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CSI: Miami

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The WE channel has CSI Miami marathons on Sundays and Mondays.

 

Yesterday, they played Wrecking Crew, one of my all time favorites because it was so dumb.

 

To start, Calleigh & Eric -- two Crime Scene Investigators, hence the CSI in CSI Miami -- are guarding an ear witness in a murder trial.  Not regular cops, not the Miami equivalent of marshals, etc, but 2 CSIs.  Even better, they're walking the witness through his expected trial testimony.

 

The "safe house" in which they're guarding the witness may as well have a giant arrow in the sky pointing to the witness.  It's the only completed floor of an abandoned sky scraper construction site that has absolutely no security around it.  What could go wrong?

 

To top it off, the witness has a wife and son who are nowhere to be seen, and who knows where they are.  Not under any kind of witness protection, that's for sure.  Because you know if someone is ruthless enough to to kill a witness, they would never, ever think about trying to intimidate that witness by harming his family.

 

And this is all just in the first few minutes.  There is plenty of stupidity left to come.

 

 

 

 

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I am so glad someone actually posted here. I watched CSI Miami briefly during its original run, and rediscovered it with all the reruns on cable every week. I've been watching Season 1 again, and it's so striking the difference in procedure from the later seasons. They used to give lip service to the idea that CSIs would not be the first on the scene, and that a detective would always be there to fill them in on the basic details and be present during interrogations and when arrests were made. They used to call for backup and have uniformed police officers bust down doors and cuff perps. And Horatio used to actually crack a smile once in a while. By the end, CSIs were apparently a full-service department, arriving first, processing everything and interviewing everyone, and solving the case without any pesky interference from detectives.

 

I agree with you about "Wrecking Crew". There's just so much laughable about the basic premise.And of course, swinging a giant crane into a skyscraper is a much more efficient way to kill someone than, I don't know, shooting them in the head as they exit the building? Wait... 

 

My excuse for watching this show? It's so pretty. The colors, the scenery and the characters who don't dress in dark, drab colors like every other detective show. Emily Procter is from my home state too (NC) so I originally caught the show to see her.

Edited by phantom
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I saw the episode today where Marisol died.  It was so devoid of any emotion.  I mean, seriously, his wife is critically injured, and Horatio goes back to work?? And they didn't show any family with her.   And right before we hear the beeeeeeeep of the machines going off, they're talking about some place they went to dinner at, did he get the good table, not one word of I love you.  Oh, she said don't feel sad.  WTH.

 

And if you're a super CSI, with the flash off of the building, and the mala noche (however it's spelled - the big bad gang/mafioso types) running amuck in the city, wouldn't you at least duck or something?  Plus, if you're the target of that gang (Horatio) wouldn't you put your family in a protective area until they're dead or in jail? I know it was a plot point for Horatio and crew to go off on a revenge quest.

 

The one episode I saw that really went over the top for me was a later one where an old nemesis of Horatio's (I'd move into a bunker in the middle of nowhere, no forwarding address if I were even related to him - everyone is after him) had a henchman go off and he shot Horatio, injuring him badly.  He put Natalia in the trunk of a car and then sent the car off a pier.  Horatio's half passed out, can't even get a shot off at the bad guy.  The episode ends on a cliff- er pier hanger.  Natalia can't get out of the car and water is filling the car quickly.  Dah dah dahhhhh.  Next episode, starts off with a brief recap.  Horatio then starts hallucinating seeing Marisol, who says oh it's nice seeing you but you gotta go back, people need you.  She basically says you know you have to do it or save her.  He then dives off the pier, finds the car and frees Natalia.  Yeah he's hallucinating again in the ambulance, but then later checks himself out of the hospital.  I know people get an adrenaline rush, but I would think he'd be more able to fire off the shot - preventing the baddie from getting the car off of the pier to start with??

 

I still sit and watch the marathons even with all of the flaws.

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My excuse for watching this show?

Mine is that I adore Miami, and *in a whispering tone* I love Horatio, he's so over the top he amuses me to no end.
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*in a whispering tone* I love Horatio, he's so over the top he amuses me to no end.

 

How can you not love a man who in the recently run "Rio" episode appears suddenly to confront the Mala Noche head and then suddenly disappears after some traffic passes by only to wind up kneeling in front of the Jesus statue?  I mean, that is the stuff of legend (and just so damn funny!)

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How can you not love a man who in the recently run "Rio" episode appears suddenly to confront the Mala Noche head and then suddenly disappears after some traffic passes by only to wind up kneeling in front of the Jesus statue?  I mean, that is the stuff of legend (and just so damn funny!)

YES!  Also, I SO love the many times a perp is running from the police, only to end up running directly into a hands-on-hips Horatio!!!

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On 9/10/2015 at 4:53 PM, ByTor said:

YES!  Also, I SO love the many times a perp is running from the police, only to end up running directly into a hands-on-hips Horatio!!!

Or he's got his gun drawn, both hands on gun, head cocked to the side.  They had an episode on yesterday, where the guy was an ex-boxer, got thrown in prison for whatever, came back to exact his revenge.  Of course, Horatio found him at the end, Mr. Ex Boxer was ready to kill a hostage, but Horatio shot him first.  Guy is laying there shot, still talking shit to Horatio, and tried to pull a quick one and shoot Horatio.  Nope.  Horatio shot him dead this time.

It got me to wondering, every time there's a police involved shooting, the officers are put on mandatory leave (in real life), while an investigation goes over the incident.  As many baddies as Horatio has shot (or one of his team), they would have someone on leave at least every month.  The investigations they do have are always slanted by someone else in the MDPD who wants to 'get' Horatio.  It's always found out to be without merit, because, well Horatio.

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I watched the beginning of the episode where the guy gets killed poolside during the solar eclipse.  I changed the channel, since I really didn't care who the murderer was, but the couple of minutes I saw reminded me of how dumb some of the episodes could be at times.  (most of the time?)

I know it was supposed to be suspenseful music, but it sounded like the eclipse itself was making a droning noise as it happened.  And, the whole thing happened in about 30 seconds.  I'm guessing that there is some type of time vortex in Miami that speeds up eclipses (the same one that allows them to solve murders in less than 24 hours--since we see them wearing the same clothes all episode some times, and the one that enables Caine to travel to South America and back within that same day's time). Finally, everyone was just standing there staring directly into the sun.  Blindness, anyone?

Edited by BooksRule

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I just discovered this show this summer with the WE binge-a-thon,  and it's now a guilty pleasure.  It's such a pretty show (I do love looking at Horatio) I can suspend disbelief and enjoy it.  There are a couple of silly things, though, that make me laugh.  I'm only up to the 2009 shows, so maybe later seasons have "fixed" these.  The first is the way the team members snip off the tip of the q-tip and let the top bounce on the table instead of snipping it into a sterile container.  The second is the way Horatio seems to have a Star Trek transporter that beams him into the perfect position to hold a gun to the bad guy without the bad guy noticing.  Does Horatio tiptoe in on rubber soled shoes?  He never seems to be out of breath, and his clothing is never rumpled.

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It is a pretty show, isn't it?  I could probably be happy just putting the set on 'mute' and watching the scenery.  I like the sherbet colors that most of them wear, too.  There's one episode that I can't remember the name of (but if I come across it again I'll make a note) where I think almost everyone in the episode wears the same color shirt/blouse--it's kind of a melon or salmon color.  They were very coordinated color-wise that time!  

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On 7/24/2016 at 2:47 PM, Pfj99 said:

I just discovered this show this summer with the WE binge-a-thon,  and it's now a guilty pleasure.  It's such a pretty show (I do love looking at Horatio) I can suspend disbelief and enjoy it.  There are a couple of silly things, though, that make me laugh.  I'm only up to the 2009 shows, so maybe later seasons have "fixed" these.  The first is the way the team members snip off the tip of the q-tip and let the top bounce on the table instead of snipping it into a sterile container.  The second is the way Horatio seems to have a Star Trek transporter that beams him into the perfect position to hold a gun to the bad guy without the bad guy noticing.  Does Horatio tiptoe in on rubber soled shoes?  He never seems to be out of breath, and his clothing is never rumpled.

THIS is why I irrationally love Horatio!!!

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I find myself watching the binge-a-thons all the time on WE.

One thing that annoys me is that at first they almost always have picked the wrong people as the perpetrators.  Episode that is on now, really telling these two people, who had nothing to do with any of the crimes on this episode, well you'd better hope that xxxxx is found alive.  Being especially snide and rude - never see them say sorry, we got it wrong.  

The actual person who is a detective, Tripp, sure has to play a backseat to the rest - who are lab workers.  No real CSI would chase, interrogate, shoot suspects like this team does.  They might assist the detectives, but they wouldn't lead the investigation.  Maybe that's why they're so bad at pointing the finger at the wrong person.  Yet, I continue to watch........

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Hi, people. I am new to CSI anything and I just saw the season 7 wood chipper episode. 

 

I feel the need for some PTSD counseling-- for everything from dripping wood chipper guts to really really crappy acting. Any advice? Or are you all going to just laugh at me and say, "Bitchplease, that ain't nothing."

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I feel the need for some PTSD counseling-- for everything from dripping wood chipper guts to really really crappy acting. Any advice? Or are you all going to just laugh at me and say, "Bitchplease, that ain't nothing."

I'm afraid for me, it's going to be Bitch please that ain't nothing.  I mean, complaining about bad acting on CSI:Miami is like complaining about rain in London.  It's always there and you either learn to love it or just stop watching.  I will give you that the wood chipper parts were especially gross, even on this show.  But the bad acting?  That's why I watch the show--it's just so damn funny!

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Well, I continued with the marathon, so I guess that means I found that place you did vis a vis the zen of bad acting.  And anyway, if they were shooting 30 episodes per season, I guess I have to give them a pass given they probably had little time to rehearse.

 

And I'm a Walking Dead fan, so I'm not  particularly squeamish, so the fact that the wood chipper scene made me  jump kind of surprised me. But then I saw the acid swimming pool ep and thought,"Bitchplease, woodchippers ain't nothing."

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