Lantern7

Maybe it'll be Michael Bolton from Office Space. Signed a petition to have the Electoral College to dump YKW. I don't know how else to help out.

I know he's old, but Bartolo was the second-best pitcher the Mets had. Just watch . . . he'll hit the first two homers at the Braves' new park.

I want this, but I figure this would lead to a civil war. I mean, there have never been an effort to round up everybody's guns like some people fear, so I find it unlikely that Obama would tell 45-47 percent of voters that their vote was meaningless, even though the guy they picked consorted with a foreign power and would be dragged out by his hair and beaten up in a more just world.

I'm thinking there won't be any pardoning of the turkey on Thanksgiving if those two wind up in power. I keep forgetting about the origins of the Electoral College. And while it might lead to an unofficial civil war, how awesome would it be if it denied You-Know-Who his presidency?

That was fun. I needed that. Sara kicked ass, we had Martin-on-Martin fun, and we got freakin' Frank Black as Obsidian. Never mind how a shadow man can get shot . . . at least he lived. And they threw in a husband for Todd. Nice touch. I don't think there's a glaring weak link like with Kendra last season. I know Nate's a goober, but he's fun to watch. One question: if Commander Steel and Vixen/Amaya were an item . . . where did Nate's dad come from? Really hoping we don't get Nate/Amaya as a couple, because that would be weird. Ray as "Colonel Cold." I'm hoping it lasts until he can do back to being an Atom again, because watching Mick deal with "Haircut" is always funny. ETA: Shit, you're right. I got my white guy heroes mixed up. Sorry.

And there's a chance Michelle managed to pop Melania's head open, do a little recoding, then sending her back to her master. ETA: This would explain a helluva lot.

Thinking about avatars . . . here's Obama as a Blue Lantern from 2011. The deal is that there's an "emotional spectrum," where people can channel emotions into power through rings. In DC Comics' books, Blue Lanterns symbolize hope. While most of them are presented as holy beings, with their leader's name being Saint Walker, I figured Obama would qualify because he represented hope so well. I don't know if I can squeeze the whole thing into a small space, but I'm willing to try. Is Hillary Clinton the female John McCain? Both were thwarted at the primaries, came back eight years later, only to lose to agents of change from the opposing side. With Hillary's many faults, at least she won't go down as the person who unleashed Sarah Palin on an unsuspecting world. ETA: The tagline from Saint Walker: "All Will Be Well." Sounds naive as hell given the circumstances, but I'm willing to latch onto it.

South Park has been "covering" the election, with Mr. Garrison standing in for YKW and Caitlyn Jenner as his running mate. A lot of this season has hinged on Member Berries; sentient fruit that reminds people of the past in a favorable way. If those things existed, I would totally blame them for what happened to us. I kinda wish Obama would be a lot colder, especially since his successor (pause while vomit builds in mouth) constantly claimed he was not an American. But that's the burden of being the standard bearer. He can't bring himself to ruin the chances of somebody who's not 100 percent white, so he won't even have his dogs have an "accident" on YKW's leg.

lordonia . . . you know what would have happened had Hillary won? Nothing. Not a damn thing. She would push her agenda, only to get blocked by obstructionist Republicans, which is what has happened over the past six years. On the other hand, she wouldn't have to become the first President to get a perp walk, with Fox and YKW crowing about it. And if she wanted to get reelected, the Republicans would stumble in finding the best candidate to oppose her. Remember, those guys went from a war hero to an out-of-touch billionaire to counter Obama. ETA: If Russia has taken part in the campaign and if the Electoral College rebels . . . well, that would be awesome. I mean, the nation would be divided, and no amount of drum circles could fix it, but at least we'd have somebody halfway sane in charge.

Getting a little feeling back. Not enough, though. I want to do something to make life better . . . mine and others' . . . but this is a ball that's too big to handle. I know that bitching about what happened won't solve shit, that I can compare You-Know-Who unfavorably to comic book characters (short list: Atrocitus, Larfleeze, Sinestro, Hulk, Darkseid, M. Bison), but that doesn't do much except provide catharsis. All I can do is not say the really dark stuff I want to say, not because it would be taboo, but because I don't want to descend that far in my rage. I am thinking of changing my avatar to this sketch I got in April. Right now, it's Deadpool by Steve Dillon, the only sketch I ever got from the co-creator of Preacher, who passed away last month.

Fuck me, and fuck Rush. I'm hoping he'll need surgery soon, and the only person who could operate on him is Michael J. Fox. I go to Jon Stewart's disciples for my news fix. Thanks to Tuesday, they could be deported to their nations of origin. And I'm convinced the same would happen to Larry Wilmore if he still had a show, and I'm aware that he's from around here.

Out of all the late night comedy hosts, I'd like to hug Trevor the most. This was not the ideal first election for him, even if things had gone the other way. He stands proud, where Jon Stewart decided to walk away from the daily grind. Trevor will be okay no matter what, but this was not the best way for him to enter the scene.

Another amusing bit: the number of locks on Butters' door. Even with Gerald going full douchebag, the Stotches still have to be the worst parents in South Park.

And I'm back to crying, this time over a fan parody of Yu-Gi-Oh! Can't I just skip to the part where I feel nothing in my soul?

And You-Know-Who tweeted about how bad the Electoral College was in 2012. Apparently, irony wasn't done kicking us in the balls for 2016.

Malcolm is still skulking around somewhere, right? I understand he's busy elsewhere, but drugging people into killing others and he knows about Oliver's list? He'd be the first guy on my list.

I cried. Cracked watching Full Frontal. I don't feel any better. My soul still feels like it's going to throw up at any second. And I got "Hurt" playing in my head. Not the Nine Inch Nails original . . . the Johnny Cash cover. Damn it, why did Logan reintroduce that in the trailer?

Not cheered up. At least the guys got the tone right. And now I feel like Caitlyn Jenner vomited member berries all over me. And they're. Not. Taking. Trolls getting Rick-Rolled was funny. So was Butters pressing pickle.

I still feel cold, and it's not the weather. There is no amount of polish that can make the turd look better.

Melted-down arrows formed into lethal throwing stars? That's unique. Points for originality. Just wish I could feel more about it. No way Quentin is Prometheus.

Lots of maneuvering, and what happens? Right . . . another woman exits, leaving us with three. I find this very disturbing. I can't take Taylor seriously as a villian. He's too much of a bro, and he's not a generic douchebro.

Why wait until 2020? Crash the inauguration speech. "Yo, Don, I respect ya, but I gotta talk now."

I can't think of any major way how my life will change, and my soul is still cold. Last night, I woke up less than two hours after going to bed, with thoughts of You-Know-Who fucking things up. Even if the Congress Republicans decide to limit his influence for the good of the nation, I'm still ashamed to be an American. At least Dubya had political experience. And at least there was a glimmer of hope that Gore would prevail. We have nothing now. Anything is in play. Opponents-turned-stooges could get Cabinet posts. Chris Christie will probably be content on becoming Chief Taint Cleaner. Our economy is going to crash. We might get into new wars. I am legit scared. And YKW will use his office to settle scores. And what the fucking fuck was wrong with Hillary? Yes, she has baggage, and she probably took ambition lessons from Lady MacBeth, but she was so much better than the alternative. She's not coming back, and we're going to be poorer for it. And the scary thing is that Obama probably would have lost to the angry white vote. I'm a white guy, and I am not in the 63 percent. No fucking way, not even for kicks in the blue state of New York. I don't see any hope on the horizon. I can't see it. Please, somebody tell me things will work out, and we won't be fucked and grabbed by the crotch over and over again. And don't say "Michelle 2020." I think most of this country is sexist and racist enough to vote down another First Lady, even if she's never sent an e-mail in her life. If I had the money to move, I'd go to New Zealand. I'd like to be close to Paddington, the unbelievably handsome Shar Pei.

Just want to get things started. For those who missed it, here are the full opening credits with subtitles: And picking up from the Toonami thread . . . I'm thinking we're dealing with Anime Physics, and if Jojo or Dio hadn't tried to stop their falls, it would've taken them the length of "Roundabout" by Yes to hit the floor. Speaking of which, Toonami seems to keep the closing credits intact. I'm good with that.

Speaking of the cape . . . anybody else happy that the carpet from Aladdin is still used by Disney?