S17.E12: Qualifiers 1 Results

[Mr. Sparkle]

Two acts from the previous night’s show move on to the final round of the competition.

Airs Wednesday, August 10th, 8:00 PM EDT. 

[ams1001]

Does Sarah Hyland really warrant that level of screaming?

I didn't like Dustin Tavella when he was in the competition and absence has not made my heart grow fonder. God that was painfully awkwardly drawn-out. (And of course he had to bring his kids into it.) 

A game of Password? They're really stretching to fill this hour, aren't they? I watched Password last night after the show. I had mixed feelings if I would keep watching (so much screaming and drama!). (Of course they're promoing it...Heidi is on the episode that's on after this.) 

I predict Drake and Avery for the top two. [And I was right.]

[Mr. Sparkle]

The only real surprise was that Dustin Tavella got even worse. 

[rr2911]

.  I thought the America picked the correct two contestants moving to the finals.

.  I'm liking this new format.  This is actually how the finals could and should be, letting America pick who advances each round without any judges influence.

.  The AGT judges actually played a better version of Password than the actual game show.  I saw Password last night and half of it after AGT, GAWD the show is awful!!  

Well, on to next week!

[Vermicious Knid]

Dustin does not do patter very well.

Thank the technology gods for DVRs. I think this only took about 15 minutes to get through with lots of fast-forwarding. Two entirely predictable acts advance. How I long for the likes of Kenichi Ebina [sigh].

Next week's crop looks more interesting.

[InternetToughGuy]

Can "this show is good" be called a conspiracy theory if absolutely no one believes it? Last night's show was actually OK, but somehow a show half as long felt like 3 hours. There's no impulse to try and write anything (only I believe is) humorous since nothing happened at all.

The first 10 minutes are spent rehashing what we already saw and further killed any good will yesterday's episode might have had.

With the slogan "America runs on Dunkin" likely being found to be false advertising due to most of the population being unable to run or even get off the sofa, I guess Dunkin pulled out - either that or the show's viewership has been halved. Being serious, I don't get why Sonic or anyone would want to advertise on here, since Americans don't need to be coaxed or subliminally fooled into craving junk food, though I guess spending a few million means nothing to them.

Skipping all the dreck of narrowing down the acts, I blissfully forgot I didn't watch AGT last year so I have no idea who this magician is. Unlike the usual AGT acts, he gave a real taste of what a performance at one of his shows would be like with the extremely drawn out setup. Everyone's attention spans are so fried, I'd hope every seat at the venue he performs at has a Playstation built in, because even sitting at home I felt like wriggling. The pretentious coat of paint (no pun intended) all magicians incorporate into these acts are so irritating since these wax poetic speeches sound nice in a Rumi book, but nobody really thinks in these metaphors, so it's just pretentious.

Sarah Hyland (annoyingly) joined the act and promoted Love Island, which unless it is floating in lawless international waters is probably far too tame for a country so addicted to porn.

Breaking down who got eliminated like I'm a hockey commentator screeching in overtime is pointless since everyone already watched, so just to comment on the top 2:

Drake always has an annoying facial expression along the lines of "It's all given to me", unless I am just confusing that with being unceasingly attractive. He's good, but the aura of being spoiled or having the unofficial title of the anointed one that every season seems to have one of ruins the appeal.

Since black don't crack, I am confused why (assumedly) 45 year old Avery is always being followed around by his 45 year old Mother. Idiocy aside, I have no idea how old he is, especially since sob stories from 30 years ago on this show are treated just as serious as ones that are still ongoing. I would have rather had Don, so I feel total apathy about this.

Mercy what a boring show.

Edited August 11, 2022 by InternetToughGuy

[Neet]

Tonight was the first show with voting results, but it just doesn't feel like a real electoral process without wrestling my neighbor on the front lawn over our respective programmed beliefs. It's tough to see so many people go because you wish they could all get a million dollars, although that will soon be minimum wage post-hyperinflation. The credits still mention how the payment can be made over a 40 year annuity, which doesn't make that sound too farfetched anymore.

- Because there are only two acts to put through, they had to waste infinite time making a pseudo top five and have everybody praise the Almighty until being eliminated 20 minutes later.

- Due to not watching AGT last season (and feeling years younger for it), Dustin Tavella looked like a random bum auditioning for the first time.
It was still easy to see how he was a magician, due to his hat that served no purpose at all managing to levitate on his head. When he wrote the word 'magic' and stylized it like an Xb0x G@m3rt@g, the reveal was way too easy to see coming. The most impressive trick of all would be from a magician who can do a routine without forcing the theme to be about 'chasing ur dreams' and other hokey crap that has nothing to do with the performance. Sarah Hyland came out to help with the trick and received a massive applause, presumably solely because she looked decent 10 years ago, since she was quite annoying blithering on about nothing like an old hairdresser at the salon. Dustin ended the trick by holding a laser pointer in his fist and pretending to throw the light into the audience, as if they held their phones up in unison at random instead of him literally instructing them to do so 30 seconds earlier. A jilted contestant could rush the stage and lunge at Terry, prompting the same thousand phones to be hoisted in the air to film without being asked, so it was a pointless conclusion.

Results:
- Avery is obviously being presented as the golden boy despite clearly being black, so good on them for not seeing color. He's probably going to win the show, with the entire two weeks we're given to become enchanted by him. For how much they complain about his bullying, millions of people are pushing him and he's suspiciously silent about that.

- Drake is already becoming a pain in the ass because he's seemingly on the show as a quick media tour to promote everything he already has going on. I'll assume his whole life has been opportunities on a silver platter without evidence to justify my cattiness.

- Great idea to put all of the solo acts to the right side of the stage through to the next round and have the groups filled with 30 pissed off men required to walk past them.

Two musical acts being put through was disappointing but very typical. Somehow, next week looks much worse.

[Lonesome Rhodes]

A bad round of auditions inevitably leads to a lousy results show.  Boy, was that ever true this time.

Worst returning champion act I have ever seen.  The synchronized illumination of all those phones was cool.  Too bad it was very, very, badly executed.  I do wonder how they hacked the phones.  If I were in the audience, I would not be happy about that.

It seemed to me that the putative 5 were the actual top 5 of the voting.

[Mr. Sparkle]

8 hours ago, rr2911 said:

.  I'm liking this new format.  This is actually how the finals could and should be, letting America pick who advances each round without any judges influence.

I totally agree. The best part is we only have to see these acts one more time at the most. With the semi-finals and then the finals, those back story packages went on forever. 

[PBnJay]

Well, neither of the two that went through were my favorites. I missed seeing Drake, didn't even know he was on, so I guess that's when I fell asleep. If Dustin's crummy fake "magic" act was an audition, he deserved four Xs. That SUCKED big time. He's gotten worse and my guess is last night's appearance will put a big crimp on tickets sales to see him IRL. Anyway, it should.

I did get a laugh out of Simon being pissed when the singer got voted off. Don't worry Simon, you can still get her to sign a contract.

[InternetToughGuy]

12 hours ago, Vermicious Knid said:

Next week's crop looks more interesting.

*crap - damn autocorrect 😅

[Tango64]

Last night I couldn’t bear watching that douchey magician so I fast forwarded through it. Couldn’t stand him as a contestant.

But after reading the comments I had to go back and see what he did.

Well, he still comes off like the 40-year-old youth pastor trying to keep it real with the kids.  That backwards cap, sneakers, so out there with his feels…

The magic/dreamer was the trick??? That’s all? That’s like something your third grader is eager to show you after getting off the school bus.

The phone kicker was not impressive either. Notice how the audience had been given props to wave at certain points in the show? They probably were given rigged phones too, or “phones.” I seriously doubt the audience is allowed to enter with their own phones because the producers don’t want to risk unapproved, candid video leaking out. 

[PBnJay]

5 hours ago, Tango64 said:

The magic/dreamer was the trick??? That’s all? That’s like something your third grader is eager to show you after getting off the school bus.

But not if your third grader knew how to print the alphabet. If he had written "magic" with a real G and C and I, the trick (and lightning will strike me for even calling it a trick) wouldn't have worked. I kept staring at that big paper when he wrote the word because I couldn't figure out what those squiggles were and why it didn't even look like a word, much less like "magic." 

[CruiseDiva]

On 8/11/2022 at 2:43 AM, Neet said:

- Drake is already becoming a pain in the ass because he's seemingly on the show as a quick media tour to promote everything he already has going on. I'll assume his whole life has been opportunities on a silver platter without evidence to justify my cattiness.

I met Drake and his mom on The Elvis Cruise in 2007 when Drake was only 9 years old and have followed his musical journey since then. He primarily performed Elvis' early music as a tribute artist and played the part of Elvis in the TV show Sun Records. His goal to become a country singer-songwriter is now becoming a reality. Folks, he's the real deal--very talented and charming. Not at all a spoiled young man who's been given opportunities on a silver platter. He's a hard working pro who's making it on his own in the very competitive country music industry.

[Neet]

3 hours ago, CruiseDiva said:

I met Drake and his mom on The Elvis Cruise in 2007 when Drake was only 9 years old and have followed his musical journey since then. He primarily performed Elvis' early music as a tribute artist and played the part of Elvis in the TV show Sun Records. His goal to become a country singer-songwriter is now becoming a reality. Folks, he's the real deal--very talented and charming. Not at all a spoiled young man who's been given opportunities on a silver platter. He's a hard working pro who's making it on his own in the very competitive country music industry.

That's interesting, and I don't doubt he put in a lot of work to get where he is. AGT just has a way of pushing a few select contestants down the audience's throat every year, so it's easy to think they don't have to struggle much, even when not the case. The 'silver platter' comment was facetious, by the way.

[CruiseDiva]

2 minutes ago, Neet said:

That's interesting, and I don't doubt he put in a lot of work to get where he is. AGT just has a way of pushing a few select contestants down the audience's throat every year, so it's easy to think they don't have to struggle much, even when not the case. The 'silver platter' comment was facetious, by the way.

Thanks for clarifying your comment! I had never watched AGT before so wasn't aware of the format or even certain that viewers' votes actually count. After seeing Drake on stage as a 9-year old and knowing how many contests he won as a young Elvis Tribute Artist, it's rewarding as a long time 74-year old "fan girl" to see how far he's come in his career. 😍

[ams1001]

14 minutes ago, CruiseDiva said:

I had never watched AGT before so wasn't aware of the format or even certain that viewers' votes actually count.

They've changed the format a bit from the past several years. They used to put through five on each results show; they would call two or three forward and announce one of those was going through based on viewer votes, until three had gone through and three were left, then of those three the one with the most votes would go through, then the judges would pick the from the final two. So the viewers votes didn't entirely count. I hated the judges' pick (and it was always totally predictable who they would pick, too).

Edited August 12, 2022 by ams1001

[rr2911]

On 8/12/2022 at 3:01 PM, Neet said:

That's interesting, and I don't doubt he put in a lot of work to get where he is. AGT just has a way of pushing a few select contestants down the audience's throat every year, so it's easy to think they don't have to struggle much, even when not the case. The 'silver platter' comment was facetious, by the way.

Don't look now, but Chapel Hart is another act the show is going to push on us.  This is another group that is making it  and has gained popularity since the auditions.

[Mr. Sparkle]

1 hour ago, rr2911 said:

Don't look now, but Chapel Hart is another act the show is going to push on us.  This is another group that is making it  and has gained popularity since the auditions.

If I were a real act, I would skip the 40 year annuity and count on all the free publicity. 6 million viewers a performance, plus even the local acts can put "as seen on AGT" on their flyers. 

[Chit Chat]

On 8/10/2022 at 11:57 PM, Vermicious Knid said:

Thank the technology gods for DVRs. I think this only took about 15 minutes to get through with lots of fast-forwarding.

Ditto for me.  Speeding through it, I don't think I missed much.  FWIW, I was rooting for the engineer/comedian.  I loved his bit on traffic and designating the left lane as the 'go for it' lane.  I have added that to my other motto of 'the speed limit is just a suggestion!'  Also,  whenever a person in front of me hesitates too long when the light turns green, I'm screaming (silently) "is there a particular shade of green you're waiting for?"  I forget which comedian I heard that from years ago, but I use it quite often.  ;)   

[gaPeach]

1 hour ago, ChitChat said:

Also,  whenever a person in front of me hesitates too long when the light turns green, I'm screaming (silently) "is there a particular shade of green you're waiting for?"  I forget which comedian I heard that from years ago, but I use it quite often.  ;) 

Hahaha I do that too.  Except I tell them "Well, it isn't going to get any GREENER".  

[rr2911]

1 hour ago, ChitChat said:

Ditto for me.  Speeding through it, I don't think I missed much.  FWIW, I was rooting for the engineer/comedian.  I loved his bit on traffic and designating the left lane as the 'go for it' lane.  I have added that to my other motto of 'the speed limit is just a suggestion!'  Also,  whenever a person in front of me hesitates too long when the light turns green, I'm screaming (silently) "is there a particular shade of green you're waiting for?"  I forget which comedian I heard that from years ago, but I use it quite often.  ;)   

Lol!  I guess you would be screaming silently at me because I do wait a second or two when the light turns green.  I've just seen too many cars passing a red light and have been in close calls.  That delay saved me.  I'll welcome a scream anytime as long as I'm alive!

[Chit Chat]

2 hours ago, rr2911 said:

Lol!  I guess you would be screaming silently at me because I do wait a second or two when the light turns green.  I've just seen too many cars passing a red light and have been in close calls.  That delay saved me.  I'll welcome a scream anytime as long as I'm alive!

I give a second or two also, but it's the ones who aren't paying attention (on the phone/texting) so by the time they realize it's green and get moving, only 1 or 2 cars end up getting through the light!  I'll admit that I'm an impatient driver, so that's on me! 

Did I see it correctly that only 2 people made it through after 2 hours of show last night?   I wonder if a wildcard will save any of them.  

[Mr. Sparkle]

16 minutes ago, ChitChat said:

Did I see it correctly that only 2 people made it through after 2 hours of show last night?   I wonder if a wildcard will save any of them.  

Yes & yes. There is one wildcard, I believe. 

[rr2911]

2 hours ago, Superclam said:

Yes & yes. There is one wildcard, I believe. 

When will the wildcard be played?  Personally, I don't a WC should be played!

[Mr. Sparkle]

7 minutes ago, rr2911 said:

When will the wildcard be played?  Personally, I don't a WC should be played!

Near as I can tell, at the end of these rounds. 5 rounds of 11 whittled down to 2 = 10 + 1 Wildcard to make 11 for the final. 

I don't mind skipping the quarter final and semi-final rounds which have those long and boring backstory packages.