feminism" he talks about is the "I'm offended by everything/I'm a perpetual victim" type of feminism that many think passes for feminism these days (these types I refer to as "laptop feminists" because they typically do little more than write buzzword-heavy posts on their computers). I've met several of those types, and many of them have a self-righteous, pompous attitude that makes them truly undatable (although I grant their attitudes likely come from insecurity that could point to depression).

It's a shame because I think feminism is still entirely relevant today...unfortunately it's the crazies who get all the press.

Thanks for that comment, Daniel. Feminism isn't anti- ANYTHING, but people like this guy are too compromised to understand that. Feminism is, like Black Lives Matter, a movement that says "this exists and is relevant - it doesn't eclipse anything, it is in conjunction with everything". When folks feel threatened by such stuff, I think it's mostly because they can't hear this truth over the dog whistle that tells them it's a threat. They can't feel the humanity of the folks they fear. I know and love lots of people who hear this dog whistle, and it doesn't mean they're dumb, it means they're scared. Fear makes lots of rational, smart people look elsewhere for their direction.

[Bookish Jen]

20 hours ago, Danielg342 said:

I read the original article. I can't say it's anything too special, and part of me wants to side with him, but I also realize that the "feminism" he talks about is the "I'm offended by everything/I'm a perpetual victim" type of feminism that many think passes for feminism these days (these types I refer to as "laptop feminists" because they typically do little more than write buzzword-heavy posts on their computers). I've met several of those types, and many of them have a self-righteous, pompous attitude that makes them truly undatable (although I grant their attitudes likely come from insecurity that could point to depression).

It's a shame because I think feminism is still entirely relevant today...unfortunately it's the crazies who get all the press.

"Laptop Feminists" That is the perfect description for the of kind of feminists™ that I call "Branding Feminists," which include people like Taylor Swift, Lena Dunham, Amber Rose, et al, use to brand themselves and portray themselves as "victims" of everything from "slut shaming" to "you're a hater," rather than knowing it as an idea that is ever evolving, including the not glamorous "boots on the ground" hard work. Andi Zeisler sums up this perfectly in her book "From Riot Grrrl to CoverGirl®, the Buying and Selling of a Political Movement.

Here is my review:
https://thebookselfblog.wordpress.com/category/andi-zeisler/

[Bookish Jen]

20 hours ago, Cobalt Stargazer said:

I read the article, Booky, and though I agree that David Hon is likely no loss to the dating pool, I feel compelled to be more fair than he has a right to expect me to be. Feminism, both the word and the concept, has to an extent been hijacked and thus corrupted by those who use it as both a shield and a cudgel. You've said it yourself - between Taylor Swift and Lena Dunham, feminism has come to mean, Kiss my ass or else you're a hater.

Recently, in fact, there was an incident where Dunham was attending some celebrity event, and the football player Odell Beckham, Junior was sitting at her table, and she had a very public shit fit because he was looking at his cell phone instead of making small talk with her.  She was interviewed by her fellow annoyance Amy Schumer, and the subsequent article literally accused Beckham of seeing her as an 'it' because he didn't speak to her, and went on to say that he didn't speak to her because he didn't want to have sex with her. I wish I was joking, but I'm not.

Now, sure, you could say that Dunham is an idiot, and that she's about as much of a feminist as I am a goldfish, and you wouldn't be wrong. But a lot of people think she is. Hell, a lot of people still think that Taylor Swift is a feminist, which is apparently why it's now considered bad manners to talk about whatever five-minute relationship she's having. So while I definitely think that Mr. Hon is odious, I also think that feminism is one of those things that can be twisted into a pretzel for purposes that are less than awesome.

Cobalt I read about Lena getting her knickers in a twist over Mr. Beckham on Jezebel.com, and rolled my eyes so hard I think I hurt my corneas.

[normasm]

I really enjoyed your article, Booky. May have to pick up this book, too.

[Bookish Jen]

6 minutes ago, normasm said:

I really enjoyed your article, Booky. May have to pick up this book, too.

It's great. Ms. Zeisler writing style is very real and relatable, not dry and academic.

I'd loan you a copy, but I got mine from the local library.

And remember when I told you about the Wisconsin publisher that wanted to send me a copy of various Wisconsin-based outlaw motorcycle clubs? I got the book several days ago and I'm about half way through it. Oy! What an eye-opener for a tender lass like myself. I thought these "outlaws" just drank a lot, smoked some weed, did some coke, got into bar brawls and were very fond of hookers, porn stars and strippers (oh, wait-that's Charlie Sheen). These outlaw bikers are so scary they could be a whole season of work for our brave BAU-ers. Many of these outlaw bikers are affiliated many hate groups, including the likes of the KKK and Stormfront. And their treatment of women, including their "old ladies," makes your average CM misogynistic unsub look like Phil Donahue. One horrific incident relayed in the book happened just one block north of where I live. Granted, this was probably before I was even breathing, let alone living on Milwaukee's east side.

[normasm]

Yeah, you're brave, I'm not sure I'm up to reading that book. Yikes. 

[zannej]

I think the "feminists" that guy was thinking of are "feminazis". A lot of people confuse true feminism with the rabid man-haters. Unfortunately, it is those rabid crazies that cause a lot of people to ignore actual facts and statistics. I happen to live in the state that has the largest wage gap between men and women. There are numerous studies that show women get taken less seriously by doctors (even female doctors). In the ER, women generally have to wait longer for treatment (over an hour compared to men getting treated in 45 min), are less likely to receive pain medication than men (but more likely to be given sedatives), and are often accused of exaggerating their symptoms. Women are charged more for things like cars purchases, car repairs, home repairs/renovations, etc. They are less likely to be listened to in boardrooms and less likely to be hired or taken seriously in STEM fields (fortunately my sister bucked those odds and is a supervisor in a STEM field). Women are less likely to be chosen for apprenticeships and mentorships at colleges and such. Girls are often given lower grades on subjective homework than males.

I sort of conducted an unintentional social experiment years ago when I was playing an online game. When I played a male character, everyone just assumed I was a male. People treated me with more respect, joked with me, and listened to my instructions/suggestions. I was often nominated to be a group leader and people didn't argue when I suggested strategy. They also backed off when I told them to stop hitting on my sister (who was playing a female character). When I played female characters I got all sorts of PMs asking me for cybersex (constantly-- I was *constantly* getting hit on and asked to engage in cybersex-- thankfully things are not that bad now that a lot of players in online games assume that female characters are being played by males). People would be flat out rude and refuse to follow instructions or would ignore any strategy suggestions. They would always defer to someone playing a male character instead. That said, I was also more likely to just be given help and offered items/gear by other players. As a male, I was expected to tough it out and "earn" my gear, where as a female, I was handed stuff. I do think some of it was buttering up from guys who wanted cybersex.

I won't even start on my experiences in school with extreme sexism. I could practically write a novel on that.

But, I do know there is some man-hating and discrimination against men. I witnessed a discussion on Facebook where a male responded to a group of women who were talking about an article about feminism. Because he didn't agree with everything in the article, rather than discuss the points, they immediately accused him of "mansplaining" and basically told him to STFU because he was a man and a man didn't have the right to weigh in on a discussion about feminism.

Unfortunately, there are groups that want to push too far and treat men worse. Like, it is not ok to objectify women but it is ok to objectify men. Or they decide to dumb men down to make the women look smarter. We still have a long way to go before there is true equality.

*gets off soapbox*

I have absolutely no clue who Lena Dunham is....

[ReidFan]

5 hours ago, zannej said:

 

I have absolutely no clue who Lena Dunham is....

you're not missing anything.

and nodded my head reading your online experiment. My son has been playing online for years (longer than he should have been allowed to but I'm a horrible mother) and would have had his system taken away if I'd ever seen/heard him act like that online. AND his sister used to regularly beat him at one of the games they played.

[secnarf]

6 hours ago, zannej said:

That said, I was also more likely to just be given help and offered items/gear by other players. As a male, I was expected to tough it out and "earn" my gear, where as a female, I was handed stuff. I do think some of it was buttering up from guys who wanted cybersex.

I think this is part of the problem too - a lot of guys will see this "unfair treatment" of women being handed things while the men need to work for it, and say that there is no need for feminism, that the gender gap is all a myth or if anything, it's the men who are disadvantaged. It's where the male version of feminism comes from as well (I can't for the life of me remember what they call it).

[Willowy]

It's called feminism. Men who practice feminism are called feminists. 

Unless you're talking about misandry. When people are prejudiced against men?

[secnarf]

11 minutes ago, Franky said:

It's called feminism. Men who practice feminism are called feminists. 

Unless you're talking about misandry. When people are prejudiced against men?

Neither - the opposite of misandry, I guess.

[Willowy]

The antonym for misandry is philandry, meaning to love men... is that the word?

[smoker]

7 hours ago, zannej said:

I have absolutely no clue who Lena Dunham is....

I wish I could come back to that state xD

Edited September 18, 2016 by smoker

[secnarf]

2 hours ago, Franky said:

The antonym for misandry is philandry, meaning to love men... is that the word?

No.

A quick google search wasn't really helpful, except for the "men's liberation movement". I could have sworn there was some cutesy made-up word for it, though.

Essentially though, it's like feminism but instead of being focused on women's rights, it's on men's rights.

[Danielg342]

Lena Dunham is primarily known for "Girls" on HBO (where, predictably, she's been depicted topless), as she serves as the series' creator and head writer. Outside of "Girls", she gained quite a bit of fame because she identifies herself as a feminist, something she's received both support and criticism for. In a memoir she wrote, Dunham recounted a story about how one time when she was seven years old, she looked at her one year old sister's vagina and was enamoured by it. In that same memoir, Dunham recounts a story of an encounter at her college, Oberlin College, with a man she only identifies as "Barry", whom she asserts sexually assaulted him. There's significant controversy about the accuracy of Dunham's account, and an actual man who went to Oberlin College- who was named Barry- forced the book's publisher and Dunham to issue "clarifications" because of legal action. I'll leave it up to you regarding how you want to look at the incidents.

I'm personally kind of ambivalent towards Dunham...I don't think she ever meant to cause controversy but I think it's clear she's one of those misguided feminists who know very little about what the term actually means. She could be a lot worse, though- at least she doesn't really actively campaign on her misconceptions, unlike other "feminists" (like Anita Sarkeesian).

@secnarf- there is "egalitarianism" and "humanism" that get used as "alternate" terms to feminism, and I've seen "meninism" used too. Those who actually do advocate for men's rights do tend to call themselves simply "men's rights advocates" or MRAs. I'm not sure if that helps.

I think my primary problem with gender politics these days is that it's way too polarized- like much of North American society. Both sides tend to believe only *their* problems are worth discussing and dismiss the other side's arguments. Truth be told, I don't think "men's rights" or "feminism" ought to be dirty words, but they are- because the crazies like Meghan Murphy (who once argued for a curfew for men with a seemingly straight face) and Roosh (who believed legalizing rape in private quarters would actually end rape) are the ones who get the press attention.

Unfortunately, what this does is create the false impression that those who actually advocate for equal rights to get associated with the crazies, and once that association is made, it's impossible to break. Perfectly rational arguments get tossed aside because associating with "one side" makes them easier to dismiss, and vital discussions- like harassment and sexual assault- get railroaded because everyone gets stuck in their "ideals" and refuse to even acknowledge there might be alternate viewpoints that could provide a solution. It's infuriating.

[Bookish Jen]

21 hours ago, smoker said:

I wish I could come back to that state xD

You and me, both. It was a simpler and happier time.