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thewhiteowl

S05.E13: Painstaking Portraits

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First of all, THIS is how you judge an Elimination Challenge, especially if you're going to do that whole head to head gimmick. Have them tattoo the exact same thing and compare them side by side against the original image. The only thing that would have made this even better is if we could see all three images up at the same time for all three groups like we did with the little girl.

 

Second, go Dave! I laughed my ass off when he smacked Nunez down concerning Chris (or was it Eric's) poor performance and lack of effort.

 

Finally, I think Chris should have went home instead of Aaron. The harsh cheek lines made it look like the girl was attacked by Tim Burton's Joker. I can only hope the hard lines can be softened somehow.

 

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thejoker_slideshow.png

 

Remember, go with a smile!

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First, does Jennifer Lopez know that Dave Navarro stole her hat and sunglasses?

 

It's kind of astounding that the flash challenge had such a clear winner mostly by default because two of the giant headphones were so obviously bad. That's not really intended as a knock on the winning headphones either. I just think that when we are down to the top six contestants, the work shouldn't be as slovenly as the bottom two headphones were.

 

The elimination challenge is exactly the kind of head to head challenge that I love. No room for interpretation or whining about how the client wanted this so I had it harder. You had the exact same photo to work with. Now we really get to compare with a completely level playing field. Portraits are one of the easiest things to screw up so I would NEVER get a portrait tattoo unless it was by an artist whose work I knew and respected. I would never take a chance on some random clown on a reality show to put something like that permanently on my skin.

 

I, too, loved Dave's exasperation with Chris and how he brought up Chris giving up before he even started. Chris seems like such a defeated sadsack. When they judges came to check on everyone, the guest judge asked if Chris was going to wait to do the darker parts and Chris avoided eye contact and giving a real answer ("I don't know, it depends" is not really an answer to anything). He wasn't asking hypothetically, dude. He was asking about THIS tattoo right now. If you are in the process of tattooing and you don't know, good luck to you and your client.

 

Honestly, I would have been fine with most of these people getting eliminated.

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I would have sent Erik home - I hated those damn flowers

Dave's hat and sunnies have bothered me forever!

Happy he called out Cris on his quit before I start philosophy.

I looked at the headphones on the website and I have to say that the Nunez ones are pretty fine - you couldn't pay me to accept, own, or wear anything by Cleen.

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I thought it was a bit much for either team to be mad about someone else doing a double helix in their design since they all chose it to tie in with the product name (DNA headphones). The major problem I had with both of the losing teams' headphone designs was that they were doing too many small details that wouldn't show up as well on regular sized headphones. You have to think about the proportion. The headband type part is maybe an inch wide in real life so the details are going to get lost. What is going to show up well are bold lines and colors, not those thin green lines in the background. The octopus suction cup looking things would end up looking like pink dots.

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Ugh, I thought Aaron had it with this one. Precision is great and all in all sorts of tattooing but tight, solid lines are not for a child's face, no matter how precise.

 

Also, I thought Cleen's was good and all, BUT the shading was crazy--looked like dirt on the man's face to me (and I see this in lots of portraits. I myself have only a portrait of my late cat, so I really don't know from experience how they go about doing a good portrait of a person; I assume it's a tough job).

 

And, while I agree with the Graduation Mom decision, the winner's hair (in the tattoo) was terrible--too flat and solid. I know it was '70s-girl long, straight hair but this looked like a stiff black satin curtain! I found it odd that the guest judge pretty much said that about the losing tattoo's hair.

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Something is wrong with this show if Chris has made it this far, how many bottom 3 tattoos has he had? How many has he given up on and still made it through?

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Heh, thank goodness for the internet keeping track of this info! Remaining contestants and how many times they have been in the bottom:

Cleen - 1

Erik - 2

Jason - 3

Cris - 4

Mark - 5

Aaron had only been in the bottom once prior to this week.

In the elimination challenges, Cleen has had 3 wins and was in the top group one additional time. Jason has had one win and was in the top one other time. Erik has been in the top twice but has no wins. Mark and Cris have never been in the top.

Erik has won three flash challenges. Cleen and Mark have each won one FC solo plus their team win today. Cris won a team FC with Angel.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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None of the portraits were good, but I would have eliminated Cris. His tattoo was awful, especially with the harsh lines creating the cheeks. Aaron's look way closer to the photo than Cris'.

 

I like Erik, but man that was a terrible tattoo. The lips were ten kinds of jacked up.

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See this is why I will never get a portrait tattoo; no matter how talented the artist is the tat just never looks right.  The shading, the placement, I don't know but it never looks as good as the photo to me.

 

I too would have thought Chris would be sent home but all that squaking Aaron did on being a portrait king, looking back that editing was just setting him up to go home =(

 

It's a shame really because I like Aaron but I like Chris too.  Both do good work it's just it is very obvious the pressure is getting to them AND the judges are really getting nit picky about everything.

 

Yay, Jason lives to see another day--I really, really do like him as well and I hope the next challenge is up his alley.

 

Cleen - 1
Erik - 2
Jason - 3
Cris - 4
Mark - 5

Thank you for this.  Why is Mark still here?!  Jeez the guy wins a flash challenge (thanks to Cleen btw) and he thinks he's the next Sailor Jerry?? He has way too much confidence for someone who has been up and down those stairs more than anybody! 

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This episode reconfirmed my decision to never get a portrait tattoo.  They all had issues.  It seemed like everyone went way too dark.  I prefer tribute tattoos that focus on something that reminds you of the person or had significance for the two of you.  The faces never seem to look right.  (Of course, for those of you who watch Top Chef, there is a contestant sporting a suh-weet Patrick Swayze tattoo). Every time they do portraits on this show, it is clear why it is such a specialty area.  Cris' tattoo made it look like the girl had some facial features of a 10 year old and others of a 90 year old.  It was bizarre.  He's been circling the drain for way to long.

 

The headphone challenge was interesting.  As Electric Boogaloo pointed out, you have to be prepared to shrink these down to normal size.  All of those tiny lines would be lost.  Top 6, 3 teams, and 2 of them are completely out of the running for the win.  That is hard to see this late in the game.  

 

Did everyone over-shade their portrait tattoos?  On my screen, they all looked too dark.  

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I have a portrait of Bettie Page and I remember it was very dark at first with all the shading but once she healed, it looked great.  It was a little scary because it looked like Bettie had a 5 o'clock shadow for the first week.

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Yeah, from what I saw, Mark's portrait tattoo didn't look anywhere near good enough for all the praise it got. She didn't come out looking that much like the photo at all to me.

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Aaron's tattoo was bad, but between those two, Cris' was far worse.  The judges got it wrong, especially considering he'd only been in the bottom once and Cris is a bottom feeder.

 

Speaking of, Cris is this show's cockroach - somehow he keeps managing to slip through the cracks during elimination and survive week after week.  He would have been eliminated two weeks ago for that god-awful DNA helix he did on that canvas' spine (well, TBH, there were a couple of other times out of the five he's been in the bottom he should have gone home), but thanks to Josh's flagrant violation of his contract and the rules, he was spared.

 

Erik's portrait was atrocious; it was no contest between his and Mark's tat, but boy does he think his shit don't stink.  Given that his ego knows no bounds, I loved seeing him getting knocked down a few pegs by the judges.  Mark needs to get his ego in check -  he wins two flash challenges (including the one tonight that he shared with King Cleen DoucheCanoe) and one head-to-head, and he now thinks he's one of the top bananas?!   Also, this is petty, but damn, son....trim your fucking beard!!  That nasty, scraggly thing is a disgusting mess - it looks like bugs could be nesting in it along with remnants of several meals.

 

 They might as well crown King DoucheCanoe;  there's no way he's not going to win.  Which sucks, because his attitude towards the other contestants sucks.  He's insufferable as it is, and the last thing he needs is more arrogance.

 

Happy to see Jason get through this portrait challenge, and happier still that the judges didn't feel his tattoo warranted being in the bottom.  Hopefully he'll get his mojo back and kick some ass next week.

Edited by OriginalCyn
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I did not understand how Aaron got the boot this week. I'd argue that his portrait was possibly the best of the day, other than that one of the guy (I can't remember who did it).

 

I think portrait tattoos are creepy as hell anyway, no matter how well done they are. I'll never understand why people get them.

Edited by Pixel
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I did not understand how Aaron got the boot this week. I'd argue that his portrait was possibly the best of the day, other than that one of the guy (I can't remember who did it).

 

I think portrait tattoos are creepy as hell anyway, no matter how well done they are. I'll never understand why people get them.

 

 I would have been shocked at Aaron leaving had they not telegraphed it in the first scenes. Chris's portrait was the worst by a wide margin IMO.

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They might as well crown King DoucheCanoe;  there's no way he's not going to win.  Which sucks, because his attitude towards the other contestants sucks.  He's insufferable as it is, and the last thing he needs is more arrogance.

ITA.  It seems for the past 3 or 4 seasons of this show there has been a very clear winner early on so there is no surprise at the season finale and unfortunately all of them have been insufferable a-holes.  Yeah Cleen has a terrible attitude but he really is an excellent tattoo artist so I don't mind his obvious win too much.  What I really hate is someone with a awful attitude AND no talent to back it up.

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