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Small Talk: Ughngnggh! Ugghhnnn!


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Well it sounds like we are zeroing in on redwoods, they're big enough to have elevators inside. And these redwoods will be located near a stream with a waterfall, facilitating clean drinking water and the water can power our Rube Goldberg type thangs to make life easier. and booty traps for the zombies. We will not get guts all over us. 

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OK, now I'm imagining a Lord Of The Rings style eleven tree village. I always wanted a tree house! We'll have some kind of elevator-pulley platforms for us lame-types getting up in, ones that we can disable quickly in case of trouble. Zombies and bears probably can't figure out elevators.

Okay so we need some property with big big trees!  i am digging the elevator-pulley system.  Anything that avoids physical activity I'm in!

 

You know I've always wondered why they don't show anyone with a treehouse on the show.  It just seems like the smartest thing to do.

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If you want reliable streams, waterfalls, big trees and conveniently treacherous slippery moss and a maze of underbrush, the Pacific Northwest is still the best.  Lots of fish in lakes & streams, great seafood at the shoreline, plenty of wild game, convenient dense forests & mountains to escape to ... the list goes on, but really I just want to see a Sasquatch throw down on a zombie, eh.  Or, for that matter - a fuckin' grizzly (Colbert bear alert!).

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It's smart against zombies, especially if we have zip-line, elevator type things to get us from tree to tree. Not so much against governor or the human enemy, they'll cut down our tree but we will have our sleeping hammocks which will convert to parachutes! :D And they'll be camo flavor so we will be CHICKENFLAGE! Kev will have an invisibility cloak, of course. We will have enough solar power (or hydro electric) for our robot toilets and necessities...(espresso machine...fro yo maker...electric fire) 

 

I bet we can rig up a big laser and make the zombies chase it like cats do. Entertaining for us and safety net as well, lure them away if they're sniffin our tree. Make a lil people hologram and they chase it off a cliff STAMPEDE! points to whoever gets that. 

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Iffen y'all like, there's some redwoods just about an hour north of me that would do quite nicely.  Or about an hour west from me as well.  Lots of fish and shellfish, plus wild pigs, deer, elk, squirrels, birds, etc.  And lots of hidden cabins and houses to loot for supplies.  We can use those handy lasers to lure the walkers off cliffs, kinda like what Rick and co. were doing on that bridge.

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Whose got the winnebago that's swinging around picking us up? Who is the best shot? for shooting these elk and sqwiwwels. I can feesh but I'm blind as a bat and have shot a rifle exactly 5 times in my life and only hit the hay bale, not the actual target on it. I will fashion myself an outfit with sharp pointy ends on the shoes, knees, elbows so that even though I'm clumsy and not a skilled ninja, the walkers will die just throwing themselves on me. Might even become one of those african tribes women with the neck stretchy necklaces, just for the bite protection. Although even the thought of the tight metal necklace things they wear makes my neck tickle cuz I don't like nothing touching my neck, no turtle necks, no chokers. 

 

And I don't get the "fashion" scarf. Never mind whether it's a pashmina or not or a burberry, I don't jauntily throw a scarf on as an accessory. I see videos online for "tie it on the side" or have a little fringe hanging or bandana style. No...just no. Cold weather scarf I get, not so much the other.

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Whose got the winnebago that's swinging around picking us up? Who is the best shot? for shooting these elk and sqwiwwels. I can feesh but I'm blind as a bat and have shot a rifle exactly 5 times in my life and only hit the hay bale, not the actual target on it. I will fashion myself an outfit with sharp pointy ends on the shoes, knees, elbows so that even though I'm clumsy and not a skilled ninja, the walkers will die just throwing themselves on me. Might even become one of those african tribes women with the neck stretchy necklaces, just for the bite protection. Although even the thought of the tight metal necklace things they wear makes my neck tickle cuz I don't like nothing touching my neck, no turtle necks, no chokers. 

 

And I don't get the "fashion" scarf. Never mind whether it's a pashmina or not or a burberry, I don't jauntily throw a scarf on as an accessory. I see videos online for "tie it on the side" or have a little fringe hanging or bandana style. No...just no. Cold weather scarf I get, not so much the other.

I was a youngin' in the 90's so I totally could do the choker spikey thing!   We lived for our chokers!  

 

I'm a good shot.  My ex boyfriend decided he was going to teach me how to shoot when we were on vacation in California.  His Dad had this huge gun collection, so they took me to a shooting range.  I shot better then every person there!  They said some people are just naturally good I guess. I don't know how good I would be at shooting cute Bambi, but I could peg off Walkers!

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One time the boys took us shooting. They lined up cans and bottles and showed us how "awesome" they were then let the girls take a turn. So I get up there and then I have a question so I lowered the gun and turned. Every single boy hit the deck. I know my gun safety never ever point a loaded weapon. I lowered the damn thing. >:(

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I've never shot a gun, but I used to be ok with a bow. (Not at wildlife, just bullseyes). I might be able to throw rocks.

I never was good with the fashion scarf, but I was inspired when my sister had chemo and lost her hair. She was young and is very pretty, so she can already pull off things I can't, but the wigs were a pain (of course she kept working on days she wasn't passed out from the chemo), so she bought a few scarves and went online, and found a dozen gorgeous ways to wear them on her head. People later told her they hadn't realized she was covering her head, 'cause it just looked good. (She also looked good with 1/4" hair, so they weren't blowing smoke. She really could be a model. She can pull off anything.)

Fast forward a few years, and I was going back to work after the surgery on my spine ( through my neck), and she showed me all these pretty scarves she had and how to wear them to cover up my healing incision. I would have been afraid before to wear them, thinking I looked silly, but I wound up getting more compliments.

Now we both have nice scarf collections, and aren't hesitant to wear them. You guys shouldn't be, either. It's fun, and a nice way to dress up a bland outfit.

ETA, I don't mean wear them if you don't like them. Don't mean to sound like some scarf cult recruiter :)

Edited by BrokenRemote
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Keep an eye on that broken remote. I've heard talk of drugs and I believe that's a front for a scarf cult!

I offered to shave my head when my mom had chemo and lost her hair. She told me no. And she wore those babushka cap things. And she bedazzled them herself. No lie, they were hideous. But sometimes when my friends came over she would wait for them to be distracted by TV or if we were eating dinner and she Would sneak the cap off her head Just to see their reaction to her bald head. She also threw her fake boob at a few. One guy screamed like a girl when a squishy fleshy warm thing landed in his lap. Of course my mom was also hopped up on the goof balls.

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Kev will have an invisibility cloak, of course.

 

I accept.

 

Of actual skills to offer you all...I expect I can swing an axe to kill zombies. I wouldn't hesitate to attempt to kill a bad guy like the Governor with my axe. I can sew...so I'll take care of patching ripped pants and such to leave less bare skin for biting. I can gather wood with the best of them...if my arthritis and other health issues aren't messing me up too badly that day... Yep, I got mad survival skillz.

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I did spend years on a farm and years as a Wildlife Supervisor I have raised rabbits, several kinds of deer, aoudads, quail etc (even skunk but that's not on the menu is it?) I have done lots of farm work, raised hundreds of goats and sheep and do dairy so I could help with that. (and ponies, donkeys, chicken, ducks, calves and so on.) I can preserve and can food (someone go on a run and get jars, good luck haulng all that glass) and make some cheeses (learning more). I can make butter and pasteurize milk and have good gardening skills. I know how to cure hay,I know how to use a Peace Corps solar oven, and I like fishing and have love for making stuff out of kudzu. Respectable shooter but need to learn bow hunting. I know how to make a tub mill and make a water wheel for small power, and I like the flexible solar panels for the RV. (I need a strong person to haul marine batteries with me.) I can make diesel---slowly. (Get big enough containers it goes faster).

Nurse GiGI has to be there for medical skillz!

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I did spend years on a farm and years as a Wildlife Supervisor I have raised rabbits, several kinds of deer, aoudads, quail etc (even skunk but that's not on the menu is it?) I have done lots of farm work, raised hundreds of goats and sheep and do dairy so I could help with that. (and ponies, donkeys, chicken, ducks, calves and so on.) I can preserve and can food (someone go on a run and get jars, good luck haulng all that glass) and make some cheeses (learning more). I can make butter and pasteurize milk and have good gardening skills. I know how to cure hay,I know how to use a Peace Corps solar oven, and I like fishing and have love for making stuff out of kudzu. Respectable shooter but need to learn bow hunting. I know how to make a tub mill and make a water wheel for small power, and I like the flexible solar panels for the RV. (I need a strong person to haul marine batteries with me.) I can make diesel---slowly. (Get big enough containers it goes faster).

Nurse GiGI has to be there for medical skillz!

Holy crap, and you shall be our Queen!

 

I've got a hell of a green thumb on me and know lots of stuff from my Cherokee Grandparents!

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Holy crap, and you shall be our Queen!

 

I've got a hell of a green thumb on me and know lots of stuff from my Cherokee Grandparents!

Bring it! You gotta find the tree house/cavern gorge/whatever property----that's the whole key.

 

I wonder when Michonne is going to bring up the conversation in the church and ask Carl: So it's not safe to stay in one place? How's this road trip working out for you? Too bad your little sister can't vote!

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Yes, I've long since decided to stalk kikismom if the worlds ends.

I know how to can and preserve and the like, and I grew up doing those things with a woodstove, plus cooking on one. Can make clothes, too, but I imagine there will be enough clothes left for everyone forever.

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I'm good with a gun, better with a bow and arrow, though it's been a few years and I'd need some practice, I'm sure.  I'm also good with first aid, and have a head full of trivia that might be useful during the apocalypse.  I know how to cook.  And I have a collection of scarves/shawls that goes on for days.  Can I join in the commune?

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I'll stick with my critters and fly low under the radar, thank you very much.  No man is an island, but old wimmen do quite well under the most extreme circumstances.  I'd be more than happy if ALL humans died out and gave the planet a chance (present company excluded and zombies not withstanding).

 

ETA - just watched another installment of Earth on PBS, so I'm down on all but the BEST of humans who can live WITH the environment.  Also, no sleep & much pain make me grouchy.  :-(

Edited by walnutqueen
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I am imagining an army of people with fashion scarves made into slings, hurling rocks at wildlife from the treetops.

ETA, I mean the slings that are like a slingshot but not, where you load up a rock and use the sling to hurl it. Although many of us, in the shape we're in, will probably use the excess pashminas for wounded-limb slings as well.

Edited by BrokenRemote
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/sprinkles Magic no pain dust for da walnutqueen. It's not cocaine. At all...at all.

 

ICE, ICE, baby!  :-)

 

Cocaine ain't all dat (been there, done that; # SO not impressed).  I'll try some fairy dust, though.  Tinkerbelle LIVES!

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I got a haircut. And you ain't got one. Nuh nuh nunuh. /weird scootchy butt dance. My hair is very competitive but I am not.

I will point out carols scarf product placement in the episode where t-dawg got bit. Scarves are evil.

Ragnar lothbruk!

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Scarves/shawls have so many uses in the za.  They can become baby slings.  Or impromptu bags for holding supplies/food you find.  Or wrap up wounds.  Or hold back long hair (looking at YOU, Daryl) to make vision better.  Or sweat bands.  Or attach to things in order to drag them.  Or slung between trees so that walkers trip on them.  Just oodles of uses.  Heh.

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Ha!

You could tie scarves to trees or posts to leave a sign for someone. Two words: fashionable tourniquet. Flag signals from a distance (wave the red pashmina if there are zombies over that hill, or the gold silk for 'all clear'). Tying up madmen. But wait, there's more!

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They need to be carrying Judith in a sling. A gauzy scarf could shade her from the sun. And why in the hell did they not put a tourniquet on Tyreese's arm?

I bet wherever Aaron comes from has scarves. (They obviously have a Noah to do the laundry.)

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I can dig the scarf as carrying thing such a baby or firewood. I do not dog those attachment parenting people who carry their kid in a sling and they're not allowed to walk. We knew a lady who never ever ever ever ever put her child down. Kid was over 2 and had never taken a step. And she was gonna breast feed the kid til she was 9. I'm all for attentive parenting then there's cuckoo for cocoa puffs parenting.

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Why does my phone put an apostrophe in every instance of "its"?

 

Don't get angry at your phone. It - like a large portion of the human population -  thinks there's supposed to be an apostrophe in front of every single final "s" in any word. Possessive? Nope, don't know nuthin' about that. Double grrr.

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I can dig the scarf as carrying thing such a baby or firewood. I do not dog those attachment parenting people who carry their kid in a sling and they're not allowed to walk. We knew a lady who never ever ever ever ever put her child down. Kid was over 2 and had never taken a step. And she was gonna breast feed the kid til she was 9. I'm all for attentive parenting then there's cuckoo for cocoa puffs parenting.

Jeez, hope that kid doesn't get zombified and chews her tit off. Wait... maybe that would be best.

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Ok the definitive reason why scarves are evil...just saw a clip of the bachelor with the crazy girl Kelsey wearing very ornate fashion scarf. I don't watch the bachelor but if they make special clips of you to illustrate the crazy then the scarf is cray cray

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So it was a milestone day in fashion terms for me: I bought a dress.  Yes, an actual dress (said the woman who lives in jeans)  I have a Chinese New Year dinner/event at a friend's house next Saturday and the invitation was clear re: the dress code.  Either Chinese dress or red, and the hostess is a not a woman I care to cross.  I guess I could have gotten away with anything red, but I decided I wanted a red dress.  The last time I had an event (a friend's wedding) I had to borrow a dress because I do not own any.  Not one.  No skirts either.  I wear jeans or khakis with long-sleeved tops in the winter and short-sleeved ones in the summer.  I hate shopping so when I announced I was on my way to The Bay at 3.15 and hoped to have finished shopping by 4.15 because I had to be on the subway to meet another friend and her kids for dinner at 5pm, my room mate laughed.  She didn't think I could do it.  Proved her wrong by texting her at 3.50, telling her I had found and bought a red dress.  It's Jones New York, on clearance, so vastly reduced into my price range. It actually looks great and I plan to wear it with my good boots: tall black ones with heels.  I can safely predict I am going to shock the hell out of my friends next Saturday.  Other than the wedding, and my effort there was minimal, I don't think anyone's ever seen me in anything with actual style.

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What kind of scarf did you get? ;)

 

I feel like there should be an award for who gets the last post in the live thread before it locks down. Boom that sucker clicked shut and like a numpty I'm all click, click, why does it reject my thoughtful insights? 

 

I'm kinda ready for the treehouse, I feel very much like checking out of the world for a bit. I just aint feeling it. 

Edited by nachomama
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Hobbits vs Zombies. It wouldn't surprise me if Hollywood has cooked something like that up.

 

I really wanted an invisibility cloak when I was a kid, like Sheila from the dungeons and dragons cartoon.

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I had a scarf - it soaked up the menopausal chest sweat and was "trendy"; now I am stuck with both forever.  Menopausal sweats are neverending, and that fucking DMV pic is renewable by mail 10 years later without a new pic!!!  Double edged sword, meet the pic-aversion psycho! 

 

 

ETA - scarves make excellent diapers - take it from one who remembers the days before Pampers.

Edited by walnutqueen
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This scarf talk just reminded me of some comments on Entertainment Weekly's recap of the FOX series, Empire:

 

Jamal wears too many scarves, but I think that's his bohemian/hipster look from his coffee house days. He'll have to upgrade his image soon.

 

You know, I was with Jamal on the scarves, right up until he was wearing one over his head like Whitney Houston in Waiting to Exhale.

 

That was one too many scarves for me.

 

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Oh I was thrilled when we went to 10 year licenses and I can renew the sucker online.

I'm just catching up with the oscars and I thought for a second that lady gaga was singing sound of music songs because Julie Andrews died.

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Yeah we know where you get your pills. On the street! Goofball hustler! And everyone drivers license photo looks like serial killer. I wonder if idiots do duck lips in their license photos now? I swear these lil heffers only know how to do the duck lip selfie pose. Bring on the apocalypse! No selfies.

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I have had the same license photo since 2000. Somehow it worked out just right that it's good through 2018. I have lost weight since then, changed my hair color, and I was taking massive doses of corticosteroids at the time and looked like I had a basketball on my shoulders. I got asked for secondary id at WALMART once because they didn't think it looked like me. And yet, I won't go get a new license because of the eleventy frillion papers you have to take with you.

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I'm going to the DMV next time so I can replace the serial-killer looking mess I have on my license right now. I swear, I actually hesitate to write checks or buy cold medicine, because someone will have to look at that sucker!

Ha!  I was stuck with a crack whore looking picture forever.  My license was expiring and I had just a bit to big of a birthday celebration the night before.  I overslept, and woke up with about 20 minutes before the dmv closed.  It was the day it expired, and they will sometimes make you take the test over if you let it expire.  Thinking of doing that made me get up, jump in the car and go.  I had raccoon eyes from left over make up and not brushed hair hastily put up in a make shift updo.  I actually had a cashier at a liquor store congratulate me for turning my life around once...lol

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If you had a scarf all would have been fine. They make your eyes pop. 

 

Over on TWoP in the Little House on the Prairie group we had the "headscarf of urgency", apparently when emergencies occured you had to secure your headscarf and run for town, Doc Baker or mostly Pa. We shall employ the headscarf of urgency. 

Edited by nachomama
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My boss gave me bullshit to do, entering names into a form letter, so I'm going to do it just as slowly as I possibly can. Lookin at other jobs, two years no raise and giving me this bullshit, plus the buying used computers that don't work, being a cheap asshole, not turning on the heat. Feeling very Bob Cratchett, give me my coal! I saw a job advertised today with a competitor, I'm dying to apply. We don't really do direct mail stuff but this Doctor sends out a letter every year so she gives us the addresses in a spread sheet and then like 100 that gotta be taken out and these over here gotta be changed. That's your job, not mine. For the "taking out" she honestly went through the stack of letters and drew a big x on them...why not remove them yoursself if you went through the trouble of wasting ink to put a big x? I hate stupid people even though I am a stupid people. 

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