LibertarianSlut

^^^ Ah, that makes sense! I feel a little foolish now. Maybe I was distracted that this doctor looked exactly what it would be like if House’s Dr. Lisa Cutty and Dr. Phil’s wife, Robin, had a baby. 😂

I’ll have more to comment on tomorrow, since I don’t think I’m doing anything 😀, but how are Catelynn, Maci and Cheyenne dumb enough to go on TV and act like attacking your fiancé with a machete when he has your child in his arms is something that passively happens to a person? Seriously, did anyone have any idea what the fuck Caitlynn’s doctor was talking about when she kept referring to the “family medicine” that Caitlynn would need years(!) to get off? Was that some kind of therapy-speak for “medicine your family doctor prescribed that he had no business prescribing, because I out-doctor him”? Because that’s some BS. I’ve been on Zoloft, it didn’t work, I stopped taking it, and I didn’t have one side effect. I think this is more absolving of personal responsibility (see Amber, above). This is the order of personal responsibility I think they take, from worst to best: Amber Caitlynn Cheyenne Maci Mackenzie I’ll be back tomorrow to talk about the illegal drugs I think Ryan and Josh are definitely on.

I caught part of season 2 today, and I also watched episode one of season one. I’m going to watch more of season two tomorrow, but I get the feeling the season is going to pick up a lot once they go to Cabo, so I’m going to list some of the observations I made today, and I’ll probably come back tomorrow, seeing as how this is my temporary full-time job: Lisa was a fucking bitch back then too. She riles people up, makes demeaning comments, and shoos them away before they can defend themselves. One thing that stood out to me was how self-serving it was to have “Sur Lounge” printed on the side of her gay pride float, along with everyone having “SUR” body-painted onto them, instead of, I dunno, “pride”? She is not funny. She is offensive, and I don’t use that word lightly. There was one point Stassi and Scheana were arguing and Lisa said, “this isn’t about you; this is about gay pride. Now, shut up and shake your ass.” The number of things that were wrong with that statement...I don’t have enough fingers to count Stassi was also a fucking bitch back then, but her outfits were so much better, as was her body (as was pretty much everyone’s body). Something happened to her with Patrick. It’s like he permanently took something sharp, bright and interesting away from her. Maybe it was just age, though I have found people tend to get more interesting when they go from their twenties to thirties I would have hated Scheana too if I were Stassi. She came on pretty much hoping to be hated. She said she was a cheerleader through the end of high school (as opposed to “just” a cheerleader through high school?), she never wanted to tell the truth about fucking Eddie Cibrian—first it was, “I never sold a story!” Then, when Stassi pressed her, she said Eddie told her he was separated, which is so lame. Her music was selected for her. She claimed people came up to her thinking she was Brittney Spears, and when they thought that, she would just sign shit for them! She was (still is) a walking, talking idiot stereotype, and she was low-key flirting with Jax in a way that men don’t pick up on, and I’m glad Stassi was such a big bitch to put her in her place, even though Stassi as a bitch is someone I usually can’t stand Jax told the Toms that he had cancer when all he had was a mass, so the lying started early and often Katie was...kinda nice! Kristen looks so much better now than she did in season two. As much as I love me some Kristen, I was surprised how much her situation with Tom mirrored the situation with Carter, and I sympathize with her friends, though they’re not very sensitive Kristina (Christina?) was a huge presence back then. I can’t decide if I love her or hate her, except what made up my mind for me was... I decided I love Kristina, because she was suspicious of Ariana from the beginning, who was awful. Kristen didn’t do anything to Ariana at this point in time, but Ariana came out loaded for bear for Kristen, having a lunch with Scheana during which time she listed every way she was better than Kristen (I’m prettier than you. I’m smarter than you. I’m cooler than you...deal with it). Tom was flirting so inappropriately with Ariana that another server even made a big thing about it, and Ariana deflected by saying Kristen is mentally ill, and that she likely has bipolar disorder (yet this is the bitch who didn’t want anyone saying a bad word about her rapey brother two seasons ago). And when Kristen confronted Ariana in a very neutral, non-threatening way, Ariana said “no” to the question of whether she and Tom had kissed. So she is the psycho and the liar, not Kristen. I’ll never see Ariana in a sympathetic light again. What she did was pretty evil. Sandoval was no prize either The Stassi and Sandoval hate goes back really far There are clues even back then as to how crazy and how annoying Stassi’s mother and brother, respectively, would become I kind of loved how much Stassi owned her bitchiness in the very first episode when Jax called her the devil and she was like, “I am the devil.” I just think that’s more refreshing than the minimizing and apologizing that a lot of women do, like, “I’m not the devil, I’m the sweetest girl you’ll ever meet” (ugh), but by season two, when she was not dating Jax, but just had him in this weird suspension where he was supposed to be her faithful whipping boy, it got kind of outrageous. She had no call to get so mad that he made out with a 21 year old if she wasn’t going to have him. At the same time, she was so evil and Jax was so evil, that I didn’t feel bad for anyone, so that worked out nicely For better or for worse, I don’t think the show will ever be the same without Stassi running it. I was shocked at how much of a “lead” she and Jax were

I just realized it’s episode 12 already. What the hell can Brett possibly do in the next (roughly) eight episodes to justify appearing in the opening?!? Fuck his best friend’s girlfriend? Fuck everyone on this show? Get in a bunch of fistfights? He’d have to become Jax on coke and steroids (but I repeat myself) for his inclusion in the opening not to have been an epic error.

Why is Max so sweaty at work? It’s gross for a restaurant/bar manager to be sweating like that. Max thinks he can ban Danica from TomTom, thus losing business for the establishment, because he doesn’t want people coming in that he doesn’t want to look at? Hey bud, welcome to the restaurant industry! What is this accent they have? Danica, Raquel, Max, Dayna and Scheana all sound so strange to my ear. I understand there is a Southern California accent—my cousins have it—but they sound so much more educated than this. These people pronounce their a’s like o’s and they seem to add an extra syllable to every wordaaaaa. Do they think this sounds current? Because it sounds eighties. WTF? There is nothing novel or interesting or entertaining about Daug’s funeral. Nothing says “running out of things to shoot” like a funeral for a lizard. Was that a tea set or a tea cup that Lisa got them? Why would she think they would use that? The two of them drink beer and tequila exclusively. Who summons you to their house to receive a gift? To quote Ted Dansen, “that’s not a gift, that’s a problem.” Katie with the pulled-back hair and glasses with a black knit poncho over faded orange overalls (?) at the lizard funeral was such an unattractive look. Possibly the dumpiest I’ve ever seen her. The flashback of Katie having “so much going on” was hilarious. The producers clearly hate her and I’m living for it. Brittney looked really heavy really suddenly. Her shoulders were like a linebacker’s. I don’t remember her like this in prior episodes. It’s like she expanded overnight after her wedding. The same thing happened to Bethenny Frankel right after her wedding...but Bethenny was seven months pregnant. Brittney’s weight gain was so sudden I would not have believed Brittney when she told Lisa she wasn’t pregnant, except for the obvious. When Kristen caught Brittney wearing the wedding robe and Brittney said, “I just can’t give this wedding up,” complete with an open mouthed chuckle/guffaw (and possibly even a foot stomp), I threw up a little bit in my mouth. Holy shit, Dayna, he’s just not that into you! He wants to go back to fucking randos, he doesn’t want to be exclusive, and, by freaking out, you gave him an out that he is going to ride to the end of the earth. My God, does the man have to take out an ad in the newspaper that he is not interested? Desperate much? I posted in an earlier episode’s thread that I wanted to see Raquel with no makeup. Be careful what you wish for. So Raquel asks Lala if she truly thinks she’s stupid and Lala responds that she wouldn’t waste her time on a “true idiot” and Raquel is beaming with pride. I...think Lala answered your question Raquel. Also, all the goodwill Lala built up with me was lost with that mismatching cheetah outfit (just kidding...sorta). James, Lala kind of beat you to the punch with the sobriety thing. It’s not like VanderPump weddings, where I can get excited about them over and over again, no matter how odious the players (ahem, Jax and Brittney). One sober storyline is about all I can handle, given that the job description is basically to get drunk and make an asshole of yourself. If Raquel wasn’t a dummy, why wouldn’t she just say that the party that Logan was referring to happened before James got “sober”? I assume the chip he picked up at the AA meeting was a 24 hour chip. Anything before that would be “pre-AA,” so it shouldn’t be surprising that James was lying, doing drugs, and lying about doing drugs. She couldn’t think of that? I’m not surprised that James continued to lie about it, because that’s what he does, but I’m surprised Raquel couldn't come up with such a convenient lie. I just kinda thought of something when they showed Charli...does she continue to bring up pasta and how she’s never eaten pasta in some effort of reviving the bizarre popularity of “it’s not about the pasta”? If so, that’s about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard, which puts her on par with the rest of the new people + Scheana. Who cast this mess? The second Katie said “I want to have a girls’ night,” I was like, “oh, this is completely about being mean to Kristen.” Up sidles Kristen, and the rest writes itself. Next week looks amazing!!

Is it bad if I think Danielle's worst offense was giving Melissa an entree to this show?

Jackie said she grew up on Staten Island, and her family didn’t have money until she was 13. I think those were ill-gotten gains, because her parents weren’t incarcerated until she was older. Best guess as to why she came on the show? There’s good evidence that she was a close follower of Teresa since the beginning, so she probably combed the show for years, grinned lazily at Evan and said, “ya know, Evan, I can do better than that.” She probably came on the show thinking she was going to be a combo of Bethenny and Carole from RHNYC: above-it-all writer girl who would watch and observe and either make Teresa her minion—a feat that’s never occurred on Bravo—or go to war with Teresa and expose her (“WOULD YOUR HUSBAND BE IN JAIL if you could control him?”) and I think she underestimated fan loyalty and overestimated how far a degree from Fordham Law would get her on Bravo if she allows the likes of Dolores Catania get to her. I hate Bethenny and Carole, but they both had more formidable presences than Jackie. Jackie may be good at making long term plans, but she’s not good at improvising. I think that was the final nail in Carole’s coffin on RHNYC as well—when Bethenny served it to Carole at the season 10 reunion, with some real low-blows and all that, Carole didn’t really know how to get in the gutter to respond, and she was off the show soon thereafter. That’s why I like the Jennifer-Jackie friendship (RIP). They were like yin and yang. There is no future on this show for a Jackie-Melissa alliance. They’re too milquetoast and Melissa’s loyalty will always be to the almighty dollar, which is her presence on this show, which means she’d pick Teresa over Jackie if it came down to it.

I’m just curious, but what could possibly be the grounds for the lawsuit? Maybe a new cause of action has arisen in California that I haven’t heard about. But I’m pretty sure there was no NDA in place between Reza, Tommy and MJ, which would be breach of contract. It can’t be defamation, because the information that Reza shared came from MJ and Tommy, so it would be presumed to be true. It’s obviously not a HIPAA violation, so...what would be the theory of the case? If “being a jerk” or “spilling secrets” were actionable, upwards of 80% of the population would be tied up in litigation at all times, either as the plaintiff or the defendant, probably both. She might try to get him kicked off Twitter, but that would have The Streisand Effect. If she was “successful,” her story would get more press.

I agree. They’ve always treated Gia this way. In season one, Gia was, at most, seven, and they went to a restaurant and Joe told Teresa she could buy “bubbies,” and Gia wasn’t even paying attention; she was doing something age-appropriate, like coloring, and Joe called her attention to it and was like, “hey Gia! Your mom’s gonna get bubbies. Whaddya think about that?” I agree that it probably got a lot worse as she got older and the situation got more dire, but it’s always been there. Gia is still too caustic for my taste and I don’t think she’s justified in her freak outs, but she’s had a lot to bear. I too am so glad she’s getting out of that toxic house. I don’t think she’s happy. Maybe if she gets away from her family, she’ll be happy.

None of this is computing for me either. We’re literally being fed a different line every episode. It started with the beginning of last season—we have to get out of the Vegas homes and into Flagstaff before the school year begins—doesn’t matter why, we just have to leave. Didn’t the same sort of reason apply to Lehi (always with the siren in the background)? That they had to flee, like Kristallnacht was coming? So they move hundreds of miles away, without selling any of the old houses (or even putting half of them on the market), so that they can purchase a piece of property that has no sewage or power, and suddenly everyone is either renting or buying, and they all live at least 15 minutes from each other. The kids all started new schools. Meri had to move twice. Now Robyn has to move, because the lease she was in allowed the house to get sold out from under her. Now there are—as Kody says—no rentals available, but what he means is that there are no rentals specific to Robyn’s needs available, which is a totally different animal, and then they have a teary conversation and Kody makes a “big ask” of the seller, and...”next week, on Sister Wives”? There is clearly something they are not telling us. First of all, I’ve seen Robyn give birth in a bed with no epidural, with her parents taking pictures of her vagina, and she didn’t really flinch, but now she’s crying to the point of hyperventilation that she might have to buy a house before they can build? She knows serfdom is over, right? Like, you buy the land, the land doesn’t buy you? And you can start looking for new buyers as soon as the ink on the closing papers is dry? And Kody, man, what were you, a 16 year old boy with braces and glasses asking the prettiest senior girl to prom in some John Hughes movie when you called up the seller “Craig” with your “big ask”? Even “Craig” seemed freaked out by that call, which probably went on interminably, as “Craig” just kind of hung up on him at the end. What’s so “big” about an “ask”? If I walked into the Chinese restaurant and I wanted them to serve me a bowl of pasta with red sauce, I wouldn’t get all girly and giggly and ass-kissy. I’d ask if they could do it, they’d say no, and we’d all move on. Huh. Ugh, me too! Like I said in the past, I’m never going to get over what they did to Gabe, so this one rubs extra raw. Nothing in that scene made sense. Kody was saying the house was in a different school district. Why did he take Robyn there if it was, and he had no intention of moving her kids’ school district (I find it really disturbing that she keeps referring to their kids as her kids when she’s around Kody)? Only upon Robyn digging her feet in, did Kody start talking about getting “a variance” from the school. I don’t know exactly what a variance is, but I think they were intending to commit fraud all along by pretending the kids lived with Meri, Janelle or Christine, whichever one(s) lived within the school district. What I do know is that Robyn and Kody need to get on the same parenting page with ‘their’ kids ASAP. I have a feeling Kody would have no bones about ripping them out of yet another school, and Robyn might rather literally be homeless (as long as she can cry about it and blame Kody) if it meant keeping her kids at their schools. The fact that they argue about these issues that are directly affecting the kids while at an open house, in front of them, is so gross. Briana was the one ready to have a panic attack this time. And WTF was with Kody grabbing Aureolla and forcing her to face him so that she would be on board with the house? Isn’t she like four? I couldn’t believe the groveling Robyn was doing about asking if the earnest money can be low. That is a bad faith negotiation if I ever saw one. Ok, so let’s say the earnest money was lowered to $20k. She would be fucking willing to walk away from $20k just so that she can rent, because that’s what she wants to do? You pay that Victoria‘ s Secret bill yet, toots? Seriously sad. If Janelle were on Arrested Development, she’d be labeled a “stay in bed mom.” Yes, we all heard the serious music (the music on this show—I can write a whole page on that) about Janelle Going To Work, but I think we have a pretty good idea of where she spent the other 16 hours of the day. A few asides: If the idea that the wives could never ever, ever all live under the same roof again, because they were afraid of hearing Kody come home from another date with another woman, why hasn’t it been floated that Robyn and Meri live together in one house and Christine and Janelle move in together temporarily, while they have their ‘housing crisis’? Meri and Janelle don’t have sexy time with him, Meri could help Robyn raise Robyn’s (not Kody’s) five kids, and I doubt that Janelle would foist the child rearing of Gabe and Savannah on Christine, which we all theorized was Christine’s most major fear of living together again. Why can’t they pretend they’re trying to make ends meet? Was there an episode—they all seem to blend together to me now—that Robyn said the house would have to have six bedrooms, or did she suggest that’s what she wanted, but would be willing to go along with three if that was what the renting market would yield? Three bedrooms would work fine temporarily. One for Kody and Robyn, one for Aurora and Briana, one for Sol and Aur, and Dayton lives like a big boy outside of the home. Has this concept even been touched upon, or it it all glossed over as in, “no rentals in Flagstaff”? Ok, so it’s fairly obvious to everyone that Robyn and Kody pretty much live monogamously with Robyn’s kids now, right? Aside from Robyn, the last time any of the wives had significant face time with Kody was last season when Christine and Kody took Ysabel to the doctor numerous times. I remember the quaint days of each wife getting her own special trip on her birthday. I don’t foresee even Galveston on the horizon now. How do they let this happen? I still don’t understand why they didn’t stay in Vegas until their homes sold, so that they would have the capital to build on Coyote Pass. This has not been explained once. Even if the mortgages ballooned and they had to pay $15k a month on each house, they still had to pay that, regardless of whether they were living there until the homes had a buyer who closed. What was the point of walking away before they were ready? What if the mortgages in LV had ballooned to a million dollars a month each? How is the solution to move out while still having to maintain that home’s mortgage? Because, as I see it, now you’re in for a million plus. This thing only goes up, it doesn’t go down, until you are alleviated of those mortgages. Just moving away doesn’t accomplish that, unless they’re on the lam (season 12, anyone?). But without getting free and clear of the Vegas properties, you’re just doubling your burden. Unless they are doing some major swindling on the side, which I’m sure they are, because none of this has ever been explained to us. If they couldn’t afford to build on Coyote Pass and move right in from Vegas, then, yes, as other posters have said, that is where the “temporary’ double-wides come in. Christine is super envious of Aspyn’s life? Christine, it’s called monogamy. You should try it some time. Also, I thought I could possibly go the rest of my life without seeing Aspyn guffaw so hard that she literally loses her balance and keels over...yet we got it again this episode. What kind of tick is that, and why has no one yet corrected it? Why does Maddie seem to be so keen on having her baby at home? She’s not polygamous, and she seemed to be suffering so much last time. They even had to stop filming for awhile because she “lost it.” Doesn’t she know how much more comfortable a hospital can make her? Why didn’t Kodouche, whose wife clearly didn’t want or need him around as she oh-so-slowly wrapped tchotchkes in orange bubble wrap while she hissed at him, go with either Christine or Janelle to visit his children? What is wrong with this man? Robyn looked really, really pregnant in last night’s episode, but not in the talking heads. Was she on some kind of prednisone or something back then? Her entire head and abdomen was swollen something fierce. Wonder what that was about. Maybe instead of Tweeting their sunshine and roses bullshit, Robyn couldn’t have Tweeted why she looks at 30 lbs thinner in her talking heads? They are hiding so much that is going on. If they weren’t hiding, this would make a lick of sense. They can still theoretically build on Coyote Pass if Robyn and Kody were to buy a house, since Christine already bought a house, right? But Robyn kept insisting to us and anyone who would listen that she is cryink because if she bought a home, it would set back the dream of Coyote Pass. Well...she wants to sign a two year lease on the home she rents, so she knows it’s going to be at least 24 months before Coyote comes to Pass (at which time it will be Coyote Passé), and there’s not a problem with that, but there would be this cataclysmic thunderclap from the heavens if she bought? People flip houses in under two years all the freaking time. What, exactly, is the difference? What was also totally abnormal to me was that as soon as Kody decided to call “Craig” and ask him if they could lease the home instead of buying, Kody immediately bought into all of Robyn’s bullshit, hook, line and sinker and said he would so much rather rent, and he will pay any price “Craig” puts on the table for rent, even if it’s exorbitant, because renting would be so much better for the faaamily, and it would move up moving to Coyote Pass significantly. Da fuq is going on here? Kody just spent the last three episodes as a zealous advocate for the purchase of a home. The narrative just isn’t stacking up. Something is rotten in Arizona. I know these are all immature, stunted people, but Robyn crying at the end and saying, vis a vis the home purchase, she’ll say “sure” but she won’t say “yes,” was about the most babyish display I’ve ever seen from a Brown. And they have three kids under 10. I didn’t know a functioning adult could be so oblivious to the facts as they are happening, not how you want them to happen.

I didn’t love it. I found myself constantly perking up for jokes, many of which didn’t deliver. Then there were lines like, “what’s so hard about being a matador?” which was perfect. The second opinion thing, and everything with the rivaling doctors, was the best part for me. I have had to tell a dentist I was getting a second opinion once, and it feels really awkward and haughty to actually say. I loved him blaming it on his dead mom. When the rival doctors sidled up to Larry at the hospital, it reminded me of the “doctor/pharmacist” controversy of Kamikaze Bingo. Larry is my real life hero for making a spite store. I take customer service seriously. Having Jonah Hill and his spite deli was very good, even if I’m not laughing out loud. Jonah said it’s better than winning an Oscar to get revenge! On the other hand, I didn’t find anything about Mila Kunis’s performance funny. It felt very much like they were trying to squeeze yet another famous actor in there. What was the point of having a spite store if she didn’t fix watches, other than plot service (if she had fixed the watch, Larry wouldn’t have been carrying it with him, and it wouldn’t have gotten broken)? I think about things like “the big johnson community,” and I just shake my head. Sometimes I think Leon goes for it, and the joke just doesn’t land. His presence overall definitely makes the show funnier, but it’s going into a more wacky direction now than it used to, and sometimes I think they should rein it in. The season finale of season one was about an incest survivor’s group, which is a real thing, and they were clever enough to make it really, really funny and absurd, though hovering on the precipice of plausible. When we go from that to a “big johnson meeting group,” it shows me that the show has fallen somewhat, or at least gone into a direction in which I’m not a fan. I said it earlier in the season, but it still applies—I think a good litmus test is, if it would make a six year old laugh, don’t include it. It’s really not that kind of comedy, or at least it shouldn’t be. In season eight, Ricky Gervais, playing himself, called what Larry David does “broad comedy.” I guess I kind of have to agree with him. Unfortunately. The scene with the pregnant woman, her husband, Larry, Jeff and Susie was mixed for me. I thought they went on way too long about whether you could scare a pregnant woman into labor. That whole line of dialogue should have been on the cutting room floor. It just didn’t titillate. I thought the question of whether the couple wants the baby to be light or dark skinned, in addition to the subsequent fight it caused, and Larry coming over and trying to settle into a day bed was funnier, but not approaching Fatwa! level humor. I did think it was definitely funny and definitely a payoff that Mocha Joe understood Alice’s tattoo with no hesitation. I also thought it was a good payoff that everything that Larry loved about his store is what made it an accelerant, and the rivaling factions at the coffee houses, resulting in Mocha Joe and Alice moving in next door (I didn’t see it coming, though I saw the fire, and the inability of the fire truck to get to the scene, coming). I thought the abuse of the emergency vehicle thing was a non-starter. It’s not a real life problem. This show is always funniest IMO when it’s dealing with a real life problem, like your sleeve getting stretched out because a dentist has to give you an injection. At least it tied up nicely at the end. I like when Larry is in a bind when the season ends. I love no hugging, no growing. Bonus points for no Cheryl and Ted (though where was Richard?). I wouldn’t be disappointed if there wasn’t another season. I’d much rather them go out on a mediocre-high note than have a season eleven of mediocre-low, and have it go away in a sort of Peter Principle effect. My big takeaway from the season: I would be such a loyal customer if a spite store ever opened!

I completely forgot that there was ever any friendship whatsoever between Nene and Kenya. Out of the three scenes to which they flashed back, only one of them showed mutual friendship, which was Nene real estate-shaming Kenya. Since neither are capable of true friendship as much as they are capable of alliances, I tried to think of a common enemy, at the time, and I couldn’t. I think back then Nene was fighting with Kim, and Kenya was fighting with Porsha. They probably just wanted to focus on their respective feuds, and an accidental “friendship” bloomed for ten seconds. Marlo was gross during the fight, letting Nene use her as a dancing human weapon, and Marlo telling Nene she had too much money to throw and spit things. Exactly how much money does one need to have to make that behavior acceptable/unacceptable? Nene didn’t say anything about Brooklyn; she hadn’t seen Brooklyn at the time of the offense. She said Kenya looked like Kenya was going to birth a buffalo, based on Kenya’s size. Nothing was based on Brooklyn, unless this is some type of fat fetus shaming I haven’t heard of yet. Porsha had a classic Porsha line when she said, “if your biggest pet peeve is, ‘don’t talk about my business,’ you got to try hard...not to talk about someone else’s business.” Is she even listening what she’s saying? The pet peeve in question would be people talking about your business. The pet peeve couldn’t be “don’t talk about my business,” unless you want people to talk more about your business, which was not the case. Porsha wasn’t even in the heat of the moment when she said that. It was a talking head. She didn’t catch herself and ask to restate it? It sounds so ignorant. This is why I have stretched the benefit of the doubt for Kenya so much in the past (not anymore). Kenya would know what a pet peeve was. I said at the beginning of the season that I liked a more demure post-Dennis cheating Porsha, and it looks like she’s coming away from that, cracking up at her own jokes, clapping, shimmying her shoulders (all of this in talking heads, not when she’s yukking it up with friends) and it’s beginning to wear on me. I feel like she’s always putting on a show. It doesn’t seem genuine. Kandi, you were never accused of rape. I am so tired of the revisionist history that goes on with that season’s story. Porsha said she heard Kandi had a sex dungeon and that she heard that Todd and Kandi were going to drug her and take advantage of her. So, being accused of ”conspiracy to commit rape” is not enough for Kandi? She has to amp up the wattage of the drama even harder? Eye roll. Just when I thought we reached a low of spitting popcorn seeds at each other...fucking Dina and Lindsay Lohan’s names had to come into it. Oh damn. Nene did look good in her swimsuit. But her bio is lying about her height or weight, or both. I don’t think she is one pound less than 195. Emily Simpson of Real Housewives of Orange County had a very similar figure last season, and when they weighed her on the show, she was over 190. Marlo’s suit was nice too, but Nene’s get-up with the monokini was far more flattering. While I am saying nice things about awful people, Kenya’s ab game in her white bikini was so much better than it had a right to as a new mom pushing 50. Everyone else had too much going on for me to appreciate. I never thought I would say this, but I think it’s time to retire “hellur” for anyone who is not Tyler Perry. I didn’t love any of the looks at the goddess party. Kandi looked great from the front in the red with her breasts covered for once. The silhouette wasn’t flattering from the back. We’re still not onto the finale yet? What else could they possibly have to show this season? The one time I am excited to see Eva—to see what is going on with her new baby—wasn’t even previewed.

They’re all so boring. I’m shocked at how long it takes for Maci to get one sentence out of her mouth. Is she doing this on purpose to fill her segments? Mackenzie is the only one interesting to watch. Just on a superficial note, she looks too big and muscular to me. Every time I see her, I think of this whippet dog that I saw on TV that was born with so much extra muscle that it weighs twice as much as it’s supposed to weigh, even though it has very little fat: (Same shoulders) I didn’t take it as Angie blaming Mackenzie for Josh’s infidelity. I think she was just asking pointed questions so that Mackenzie could have been more accountable for the role she played in her relationship, even if it’s so she can extract lessons from this for her next husband. I think Josh is a total loser, definitely a cheater, definitely a liar, definitely a drug addict...but it would be nearly impossible for Mackenzie to be utterly blameless in this situation, even if her only mistake was hooking up with him in the first place. I had no idea about Angie’s status since filming until I came here. Can I just ask my fellow posters to use spoiler tags on any major event that happens subsequent to the show’s filming please? Thank you. 🙏

FWIW, I thought you were in the majority. I though I was in the minority, and now I don’t know what to think lol. MJ did mention on the show—and they showed the texts—the Reza was posting all of MJ’s info onto “social.” I’m sure he did it with malice intent. I would never think it was an accident or omission. And Tommy has a right to be angry, of course, but... I just knew I wasn’t going to jump to MJ’s side just because Reza said the a-word. I knew that as soon as it aired. I’m also not going to give her excessive pity because she’s a new mother. I do see what you’re saying. It’s not unreasonable. I just have a few nits to pick about the situation. There was nothing inflammatory about MJ’s current medical info that Reza spilled, was there? It’s not like she attempted suicide in a gruesome way. She was a 47 year old woman who would never give birth again. I dunno, aren’t 99.999% of 47 year old women never going to give birth again? Maybe it’s more normal for me than other people, because my mom had a hysterectomy when I was three, and no one in my family ever treated it like it had any kind of stigma whatsoever. Then, of course, is the natural counterpoint, which is, “ it doesn’t matter if she had her tonsils out; it’s not Reza’s story to tell. Fair enough. I had a law professor who said never to put anything into an email that you don’t want published in the New York Times, and I think that goes quadruple for people who are famous. If MJ and Tommy are going to put confidential info into a text to Reza, they had to know there was at least a small risk it would wind up on “social.” Not being glib, but I thought the most disturbing thing about the text messages was that Tommy spelled “fallopian” wrong. I know he’s not an ob-gyn, but when he wrote that text message, why didn’t it auto correct? Or at least give him that red line? Final point: I’m not saying MJ and Tommy didn’t have a right to get revenge; I just wish they were smarter about it. Does MJ mean to say that she doesn’t have any horrible texts that Reza wrote that she could release? To me, that would be fair game. Put his phone number on social media. Either Reza never put anything confidential into texts (which should have clued MJ and Tommy in that he’s deliberately being careful and it should have pinged something in them) or they chose not to go that route and Tommy decided to smash Reza’s plants instead, which makes me think of a wild animal, not a person. What Tommy did just offends my prefrontal cortex. They were cooped up in the house with the new baby and all this time to plan...and they came up with...this? There are so many ways to get back at someone that could be so much worse. Call in an anonymous tip from a pay phone that a man matching Reza’s description with Reza’s license plate and make and model car was seen parked at a truck stop with a teenage boy and something seemed off, and you, John Q Citizen, are worried. That would tie him up a lot more than some plants. Am I alone in thinking that this was just so poorly conceived and makes Tommy look so foolish? Not the revenge, but the type of revenge? Anyone? Bueller? I know I’m in the minority on this one, but I’d rather be around someone who is mean as a snake and intelligent than someone who is dumb. I could keep my guard up around the mean person, and at least they would be interesting. Being with someone dumb? I’d rather be alone and staring at a blank wall, thanks all the same.

I find this show completely absurd and pretty much everything they do is below the belt. I’m not gonna be a hypocrite and say “ten abortions / no wonder why your uterus exploded” is something brand new from this crew. The most it gets from me is a Kanye shrug. MJ was saying Reza and Adam fuck other guys at bathhouses...I don’t see a difference in kind. It’s all personal info, and they’ve been spilling it on each other since the beginning. Probably why Asa left the show. I think MJ was more offended that he called her 50, not kidding. What Reza did with putting the texts on “social” was bad, but Tommy took it to a criminal level, which isn’t acceptable. He was “defending his wife” by driving to Reza’s home with a Louisville slugger? Defending her against whom, the plants? What is this, Little Shop of Horrors? No, that was revenge, plain and simple, and call me the most extreme civil libertarian who’s ever walked the planet, but I think people should say whatever they want without feeling like there is going to be violent retaliation. Maybe the thing that offended me the most was that Tommy got caught. He doesn’t have a friend who has a punk kid brother who can go over there and toss some plants with gloves and a ski mask on, and no one will be able to ever get to the bottom of it? If I were Reza, that’s what would eat me alive—everyone would know the vandalism came from MJ / Tommy’s camp, but I couldn’t prove it, and he’d never get booked or have to pay a cent in restitution. That’s how people fuck with each other where I come from—a key to the car by a hooded stranger is so much worse than someone doing something you can prove and avenge. (And I’m from a place pretty close to where Tommy is from). I thought it was common knowledge that revenge is a dish best served cold. Was Tommy arrested? I don’t see how or why he could have avoided it. He’s a big talker about how he went over to Reza’s to kick ass and break legs...but notice none of those things happened? Who talks shit after the fact? No matter whose side you’re on, that’s some weak-bitch shit to do 10% of the damage you set out to do, and then dissolve into tears over it, still threatening, still ranting and raving. I think he has a serious alcohol problem. At the very least a serious maturity problem. MJ, it looks like you’re going to have two children to raise. That’s the part where I actually feel bad for her. I’ve seen my husband get that riled up twice since I’ve known him, and both times I immediately put on my lawyer cap to think which account I’m going to get the bail money, and what the real life circumstances are going to be in getting him out of jail and through his trial, because my husband carries out what he says. We’ve also had the discussion that a prison sentence would ruin me, not just us, and he’s hasn’t gotten riled up since that time, but I know he has it in him that he will not get into a fight that’s not worth having, and if he’s in the fight, he won’t back down. And, yes, I think that makes him more of a man. Either go to war or don’t. If my husband went out and batted at plants and came home to talk shit to me about how angry he still was? I’d have to excuse myself, and I’d think he was a huge pussy. Sorry. Either do something about it and accept the consequences, keep your mouth shut and realize this is the price you pay for reality TV fame, or talk about it calmly. The baby shit is for babies, and she’s already got one. It’s been the hardest 12 days of GG’s life since she got the embryo transfer? I feel like every single time we see her, it’s been the hardest 12 days of her life. She’s a drug addict. Remember the season they went camping, when she was drunk all the time and she was struggling with RA? That appeared to be a much worse series of twelve days. Did GG’s medical professional actually say she was “knocked up”? That’s one of the unprofessional things I’ve ever heard. It has nothing to do with whether GG, her mom, or her sycophant found it amusing. It’s degrading to the medical profession, and anyone who is planning on visiting a doctor and wants their medical care to be taken seriously. The woman couldn’t just say “pregnant”? The hell? Does every single person on this show need Destiney-levels of attention, including doctors on the phone?? Oh, and MJ, as far as what to call your son’s penis? “Penis” would do. I think one of the roots of the insecurities, neuroses, and hang-ups people have about sex Is because of the fact that so many parents put euphemisms on children’s sex organs. Why would we ever teach our kids about “pee-pees” and “we-wees,” only for them to have to unlearn it in grammar school, except for them to think there’s something vaguely shameful about their body? What is wrong with “penis” and “vagina” from day one? I would suggest parents who are too afraid to talk to kids frankly about their bodies get over it ASAP, because they’re sowing really negative seeds that will bloom later on, when kids are far more heavily influenced by their peers and the media, and it will be too late to correct. Why mess with something perfectly normal in the first place? Whoa, that episode pinged a lot for me. I guess somewhere along the way, they flew to Arizona, and Destiney is preparing for her business to do an MMA fight? It was funny to see them in the hotel lobby with fans and security clearly circled around them, staring.

Thank you! I watched it.

Does anyone know which movie it was that Mocha Joe was gonna watch with his mom that had the Oscar watermark on it? She kept saying it was about Arthur Avenue, and I’m so bored that I’m actually trying to find it to watch lol.

This, all day! This is why I started watching the show—I wanted to see what life was like from the perspective of a really large person. There was that other show on TLC that told the stories of really tall women, and I ate that up too. They focused more on height. This is starting to become The Whitney Show, and less like a documentary, and it’s really disappointing. Chase is going to toe the party line so that the TLC gravy train keeps coming. There will be no honesty. Remember when he said he thought she weighed 250 lbs?!? I guess she could be 250 lbs...on the surface of the moon. I don’t think she really wants a kid. Remember a few seasons ago, she went on a fertility journey (ugh), then went to see if she could adopt a Korean baby, and they told her it wouldn’t be possible with her BMI and her history of mental illness, and she chalked it up to being branded as “too fat and crazy” to adopt? But when the adoption expert said that she could pay a woman from the country of Georgia to have a baby for her, there were...crickets? She doesn’t want to be a mother; she wants to be a martyr. This. Since we’re all quarantined at home, and likely bored, I wonder if everyone agrees this was her worst moment? I think it was in the top three. The wheelchair at the St Patrick’s Day Parade was probably number one for me. The skis probably tie for number two with the season opener where she was supposed to host a dance marathon and she wound up passing out and needed paramedic care pretty much before the thing began. Any takers for any other glorious moments? The 8k in Hawaier was bad, but I don’t think it cracks the top five.

Agreed. It was the point of my post that Whitney was butchering the French language and it was not cool. When I said Todd could have managed it and looked charming, I meant behind closed doors. That would be part of the charm. I don’t give a fig if foreigners are having a giggle about the way my language sounds behind closed doors. I doubt many other cultures would either. It would make me feel that anyone who cared was over sensitive and insecure. My sister took French in school, before I did, and she recounted to our family that the French word for “banana” was “banane,” and she was taught that sometimes the first consonant sound is dropped when it’s used in a sentence. For some reason, my mom, my sister and I all started saying it, and every so often we would say, “a-na-na,” for the mere pleasure of the sound of the word. I would have no issue whatsoever if a French person found a turn of an English phrase or word funny and repeated it often around other people, without minding the gravitas of the meaning of the word. And it’s my experience, from my time in France, that they don’t want you, or should I say me, to speak French. I took two years of French in school, so it’s not like I would say “aw rev war” to a French person either, but the French people in which I came into contact preferred to speak English to me. They did not tend to appreciate my attempts at speaking their language. From what I understand, this is very common in Paris, which is the part of France I was in. Everyone has their own experience. I get that Chase might not be in a place to think about or have children, and, biologically speaking, he has decades to think about it. What was abnormal about it from my perspective was that Chase was using his age as a reason that it was inappropriate for Whitney to talk to him about kids, and Ryan sort of aided and abetted that thought pattern by saying, basically, “YOU may be 29, but Whitney’s not.” As if 29 is 19. Or twenty-three It is extremely normal for a 29 year old man to have some opinions on whether he wants kids, whereas Chase acted like Whitney dropped a hot potato in his lap by virtue of his age. He has a whole other host of reasons for not wanting to procreate with Whitney (which I think is what this is really about), but age isn’t one of them. He’s not a spring chicken anymore, is all I’m saying. When he’s 35 or 39, is he going to keep saying, “I dunno if I want to have kids. I’m still just 36.”? It sounds like it’s not his age that’s holding him back; it sounds like it’s more like his maturity level, which is fine, but I’m just asking a bruh to not use one as a proxy for the other. I’d have a lot more respect for him if he said, “my business hasn’t really taken off, I want to travel, I want to meet new people, and I don’t know if I want to have kids until all those things have occurred,” rather than “I’m 29! I can’t talk about kids!” I decided very recently that I absolutely don’t want kids, but when I was still trying to figure it out in my early thirties—and to take the fertility question out of it, the idea of adoption wasn’t off the table—I never would have said, “Oh, I haven’t decided if I want kids. I am only 30 after all.” I would say “there are a myriad of factors that I am weighing, and I have not decided yet.“ There’s a point—I would put it right around 27 or 28–when a person may no longer shirk the question of reproductivity on account of their age. They don’t have to be willing to talk about it with anyone, it’s not anyone’s business, they can share some and keep some to themselves, but they may not cry “youth” as a reason they have not made this decision after 28. They are free to claim immaturity, but not youth, simply because they’re not young. YMMV.

Oh lol, I shouldn't’ have left that hanging there without a solution: From “mathisfun.com”: The man and the chicken cross the river, he leaves the chicken on the other side and goes back across. The man then takes the fox across the river, and since he can’t leave the fox and chicken together, he brings the chicken back...since the chicken and corn can’t be left together, he leave the chicken and he takes the corn across and leaves it with the fox. He then returns to pick up the chicken and heads across the river one last time.” I guess this is something like what it takes to put together a Housewives seating chart.

Not sure I judged Chase, at least not harshly (although of course I reserve the right to do so in the future). I described my opinion of how I think his life is going to progress, and I stand by it. The word “wow” denotes astonishment. What’s astonishing about the prognosis I made for Chase? It seems like there is some judgment being projected onto stuff I didn’t say or imply. I dunno. I didn’t say “just” a type; I said “a type.” A type is just someone who fits into a category. Everyone is a type. I am a type. Whitney is...a type. A type of what, I’m not entirely sure. 😉 I’m going to return to my regularly scheduled snarking...

I love Andy’s false dichotomy that he can’t sit Danielle next to him, because he’s got Teresa and Margaret on either side of him, and Danielle is likely to fight with both Teresa and Margaret. Are Teresa and Margaret statues who can’t be moved? I’m sure as hell not saying Danielle should get her way, but Andy is insulting everyone’s intelligence when he acts like he’s in a real life version of that riddle where you have a fox, a chicken and a sack of grain that you have to transport across a river on a boat that only fits two, and you can’t leave the fox with the chicken, or the chicken with the grain. Like, just grow a pair and tell the bitch “no.” Margaret can miss me circling the wagons against Danielle. Suddenly Jen has a “heart of gold” now that Margaret doesn’t want to fight a two-front war? Fight a two-front war, bitch. Teresa fought a four-front war seasons three to five. And they wonder why Teresa owns this franchise! The stubborn asshole in me wants Teresa to refuse to completely denounce Danielle, because it continues to show Margaret’s weak underbelly in refusing to take a stand against Teresa. Not Margaret the person, but Margaret’s weakness with regard to Teresa, is just as disgusting and ridiculous to me as the notion of Danielle. They’re both so weak in character, have questionable motivations, and will say and do whatever the hell they think will benefit them, without any shame whatsoever. Danielle is so many horrible things that I can’t fully name them all, but damn, some shit must really have gone down with Margaret’s first marriage that it still keeps getting brought up by her cast mates, even though it happened long before the show. This was no run-of-the-mill divorce. Margaret should stop getting so involved in other people’s marriages. Also...she should stop calling other people Granny. Pot calling kettle, holy shit. The whole situation surrounding Danielle is so ugly. She is such a damaged woman, and the show keeps picking her up and consensually dragging her every time they need some drama. It’s like that really dysfunctional, disturbed couple who gets drunk and beats the shit out of each other. No one comes out looking like the winner. I don’t think this show is any better than Danielle by continuing to give her a platform from which to spew venom (and then everyone collectively clutches their pearls, which gives them their much-needed hit off the smug, superior peace pipe). Um, Jacqueline Laurita? Danielle didn’t “prosecute” your daughter; the prosecutor (you know, the one with the power of the state behind them) prosecuted your daughter because your daughter committed a violent crime. Instead of drinking Bailey’s and parading your poor autistic son in front of the cameras, pick up a book, you horrid Easter Island statue of a woman. I thoroughly disagree with Jennifer that Danielle ratted out Teresa. Melissa accused Danielle of being a bad influence on Danielle. Is Danielle just supposed to sit there and take it? This coming from a woman who instigates a fight between Dolores and Jackie about whether they’re friends on a happy vacation in Jamaica? How is what Jennifer did to Dolores better? I think it’s worse. Wow, Teresa might want to get a nip or a tuck from Dr Bill. Her ass was looking like a fugly bag of smashed potatoes when she got up to hug Margaret. Agatha from Aurora (or whatever A-city that viewer was from, whose name Andy kept trying to say when Margaret and Danielle were bickering) literally got more air time than Jackie this installation. I hate how Andy keeps fetishisizing Teresa’s desire for a Jewish husband. Would this be so titillating to Andy if Teresa said she is intent on marrying a Muslim man? Or a Mexican man? Like most of what is Andy Cohen, his attitude toward this is so hypocritical and sordid.

Credit where it’s due—during one of those early “we’re filming but we’re trying to make it seem candid” shots, they showed Jen from the back standing, and dang that waist is snatched. Honorable mention to Dr Bill and Dr Spanx, for sure, but shoutout to Jen too. Any takers on Joe Go’s actual height? I think he’s 5’6” in shoes. What a mealy-mouthed kiss ass. I think it was really unfair that Joe Giudice wasn’t there via satellite or something. They made his character out like he was the devil. And Andy is really going to sit in judgment of the way Joe acted in Italy, implying he should grovel from foreign soil to get a pardon or something? Who died and made Andy judge, jury and executioner? How much groveling would Andy do on TV if he were thrown in jail for his illegal drug use? Let the guy have a little pride. He’s not coming back to America, and if you’re going to send cameras to his country, don’t clutch your pearls that he’s not falling all over himself to apologize, is how I see it at least. I think Andy hates Joe Gi with a passion, and he’s not objective about it at all. Oh my God, Andy says the Giudice family “just can’t catch a break”! Yes, it fucking sucks that all the good people who lie, cheat and steal can’t catch a break. This didn’t even start with the fraudulent bankruptcy. Joe Giu had a DUI and forged a license using his brother’s pic. The guy’s a crook! And I still like him heads and tails above Joe Go, and light years ahead of Andy. Can those two possibly be deported or exiled? And can they take Melissa with them? Teresa may have reasons for not divorcing Joe right now. As people suggested, there are likely still hidden assets. Whatever works for them. Why does the peanut gallery (Andy, Dolores, Joe Go, Melissa and Jen) assert their opinion when there is likely so much going on behind the scenes? Do any of them think Teresa’s hands are clean in this?!?!

Did Nene actually claim to be 140 lbs and I missed it??? Which leg?? I have this theory that no one tells the truth about their weight, because everyone else is lying about it, so if someone were to come clean and say they weight such-and-such number, it would always sound high. So we’re all in a vicious cycle with each other. Thanks to Kandi’s daughter Riley for being honest about her weight, and showing us what it looks like: I think Nene has a similar body to Riley in the “before” picture. I actually think Nene is bigger. Also, i do not think Riley is anywhere near six feet, so if Nene is actually close to six feet, I would say she is well over 200 lbs, based on these photos. I’m not shaming her. I think she has one of, if not the, best body on the cast, partially from surgery, but girlfriend ain’t clocking in close to 140. Remember last season when she claimed to be a size medium? She’s so full of shit. Just own it. I’m not sure Nene is familiar with that concept though.

This show is so strange. If I were an alien visiting from Mars and I watched this, I would make careful notes to take back to my home planet that these “humans” lose weight by doing lots of dramatic exercise and having emotional discussions. Food would not factor in it my notes at all, except for... that super weird opening where Steven really aggressively called out Micah for not giving his all to his weight loss, and then that storyline sort of...petered out. They’re so weird how they don’t talk about diet! If VH-1 still exists in like 2040 and they do a “remember the 2010s” retrospective, some unfunny comedian is going to give some interview about “and hey, remember The Biggest Loser?!? That weight loss show that never mentioned food!” And all the young people would be like, “nah, he’s exaggerating.” It was nice to see them connect with their families, but I didn’t learn much, except that Micah’s mom is really young looking. I sorta tuned out there for a minute. It wasn’t interesting. Nor was the obstacle course, nor was the working out. They were so much more creative in the past. Last season when they had those twins Luis and Roberto, they brought someone back to their hometown for a week, partially so that he could work out with Dolvett, and partially so that he could work out on his own in his hometown, but then he came back to the ranch...I smell a low budget, y’all! They did all lose a lot of weight and they are all so much thinner. They should be super proud of themselves. Even Kristi, about whom I never have a good word, looked so fit and good in her “after” scene. She looked way less than 198 lbs., so she probably has a lot of muscles too. I’m glad she’s gone, because she got on my nerves, but she absolutely walked the walk, pardon the pun.