LibertarianSlut

Luann is so relieved that she doesn’t have to pretend to be sober on camera anymore that she’s positively punch-drunk (pardon the pun). I was watching season five, and Sonja had moments of lucidity, even when it appeared she had been drinking. Now she gets sloppy drunk and probably blacked out every time she’s on the show. Last season Luann hypothesized that Sonja was on uppers, and it did appear that way last year. This year, it seems like she’s talking something more than alcohol. She’s so loony and hard to reach whenever she starts drinking. Sonja and Dorinda are the biggest drunks across the Housewives franchises, probably since the Housewives began in 2006. Sonja relieving herself on TV is some of the worst behavior I’ve ever seen on this show. She and Dorinda The Incredible Hulk need to be on their own island, or at least their own show, away somewhere. I loved that Tinsley climbed the tree after fighting with Dorinda. It seemed like she was truly over it, and not pretending or trying to be kooky. Last week she was charming going down the slide, and this week she’s climbing an apple tree. Tinsley is so much better than these women. I’m starting to understand why she hasn’t really engaged in the past. There’s no winning with someone like Sonja or Dorinda. They remind me so much of the saying not to wrestle in the mud with a pig, because the pig will enjoy it. I feel like this season is shaping into three tiers—the lowest tier is Dorinda and Sonja, which, nothing left to say. The second tier is Leah and Luann, both affirming to each other that alcohol isn’t the problem. The third tier and the people who are the best this season are Tinsley and Ramona. Ramona is having a really good season. She has somehow managed to bridge the divide between drunk, scary, and crazy and decent. Dorinda being all worried about how John is going to perceive “Dorinda Medley” is such a good example of her personality. Forget John’s feelings and whether he was hurt; let’s just make sure he doesn’t walk away from a table saying something negative about “Dorinda Medley.” She’s gross. I’m not sure how Sonja even enjoys sex at this point. She seems like she’d have whatever the woman’s equivalent to whiskey dick. I felt so bad for Tinsley that she even felt it necessary to reply to Sonja saying Tinsley would do anything with a small dick as long as it got her a diamond tennis bracelet. Tinsley did not need to dignify that comment with any kind of response. And we’re supposed to belief that Sonja wouldn’t go dick diving for jewelry? Bullshit. There’s just no one who wants to fuck her or give her jewelry. Whatever happened to Tom, Sonja’s “lover of ten years”? Now that he and Luann are divorced, one would think he would go right back to fucking Sonja, but funny how we haven’t heard anything about that. A bald lying cheating mama’s boy who trolled the show since season one is too good for her. Harry Dubin is too good for her. No one wants anything from Sonja Morgan, other than distance, and Dorinda is starting to follow her right down that path, and I think she knows it deep down. John was way too good for her. Maybe that’s why Dorinda didn’t want to talk about it. Maybe, to paraphrase Michael Scott from The Office, the breakup wasn’t so mutual after all.

Leah’s apartment was quite the dump. Luann saying “you can tell a good building by the corridors” to Leah’s face and taking a passive-aggressive sip off of her drink in her talking head was good old Luann. Leah can stop bitching about not being in the 1% (which I’m sure she is). Her home looked like shit because she has no eye for aesthetics whatsoever. The handbags that looked like they were hanging from nails by the front door had nothing to do with being rich or poor, it was about having bad taste. Just cop to it. At the same time, where the hell is your apartment, Luann? When was the last time we saw her in any kind of apartment in NYC? I literally cannot remember. I’d be willing to bet money that if she is renting a place and not just bed-hopping, her place is not nicer than Leah’s. At least Leah is putting her life on camera. So.....let me get this straight. I need to take a seat for this. We had to find out about Dorinda and John’s breakup from Page Six, but Dorinda is going after Tinsley like a Pitbull all season for not sharing about her life????? Dorinda, hypocrite be thy name! I realized that my problem with Tinsley is that she’s incredibly immature and not assertive. But she has been completely open with the details of her life this season, and Tinsley finally did exactly what she was supposed to with regard to jumping on top of Dorinda and then Sonja when she jumped into the fray. Dorinda’s like a Bethenny where she thinks (and often receives) special kid glove treatment. I can’t stand that. Good for Tinsley—great for Tinsley—but I wish she wouldn’t have had a meltdown afterward either. Luann was a good person to take her aside though. If anyone knows about a pile-on, it’s Luann. I was lol’ing when Luann was coaching her to act like Obama and talk low. Dorinda’s explanation about John was such bullshit and spin. She’s not telling us something, or a lot of somethings. Tinsley said one thing and Dorinda jumped all over her. I think Dorinda knows that she’s being the biggest hypocrite on this side of the Mason-Dixon, and she jumped onto the offense so she wouldn’t have to be on defense, but it just makes her look like a big, bad wolf. She is so full of shit it’s not even funny. I wish Elyse wasn’t there. Ramona or Sonja would have asked about John sooner or later. She makes some good points, but we don’t know the first thing about her Sonja isn’t in the mood to drink? Tell your story walking, hun. Dorinda wants all the sympathy because when Richard died, she almost became an alcoholic? That’s so comical. And I guess she gets to be treated completely differently than she treats others because she’s a widow? And Sonja and Luann physically gather and comfort her, because they have substance abuse problems too, and they were left by rich men and misery loves company? Whatever. I’m not really sure why she has friends, or allies, or minions at this point. Did I compare her to Bethenny yet?

What I don’t understand is why Anna doesn’t want to go away to school. I thought everyone wanted to go away to school, even if it’s harder for some people than others. I would want to get the hell out of that house, for one. I think the parents are right for once that this is the best thing for her. I don’t fault Amber and Trent for making her go away. There is this little bargain that parents make when they bring children into the world (or in this case, adopt them), that they will raise them for 18 years and then off they go. She’s super lucky her parents are paying for it. If Anna was driving, which I’m not quite sure why she’s not, it’s only two hours away. It’s close enough that she could come home every single weekend and even a few times during the week. They’re not exactly shipping her off. I was kind of embarrassed for Anna that her mom was there for her orientation. I’m not being snarky, but is she developmentally delayed? I would have died of embarrassment if my mom attended orientation with me. She’s 19, right? My friends and I were all barely 18 when we went to college, and some were more ready than others, and not all of us were that mature or smart, but we weren’t remotely like Anna. She is displaying more of the mentality of a 13 or 14 year old. If I was going to prognosticate anything, I would have thought Trent and Amber would have mandated that they’ll only pay for college if the kid lives at home, and I would have thought that was unfair. I think the opposite is totally fair. I don’t know that Anna isn’t going to fail out of college—she seems woefully unprepared—but why not give it a shot? If she fails out, I think they should let her move home, but then she needs to make a plan ASAP. Anything short of that, they’re infantilizing her. Did Trent and Amber actually not pay Brice to watch their pets when they were in CA? Cheapskates, my God! I must be on drugs, because I thought Amber and Trent had a point about Elizabeth and Brice and their PDA. They weren’t saying they couldn’t snuggle, they were saying they couldn’t snuggle to that extent around the family, just as they wouldn’t snuggle that way in front of their kids. When I saw the preview for this, I thought they were going to tell their 17 year old daughter she wasn’t allowed to cuddle with her boyfriend, and I rolled my eyes so hard. Trent handled that one ok, and everything Liz said about never doing that stuff in front of other people was given a lie by the cameras. I don’t know what it has to do with being in front of the “little kids” (13 and 14 is not “little kids,” it’s “big kids” and I think it’s bad for them to refer to refer to them as “little kids,” especially Alex; it lets him off the hook for so much shit), I think it has to do with respecting your parents’ rules and household. If Trent was walking around in his boxers around Brice, um, no, that’s totally inappropriate. I think they made a good decision to lower the house to suit their needs. I don’t think they need to give anyone an explanation about that. I’m just so glad the shit about cooking and washing food in the bathtub is over. That was gross. I don’t know why their appliances would be delayed. I think that was for storyline. Pretty solid episode two weeks in a row. What is going on??

My point keeps getting misunderstood. I know that Denise Richards is an actress. I know she’s known; I don’t need to ask my friends. I just don’t think she’s that big of a deal. I don’t think soap opera stars—with the potential exception of Susan Lucci—are a big deal. I know Denise has had work, as I had the pleasure of watching her as a cheerleading mom on a Lifetime movie when I was in a hotel room over Labor Day. My point is that if you’re going to look someone in the eye and tell them how good you are by saying you’re “[Name] Fucking [Name]”, you look foolish, unless the names being supplied have like “Jennifer, Johansson, Roberts, Scarlett, Lawrence or Julia” in them. Denise is more well-known than Kyle, clearly. I knew who she was before she came on the show, but the thing she’s most notorious for is Charlie Sheen’s ex-wife. She definitely doesn’t have the name to throw around against someone professionally. Very few people do. I think it’s a totally fair point for Denise to tell Kyle she’s a working actress and she’s glam for that reason alone. That’s just a fact. For her to say she’s Denise “Fucking” Richards or “Fucking” Denise Richards or whatever she said is laughable to me. If you’re not A-list, you don’t get to say this, unless you’re huge at the film festivals or something, and I don’t remember her starring in movies at Cannes or Sundance. In fact, I think it’s obnoxious for anyone to brag about how big their own name is. Let others brag for you, is kind of PR rule 101. When the other women make themselves out to be bigger and more important than they are, I call it out. Kyle may not say she’s Kyle Fucking Richards either, even though she clearly has a lot more money than Denise. It sounds warped to me. Just because Denise has had numerous roles and magazine covers (and I never contended she didn’t) doesn’t make her at all immune to slinging bullshit IMO, and I am an equal opportunity bullshit caller-outer.

I’m pretty sure I was that poster, as I was the only one who commented on Denise’s presence in magazines. I acknowledged that, yes, she was in ALL the magazines, including the tabloids. I don’t begrudge or deny that she’s had other covers. I’m still trying to figure out what of consequence she’s done this decade. I think just by virtue of being on this show fabulousness is generally negated. I think there are people who can pull it off better than others, but those are usually one and dones (Joyce, Kathryn). Somehow Eileen got away with being fabulous and a soap star, because it was the one thing she didn’t take seriously, so I loved that about her. There’s something fabulous about Erika because she’s in on her own camp for the most part. I can completely see now that people have mentioned it that Kyle might be jealous about Denise’s kind of star, as opposed to Kyle’s kind of “star,” but when I look at Denise, I just see a haggard woman who has aged very poorly with a foul mouth and an unrefined accent. I think she’s a good mom, despite some questionable choices she’s made on the show, such as not going for the child support to which she’s entitled. If she doesn’t want/need the money, she can set it up in a trust for her kids. I think she is a caring, sensitive person. I don’t like the ultra blasé attitude she has, and I don’t like the way she seems to be very pleased with her own blasé attitude if that makes any sense. I don’t like the way she frowns and snaps. I can literally see the moment she loses her mind, and I don’t like that type of unpredictability, especially for a mom. She’s just not my cup of tea. I’m really not into anything about getting high off marijuana. I don’t care who gets high, but when they show up on my screen baked numerous times, talking about giant dicks, I’m just like, ugh, honey, this is the best you’ve got? I don’t care who gets stoned any more than I care about who drinks, but I don’t want to hear about drug culture on this show. To me, that’s not fabulous, that’s Grateful Dead. I don’t want to hear how many Bud Lites a woman on this show can down either. I just don’t think it’s that kind of show. When Mauricio got really high at Camille’s wedding, I laughed. Now that it’s a regular thing, apparently, I am disappointed in him. I wish they would just keep that shit, along with some of the sex talk, off camera.

How much work, exactly, did Amelia and Delilah put into that store? I’m venturing to guess about the same amount of work Kyle put into her fashion line, judging by how much praise Delilah got for picking out the flowers. Sutton is complaining to Dorit that an investor didn’t follow through on funding? I’m just going to let the irony of that one sit. If Denise had so many curse words to say about Kyle’s “half-assed” “fucking” apology at DNA, why didn’t she say it to her face? In an appropriate way. Denise lets it bottle up and then she freaks out. She did this last season with Camille and Kim. It’s so strange. Erika is definitely drinking more this season. Sutton clearly wanted Joey Maalouf to be at the event, as she was gunning for him. It wasn’t inappropriate that Sutton said she was going to freak out, but it would have been completely inappropriate for her to actually freak the fuck out. On Maalouf. She completely freaked the fuck out on Dorit. This was a quieter, but no less insane version than a combination of “let’s not talk about the husband” and “at least I’m not in the bathroom doing crystal meth.” Dorit is obviously a crook, but why does everyone jump down her throat if they’re not doing business with her? Why first Kyle, and now Sutton? Could it be possible that she gets in extremely passive-aggressive digs in and the mics never happen to pick them up? I think Dorit is an asshole and an airhead, and she stirs shit, but she really wasn’t out of pocket here in any way that I could see. In the aftermath of “the mouse,” it was literally the worst time for Denise to bring up the cursing at the party, so I don’t know if I’m applauding her for finally getting in the game or tut-tutting it. Kyle had two points about Denise being fake, one was semi-valid and one wasn’t. She was saying Denise was fake for sticking up for Dorit and her glam, and that didn’t seem fake to me, but it did seem a little strange of a hill to die on, especially given that Dorit and Denise aren’t really friends, so why was Denise was so aggressive to defend Dorit at the infamous Denise Cursing Party? But to her second point, when Kyle accused Denise of suddenly being and living glam, she had no leg to stand on, because of Teddi’s complete overhaul upon which she never commented. Not to mention the fact that Kyle herself once upon a time wasn’t glam...until she was. Does Denise think everyone or anyone wants to be on the cover of US Weekly and Life & Style, dishing tidbits about their ex-husband wreaking havoc on the country via Twitter? Yes, she’s been on the cover of all the magazines. All of them. And Wild Things? That was so long ago, that I think I had to sneak into the movie theater to see it! To paraphrase someone famous, tell us what you did this decade. A soap opera? A Lifetime Christmas movie? Girl, bye. Kyle was kind of being an inconsistent jerk, but I don’t understand Denise’s venom and anger that went from 0-60. Even Erika, queen of losing her shit at the drop of a hat (“don’t talk about my son,” “don’t say fake amnesia”) was like “whoa.” I don’t know if that makes Erika a hypocrite or a decent person for warning Denise not to go down that path. This is just for me personally, but I would have been much more embarrassed to say “fucking” and “asshole” and even “goddamn” with Lois at the table than if a bunch of teenagers were at a table close by. I love this episode! Everyone just went completely nuts over and over for no discernible reason. I could write an entire psych paper on this shit. Better than all the previous episodes of the season combined. Next week looks just as good! (I’m just not enthusiastic at all about Dorit having a foray into the restaurant biz).

Denise said “fucking” at full volume at the beginning of the episode, well after she’d shushed everyone else. I’m not saying she can’t make up rules in her own backyard. If she thinks it’s ok to say fucking, but not to talk about lesbianism, that’s her right. I’m just saying I think it’s inconsistent. Last episode I asked why is it ok for Denise to say these things, and it was reported that Denise said her thing about Aaron’s dick still being big in a hushed voice and before the sex discussion started. That was not the case with the “fucking.“ I was listening this time. She’s not walking her own walk. I think what happened was that Denise knew it was wrong, but she allowed it to go on anyway, because she wanted to film the drama at her house. It reminds me of that middle school party I went to where everyone was raiding my best friend’s parents’ liquor cabinet and she was like, “oh, um, no, you guys shouldn’t do that. Fuck it, hand me one.” Today we call that plausible deniability. I feel like last season Denise got to skate big time and basically got to be Switzerland, and I’m glad she’s finally being forced to show her hand, even if it’s by Kyle, who is coming out of left field. Kyle was being a big baby, but at least she said she’s tired of the ass kissing. Even though she was being phony while she said it, I appreciate that it was said. I have been counting the number of times they would see each other and say “GOR-juss! since last season, and it’s a lot. I like Dorit saying everyone in the group are “fake ass bitches.” The first step is admitting it, right? I have to disagree with Teddi that it was a pile-up. Kyle was kind of somehow piling up on everyone else, and then she took her toys and went home when Garcelle asked one neutral question. What lesson was Amelia supposed to extract about anorexia when her 20 lbs less than her mom steals the photog’s attention? I love that Erika doesn’t want to put anything but heavy cream into her Cuban coffee. Dorit’s hair! Chinese queue chic. Giving Erika and her yak hair a run for her money. I love it. I liked Sutton’s heel in the same vein. Not something I’m going to attempt, but fun to watch. I’m so glad Garcelle and her husband talk to their kids about sex. Why isn’t Denise talking to hers about sex? She’ll scream at them, which she copped to last season, but she won’t tell them about HIV? Wasn’t Erika’s “ughhh” about “being around a pregnant girl” the same kind of thing Sutton said two episodes ago? Is it ok because she said it behind Teddi’s back and not to her face? I’m already dreading the reunion when Teddi dredges this up ad infinitum. So...Lisa replaced Harry with Lois?

Completely agree. I have noticed this since last season. Nene seems to have lost weight after gaining, so she’s close to where she was in the early seasons, and Cynthia’s weight has been creeping up slowly since she joined, so they’re about even now. I do think Cynthia wears less of her weight in her face and more in her ass, whereas Nene’s is more evenly distributed, but I also think people are more likely to notice Nene’s flaws because she’s so awful. Sometimes I see Cynthia from the back or the shot cuts out her head, and I am very surprised at the size of her body. The fact that each and every one of them has gained weight tends to mask it also. I want friends who are so good that they even gain weight with me!

Well, I mean, not to state the obvious, but I clearly care if I wrote an entire post on it. Andy must have cared if he asked Ariana about it on international TV, and that tends to indicate that it’s a topic of interest for the audience. It’s just like whether people care about a 19 year old going to the prom on RHNJ or anything else. I watch the show and post about what pings to me. If it doesn’t ping for someone else, more power to them. I think not having furniture in a multimillion dollar home is discussion-worthy. And I don’t think it’s obvious that they don’t think it’s cool. Tom wants to be filmed sticking a toothbrush that was allegedly just used on a public toilet in his mouth. Ariana talks about coming home from the gym and Sandoval wanting to go down on her before she can shower. There’s no accounting for taste, and these two are some strange birds.

Ah yes, I do recall seeing cocktail waitresses in heels at casinos and places like casinos. I’ve never seen it anywhere else though. The Hooters waitresses wear white sneakers. There seems something desperate and almost whorish about waitresses in heels IMO, but my problem with Brittany wearing them was that I think it makes it more obvious she’s not waitressing for any length of time. They’re putting vanity above reality, which I tend to dislike. When SUR reopens, I want to go there every shift and ask if I can sit in Brittany’s, Raquel’s or Scheana’s sections and ask for Jax and Ariana at the bar. When I am inevitably told that they aren’t there, over a period of weeks or months, I want to publish the results. No one ever sees anyone but Ken and Peter there, including people I know. I want to expose them for having fake jobs at a real restaurant. With the exception of Raquel, they’re millionaires. They’re not slinging pints. When can we stop pretending? When they have private jets? My problem with Tom and Ariana not having furniture is that it strikes me as so fundamentally immature. When I was 22, I threw a kegger at my virtually furniture-less condo and I thought it was cool for like a day, and then I was ashamed that people had to stand at my party. These people are 10-15+ years older than that. I resent the idea of doing it for continuity because that’s fake. It means they’re showing scenes out of sequence, which I don’t respect. Tom and Ariana are indispensable to the show, which means they have bargaining power, and they really don’t have to agree to anything. They could have just told the producers that they’re renting furniture while their custom-made furniture gets built, and the show can either film around it or not film them at home. The fact that they basically said, “yeah, uh-huh” to the idea of adulting without furniture is sort of uncool. It’s like they’re always straining to make sure everyone knows how different they are, when being different should be much more effortless. I heard Ariana respond to Andy’s question about it on WWHL and—first of all—her face has so much filler, you can bounce a quarter off of it, and secondly, when Andy asked her about the furniture, she dodged the question and gave a really long, rambling Ariana answer wherein she said that she invites people into her home and cooks for them and makes them cocktails (all completely irrelevant info) and that everyone knew they were getting custom furniture made and they were constantly looking at samples, but people left this out of their narrative and made up this whole other thing. For someone who is the smartest person she knows, someone with a genius IQ, Ariana never spoke to the question of why her house had no rented furniture in it, aside from that tiny table in one episode, if her permanent furniture was in the process of being custom made. When you have a $1.7 million home, people expect it to be furnished if they’re going to come over. They expect it on a $170,000 home. It’s just a matter of comfort, and if you don’t have it, people are going to say it’s janky. I’m a student of the books Faking It and The Lazy Intellectual, which teach how to pretend to be a wealthy, educated adult—and they’re really the funniest, best books—but I feel like they’re geared toward people firmly in their twenties. It seems like Tom and Ariana are constantly taking pages out of those books. For example, if you don’t have a lot of money for a home or clothes, buy one really nice thing, not several items of medium quality—ok, so you’re going to buy a motorcycle with a sidecar, but not furniture for your guests? I just think they should be playing out of a more mature, sophisticated book at this point. I’m over it. Just furnish your damned house like everybody else, not like a special snowflake. That’s my argument in a nutshell.

OMG, I noticed this because I have that pillow! And <gulp> it gets worse. It says “Mr and Mrs...established 2017” (so for Jax and Brittany, it would say “established 2019”). I thought I was cute for buying it and hiding it for my husband for our wedding night too, I’m not even going to start lying at this point! Right now I am just going to blame it on an acute case of TWI (temporary wedding insanity), as I just saw it, thought it was novel, and I was already spending like a crazy person, so what the hell, I threw it in the cart, but I hold no blame against anyone who wants to block me from this point forth. It’s a pretty comfy pillow though. To this day, I use it to prop myself up in bed when we watch The Office. It’s definitely going facedown tonight though!

I’m so glad Lala pointed out the fact that Sandoval and Ariana had no furniture and she was going to Jax’s because of that. As much as I hate Brittany and Jax, I hate Flariana too, and ever since the episode that we discussed that their home is bare, I have noticed all kinds of shelves and artwork in everyone else’s home across the seasons. What, does Ariana have a Picasso that couldn’t get cleared? It’s so Ariana to imply her art is special art that is more private than everyone else’s. Also, if they agreed to keep their house bare for continuity, then they get to be called out for having a bare house a year after moving in. That’s not normal. I’m not at all mad about a competing pool party though. Jax and Brittany deserve it and much more. I am also here all day for Brittany vs Ariana drama for the first time ever. May the bigger bitch win. Max is creating drama for drama’s sake. He is making Scheana look confident and self-assured. I just kept waiting for Scheana to scream in her muppet voice, “I call dibs on guy not picked by Dayna!” Shouldn’t Max’s issue be with Lala that he had to “hear about” Dayna and Brett making out? I am also so glad that Brittany was being a huge bitch on the phone to Katie, and not only did Schwartz stand up for Katie and call Brittany names, Katie said “rage text” three times, and I heard “raise check” (been watching a lot of poker since the quarantine) all three times, because Katie’s cheeks are so swollen, she doesn’t enunciate, and she’s always high. I hate all three of the people involved in that scene, so the damage they do to each other verbally just makes me happy. I was shocked Kristen didn’t go to Jax’s party until I saw Stassi and Beau show up, and then I realized she was picking the lesser of the evils. I would have definitely gone to Sandoval’s party, because I think people need to learn lessons, and when you threaten all your friends not to come to your pool party to stop a beach clean-up, you deserve exactly for someone to throw a competing party and to lose all your guests to that one. Lol, Ariana called Lala “Regina George.” If this is true, Scheana is so the Gretchen Wieners! Ok, Dayna called herself “hot” twice in the episode. We got rid of Billy Lee and got us a Dayna! She’s a crooked chinned, crooked nosed, flat-chested, non bra wearing bitch who isn’t funny and thinks way too much of herself. Yes, she’s blonde and skinny, and she’s articulate? But hot though? Naw. OMG, James is my favorite character! I loved Stassi confronting Jax in a gentle way (for Stassi). It says a lot that she’s nicer to the guy who is always first in the opening credits than her unpopular-ish ex best friend (Kristen). It’s that cool kids mentality showing up again.

Schwartz constantly rhapsodizing about how sexy Lisa is, and how much he wants to see her leg draped over a marble bathtub, is so...cute? When is Katie going to start talking about how hot Rand is with all of his money all of the time? We all know Katie loves the PJ. Why doesn’t she share inappropriately so that the child (Schwartz) will see how uncomfortable it is? Dayna, please don’t label yourself and Brett as “hot.” Now that I got a good look at you, you’re not hot. Brett is just not hot period, and shout-out to Charli for calling out the flannel. Brittany storming into the house in heels (no waitress has worn heels to work ever) from her “shift at SUR” to exclaim to Jax how unfair it is that Sandoval was having a competing pool party was the fakest thing ever. If Brittany was that upset, she would have texted Jax as soon as she found out, like every single other person who has a smart phone would do. She came off like such a fucking bitch, as usual. She’s not even pretending anymore. Yes, Jax is addicted to...exercise. That’s what they’re calling it these days. And how many times are they going to fucking belabor it! I get it that the producers are showing us how clinically insane Jax has become, and I appreciate the gesture, but it’s too much camera time on the same damn thing. The new storyline is that Jax is at the gym and Brittany doesn’t believe it. Noted. Oh no, not another restaurant, please not another restaurant! The opening of TomTom was two seasons of boring and faker than normal and I thought we were past it. I would so much rather watch them play softball. I don’t know if I have another restaurant in me. Definitely not a garden bar. Definitely not with Schwartz. Stassi making the offhand comment that Max and Brett both came to see their girlfriend was funnier than anything Dayna said onstage.

Amber is just a really sick woman who would have no TV audience if Gary didn’t come over “while Dimitri is out for a run” to be her mouthpiece. He doesn’t just listen to her, he speaks for her, and it’s jarring. He seems perfectly sane, so he’s just doing this for the money. The fact that he’s not self-aware enough to even attempt to put an altruistic spin on his appearances and cheerleading of Amber makes him stupid and money-hungry. So Leah’s got two loser parents. Perfect. I wouldn’t have believed Ryan made it to his daughter’s birth if they hadn’t shown pictures. He sure seems excited to have a daughter. 🙄 I can’t believe Mackenzie is only bringing one kid to Florida, and leaving the other two home. It’s Florida! That violates every rule of fair parenting. If it’s your sixth birthday, you get a cake and a small party, not a trip to Florida when your siblings are in Oklahoma. I don’t know if the smallest one is old enough to figure it out yet, but Gannon is eight, and I’m sure he feels like he either did something wrong, or his parents favor his sister for some reason, and he wouldn’t be wrong. Gannon’s dad left his birthday party before it was over, but he’s presumably spending a period of days with Jaxie for her birthday in Florida. Kids are sensitive. That shit doesn’t go unnoticed. All the kids should have gotten to go to Florida (which shouldn’t be hard if Mackenzie is working, because Josh was there), or none of them should have gotten to go. And it wasn’t lost on me that the other two would have to stay “with Papa.” If they’re not bringing all their kids to Florida, at least the dad could have stayed home to parent the boys, but he would never do that, because he doesn’t even pretend to parent his children. He went to Florida for the vacation aspect, not cause he cares about his kid. I liked Mackenzie so much better when she saw who Josh was and initiated the divorce process. For her to gallivant with him in a hotel and on a beach with only one of their kids screams dysfunction to me. I have said I despise Maci, but not even she would do this. Bringing only one kid on vacation seems positively Catelynn and Tyler-esque. If Amber needs to resort to a lie detector test, she doesn’t trust her partner. This is the obvious product of not getting to know someone before you get your feet wet, and it’s not remotely normal. Does she realize how bizarre it is to import him from a place by France when he has kids there, set up house with him and then have him take a “lie detector” test instead of, I dunno, oh, getting to know him? God knows she’s got time on her hands; she only has theoretically supervised visits with one kid, and pretty much no time with the other. If I don’t know exactly how a “lie detector” test was administered, I put zero faith in its results. Having said that, I don’t think Dimitri is anything worse than your average, everyday loser with a warped set of priorities who wants some fame and notoriety. I don’t think he is a danger to Amber. I think Amber is more of a danger to him. But, as Gary told Kristina in the scene filmed at their house, “any kind of domestic thing right now would totally screw her.” Does he realize the gravity of his words? Amber would be “totally screwed” by any kind of “domestic thing” because she repeatedly commits domestic violence. But that’s of no moment to Gary and Kristina, and Amber can be in their home around their young children, because, ca-ching. At least Dimitri didn’t bring his kids into the equation yet, so he has a leg up morally on the Shirleys to me. There’s something Munchausen by proxy that strikes me about Cheyenne as it relates to Ryder’s illness. I don’t think she’s faking it, but I do think she knows she’s boring, and I would be lying if I said that I don’t think she perks up a little when Ryder’s disease manifests because it gives her a storyline. If it was that serious, she wouldn’t film it, and she certainly wouldn’t be so calm and almost serene in filming it. It’s chilling. If it was that serious, and she wasn’t telling Cory, then she’s putting the potential monetary gain of The Challenge ahead of her kid’s health. I’m choosing to believe it’s not that serious, for Cheyenne’s benefit. BTW, what does R. Kyle Lynn (weirdest name ever) do with her time when she’s not filming with Cheyenne? Does she have a job or anything? I hope that she’s always hanging around with her kid and her goofy grin in the hopes that some dude with a few dollars in his pocket slides into her DM’s, and not because MTV thinks she’s show-worthy, because no, just no, on that one. Thank God the Tierra Reign website is back up and working! —Said No One Ever

Did anyone have any idea what Porsha was referring to when she was talking about her divorce from Kordell and what sounded like “up fronts”? She said it at least twice toward the end of the episode, when she was going back and forth with Nene, and neither time could I make heads or tails of it.

I just want to issue a disclaimer that I thought Molly was dead wrong. She should never have confronted Issa at the event; she should have left if she was so in her feelings. And she realizes if she’s mad at Issa for “stabbing [her] in the back,” her logic needs to extend to accusing Andrew of stabbing her in the back too, right? But. But. This show is written so well, that when I picked my jaw up off the floor, I realized the contrarian in me, the devil’s advocate, could theoretically make a case for Molly, and it’s in line with the post quoted above, and I just want to explore that a little to see where this line of thinking could go. If Molly is in a committed relationship with Andrew at this point (last we heard they were “exclusive”; I’m assuming they moved on down the line to boyfriend and girlfriend by the time of the block party), does Molly get to have separation between church and state with her friend and her man? Does she get to say, in her head, “I love Issa, but she’s messy as hell” and “I love Andrew, and I want to protect him”? Just because everything did go right doesn’t mean it was definitely going to go right. What if Andrew had extended himself for Issa, and it came back to bite him in the ass professionally? Would Molly still have no cause for complaint? Because I’m not sure we can make an outcome-oriented determination as to whether this was ok. What if it had gotten screwed up? I think it’s a really good question, and super interesting, because, as everyone is saying up thread, part of Issa’s job is networking. Is Molly allowed to make someone off limits? Could she make her mother or her brother off-limits to Issa? If so, why wouldn’t that extend to her boyfriend? I am sincerely wondering. I just know that if my cousin came to me and asked me if my husband could FaceTime with her so that my husband could give her poker pointers for an upcoming tournament, but I said no to my cousin, because I don’t especially like her and I think she’s a user, even though I love her because she’s my cousin...would I have no cause for complaint if she heard my “no” and had someone else ask him to FaceTime with her, and they FaceTimed a few times and nothing bad came out of it and I found out about it? (I’m trying to make this line of thinking as similar to Insecure as I can make my life). I think I would be very angry at that cousin on principle (and my husband, if he knew I said no, because that’s going behind backs). Would I have that right, or would I just be an asshole? (I’m completely aware of the fact that some of my emotionally driven thoughts are positively assholian, which is why I don’t always express them). I’ve never been in this situation before, so I don’t know what I would feel. I think I would feel slighted, but I might be wrong. Is there a fundamental difference between spouses and significant others when it comes to these questions? Because it would still leave me with a bad taste in my mouth if he and I were unmarried and the same thing happened. I mean, at what point does personal agency come into it—aka Issa’s right to communicate and ask for favors—and at what point is it disrespectful because one person in the couple spoke for the couple? I think the fact that Issa knew Andrew independently of Molly, through Nathan, is a factor. I asked my husband if he thought there was an argument to be made in Molly’s favor, and he said that when Molly said she wasn’t going to ask Andrew, it was implied that Molly didn’t want Issa to ask Andrew about it, and he would think it was a little weird for Issa to find “other channels” to get to Andrew. He said if he wanted to use my boss’s boat and I declined to ask my boss about the boat, he wouldn’t go to my co-workers and try to get them to ask for same. This is just to explore the other side. I think Molly was wrong, should have left, and should have been mad at Andrew if she was going to be mad at Issa, but is there anything to be said for Molly’s side? She might be 5% right.

I hear it across Bravo, though, regardless of the cultural origins of the parents. Melissa Gorga on RHNJ still calls herself “mommy” in the third person to her tween and teenaged kids, and I think it sounds horrible. If grammar isn’t being taught in the schools, that’s even more of a reason to teach it at home IMO. I think it becomes our business when Imani puts her business on TV. I know Phil isn’t Imani’s son’s biological dad, but it appears he took on that role, and I think he should be in the family home raising his stepson unless there is a really compelling reason not to be there, such as being deployed in the armed services or leaving for a short period to make a windfall so that he can be around to parent more in the long run. I for sure blinked when Britten left her family last season. I believe I wrote in the thread that she was California dreaming, and it wasn’t fair to her husband and kids. I’m still critical of it, and I’m critical of Contessa for leaving her family to get a degree that she could have gotten locally. I think that kids thrive in two-parent environment, and while there are exceptions, obviously, every effort should be made for the parents to be together raising their children. I don’t deny adults the right to mold and shape their lives however they want, but once kids are in the picture, I think parents have to put their needs second. That’s a big reason I don’t have kids. I want to be able to move across the country on a whim.

Remember last season’s storyline about her losing her license and how much she was freaking out? She had to go before the medical board, so I gathered she was a doctor. She’s also written scripts in the past. I think Chuck ultimately saved her license in some inadvertent way, as he didn’t really care whether she lost it, but man, was she freaking. I don’t know why either, as Axe told her she could keep her job babysitting at Axe Cap, so it wasn’t even good writing, but she had a hard-on for that medical license (which should have been taken away IMO) like nobody’s business.

I had a problem with it—with Wendy’s realtor shouting across the apartment that Chuck had frozen all of Wendy’s assets—on a couples of bases. First of all, Wendy would have known first if Chuck froze her assets. In this era of online banking, she would have gotten 25 emails on the matter within five minutes. It would be very odd for the realtor to be the first one to know. Second, these realtors didn’t get to the position of selling multi-million dollars properties—and becoming millionaires themselves—by being indiscreet. Wendy had another person there with her. People are really funny in that they say their lives are like open books, and their divorce is fair game and how much money they have is fair game (and Wendy isn’t even written as one of those people; she freaked out when Chuck revealed they do BDSM last season), but even if she presented that way, people still don’t want third parties revealing to their friends that their estranged spouse froze the assets. That can lose a realtor a client who might make several multi-million dollar real property investments in coming years. So I don’t see a consummate professional making this mistake. My third problem is that we didn’t even need the scene. Like I posted upthread, we’re supposed to figure things out on our own by watching. If the show needed to do this dance, we could have seen Wendy saying she’ll take the apartment and the realtor coming back and saying, “Wendy?” We all would have gathered there was a problem, and then we would have known the specifics when Wendy was later on the phone with Axe and she told him what happened. That would have been much more suspenseful in my opinion. So not only did I find it totally unrealistic, I found it silly and redundant to have this play out. The thimbleful of extra drama that it lent to the show wasn’t worth watering down the story by pelting us with the same run-of-the-mill info twice. This is my problem with the show in a nutshell. Stop trying to shock us, show, and just get good schemes going with a slow burn, and if we get it, we get it, and if we don’t, we’ll read the recap on Monday like everyone else, lol.

I’ll start with their looks, because that was the only thing I was sure I was going to get through: only Eva looked good, and I think she looked great. Cynthia is so filled with filler and restalyne, that she looks like she’s going to burst at her next appointment, before she can get her card punched for a free visit. She looks like a completely different person than she did when she joined this show. I’ve never seen filler seem to change the size of a person’s face from angled to round as a pumpkin, but Cynthia’s got it. Her eyes don’t even seem to open and shut anymore, everything is pulled so tight. She’s still a beautiful woman when she’s posing, and part of that has to do with being a great model, but she looks positively like she could be her own mother in pictures taken about nine years apart. I can’t imagine how this effect could be preferable to aging naturally: Meanwhile, Kenya and Marlo’s makeup guns were on the “kabuki doll” setting and it was scary. Porsha was wearing way too much makeup, but she probably looked second best to Eva. Her breasts were more covered than normal. Cynthia, Kandi and Nene were scaring the hell out of me with their breasts out so far. Cynthia (or Cynthia’s plastic surgeon) could have at least evened out her breasts. The one on our left looked a lot smaller than the one on the right. Nene was just all different colors. Her face and neck were the same shade of brown-ish yellow, her chest and breasts were bright pink, and then the bottoms of her breasts by the aureolas were brown again. Watching them makes me hate the fact that I have HD. I liked this reunion, strangely enough. It felt like the format made it harder for someone to dominate, not naming names (Nene). Andy put her on mute! Blessed are these gifts, Jesus. The first time I realized that this reunion had the possibility to be gold was when Kenya said she thinks Marc did a 360, as a way of saying he’s completely changed his ways, when that would be a 180. A 360 would mean he was the same motherfucker. Oh, Kenya, don’t pass Go, don’t collect $200, and never make fun of Porsha’s brain again. Nene won’t apologize for saying Kenya had a donor egg, because Nene was called bipolar? So Nene literally doesn’t know what an apology is. You apologize when you were wrong. Whether someone else wronged you doesn’t really come into the equation. That comes into play when you’re figuring out if you’re owed an apology. Welcome to second grade, Nene, it’ll be great fun. I fail to see why Kenya would owe Kim Z any kind of apology for speaking the truth that Kim tweeted at Chrissy Teigen, asking her who could her daughter Brielle blow to get tickets, just because Kenya’s marriage went tits up there for awhile. Andy would have to take the 44 minutes to explain to me what one had to do with the other. Nene is such a hypocrite regarding her stance on talking about the children vis a vis Sheree. Nene’s excuse was “I said what I heard.” Right. And, in season four, Sheree heard that your son Bryson stole razors from Wal-Mart, which he did, so how was Sheree wrong, according to Nene’s logic? I hate how they keep saying finances are off the table. I wish finances were on the table. I want to hear all about how broke Nene is. Let’s bring on the talk of foreclosure, I say. What is she going to do, shut her computer down on us? That was the best move made all night! Eva was really going for it and I was really rooting for her, against Nene and against Porsha. Where has This Bitch been all season?!? Porsha got off a good one when she said about Eva, “them titties is social distancing,” as I could tell she was in the spirit of things. The only problem is that Eva has normal sized breasts and she didn’t appear to be going for cleavage, she appeared to be going for the 2000 J.Lo look of a plunging neckline, so...the titties being distant is kind of the point. I understand Porsha likes her puppies stuffed together and up to the chin, so this was certainly meant to be an insult, and it was topical, so I’ll take it. I thought Kenya got in a few good lines about Nene looking like she was on the cast of White Chicks and that Nene wasn’t on the episodes, so she needed to stay at her computer to get paid. I almost forgot Nene skipped half the season because she felt like she was too good for us little people. I knew Kenya wasn’t completely useless when she reminded us of this. I liked Porsha vs Eva, but Porsha didn’t really have a leg to stand on, as Andy pointed out. It’s not an insult to say a baby looks like her father, and talking about healing from a c-section isn’t against the child. Porsha telling Eva she “look like a THOT with black lipstick” was really funny, probably because Eva wasn’t even wearing a dark lip. It was like a glossy medium. I just laughed because Porsha might be the last person around saying THOT, so that was a blast from the past. I was living for Kandi breaking down the Nene/ Wendy Williams friendship. Kandi does enjoy a reputation for truthfulness on this show, and I totally believed her In saying they have a friendship of convenience. Nene was strangely quiet. I guess Kandi does matter, after all, Nene, despite your protestations! Kenya’s “receipt” about Celebrity Apprentice was weak. Porsha’s season of CA aired like three years ago, which means it was filmed around four years ago. Anything said prior to the last reunion is old news. Get some new material. If Porsha was going to dig out some old text from Kenya about Cynthia, she should have just read it on air. She lost her moment and it lost all emotional impact that she wouldn’t do that. She also didn’t answer Andy when he asked her what year the text was from. All she said was, “this season!” Ok, this season felt like it took over a year to watch, let alone to film. I don’t care if Kenya said something kinda mean that we’re not allowed to hear about Cynthia a year ago. Porsha had her moment and she blew it. Old news. I’m moving on. I didn’t think the friends-of needed to show up for part one. They served no purpose. I don’t know who told Tanya a matte red lip would be a good look for her. It was so horsey. When she boomed how “boo-tI-ful” Cynthia was both before and after commercial break, it was such a physically ugly moment for her, that I was taken aback both times. The woman has got a set of chompers on her, not unlike Porsha, but Porsha is 20x better at hiding hers. “We dogged each other!” was really super funny, and a throwback, which is something this season sorely needed. Usually I hate Andy Cohen, but if he was able to elicit that from Nene and Porsha and get them to acknowledge there’s humor in their situation, I’m all for it. This seems a lot better than last year, talking about cameramen’s shirts being ripped off and who was miked and why regarding Cynthia’s party and all that dark shit. I just hope we don’t get too deep into “the snake” next week, because that storyline has been taken out back, shot, buried with a shovel, covered, and cemented in by a pack of wild horses and coyotes. So, natrually, Andy’s going to milk it to death and make this a three part deal, because that’s what he does, when two would more than suffice. I guess it beats the hell out of anything else I would be doing on a Sunday night at eight, and it was definitely better than the season, so I’ll stick around for next week.

If Imani’s behavior is affected by issues about her dad and people she’s known in the past totally betraying her, is she in the best position to practice psychiatric medicine? What ever happened to doctor, heal thyself? I hate when parents refer to themselves as “mommy” or “daddy” to their kids, like Shanique did. I would think speaking in the third person would confuse kids. It’s downright insulting to a 10 year old. Ok, I’m just going to say it: Hobart seems like he’s 16. He seems really cool though. Mac wasn’t joking last season when he said Britten had to search far and wide for a home. If they lived any further out, it wouldn’t be in LA; it would be in Ventura. I can only imagine the traffic. The whole thing seems like a step back. I thought I liked Jazmin, but if her husband’s picture is blurred, we’re clearly not going to meet him, and Jazmin is not a doctor, so what is she doing on a show called Married To Medicine? We can’t even get her son’s first name. That shit would never fly on the other show. I’m already tired of her incessant talk of her eating habits. You don’t eat; we get it. I just don’t really care. So, once again, why is Phil gone? I still don’t feel like we got an explanation. Why doesn’t Imani just say Phil’s opening a dispensary? I didn’t even know he was doing that; last season it was music, but why not just say that? Is Imani shy about marijuana? I doubt it. Opening a dispensary doesn’t make him any more of a drug dealer than a pharmacist. I think there’s a big problem in their marriage if he’s been gone for three months, and no one knows when he’s coming home. Leave it to Contessa and Britten to not put on Waze and be extremely late to Britten’s own party. Contessa is a selfish, passive-aggresssive, non-communicative asshole on her show, and Britten strikes me the same way. Kicking her husband out of the marital bed so she can sleep with her kids is something that I can’t really judge, because I’m not in their marriage, but they keep highlighting it and it makes me uncomfortable. What is the viewer supposed to do with that, laugh? I think that situation is sad, and I don’t enjoy it as a storyline. I can’t imagine this taking off when the Atlanta women finally leave (although it’s really time for them to leave), unless Kendra is interesting and I just haven’t picked up on it yet. I miss Asha from last season. Bravo doesn’t seem to have confidence in this cast if it didn’t get a reunion last year, and they keep bringing in pinch hitters, yet they couldn’t have found better doctors and doctor’s wives in all of LA?

I don’t think Chuck would have bought into the bullshit light therapy. I just feel like this show likes to force strange and different concepts on us, like the ayahuasca therapy, the wrecking room, and the female MMA fighter from last episode. It’s boring in how expected it is. There is absolutely no way that the real estate agent would announce from across the room that Wendy couldn’t get that apartment because her husband got a temporary stay on her assets. It’s like yelling across a restaurant that someone’s credit card was turned down. Other than showing us a beautiful snowy chalet, what was the point of that scene with Prince landing his plane? So we could learn Axe Cap’s aim was to take down Prince with a fireside chat and that Taylor was supposed to convince someone to invest in medicinal ayahuasca? That wasn’t clunky or extraneous at all. Why didn’t they just do it instead of talking about it? I thought this show was supposed to be geared toward an intelligent audience who didn’t need everything that was coming next to be spoon-fed to us with redundant dialogue. What at all was the point of that fireside chat? How was the audience—who I assume were busy and productive—benefiting from hearing it? Sometimes I think Damian Lewis leans on the outer-borough-unlikeliest-to-be-a-billionaire accent too much. He sounds like one of the Jets or the Sharks. With Axe and Wags away, there is a psychiatrist running a hedge fund? And an investor is able to access the floor, and Wendy has to scramble to decide what to do with her? Why is Axe Capital as accessible as Grand Central Station when everywhere that I’ve worked—which has far lower risk than a hedge fund—requires an electronic badge to access the floor? So the guy Dollar Bill was threatening was doing his own trading at Axe Cap and left his screen up and Dollar Bill saw it and wanted in? We’re supposed to believe any of this? I hate Bonnie. I hate everyone at Axe Cap. Their personalities are so cartoonish, as opposed to the two women from Mase Cap, who are written well. I didn’t understand why Chuck was in trouble with that woman at the beginning of the episode. Why is Chuck in trouble as AG again? Is it like last season, where Chuck just lost all of his power as AG for no explicit reason, and he had to heroically crawl his way back by having everyone with power arrested at that funeral in Albany? In other words, was there a rhyme or reason to this, or was it just placed clumsily there so that Chuck would have a stumbling block? I also had a hard time understanding why we would be interested in what was going on between DeGiulio and the senator. DeGiulio had written a memo about water-boarding and Chuck was pretending to go to bat for him so that DeGiulio would be in a position to argue in front of The US Supreme Court for Chuck at some point? Ok, whatever. This is so boring, compared to digging up dirt on Jock Jeffcoat and his involvement with the telephone lines and the trains. There, at least we were working toward something. At some point, I stopped trying to understand this episode. So Prince stole Axe’s shaman. Is there a shaman shortage? I thought it was bad in previous seasons when someone would drop an esoteric line from history or an old movie that all the other characters instinctively understood. I didn’t realize it could get worse with references to Dexter all fucking episode. No one is doing anything I find interesting or realistic or intriguing this season. I will give it one more episode with my full attention, and then I’m just going to give up and watch passively, because they’re now had 100 minutes to do anything positive or plot-worthy, and they haven’t. That’s pretty much DOA.

Right?!?! There was absolutely no provocation showed. What I saw was a few young people being sort of loud in a public park. If there had been any micro aggression whatsoever, it would have been filmed and picked up by mics and re-played over and over and over. TLC is obsessed with manipulating that type of shit. The fact that they had nothing to go on tells me that Trent wanted to get into an argument so that Amber could have a narrative about people who are “ignorant” and anti-little people. It is like, on Sister Wives, also a TLC show, when Meri moved into her first home in Flagstaff and had to immediately move out because of the awful, hate-filled, venom-spewing anti polygamist neighbors...that were never shown. When Trent went over to talk to the guys, they listened to Trent, but Trent wouldn’t let them get in a word edgewise. Trent said he didn’t want to say “bullied” or “picked on.” First of all, if you don’t want to say things, then...don’t say them. Saying them without saying them is passive-aggressive. Second of all, if anyone was being a bully or picking on anyone else, it was Trent. The civilized part of me was glad Jonah didn’t go over there, and was spared of making a further ass of himself, and the reality TV watching part of me felt like it was a missed opportunity. This is some Jussie Smollett-type psychotic shit to pretend people were hating on them when there is no evidence of same. Other than that, this episode was a lot less boring than usual. I wish they would get out and socialize with people more often. The usual family dynamics in Forsyth is like watching paint dry. On the upside, since there was no Russian food in sight, Alex didn’t cry one tear. I still can’t believe how underdeveloped he is mentally though. When he did that talking head that a good fortune cooking would say “your future is going to be great” or something, I was like, these are the musings of a six year old. I really think if Alex were of normal height, much more attention would be paid to the fact that he acts years younger than his age. It seems a lot more attention-worthy than Emma having a quiet disposition. I like Emma and Elizabeth a lot more with boyfriends and friends. I think Elizabeth got very lucky with her current boyfriend. He seems like a really nice guy. I’m not sure Emma’s boyfriend is really her boyfriend if they don’t get to see each other, but they seem to have a sweet relationship too. Here’s hoping Trent doesn’t fuck it up by asking about their bathroom habits (something he said he was going to ask all of his daughters’ potential boyfriend about, in an episode that was otherwise blissfully absent of bathroom-speak). Two episodes in a row with Trent for the win as Biggest Asshole (although he struck me as BA pretty much since I started watching this show).

I agree with this assessment, although I’ll take it a little further and say Dorinda probably has one size six dress that she can zip into using a coat hanger, and she holds onto it for dear life. Just her bust-line alone doesn’t appear to support a six. She also has wide hips. I know she loves HomeGoods, so is it a big stretch to thing she shops at Old Navy? Their sizes are completely nonsensical. A six at Old Navy would be like a 12 or more somewhere else. Vanity sizing, man. Either that or John gave her something from Madame Paulette’s that was left behind, and he scratched out the “1” before the “6.” (I’m kidding, I’m kidding). I was thinking about the idea that the camera adds 10 lbs, but we’ve also got Leah’s text from last episode to Sonja that she is a “size 2/4.” She had little impetus to lie about her size, as Leah would presumably want the dress to fit more than impress us with a small size that happened to be flashed on a phone for one second. I was taught that each dress size is approximately 10 lbs. So if Dorinda is a size 5/6 and Leah is a size 1/2 or 3/4 depending on the cut of the garment, we are being asked to believe Dorinda is right around 15 lbs heavier than Leah? Leah is tiny. The only way Dorinda is only 10-20 lbs more than Leah is if Leah is in her second trimester. Now that Dorinda has put this info out there, and Leah’s info sort of got leaked, I would love for there to be a scene of them shopping anywhere that has the same designer, so they can each try on the same dress, one in a four for Leah and one in a six for Dorinda, and have them both fit. That’s one scene that will never happen, unless one or both of them have significant weight swings.

^^^ Since my post was quoted, I assume the above was in response to what I said. I never said “pearl clutching.” I never said anything, except why was Denise talking about how big her husband’s “dick” was at that table where the same exact kids could overhear? I posted about this as soon as the episode aired, I have yet to understand how there could possibly be a difference. It seems like a whole lot of “do what I say, not what I do” and that’s the place where I find Denise to be dead wrong. It’s valid to not want kids to hear about sex at her home. It’s not valid, IMO, to talk abut your husband’s dick size and then hush all talk about lesbian experimentation because of the children’s virgin ears. That’s my sole objection.