S03.E12: Tell All Part 1

[RoxiP]

My parents did not like my (ex) brother-in-law - but they never spoke of it in front of my niece.  They also did not like my daughter's father (rightfully so by the way) but they never spoke of it in front of my daughter.  Just because you don't like someone doesn't mean you trash talk them in front of the child and hopefully Jessica and her husband refrain in front of the baby.

It wasn't my parents - my sister and I both were HORRIBLE pickers. 

[b2H]

2 hours ago, Birdee said:

Not saying I wish any of those things on him, but the real issue will probably be helping Ava cope with the death of her father.

And if anything would reach Max, it would be the thought of his daughter coping with the death of her father.  I mean, that's right up his alley, given that his mother died in an overdose.  Someone oughta try that tack on him and see if that helps him straighten up a bit.

[Pepper Mostly]

On 11/4/2019 at 5:13 PM, b2H said:

Notice that all of the girls admitted to being on some form of birth control.....  except McKayla.  She was astoundingly quiet in that part of the discussion.

Heh. Wonder if she's pregnant again. 

[Mr. Miner]

[RoxiP]

On ‎11‎/‎6‎/‎2019 at 3:45 PM, b2H said:

And if anything would reach Max, it would be the thought of his daughter coping with the death of her father.  I mean, that's right up his alley, given that his mother died in an overdose.  Someone oughta try that tack on him and see if that helps him straighten up a bit.

You give Max a lot more credit than me (but I'm really cynical).  I don't think he thinks outside of what his own wants and needs are at this point...and of course that is also one of the trademarks of an addict - that total selfishness to his own needs and his own hurts in life.  He is a slave to the drug right now (or else he was if he is no longer in active addiction) and the considerations and needs and feelings of the people around him come in way low on the list (okay, channeling my own experience with addicts here).

[Honey]

On 11/4/2019 at 10:57 PM, lovesnark said:

Me, too! I really hope she somehow develops some self esteem and kicks both of those nasty dirtbags to the curb. I predict Matthew will have at least 6 kids by 6 different females by the time he's 25 and will never pay a penny of child support for any of them. He'll find enough work under the table to keep himself in a beater car, a crappy apartment, methamphetamine, pot and Busch light. He'll never see any of the kids because "their mamas are bitches and don't let me because I don't got no money to give 'em".

This doesn't fly anymore, at least it doesn't in NY, hopefully every state is the same.  Even without a job there is still a minimum amount of child support you must pay.  If you don't pay it, your license will be suspended and/or a warrant issued for your arrest.  Also, the county pays the support to you, and the Daddy/Mommy pays the county.

[Honey]

On 11/5/2019 at 1:10 PM, NannyBails said:

I think Hailey 1 is doomed unless she's got some other family members or friends who can steer her towards therapy and help her identify ways to get out of her current situation.   I just don't see her mother being mature enough to be able to do this.

And Matthew repulses, me, too.  I keep thinking if the options were him or no sex at all, the choice wouldn't even be close.  I'd be a virgin forever!!!  There must be VERY slim pickings where they live.

She didn't have sex with Matthew because she wanted sex, she had sex with Matthew because she wanted Matthew.

[lovesnark]

4 hours ago, Honey said:

This doesn't fly anymore, at least it doesn't in NY, hopefully every state is the same.  Even without a job there is still a minimum amount of child support you must pay.  If you don't pay it, your license will be suspended and/or a warrant issued for your arrest.  Also, the county pays the support to you, and the Daddy/Mommy pays the county.

They do something similar here in WA. But, it doesn't do much to keep them off the road. I know of a guy who has been arrested for driving on a suspended over a dozen times and he keeps driving. He's in arrears about $20k in child support, hence the suspended license. The mother of his daughter works and doesn't get any sort of help from the state.  If she was on pubic assistance, they would include the ordered support, then go after him for repayment. Matthew will figure out a way to skirt the system (by working under the table)and will probably wind up in jail repeatedly because of it. 

[Honey]

3 minutes ago, lovesnark said:

They do something similar here in WA. But, it doesn't do much to keep them off the road. I know of a guy who has been arrested for driving on a suspended over a dozen times and he keeps driving. He's in arrears about $20k in child support, hence the suspended license. The mother of his daughter works and doesn't get any sort of help from the state.  If she was on pubic assistance, they would include the ordered support, then go after him for repayment. Matthew will figure out a way to skirt the system (by working under the table)and will probably wind up in jail repeatedly because of it. 

Well good.  A tender, young thing like him? He'll get all the sex he wants in jail.  It just won't be with a woman, and he definitely will be disrespected.

[StatisticalOutlier]

On 11/6/2019 at 2:45 PM, b2H said:

And if anything would reach Max, it would be the thought of his daughter coping with the death of her father.  I mean, that's right up his alley, given that his mother died in an overdose.  Someone oughta try that tack on him and see if that helps him straighten up a bit.

But think about people who were molested as children.  You'd think they'd be the last people on earth to do it to someone else, but it happens all the time.  And that's without mind-altering drugs in their systems. 

[RoxiP]

What Max needs to do is get real about his addiction and go to a long term facility.  I had a good friend who went to a 2-year program - minimum of at least 18 months in-patient then they move to a sober living facility.  After the first 90 days they have to work - taught him much needed lessons about responsibility and accountability and showing up in your own life every day.

[mamadrama]

Am I the only one who hates the teens and parents' explanation of "well, we/they are teenagers and that's what everyone's doing"? No, it's not. The misconception is that "everyone" is having intercourse, but that's not the reality. Some aren't having sexual relations at all. Some are having oral sex but not intercourse. A 15 year old girl having sex before making out is not normal. (Though, to be fair, I kinda get it. To kiss Ratthew she'd have to look at him.) I have no study to cite from, but since there are more teens who are NOT parents than those who are, it either means they aren't having sex or they're smart enough to use protection. So these kids can GTFO with their "everyone does it" chorus. I'm not naive in that teens have sexual relationships, but the same thing was said when I was in high school-that "everyone's" doing it. It wasn't true then, either. These articular kids are careless and irresponsible and they have nobody to blame but themselves (and maybe a few of the parents). 

[RoxiP]

On ‎2‎/‎9‎/‎2020 at 3:19 PM, mamadrama said:

Am I the only one who hates the teens and parents' explanation of "well, we/they are teenagers and that's what everyone's doing"? No, it's not. The misconception is that "everyone" is having intercourse, but that's not the reality. Some aren't having sexual relations at all. Some are having oral sex but not intercourse. A 15 year old girl having sex before making out is not normal. (Though, to be fair, I kinda get it. To kiss Ratthew she'd have to look at him.) I have no study to cite from, but since there are more teens who are NOT parents than those who are, it either means they aren't having sex or they're smart enough to use protection. So these kids can GTFO with their "everyone does it" chorus. I'm not naive in that teens have sexual relationships, but the same thing was said when I was in high school-that "everyone's" doing it. It wasn't true then, either. These articular kids are careless and irresponsible and they have nobody to blame but themselves (and maybe a few of the parents). 

Yep, right up there with "well everybody is smoking pot" argument in my book.