S17.E14: Qualifiers 2 Results

[Mr. Sparkle]

Two acts from the previous night’s show move on to the final round of the competition.

Airs Wednesday, August 17th, 8:00 PM EDT. 

[Mr. Sparkle]

I'm actually pleasantly surprised that Yu went through instead of Maddie. Maddie is talented, but needs some more experience. 

Jon Dorenbos must have the same agent as Sethward. 

[ams1001]

Wow, Brown Brothers over Fusion Japan? I was surprised enough to pause the Legal Eagle video I was watching on Youtube and write this comment. Wasn't sure about guy singer vs ring aerialsts, but Weird Fairy Singer vs. Golden-Buzzer Kid Singer was pretty obvious.

Magician vs. two bad-to-mediocre comedians...gee, I wonder...

And Chapel Heart vs. Drumline was obvious, too.

I'm gonna predict Chapel Heart and Magician for the final 2. [I'm 2 for 2 so far on the results!]

"Sophia, which letter do you want?" "I tell you?" 🙄

Everybody cheer for Terry's uncanny ability to... identify helmet colors... 👏🏻

[Mr. Sparkle]

6 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

Wow, Brown Brothers over Fusion Japan?

That was the biggest mistake of the night, IMO. Still, I didn't see either of them going much further. 

[ams1001]

2 minutes ago, Superclam said:

That was the biggest mistake of the night, IMO. Still, I didn't see either of them going much further. 

I mean, I did say last night I'd vote for them, but between the two of them I thought the dancers would go through.

[Frisky Wig]

My mom: “oh god, it’s the stupid pants guy! Please send him home!” We’re both very happy he was sent home. Hated his smarmy little smirk. 
 

The Brown Brothers were NOT better than Fusion Japan last night. The second half of the voices they did were just not good. 
 

The part of the show where the contestants talk about how “I had 173 followers on TikTok and now I have 56,000!!” always bums me out because it makes me sad what we live in a world where success is measured in social media likes and followers. 

Edited August 18, 2022 by Frisky Wig

[rr2911]

Let me start with Jon Dorenbos.  What a big fail of a trick.  Heidi was suppose to pick 20, so I imagine something went wrong in the bucket.  I've never been impressed with his stuff.  I could see there was someone in back of those lockers.  Well, it turned out to be 4 young women.  Bad performance all around!

I was happy that America saw what I saw in that magician.  He really deserved to go through.

I didn't get to post my Qualifier 2 reviews, but I did want to mention something I noticed about Chapel Hart.  After their audition, their popularity sky rocketed!  Many posts were about how they sounded more country than what is played on the radio.  How they brought back that good 'ol country sound not heard in years.  Yet yesterday, they sounded just like another start up group hoping for some airplay.  Yesterday's performance wasn't anything special by any means, but the writing is already on the wall.  I'd rather see them go through now than the judges bring them back as a Wild Card.

There was something about Maddie I didn't like.  Maybe it was the stunt that Terry Crews pulled supposedly on Simon Cowell, making him think they had discovered her in the audience.  I know that wasn't her fault, but she played along and siezed that moment.  Or maybe it was that she already has a career and appeared in a Netflix series.  Maybe it was the runs that she always ends her songs and thinks that is enough to go through, while ignoring all the shouting she did before.  In any case I'm glad she's gone.

Next week, I see 2 more singers going through, which would make it 5 singers/groups.  That's already too much.  

Edited August 18, 2022 by rr2911

[InternetToughGuy]

Finally, a scenario where the public's votes aren't immediately funnelled from the ballot box directly into a garbage can, though that also means I won't get to wrestle my brother in law in the driveway over political ideologies that we don't actually understand. This was boring crap, though. Having such a lengthy recap from last night makes sense due to so many people losing consciousness, but having to relive it is annoying. Fusion Japan was obviously not going to make it, but still depressing - good thing the group has so many men to put the blame on. I'd say they should be punished with working in the coal mines, but Japan's only world export is anime for perverts, so 1000 hours of low paid keyframe drawing should be enough.

The Sonic lounge seems utterly pointless, especially since it seems everyone was just pretending to eat it. Hearing the brand name did make me have a eureka moment in concluding "the speed of sound" is fake. As usual, no explanation will be given.

Jon Dorenbos was an act that once again made me feel as if I was really there, not due to sensory immersion, but because I felt like a baby crying out for my Game Boy needing to be distracted, since the setup took forever. The current date trick with 4 lockers could be done at any time in the future, as I believe the years will go until 6000 and then start over, at least that's the conclusion me and my pastor made while wearing horse blinders at the dinosaur exhibit and destroying any display piece that didn't attribute a scientific discovery to Christ. The cheerleaders coming out was a nice touch, although made me feel inferior, as the women I keep caged in my cellar never look half as lively. Shortly after they emerged, the TV closed captioning mistakenly said one of the girls was only to turn 18 next week, which made me look away with my eyes covered and then issue an apology to the miserable Twitter mob. Online subservience in the pursuit of retweets is normal behavior compared to that, I say as my unwashed ass judgingly glares out the window at my young neighbors with a 2 year age gap relationship.

The top 2 were exactly who you'd think. Someone in Chapel Hart must be sleeping with a producer to get so much preferential onscreen treatment, possibly one whose fetish is eating several hundred pounds of chocolate in bed (the other kind, since the term for the usual definition would simply be "American"). Boring show, but next week's torture looks decent.

Edited August 18, 2022 by InternetToughGuy

[Neet]

Tonight was yet another election process where million of dollars are spent despite everyone involved knowing the results long in advance, except the only difference is the lack of AGT fans for me to try running off the road when hallucinating that somebody said something bad about "my guy". Anyway,

Sonic lounge - Not much of a lounge when every act has to go in there to eat processed garbage one at a time out of paranoia they'll get sick, which is an irony lost on many.

Social media numbers - Of course they have to mention how many views the auditions have, since the majority of the world tunes out when they're over. Fusion Japan mentioned getting 8 million views, which I guess is impressive their whole apartment complex came together to support them. I imagine a lot of the Facebook views come from people over the age of 35, so it might make sense how some previous contestants manage to tour the US due to the audience having a semblance of attention span remaining (my secretary finished this sentence while I nodded off at a gaming livestream) and being able to remember who everyone is later.

Jon Dorenbos - He has to remind everyone that he used to play football 20 years ago, which is a pathetic trope of "small town guy can't let go of his youth" until announcing it on a huge stage becomes a selling point. Yes, he played pro football, but I'll assume it was some fluffy lingerie football league to feel masculine. I admit to being intrigued by the name branded jerseys, as I have a treasure trove of autographed apparel in my 'short man-cave' from men who are more athletic, famous and wealthy than I am, and would probably punt my head if politely asking for a photo. Jon's charisma made it seem like the fuck-up with the number 20 was on purpose and he'd segue into that TV informercial-style "but wait, there's more!", yet that was all. "I thought you were going to pick #20", what a mess. I hurled insults at the screen until realizing he's taller than shown on the TV's aspect ratio and submissively tried to tie his shoes on instinct like we're in prison. Anyway, Terry prefaced this performance by saying "we know you like magicians". Not so much after this, most likely.

Results:
Chapel Hart vs. Pack Drumline - Cue the familiar quote of "there's nobody who looks like us in the ___ industry" despite various examples already existing + everyone who's black being pit against each other, which activated my programming as a lifelong CNN regurgitator.

Yu Hojin vs. Aiko Tanaka vs. Pants - Again, the same races being lumped together in the results, as Pants was probably manufactured overseas. Yu looked nervous because he couldn't predict Terry's card, thus outing himself as the fraud I always suspected he was.

Nothing much else to say. The results got narrowed down further and the most predictable contestants in Chapel Hart and Yu Hojin got through, but everyone saw the show and doesn't need me imitating Walter Kronkite to recap that.

Next week is an onslaught of singers, which makes me hope this show is The Voice so I can turn my chair the other way in defiance.

[Vermicious Knid]

The men of Fusion Japan were surprisingly poor breakdancers, so I expected them to be eliminated. The women were much better. I do wonder if Aiko hung out with them backstage and they talked smack about everyone else in Japanese. Americer generally loves the precocious child singers so I was mildly surprised to see Yu make it over Maddie. Not a terrible outcome for this season.

[Lonesome Rhodes]

This week it did not seem to me we got the actual Top 5 in the 5 we saw standing in the penultimate segment.

I am a little stunned that the Korean magician went through.  Is this a time when TPTB ignored Ameriker's actual choice?  Not saying he did not merit moving on from this mess of a semi-final.

 Dorenbos had always delivered in his many appearances.  How on earth did he seed the hat with two eights?  Wanna bet if this were taped he would get a do-over?

Speaking of...we got some perfect examples of the advantages of editing for dance/stunt acts.  The Fusion group looked much better with the slow/stop-motion effects plugged in.  So, too, Chapel Hart with the perfect camera shot choices and placements.  Several close-ups were seen which would just not be possible under live conditions.  

No way am I gonna watch next week's singer-palooza show without FF capability.  

[Diana Berry]

Not all that impressed with chapel hart but they seem like nice ladies .  Ditto for Yu who also seems nice.

the football player magician seemed pretty mad at the end.  Anyone want to spoil what happened to make the trick go wrong?

[ams1001]

29 minutes ago, Diana Berry said:

Not all that impressed with chapel hart but they seem like nice ladies .  Ditto for Yu who also seems nice.

the football player magician seemed pretty mad at the end.  Anyone want to spoil what happened to make the trick go wrong?

All I know is somehow Simon and Heidi both picked the same number, and Heidi was supposed to pick a different one. Felt a little bad for him; as these long-winded magicians go, he's one of the most likable ones for me.

[PBnJay]

I was so positive that the final two would be two more singers, so was happy (and surprised) the magician went through. I actually thought Chapel Hill didn't sound all that good in their performance the night before. I do get a kick out of their sob story of "working so hard" to "make it" in Nashville to no avail. Girls, EVERY singer in every bar in that town have been working for years to get a break, that's just how that town is. What did you expect? 

Just a big WOW to Dorenbos' epic fail. Good thing he's already won this show or he'd be going home next week.

Edited August 20, 2022 by PBnJay

[Tango64]

Dorenbos must have been so mad with himself afterward.

I suspect the bag (hat, whatever it was) has different compartments inside that he subtly manipulates when he handles it, making only the desired compartment available to that judge. Probably soft dividers that he moves to make only one compartment open at a time, which all have multiple slips of the same desired number. He screwed it up and let Heidi pick from the wrong compartment.