MollyB

this is how I know I'm not really watching this show. Or I missed some episodes altogether. So Paul just bought the 'accident' theory of Austin's death even tho the body was found in a car?! (Now I am convinced that the Abbot Cabin is in a side room at Crimson Lights.) Didn't question how Austin got there? Or have an autopsy? I just assumed Paul had it as a murder, but low on the priority list since there were so many other events that night. And no cop house in the world is going to let one guy work on restoring the computers for what seems like days-hell, call the Geek Squad. This show just gets dumber as fast as bamboo grows. Thanks, Peach, for being able to make a fun read out of the nonsense.

And The Kid SCOOORES!

Glowlights nailed it. They have to solve the murder because poor widdle Sumdum needs to know why her precious was muuurrdered. Doesn't matter that everyone else runs the risk of being clonked in the head, or dead in an amoire-Snotflake neeeds to knooow! They all love her that much. (dry heaves for Molly). While I'm on a rant-just once when the Finger of Accusation is pointed at Sharon for some(any) heinous crime- I like to see her pull out her calendar and say, "oh, I was at my therapy appointment-wanna talk to my doctor? Got her on speed dial right here."

Thank you! This explains why Victor had a beautifully rolled (all ten fingers) card but blows his theory of taking the fingerprints off his computer system the hacker used (no one leaves all ten complete on a keyboard). So he ran all his employees past and present to see if they hacked him? Then he hacked into Jabot to see their collection of fingerprints? (And hasn't figured out that Gabe and Adam are one and the same?) Aaannnd has a certified forensic analyst in house to compare all those prints? No wonder he missed his grandson's wedding.

I was amazed that Victor had a full ten card of fingerprints-but if you factor in Harding, then it makes some sense. Maybe Victor had Adam's fingerprint card (next to the bronze baby shoes and first grade picture) and is getting Harding to run it against Gabe's. Don't quite understand why that brings Jack down other than outing Jack for knowing who Gabe really is. Jack isn't necessarily harboring a criminal* just because someone says he is Adam and he (Jack) believes it. *Was Adam ever charged with Delia's death or just a person of interest? Don't see enough to bring a whole damn company down with this.

rename the show Non-Hate You Madly?

Thanks, ByTor and Peacheslatour. Tell your moms I said 'hey'! What I should have compared it to is the Progressive 'girl' who still has the 'bump' and the overdone makeup and annoys the hell out of me. I'm old. I bitch.

Every guy had to be enamored over Cricket while Nina sat by watching, eating a bag of Lays.

I should have phrased it better-if long hair (or whatever length) looks good on you I agree, it doesn't matter what your age. With the group I mentioned, it just looks as if they are holding on to the past-desparately. Lauren is supposed to know the cutting edge of fashion, Nikki is a gazillionaire and Cricket-she's Paul's age-not a younger wife, and they are all wearing the same cut they have had for years. Sorry if I stepped on toes. (and yeah, I have the Jamie Lee cut.)

Topic: Hair (not the musical) Nick and Darvon need to shave it, wash it and look like they actually have a million or so bucks. Thinned out mustaches/beards look juvenile. Lauren and Cricket and Nikki need to get age appropriate cuts-see Jamie Lee Curtis for advice. [Mrs. C's hair stylist must still be alive] Michael-you're having radiation treatment-losing hair and/or graying is part of the process. Everyone, extensions are not always your friend.

Great recap, as usual. Thanks for explaining the editing-I thought I was having acid flashbacks or a stroke or something. This season's first episode of Archer-quick call John Taffer! Keep trying to learn to open a box. I'm on the last season of Mad Men, and I learned it would make more sense for the buyer to come to GC and be wooed and inebriated by the Jabot team. Actually, in the age of hi-def cameras and computers, couldn't this be done on line? My whole thing with Chelz is this high-powered business woman persona that doesn't have any backstory to support it. (Aint buying the repurposing thrift store garments to high fashion in between ripping people off. And I know, I know- #1/#2 Cane doesn't have any credibility either). Chelz makes more sense and becomes rootable when Anita is on deck reminding us that they were grifters. I need that contrast to appreciate the work it took to rise above it-without Anita, Chelz just looks like a poorly drawn Cinderella character-very uncomfortable in the old money world of the Abbots. Even Billy treats her as if she doesn't understand the social world she's in by scheduling a meeting at a wedding venue that "is so hard to get-you have to book months in advance" -Ashely- Gah, everybody knows that. Really, Chelz, how could you schedule a business meeting? I'm wondering if Abu Dabai's Chamber of Commerce has contacted CBS with a cease and desist order for slamming their competency. Also wondering why the staff of GCAC allows so much drama in the bar-between Lily/Cane/Neil/Darvon/Hillary and Kelly's drinking and Stitches Irish Bar Fight part I- there is no way I'd want to eat in that place. Although the seats are better than at Wrestlemania.

Wow, a little r&r goes a long way with you! Loved this recap-some favorite lines: The repairs?? The whole building collapsed. super special daughter that means everything to me whose husband just died but I haven’t thought about in several days! I’m not sayin’ it was right, Abby, I’m just sayin’ I unnerstand. (love me some Chris Rock) Except Kyle, of course, shadow lurker, Summer coveter, and keeper of bloody towels. OH EM GEEEE, if they make my Sharon the murderer of that goat-bleater’s husband, I don’t even know what I’ll do. An Archer RAMPAGE, maybe. (I'll be right there with you!) I bet she sends money to Nigerian princes. Dylan just stares at her, like, are you fucking KIDDING me?? Who ARE you?

Oh, Peach, I so missed you. Quick interview, inquiring minds need to know how you feel after a brief (long to the rest of us) hiatus: did the 180 change in Stabby relationship startle you do you think Victoria took some on-line business courses while you were gone will the show now be Kevin uncrypting (oh, god, I love that word-just had to type it) dirt on everyone instead of plot isn't "a guy so f’ing fantastic he advises her to give up her financial security for no reason" one of the major signs of a domestic abuser did you see how Victor showed up in the (public) interrogation room at the jail and no one could see him but Smelly. Didn't even have a visitor pass. is Kyle real or a creepy figment of everyone's imagination what do you see in the future for wanna-be-CoCeo who had almost the same mental state that has been assigned to Sharon [remember the blanket baby] in regards to figuring out what her daughter's relationship is to the guy she banged in the shower was the bartender in the dive bar serving Neil and Nikki water (yeah, right) the same bartender at GCAC hitting on Michael's Irish Setter Glad to have you back, gurl, (shout out to Sharon's mom) you inspire me! edited to change bartender to one word per my son's screams.

Welcome back, Peach! I think we all needed a break from this show-apparently the writers took one. This scene wouldn't have been missed, anyhow, since it didn't really further any story. It did give a PIR model something else to put on his resume (or whatever actors have). What a waste of Michael-he's almost beginning to sound like that damn goat/summer. If I told him to 'sack up', would that be cruel?

I will never knit or crochet again..... I can't believe she survived the peanut butter coma and subsequent European Clinic-special teachers/training without any after effects. Where did she go-Lourdes? Rather see the family dealing with special Summer than shallow Summer.

Yeah, I threw up a little in my mouth on that. Grandkids on Easter. The fun part was when it was revealed Chelz is going to design Red's wedding dress-an exclusive. Oh, fixed smile all around on that-the Abbot's do have class. Surprised that Red didn't just slither over and crush the life out of Kmart Dior and then swallow her whole, to slow clap from Sage.

Yeah, this is a good time for a break since I don't think the writers know who's in the confessional, who killed Austin or even why, Kyle's motivation for anything he does and have no where to go with the Sage/Gabe lotsabucks story. Have a good vacation and lose the cold and we'll all be here eagerly awaiting your return. Enjoy!

If Sage keeps her mouth shut and doesn't reveal Adam. Otherwise they are both up on fraud charges-she isn't just an accessory, she participated. I also think the lawyer/executor would be vewwy, vewwy suspicious of the sudden 180 since they were assuring him that it was definitely not a marriage just to get the money. Adam's advantage is no money but free to pursue Chelz (unless I missed something about him getting some inheritance if the marriage doesn't last). Thing is, Sage is so confrontational and seems to have gotten some attitude from being around Nick, that I think Adam may see her as a liability and she moves to #1 on the GC Hit List. I really don't understand why Sage bothered with this whole identity switch in the first place. She was already married to the real Gabe (from the brief flashbackstory seemed in love with him and maybe he her) and I doubt that the conditions of the will would have been adhered to if Gabe (or Sage) died before the three years. Saving Adam, switching him, plastic surgery-ing him, nursing him seem like an awful lot of planning to do within the span of an accident, especially with an unknown quantity. She had no idea if Adam even spoke English let alone would go along with the plan.

Ooooou. Words to come back and haunt you, Paulie! Great recap, Peach-you nailed it, as always!

This is what burns my toast-everything is ok if it is for family. (See Cane's and Hillary's excuses). Not one time since Victurd walked in on Nikki clutching a bottle of wodka and slamming down a shot that would kill a horse has he thought about her. He has time to meet a fake priest in a fake confessional in a fake chapel, play Bucket List with Jack, hunt down a damn doctor to sign him out but not once does he check on Nikki and not even a call to his kids! Yeah, a real family man. I vote for making him Pure Evil. Makes more sense.

And he really did say that! My stars and fishes, the writer's have a sense of humor?! Did one of them work on Airplane!? Great recap, Peach, and loved the meme. As much as I want Christine to be Drinki's target, Smelly runs a very close second. Maybe she could hit both of them?

Neither have I, but I have seen churches next to and accessible from the hospital. I just can't believe they have a designated confession priest who sits in the hospital chapel waiting for someone to confess. And from my limited knowledge of Catholicism, you don't just walk in to a confessional and start spewing-don't you have to be at least Catholic and confirmed and know the ritual? Most of the chapel scenes annoy me anyway, because they always start with "I know I haven't talked[prayed, attended church] in forever, God, but I've got a problem now....help me"

Gobshite works for me. It sounds so exotic. Every interrogation room I've ever seen in real life and tv has a video camera and microphone in it. Why doesn't Paul just turn that on? And why are these 'kids' hanging out, screaming and hysterically whispering at a police station? Whatever happened to the Malibu Condo?

I knew it wouldn't ever be Nick's fault. Muoy Hero! Doesn't Wisconsin have access to the National Weather Service? A storm of such epic proportion would have: Been on the radar long enough to issue warning bulletins, held up small craft flights, kept people off the roads (and Nick says the party was breaking up early because people wanted to get home before the roads closed but Sharon had already run into a ditch, so fuck that time line), and probably made 99% of the cabin party bail because 93% of them didn't want to go anyway.