Auntie Anxiety

I hope she'll remember to bring the extra long twin sheets. Perhaps we should send her an "off to college" checklist from Bed Bath and Beyond.

I'm worried about their dogs! I care more about that than Joe's and Teresa's welfare.

If there's another season, I'll watch. Was sorry to see Bunnie (from The Wire) being a bad guy. If nothing else, the show moves quickly, which gives it a 24 vibe. I like the ride. Sean Bean is an added bonus.

If nothing else, the four beautiful daughters will do all their reading assignments because they'll be afraid of going to prison if they don't.

Not sure exactly why, but suddenly my inner voice said, "Uh oh. Better call Saul."

Coming soon to a Dollar Store near you......

What with the accountants and the lawyers being the ones to blame, should we assume that Joe found them at Acme CPAs and JDs? Regarding the 4 bottles per night of wine, is Joe trying to drain the container of Fabellinis single-handedly?

Well, that was incredible, as in, unbelievable. And if looks could kill, Joe would have already felt that knife in his head? Back? Whatever the hell he said the other night. Teresa will never admit to herself that she is just as guilty as he is. And how clear was it that she has absolutely no intention whatsoever to allow Melissa or Joe Gorga to spend time with HER daughters. As if now is the time for her self-righteous attitude.

And I'm thinking that Joe will start getting "lonely" (read horny and in need of someone to make him feel better about his plight) right around the holidays, will impregnate another woman/his mistress/brainless bimbo/one of Teresa's mortal enemies and the baby won't be due until after Teresa is out. Joe won't tell her about it, but the baby momma and Teresa will end up crossing paths at Club Fed visiting day. Then Teresa will run back in to the prison and force Joe to have sex with her, a la the vineyard debacle.

If Joe were a drug addict, would the judge have allowed him to be home with the kids by himself? Drugs, alcohol, whatever it is, it makes no sense to me. Just one more thing that their four beautiful daughters can be humiliated about.

Funny, because I've gone in the opposite direction. I almost never tune into Bravo anymore. My last show there of interest is Top Chef, but after Padma's gratuitous prancing in a fringed bikini last season(?), I have pretty much had enough. I'll tune in this season because it was filmed in Boston, my hometown. Of course I watched the Joe and Teresa Stupidity Tour on Monday and will watch the second half tonight, but the lame ass conflicts and the manufactured drama in all the franchises drove me back to scripted tv, which can be quite good, now that networks like AMC and TNT realized audiences can handle more complex story lines and darker plots.

Let me get this straight: Alicia is planning to run for SA and have all of her dirty laundry aired to the public because it wasn't enough for the kids to have to live through that whole episode with their father? How loving and protective of her. This show is bordering on the ridiculous. I'm sort of not caring about anyone on the show. Eli is being written like a caricature of himself, the entire takeover of FA by Diane and the others from LG is implausible, and it is becoming clearer and clearer that Will was the heart of the show. By the way, I don't think it was mentioned that the detective on the stand played Artie (the restaurant owner) on The Sopranos. The best part of the show for me is recognizing familiar faces.

Wait....what? I thought I heard her say in a voice-over in the latest episode of RHONJ that Joe was so romantic. You know, like at the table in the restaurant when Joe said he had a boner just looking at her. Who wouldn't swoon at that?

It sort of reminded me of when I'm walking my dog, she pees where another dog just peed to show mark her territory and then the first dog will re-mark it. I wish I could come up with a word worse than "pathetic" to describe Teresa's behavior in the vineyard.. Such a good role model for her four beautiful daughters.

The banks and sub-prime lenders were throwing money at anyone who had a pulse, as opposed to 2009, when I tried to get a mortgage to buy my current house before I unloaded my old house which was FULLY paid for. I had no debt, a great credit rating, a lot of money in assets (including stocks, bonds, cash, in addition to the house) and I had to jump through hoops ad infinitum. I had a Certificate of Deposit come due, I cashed it in and took out $200 of that to use, and the bank wanted to know where that $200 was. Umm, I spent it on groceries? Thus, I get bullshit when I hear about people using their refinancing as an ATM machine.

A few pages back, right after watching the horror show of denial and victimhood, I mentioned that not only is Gia being made to parent the younger beautiful daughters, but she is also being made to parent her own mother. What a shitty thing to do to your kid. I would have told Gia that all she needs to do is concentrate on herself, get good grades, try not to let this situation determine her own future and that no matter how bad things are, they are all going to live to see another day. Since Teresa has absolute no level of sophistication, that would have been far beyond her ability, not to mention having to put three words together in a comprehensible sentence. I also remarked about the humiliation and how scarring this will end up being for the four beautiful daughters. I remember telling my ex, when we were separated and he was losing his license to practice law, that if I wanted to be humiliated, I could do that all by myself without his help, thank you very much. Thank you, Baby Jesus. I was wondering if Teresa applied to college via early decision.

Caroline should just charge for counter wiping lessons and be done with it.

I continue to be fascinated and mesmerized by her small forehead. Hopefully someone in prison will have a clever nickname for it.

It sounded like Gia is being made to parent Teresa as well. If I were Gia, I'd probably resent the hell out of this for the rest of my life, but then again, in high school I was voted "Most Likely to Hold a Grudge." We've probably all been humiliated at some point or other, but never on such a wide scale in front of a large audience. I doubt that any of the four beautiful daughters will go unscathed. But Teresa and Joe love their children, dontcha know.

Didn't I read or hear somewhere that there are prison coaches, like a life coach, except for, you know, the obvious? Teresa needs to find one who takes IOU's.

I would have liked to hear more about what made these women think it was a good idea to have a second child with Jay when he wasn't doing the right thing after the first child was born. Also I don't recall the words "birth control pills" ever being mentioned. It's easy to talk in silly phrases like "the person, the penis and the promise," but how about something less abstract, like "Stop having sex with men who have 34 kids with 17 other women." I find it very frustrating.

This is classic! Who are you going to believe? The Guidices or your lying eyes? And she definitely throwing Joe under the bus. To me, she looked as pissed as shit. Maybe she did question him when he put papers in front of her to sign but can't you hear him say "Don't worry about it."?

The probability that Joe will be deported is even more incredible to me because at this point, anyone who has a pulse is allowed to stay in the US, whether they are here legally or not. Makes me chuckle that Joe is the outliar.

Heatherchandler, I love you. So how many of you will be watching tonight (it's tonight, right?)? I think it's my duty to do so (although I might tape it because that way I can ff through the commercials and waste less of my life on these ingrates).

I agree that there are real issues and a lot of people being affected, but no one wants to address the issues head on because it's not politically correct; it's like touching the third rail. Remember the days when being on welfare was an embarrassment? Now it is something to brag about. Remember when Dan Quayle admonished the the idea of out of wedlock babies? He was made a laughing stock. Remember when the government put a limit on what you could buy with food stamps? Now you can simply take your EBT card to the nearest ATM, get the money out and spend it at the local strip club/tattoo parlor/casino. No one is talking about the black-on-black crime that is exploding in our inner cities, either. I wish that Iyanla and Oprah would tackle some of this instead of holding the mothers' hands and telling them that it's okay to have numerous kids with a skank ass man and it's not their fault that they chose so unwisely. Yes, it is their fault! Yeah, I'm a dinosaur and come from the Age of Personal Responsibility (it came right after the Stone Age). Iyanla needs to show some tough love instead of her little party games (write down the man's name and put it in a box, stand behind each other for support, piles of dolls on couches and chairs).